Wives Pleasing Their Husbands is Just Plain Wrong?

Women should NOT be using the F word or any swear words, for that matter. It is vulgar, ugly and unfeminine. "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers" {Ephesians 4:29}. Foul language should not be named among those who call upon the name of the Lord! However, I am going to quote a recent comment from my post Stay Attractive for Him which encourages women to make a strong effort to stay attractive for their husbands. This offends many enlightened women in our present day culture. The woman who wrote the following comment has no desire to please her husband, if she even has one.

“You've gotta be f*** kidding me. It is no woman's 'obligation' to dress how a man wants her to or wear her hair a certain way. This is the most ignorant blog post I've ever read. It's women like you who are making the rest of us strong, independent women look bad. Women should be whoever they want to be and dress however they want to dress regardless if it makes their man happy or not. It's the 21st century; cannot believe people still have this mindset. I feel so sorry for you and other women who live like this”. 

I’ve gotten a lot of comments similar to this one on my blog. I don’t publish them but I thought I would give you an example of one to show you how far my teachings to women differ from those of society, which I am sure you already know. The unfortunate thing is many women who call themselves Christians live more like women in our society and feel like this woman instead of how godly women committed to the Lord and His ways should live.

Sure I could quote Scripture to her about pleasing her husband, submitting to him, obeying him, adorning herself with a meek and quiet spirit, etc. but it would probably make her want to throw up. She would probably have NO concept of this and it isn’t natural for most women to live this way. Usually, it takes the Spirit of the Most High God living inside of us to be able to live a life of godliness and purity. It is difficult, if not impossible, to do in the flesh but if we walk in the Spirit, all things are possible for us.

Does this woman believe that the feminist mindset has actually made our society a better place? Are marriages stronger? Are husbands happier? Are children more secure and disciplined? Do most children grow up to be hard-working and productive adults today? It’s amazing to me when I hear that people think this society is getting better when it clearly is not. I suppose it depends on what you judge it by. If you judge it according to God’s Word, it is getting much worse. If you judge it according to people being able to live however they want without any restrictions, it is getting better.

 I wish she would have shared how I make strong, independent women look bad by what I write. I can’t quite figure this one out unless she believes that what I teach is actually superior to what she believes, thus making those like her look bad and feeling guilty for not pleasing their man. It only makes her look bad, in my opinion, if she is insecure with who she is and how she lives her life.

A wife who dresses however she wants and gives no thought to whether or not her husband likes her clothing, hair, whatever, will probably not have a happy husband. If she has this attitude about the way she dresses, she will have this attitude about everything that concerns him. She has decided that it is much more important to please herself rather than her husband. She thinks this is a good thing. This mindset has led to the current state of marriage today. Many women decide they are not happy in their marriages so they either have an affair or they get divorced looking for happiness elsewhere. 

If our goal in life is to be happy and depend upon our circumstances to make us happy, we will never be happy for long. There is no perfect husband out there. When women like her get remarried, unfortunately, they take themselves into the next marriage and continue to please themselves instead of their husband. This is in complete opposition to how the Lord commands that we live. She is acting like a child who is selfish and is only looking out for herself and what she wants as many of us are until we understand that this is not the way a follower of Jesus lives.

She sure doesn’t need to feel sorry for us as she wrote. Living for the Lord and His ways are the best ways! Trying to please our husbands and making them happy, giving our lives away and becoming living sacrifices by walking in the Spirit are what brings true blessings to our lives. Yes, the world’s ways look attractive to our flesh and to live lives for ourselves and our own pleasures, but they are not. They are short term gain for long term pain. There is no long term satisfaction or joy in living for us; just disappointments and unhappiness. Live for Jesus and find lasting joy!

The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.

Psalm 19:9, 10

***On Monday, September 7th, I'm going to be starting a 10-week series using Nancy Leigh DeMoss' study guide called "Interior Design: Ten Elements of Biblical Womanhood." You can order it HERE if you would like to follow along. Some of the chapters include: Discernment, Affection, Discipline, Virtue, Disposition, and Beauty. It will be an encouraging and convicting study. Please join us!

Photo by Ryan Orion
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