Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Proverbs 31 Woman's Workplace


Several women have commented to me or stated that the Proverbs 31 woman worked outside of her home.  I have a hard time finding that in Proverbs 31. 

It states that she bought a field so she could garden ~

She considers a field and buys it;  From her earnings she plants a vineyard. {verse 16}

She sews clothing and belts and sells some  ~

She makes linen garments and sells them,  And supplies belts to the tradesmen.  {verse 24}

She goes shopping for her food and even goes far to find it ~

She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar.  {verse 14}

Her main goal in all of this is...She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.  {verse 27}

Nowhere in Scripture can you find where women are told to leave their homes for long periods of time and drop their children off with others to watch.  She is admonished to guide her home, be a keeper at home, and train up her children in the way they should go.  No one does this better than a mother.

I believe it is fine for women to find ways to make money from home to supplement their husband's salary.  They can make things, babysit, whatever.  With computers, the options are endless, but her main focus needs to be upon her home and taking care of it, her husband and children.  Nothing is more valuable than a happy home.

Did you know that most women don't even cook these days???  I know of some men who have married women who never cook.  There is nothing like good, healthy home cooking. 

Having a clean home is important also.  Everyone enjoys a clean and tidy home.  Husbands need lots of love and attention.  Children need it also.  All of this takes time and a lot of work regardless what Hilary Rosen, the Democratic spokesperson and strategist believes!  {She said that Ann Romney had "never worked a day in her life!"  She did raise five sons and hold a marriage together.  That, my friends, takes work.}

Years ago, I was asked to teach women on being wives and mothers.  I was instructed NOT to mention being keepers at home...This was in a church!  Well, I decided I was going to teach God's Word, whether society agreed with me or not.  The longer I live, the more I see how wise God was in His instructions to us.  God is our provider and rewards those who earnestly seek Him and His ways.

So men, when looking for a wife, look for one that aspires to be a Proverbs 31 wife and women, aspire to become a Proverbs 31 wife and wait patiently for a husband that wants one!

Comments (30)

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The reason why you don't find her working in an office is because they didn't have them in those times, most people worked in cottage industries and did until quite recently. The fact that she plants a vineyard is no different to being a farmer (as per my dad) - hard work would have been involved. Likewise the selling of garments - this woman did work and work very hard - not only as keeper of her home, but also in a number of cottage industries. Equate that to modern day - she was one working lady just as I am. I can't run a cottage industry from my home, so I have to leave it. As our Proverbs 31 lady was wealthy and had servants, I would assume they also were involved in the caring of her children as staff have been throughout the centuries. There is nothing in the Bible that says women cannot work - I see myself as the Keep of the Home, wife and mother and someone who works outside the home. And I praise the Lord for the job He has placed me in, as it is flexible and meets my families needs.

PS I cook all my food from scratch (and taught my sons to as well), just like all the other working men and women I work with. We also live in really clean homes and are highly organised. I just wish I could show women my home so you could see for yourself. I find these comments very hurtful and show a lack of understanding about working women. I don't attach SAHM's, so please don't assume we all live in a mess.
3 replies · active 674 weeks ago
I have always been a little late to the party! I worked until I was 46 (I got married at 25). I quit when my daughter was about to enter kindergarten and I was overwhelmed at the thought of not being a part of her school life and juggling work, homework etc. I think the sudden strong desire to stay home was the Holy Spirit nudging me. Besides, my husband had insisted we pay off our house so there was really one less reason for me to work outside the home. I worked for the last company for 18 years so my social circle was full of women whose children went to daycare in the early years. Once I gave my notice things changed drastically! My daughter went to her little school for kindergarten and I was there nearly all day and involved in the Mom's Spiritual Life Team at her school. During the following summer I fell tragically ill and had a ruptured colon and complications from diverticulitis. Long story short, things really changed fast and by the time she was in 2nd grade I was homeschooling and together with her 24/7! My thoughts are this...I was obedient to stay home and God restored to us all the time we missed out on while I was working. Of course if I had it to do again, I would have quit when she was born...better late than never. She is 12 years old and loves having her mom with her. I also prayed for godly women friends when I quit because the only friend I had who didn't work was my mom. When I woke up after my colostomy surgery I just remember thinking it's raining godly women! Nearly the entire women's ministry at my new church was at my bedside, taking care of me and loving me. I have never been the same!
I agree with everything you said- and I am a working mom. I must work because my husband is disabled. I work with low-income children and I only have to work about 8 1/2 months a year with all the same days off as my children. I cook, I clean, I care for my children and husband. I am actually related to a stay at home mom who doesn't know how to cook... it has nothing to do with job status. We need to lift each other up, employed outside the home or working hard inside the home full-time. God bless you!
I am so thankful that my mother never worked. It was so nice coming home from school and find her there. I stayed home and now all of my daughters do too. It's strange - people decided that they needed double incomes and now they can't even live on double incomes. Children who have a parent at home are indeed very fortunate children. Incidentally, I come from a family of 7 children and my father didn't make a lot of money. My parents had a large vegetable garden and my mother was so creative at revamping and recreating. My mom was a great keeper of our home!
1 reply · active 674 weeks ago
I am a homemaker, but I also work from home doing freelance writing and editing. My family and home have always remained my first priority. I am, however, sensitive to the lifestyles of other families and mothers. Some choose to work, some HAVE to work. I am not here to judge them for doing what they feel is best for their families.

