Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Teenagers Building Their Lives Upon the Sand


What advice would you give to teenage girls? There was a twitter campaign about giving advice to teenage girls and someone twitted,  "You don't have to grow up to be a mom or a wife if you don't want to." I think it should be, "You can grow up to be a mom or wife if you want to," since most teenagers don't hear this message! By far the majority of teenage girls would NEVER say that they want to grow up to be "just" a wife and mother since these roles are no longer valued in our society.

Do you know many places at all that are teaching young women that they can grow up to be a wife and mother? Even among Christian circles this is not taught. No, they are taught that they can be anything they desire, which rarely includes being a wife and mother. Why would young women want to be wives and mothers when there are so few good examples of them? Broken homes and working out of the home full-time are the examples many of them are being given. Media and Universities teach women to spread their wings and make something of their lives, which, of course, doesn't include being a wife and mother.

These roles are so devalued today that it is tragic. They are the most valuable roles on this planet. This is where families are born and raised; where the future generations come from. Don't they realize this? 

Another woman tweeted this, "Being a feminist doesn't mean you're a guy-hater or don't like pretty things. It means your eyes are open to the humanity of all." This is completely false. They aren't opened to allowing all unborn babies to live. Their eyes aren't opened to all the children who are growing up in broken families and are latch-key kids. Their eyes aren't opened to all the young children being put into childcare and being raised without a mother full-time. The only thing their eyes are supposedly open to is women being able to leave their homes and having careers.

Another tweet, "You can be angry. You don't need to calm down. You are not hysterical. You can feel your feelings." That's right, young women, just give into your emotions and feelings and don't care about others who you hurt in the process. You don't need to learn self-control, kindness, and giving yourselves away for only in doing these things will you find true joy.

The last tweet I'll mention, "Boys and men will be uncomfortable when you talk about your experiences with sexism. Make them deal with it." I have no idea what she's talking about her, do you?

These young women will never find true joy until they find who they are in Christ. Their true value only comes from Him. This world offers emptiness and no lasting satisfaction. The advice being given to them leads to emptiness. They won't find fulfillment in an education, career, or even being a wife and mother. They will only find it in Christ "In Christ alone our hope is found. He is my light, my strength, my song..." No matter how much they try to build each other up with this world's wisdom, it won't work. It is just lies and deceit. They are building their lives upon the sand.

Teach your teenage daughter to build their lives upon the Rock. He is the ONLY solid ground in this temporary, unstable world.

Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, 
and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, 
which built his house upon a rock.
Matthew 7:24

Comments (23)

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That last tweet "Boys and men will be uncomfortable when you talk about your experiences with sexism. Make them deal with it" ironically was itself sexist. My husband is in no way uncomfortable when women speak of sexism. He may or may not agree with some of their assertions but it is a rare subject that would make him uncomfortable.

I was wondering what your opinion was concerning teaching my own daughter about working out of the home. She sees examples in that one of her grandmother's works outside the home and the other did before her retirement (but still openly talks about it). She hears on a learning program we use that she can hold different types of occupations (none of it a mother or wife). I of course tell her that a mother and wife are wonderful occupations. Should I steer her into completely staying away from other occupations or should I help her figure out a way to do them from home?
3 replies · active 502 weeks ago
I wasn't too concerned with whatever my daughters wanted to pursue but neither of them wanted to pursue a career that would prevent them from being a full-time wife and mother someday. Therefore, it's best to teach your daughters that they can go to college and have careers as long as they don't end up with a lot of debt and so much education that they don't want to give up their career when their babies begin coming. Also, I am completely opposed to liberal universities and what they teach. My daughters always valued being a wife and mother since I valued these roles so much!
I believe that our girls should pursue their interest and we have tried to channel them through homeschooling into things that they could one day do from home should they need/want to. We haven't interfered in their final choices - although one daughter is still only 16. Our elder daughter wants to write and live by her pen and is due to be married in 38 days! I would encourage your daughters to find occupations that are fulfilling to them but have the at home opportunity. But ultimately they need to carve their own way through life.
Thank you Wendy for sharing this.
Thanks so much Lori for pursuing God enough to pass down Biblical wisdom.
1 reply · active 502 weeks ago
You're welcome! I love passing down Biblical wisdom.
What is your thoughts on a daughter working in college to help pay the bills,
1 reply · active 502 weeks ago
I think it's fine. My best friend worked to pay her bills through college. It was a Christian college which was very affordable back then. As soon as she had children, she was home full-time. I don't recall her ever having a career.
Spot on, Lori. My girls, now married and working outside the home four years and two years, feel their "ultimate promotion" is to "go home and raise my children." It doesn't get wiser than that, especially when their godly husbands are behind them 110%. I am grateful to God it was I who taught my daughters that!

