Always Learning: Keep Earning His Love

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Keep Earning His Love

How many people just let themselves go {physically, emotionally, and mentally} after they get married??? Way too many. I don't think that is right at all. When you are trying to win your future husband or wife, you are on your best behavior. You prove that you have the ability to dress good, smell good, and act very good. You CAN do it.

Once you get married, you need to continue to dress good, smell good, and act very good. I use to think that because Ken married me, I could act any way I wanted to and it was real ugly. I thought because he was a strong Christian man he would stay with me no matter how I acted. This is very bad thinking.

A lot of women lose their husbands with this thinking. I was very fortunate that Ken stayed with me. He never wanted to live apart from his children. He always wanted to be a father to them even if there was no romance in our marriage. Isn't that sad, yet how many couples do you know that are the same way?

Keeping your love alive in your marriage needs to be much more important. Keeping someone loving you takes work. You can't expect others to love you when you act poorly just because you're you. They won't. You need to earn other's love and that includes your spouse's love.

So don't let yourself go once you get married. Keep working out. Keep looking good, especially now that someone gets to see you naked all the time! Smell good. Act good. Be kind, gentle, forgiving, and loving. I Corinthians is all about love. For some reason, most of us forgot that this relates to loving our spouses also. Love your spouse. Keep loving your spouse.

Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

I Corinthians 13:4,7

Comments (16)

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Megan 36p · 677 weeks ago

I have fallen into that category of women who don't care as much once they get married. My husband deserves better...he deserves me at my best. Thank you for sharing this :)

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Susan · 676 weeks ago

Thank you, I really needed to hear that. I have been married 26 years and didn't let myself go until about 12 years ago. The thing is the young girls need to know that it's much harder to get yourself back into shape than it is to keep yourself in shape and healthy!

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Louisa · 676 weeks ago

Thank you for this post, I have been convicted of this more than once. Living on a farm with a very limited income it can be hard to stay "looking good", often practicality has to come first, but I will often take more care if we have visitors or we go to town. And I will often get convicted that why are other people more important than my husband.

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robynssimplelife 2p · 676 weeks ago

What a great post and I agree! I have never been one to let myself go.. I think because my mom was the same way.. Everyday she made sure she looked nice, put together and acted the same way.. If she was going out or staying home.. and now that I am much older I am the same as she was.. Thanks for the wonderful post!

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Deanna · 676 weeks ago

Great post! Thanks for your honesty. It is very important to keep your husband's interest!

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Melanie · 676 weeks ago

So so true and a great lesson to be reminded of! Thank you for linking up at Reasons To Skip The Housework!

Smiles,
Melanie

Reasons To Skip The Housework {The Blog}
Tinker B Boutique {The Shop}

{azparis@me.com}

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Kasondra Morin · 676 weeks ago

My HUSBAND reminded me of this about a year ago. I was getting ready one day and didn't care about what I chose to wear and muttered "Who am I trying to impress?' He happened to be standing there and he, lovingly, said "Me." It was a HUGE moment for me.

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Jenny · 676 weeks ago

Amen! Trying to be pretty for my husband is a way I show him that I care, and still want him to want me. :)

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Anne · 676 weeks ago

Lori, you and I could not be more different when it comes to out opinions on some matters, but when it comes to relationships between men and women, I think you hit the nail on the head. It seems to me that the crux of your message is, when you are tempted to get angry, nag, get jealous or do something else selfish, instead be loving, kind and positive toward your spouse. I am not even married, but I feel like my relationship with my boyfriend is thriving because I try to behave in a way I know you would recommend (when applicable - boyfriends aren't the same as husbands in many ways!). Its kind of like, what would Lori say?

Anyway, thanks. Your advice isn't always "politically correct," but its right on target. I for one appreciate you taking time our of your day to write to complete strangers and share your wisdom - there are those of us out here putting it to good use!

1 reply · active 676 weeks ago

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Lori Alexander 122p · 676 weeks ago

Thanks, Anne! "Not getting angry, nag, get jealous or do something selfish, instead be loving, kind, and positive" works for ALL relationships. Keep up the good work!

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denise · 676 weeks ago

Such an honest post, bless you.

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Christina · 676 weeks ago

Hello Lori, this is my first time here and I must say your post is very true and I agree wholeheartedly. Though I'm single I hope that I never get to the point where I just don't care about how I dress. I love the artsy bohemian look by the way (which can sometimes look bedraggled) but hey even if it's just for yourself and for your friends, not just a spouse, it's fun to look good and be good! :)

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shanda oakley · 676 weeks ago

I was on a panel speaking to young mothers last year and one of the other panelist said, "Before I got married someone told me to always dress up and put makeup on before your husband comes home, no matter how hard your day." She always did it. I wish i had had that advice!

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Nicole · 676 weeks ago

What a wonderful reminder. We need to keep wooing our husbands- he deserves it! -Nicole at Working Kansas Homemaker

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katherinescorner1 63p · 675 weeks ago

thank you for linking up to the Thursday hop. Sorry I'm behind in saying thank you. My recent post will explain my delay.Hope to see you again this Thursday. xo

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Beth · 662 weeks ago

Love isn't earned. We don't earn love from God. And babies don't earn love. I think the word you mean here is attraction. Which is VERY important. Thank you for this post. It just throws up a few red flags for my truth meter. I do feel like you are trying to make a great point about feeling and being attractive and impressing our husbands and putting him on a pedestal of worthiness - because he is worthy!! I just think that's not the type of love that endures forever. That is conditional.

People '"fall out of love" all the time. But deciding to GIVE love on that day is actually love.

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