I made the decision to stay at home when my Husband and I got married. We both agreed that it would be best for me to take care of our three month old (at the time) and the home. I have no desire to work outside of the home as I feel very comfortable in my situation. But, I will not judge others who think or chose to do differently.
I agree with what you said and am a SAHM. I also see the other side of the story. Growing up, my dad left my mom and I. My mother was a registered nurse and had to work full-time so she could provide a good life for the two of us. My nana stayed home with me while my mom worked. My mom also came home and took care of all of the household chores and our home was always nice and clean. She cooked dinner almost every night. She worked long hours and then came home and worked long hours. She wanted more than anything for me to stay home with my babies once they were born and, fortunately, I have been able to do so. I LOVE staying home with our children and trust me, we could live in a MUCH larger home and drive MUCH nicer cars if I wanted to work outside the home, but I don't. I am willing to sacrifice those things to be able to stay home. I worked hard before my children were born just like my mom did and I work hard now staying at home. Taking care of your family, no matter which way you have to do so, is taking care of your family. Not every mother is able to stay at home...that doesn't make her bad or wrong if she has to work outside of her home to support her family. I would work outside of my home, too, before I let my family go without! I hope I am making God proud of my work at home and I'm sure my mother made him proud for doing what she had to do to take care of her family...even if it was outside of our home.
I think there is a lot to be said for mothers who can do both jobs beautifully and without complaint. It sets a strong work ethic for their children. My mother stayed at home full time until I was about 10 and then started going to college full time to become a teacher. She worked her rear end off to graduate college with a 4.0 at the age of 45 WHILE maintaing a clean home, home cooked meals on the table and wonderful involvment with her children and husband. She started working as a teacher when I was in high school. We all really admired her hard work and dedication to self improvement and my father was probably the most proud of all. She set a high standard for her daughters to live up to :) Thank goodness for that...I am now a mostly stay at home mom who works evenings outside of the home to make ends meet and I had the best role model to teach me that you don't have to exchange one for other. Women are wonderful multi-taskers and can acheive a lot if they put their mind to doing both tasks well!
2 replies · active 674 weeks ago
Excellent post. For me, making my home a haven for my husband and a place of joy for my family is the center of "keeping my home" and I love it!

Thanks for sharing this. Found you through Encourage One Another link-up.
Love this post! I'm getting very excited, because my husband and I have decided to take a leap of faith, and I'll be quitting my job after my 3rd comes in 8-12 weeks. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared about money or the future (as my husband has not made any income from our new business so far), but I'm thrilled about staying home with my kiddos!

We both felt like God was pulling us in this direction. This has been my hearts desire since I was a little girl and a wise lady talked to us and said that God often shows his will for our lives through our desires that are true and Godly... and staying home definitely is. She said sometimes we don’t allow God to show us the amazing plans he has for our lives because we have a lack a faith and take control of our own lives, instead of allowing him to have full control.

Then, we read about Abraham and the amazing faith he had to follow God and move his entire family without knowing where he was going. We both then knew that God was asking us to do this.
cont..

After the two kids we have now I took the full 12 weeks off work that I could. My husband LOVED me being at home. Our house was always clean, dinners were planned out and ready for him when he got home, we could focus on family time when he got home instead of frantically trying to share all the cleaning and cooking duties. He didn’t have to worry about the kids receiving the best possible care, and I became a much more lovable person who had more time for him (since I wasn’t stressed about the piles of laundry or a dirty house that I can not maintain while working 40+ hours).

