Christian or not, the sad fact remains that it is the culture that is at the root of the problem. American women WANT divorce—whether they admit or not; whether they spout religious-sounding platitudes about it or not. The divorce rate speaks for itself.
Like you rightly pointed out on another post: our culture does NOT teach women to value men. At best, they only see us as ‘sperm donors’ and ‘bill payers’; and resent us for needing us for even that little. Men are utterly expendable in this culture and women feel ashamed of responsible men and turn to pursuing dead weight males who make them feel superior.
This was a comment left by a man on another man's blog. This blog is written by a man from the perspective of a husband dealing with a feminist culture, even within the church. He feels that most women will use any excuse to get a divorce ~
Pornography {even if the wife is denying him sex}
Emotional abuse {This can be used to cover a wide range of reasons to divorce.}
Not helping with the home and children enough
Working too hard
The wife isn't "happy."
You get the picture. He said the divorce rate is 38% among Christians and that is way too high. Christians should weather the storms together. The ones who have come out of them usually have a stronger marriage.
He states that most marriages today are initiated by women. I am not surprised. Women expect a lot more in marriage. They want a Prince Charming who makes them happy and can read their minds. I know, I felt this way for many years and was very unhappy being married.
He also writes that most women want a divorce so they can marry someone else. He thinks this is women's path of promiscuity, sanctioned by the church. Sad, sad state of affairs.
Most men will rise to the occasion. If he is being loved and respected, he will usually become a leader with confidence and lead his family well.
Let marriage be held in honor by all, and the bed undefiled.
Hebrews 13:4
Logging you in...
Emily · 695 weeks ago
Joluise · 695 weeks ago
Danielle · 695 weeks ago
Same w/emotional abuse sorry but NO woman deserves ANY form of abuse. it sickens me that people think they should endure it because they are a Christian.
WEA · 695 weeks ago
jbeane6 36p · 695 weeks ago
Allison · 695 weeks ago
PJB · 695 weeks ago
However, I think one of the most unrealistic views of marriage is the idea that a person (male or female) can bring sin into a marriage without killing it. Sin kills things. It ruins and destroys things. It twists and deforms things.
Sexual immorality, abuse, disobedience to God, practical neglect, and emotional disregard are all sins... or at least they fall short of Christian behaviour as expressed in the Bible.
Therefore, we should not be surprised when a marriage that involves these things dies... that's what sin does! That's what sin is! and neither should we be surprised if the person being sinned against takes more notice of the effects of the sin than the person doing the sinning.
It's tough being a sinner married to a sinner. Many people fall short. That doesn't mean they wanted it.
...
I also think it is unlikely that 50% of the entire population (Christian or not) are just sitting there, probably able to rise to the occasion to become excellent leaders if only women would what... behave deferentially towards them? That just doesn't make sense to me. It seems to me that excellent leadership isn't likely to grow on every tree.
Jenny · 695 weeks ago
I disagree with the reply that said Christians are "just people"... We are more than conquerors in Christ. We are set apart. There is a resource available to us that other "people" are blind to. Of course we can fall victim to marital strife, but Jesus is there to guide us through if we'll just listen to the lessons the world has taught us to reject.
Michelle · 695 weeks ago
Erica · 695 weeks ago
I had a checklist with all of those items on an excuse to get a divorce....sad story. But God has another plan!!!! :)
Ken · 695 weeks ago
Sure sin destroys things, but God can take what was intended as evil and turn it into true bonding and intimacy in a marriage when the godly spouse is willing to live out His Word and His ways. Yes, it is hard to live with a man who is difficult, or into pornography, but that does not absolve the offended and harmed spouse from maintaining the bonds of marriage.
The scriptures are clear that only adultery is grounds for divorce, and it is referring to the actual physical act, not emotional or mental adultery. So yes, a marriage dies because of sin, but it is often the unfaithfulness of both parties that finally kills it.
Is there just one spouse of the two who will stand for God even through difficult times in the marriage and claim God's promises? This is Lori's message to women..., to do God's ways, even in trying times. Because God honors those who honor Him, and a double honor is due to those of you wives who stick with your man not because he deserves it, but because Jesus is honored by your selfless sacrifices to keep the bonds of your God ordained marriage together.
CAK · 695 weeks ago
PJB · 695 weeks ago
It is CERTAINLY not clear whether the Scriptures include the 'adultery' of lust (as defined by Jesus) in the adultery (sexual immorality) which is grounds for divorce. It is folly to assign clarity where none exists.
There is certainly a place for tenacious faithfulness in difficult marriages. I don't want to seem like I am arguing against that. I'm simply arguing that tenacious faithfulness can involve a variety of strategies -- strategies that sweetness and deferential treatment may be fine, and could be effective. Other godly strategies may include self respect, good boundaries, and protective measures. The Bible does not forbid these strategies. In fact, in some cases (ongoing unrepentant sin) a strategy involving distancing one's self from that person is a clear commandment. "God's way" includes these possibilities. "Standing for God" includes these strategies. "Honoring God" includes these strategies.
There is no one way to address a difficult marriage. My ideas are not 'one way' that I think is right all the time... I'm simply acknowledging the variety of good and godly ways in which it is possible to face trying times in a marriage by representing the possibilities I found to be under-represented in the article.
Ken · 695 weeks ago
That being said, I think that separation may be an appropriate strategy, but rarely, except in the case of abuse. I would point out that separating from an unrepentant sinner is referring to those who say they are believers, yet living in sin, not unbelievers. That is not to say that a wife cannot separate from her unbelieving spouse, but Paul strongly discourages this and says it is adultery to divorce him and many another.
You have read too much into the scriptures to assume that a wife may separate from a spouse based on the Pauline passage concerning separating from unrepentant sinners. The much stronger weight of the scriptures is to stick with your spouse, sin or no sin. You married him or her... "and let no man separate them." That is why it is called the "bonds" of marriage.
And I am not reading too much into the scriptures to know that mental and emotional adultery is not grounds for divorce. I take the Bible for what it actually says, and Jesus is definitively referring to the physical act. If one wants to start splitting those hairs, there is not basis for our discussion. The Bible is a very clear book if one allows it to speak plainly and not read things into it that are not said.
empathologicalism · 683 weeks ago
Wow, another how to fix men blog
Yawn
PJB · 695 weeks ago
There aren't just passages that 'outweigh' other passages. There is no 'primary' or 'most effective' strategy stated or implied in the New Testament. The Bible says what it says -- and it says more than one thing. Then it is translated. Then it is interpreted. Then it is communicated. Then there are people's personal preferences. Then there are the real situations, the real people in them and the very real Holy Spirit who walks through those situations with those people.
To a degree, you are right: I am set on making sure there is some sort of rebuttal to the occasional times when Lori's approach becomes a touch one-sided. I think it's important to have conversations about these things. That's why blogs have comments -- so that when the author's perspective doesn't resonate with 'everybody' there might be room to learn something new from another perspective.
AJK · 695 weeks ago