Hugs,
Kelley
Letters Unfolded
1 reply · active 502 weeks ago
It's wonderful that your sons-in-law want your daughters to come home, Kelley! Too many men want their wives to work.
I am thankful that my daughter, who got a cosmetology license, has decided not to work outside the home when she has children. She got married in May and they have been trying for a baby since then. She is working a part-time job in a clothing store just for something to do until she is blessed with a baby, but only part-time so that she still has time to take care of her hardworking husband and home. I am thankful that her husband agrees with her decision to be a wife and mom. We taught them that she should NEVER base their monthly budget on anything but his income so that when they decided it was time for her to come home that they wouldn't have to make any financial adjustments. Her money is just for savings and a little fun as a couple before a baby comes. We can't wait!
1 reply · active 502 weeks ago
You raised her in the ways of the Lord, Nicole. Bless you!
Existing on Empty's avatar

Existing on Empty · 502 weeks ago

I have looked for fulfillment in faith, even before I ruined my husband. Yet, I still feel empty and unfulfilled, despite still praying, which I've evaded doing because it seems ineffective. I'm going to teach my children to have their own source of iincome in case their spouses force them off the joint account as punishment and despite things getting better, still hasn't relinquished total control. I thought about getting a job, even with my horrible record, but got a surprise pregnancy. If only I could find a work-at-home job, I would take it. I can't even take classes at the local college because none are in the morning while kids are in school. Unlike my husband, I can't just go when I want. Also, if I want to express my feelings, I'm going to give into my feelings. Why hide behind them and pretend everything is fine? Why be ddishonest?
1 reply · active 502 weeks ago
If your husband isn't remarried, I would suggest you try to win him back to you and your family. I just wrote a post for another blog on this topic here ~ http://crystalandcomp.com/repairing-a-marriage-af...

I encourage you to find a solid Bible teaching church and getting involved in it for support. As for women getting careers "in case" I would encourage you to teach your daughters to marry strong, godly men who work hard and want to provide for them and their families. I would not have married a man who wanted me to work outside of the home when I had children and never wanted me home full-time.

Feelings should never control us. The words we speak have power. Our emotions and feelings come from our thoughts and this is why God commands we dwell on the lovely and the good. A fruit of the Spirit is self-control. Having temper tantrums is not showing self-control and is always destructive to relationships.

Lastly, I do encourage you to read Debi Pearl's book Created to be His Help Meet if you are serious about getting your life in order. A life away from God will never be good since He not the author of confusion but the Author of contentment and peace.
My advice would be not to waste time. The teen years can be wonderful chance to read, learn, and create...Before the stresses of adulthood. My mother gave me financial advice books to read as a teen. It is better understand finances as much as possible before you have bills, debt, major purchases to make, credit scores, etc... Teen years are also I good time develop good habits; eating right, exercise, time management, etc... In my late teens I started a collection of recipes I liked, I worked hard on notebook but sadly I didn't keep up with it.
1 reply · active 502 weeks ago
Yes, no years should be wasted in this life, including the teen years. They can be productive years that a solid future can be built upon.
My elder daughter found this a good book to read in her last year being homeschooled as she was looking to the college or not question http://www.amazon.com/More-Wasted-Years-Rethinkin...
1 reply · active 502 weeks ago
Thank you for the link, Wendy. I will check it out!
Wow, those statements were sad and scary. Satan knows if he can get the mother away from the home and family, or convince women to not have a family at all, he can win.
1 reply · active 502 weeks ago
You're right, Tiffany, and unfortunately way too many are listening to his lies. Keep speaking Truth to your children.
Thank you for another great post, Lori. That tweet about anger is so completely false. It pains me to remember how my words hurt people closet to me, including my husband, before I learned to control my feelings. We all have feelings, but our words are extremely powerful and weather we like it or not, we need to be responsible about handling them the way God wants us to. I often repeat scripture verses to myself regarding anger, including not to sin in my anger, and how gentle words turn away wrath, and not to let the sun go down upon it. God's help has truly transformed that part of my life and I'll always be grateful. I now have joy and peace beyond my understanding. My husband has also been wonderful helping me see things more realistically. I confessed to him that I've actually been jealous of how calm and patient he is, because that is something that's been difficult for me to master. He just hugged me and said it was me who really made him learn patience during my moody days. Ouch! Never again do I want to be like that. But he wants me to move past it now as he has forgiven me.
1 reply · active 502 weeks ago
Have your husband help you in this area, Katie! Ken and I help each other and hold each other accountable in all areas that we struggle with. We don't want to walk in the flesh at all anymore but in the Spirit!
The tweet about sexism... it might be about the harassment many young women receive from men... unwanted attention. Most women I know have been pursued by men lomg after they let the man know they weren't interested, or received unwanted advances just walking down thestreet. Im not talking about "Pardon me ma'am, I jist had to tell you I think youre beautiful." Im talking about inappropriate comments about theri looks, or anatomy. Its really common. Look up the hashtag: #YesEveryWoman

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