I still have days and moments when I doubt that God will provide for us once I’m home, but then I realize that we are living in His will and we have nothing to fear. Like you mentioned about the Proverbs 31 woman, I am going to be watching a friends kid starting in the fall and teaching birthing classes one evening a week when my husband can be with the kids to bring in some income.
1 reply · active 674 weeks ago
I love this post! I agree with every word you said. I don't shun working women. I know that there are truly SOME instances where the woman HAS to work (disabled spouse, single mother, etc.). However, many women who work do it because they are chasing after things of this world (nice house, new cars, fancy purses, etc.) and not because they really "have to". Some do it because the world has taught them there is some kind of valor or nobility in being a part of the corportate jungle. Some do it for their own selfishness. For our family, I work because we made poor choices and lived beyond our means. Well...not initially, we were within our means but an income change quickly changed the situation and we found or income was less than our bills. If we had been good stewards and cautious with our money, this would have never happened. Now, we are looking for a much cheaper home, and paying off as much of our debt as possible so that I may return home, where I belong.
(cont)
I don't believe it is slamming working Moms to speak of the Proverbs 31 woman and the true basis behind it. I also don't believe it is saying all Mom's live in a "mess" because they work outside of the home. I think what it is saying is that not only are the affairs of the home attended to physically, but also that she is there emotionally. She is not stressed out or otherwise engaged mentally (or physically unavailable) to where her family must go elsewhere for things that God created the woman for.

I just blogged on the subject of feminism last night, and believe this fits what I was saying in that blog.
I think the subject of whether it's best to work or stay at home is like the subject or whether breast or bottle feeding is best for a baby. Anyone in their right mind knows that breastfeeding is always ideal for a baby. However, some women are physically unable, don't know how, or don't want to breastfeed. So the babies get formula and guess what? 99% of the time they still grow, love their mommies, and have no lasting damage from being bottle fed. But it's still for the best to teach women how to breastfeed and that it provides the best nutrition.
I think it's the same way with having a sahm or working mom.....it's always best for the child to have mother in the home. However, some moms can't or choose not to stay home. And child will probably grow up okay. But there are still many benefits to having an at-home mom, and it's still best to teach women how to do that and why it's a good idea.
I recently wrote a blog post entitled "I Am a Proverbs 31 Woman - And I Have a Full Time Career" and yes...it was inspired by this blog. I sure my comments on a previous post as well as some others with similar feelings might have inspired this post. I love a good conversation, so I'm back. =)

Here are a few things that I pointed out in my post (for those who don't want to read it) - she (the woman in Prov 31) obviously was a business woman - and yes, it was from home. That's because it was (and still is in many parts of the world) socially unacceptable for her to be formally educated or work outside the home. I don't know that the writer of Proverbs 31 was praising her ability to work at home or her ability to provide for her family and keep her household running. I personally read it as the latter of those two.

I also find where there are many successful women in the Bible who were working women: Lydia was a seller of fine purple cloth and made enough money to house Paul (Acts 16:14-15); Deborah was a judge and a military leader; Phebe was travelling to Rome on business (Romans 16:1-2); Ruth works in the field to help Naomi, just to name a few.

And to your point - you're right that there is nothing in the Bible that indicates that women should leave the house to work. However, can you point me to a verse in the Bible that indicates that men need to leave the home to provide for their families? I mean, if women are supposed to stay at home to manage their households (which discounts those of us who leave for work AND manage our households), I guess logically you would draw the conclusion that men would have to leave the house to provide, although that is not the case today. There are a lot of general day-to-day activities (which might have included having someone watch your children for a while) that the Bible does not address. It's all-emcompassing for what we need for Salvation, not for every miniscule part of our days.

So while I think it is awesome that some women can and do stay at home to raise their children and take care of their homes exclusively, I don't dare discount those who do not - whether by choice or by necessity. I think there is definitely a difference in how I run my household and those moms who are eternally absent and have a stand in nanny to raise their children because they don't see the importance in being a mom.

I personally think that Proverbs 31 has caused more of a rift between Christian women than scripture was ever intended to do.
7 replies · active 674 weeks ago
Hi! This is my first visit to your blog and I'm encouraged---thanks!
I think there's more to the Proverbs 31 woman than people initially realize when just reading the passage. I've incidentally been reading a new book by Dr. Tony Evans and his daughter, Chrystal Evans Hurst called "Kingdom Woman" that has given me new insights. Right off the bat they talk about the Proverbs 31 woman being the hallmark of kingdom women, "But the Proverbs 31 woman is not the model of a perfect woman. Neither is a kingdom woman called to perfection. Women, you can be a Proverbs 31 woman and more - but that doesn't mean you do it all at the same time." They talk about life flowing through seasons and about getting help, not trying to do it
all. It's really eye-opening. If you're interested in Dr. Evan's book, they have information and even free devotional downloads at kingdomwomanbook.com. I hope it blesses you as it has blessed me.

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