Always Learning: Protect Your Precious Sons!

Friday, April 20, 2012

Protect Your Precious Sons!

One in fifty four boys are diagnosed with autism. This is not good! My son, Ryan, probably would have been diagnosed with ADD or autism if he had been tested. In sixth grade, he got a few D's and an F on his report card. The teacher would keep him in for recess because he was staring at the ceiling when he was suppose to be looking at the chalkboard and listening.

Boys weren't made to sit in a classroom for hours a day. When Steven was in ninth grade, I taught his class of boys for a month. One day I was teaching them about exercise and had them run around the school once. They LOVED it! In ninth grade!

I started homeschooling Ryan in seventh grade. I felt like sending him to junior high would be like sending him off a cliff into failure. I had him read a lot and do math. That was it. We sent him to a Christian high school and he did great. He graduated from a Christian college with a degree in Biology. Today, he is a husband, father, and working for Ken. His clients love him.

Ritalin is not the answer. It messes up the brain. Boys need to be given a lot of time playing in the fresh air, getting lots of vitamin D, and exercise. They need to be given a lot of healthy food and no drugs, including all the immunizations and antibiotics that children are being loaded up with today.

Boys are not girls! Don't listen to society. Today's classroom is geared towards girls. Girls can sit for hours studying and listening. Boys can't. Don't buy into the lies of society that your little boys need to be medicated if they can't sit still for hours a day. Don't let them medicate your boys so they will act like girls. Protect your boys. Protect the men of our future. Please!

Let no man despise your youth; but be an example of the believers,
in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

I Timothy 4:12

Comments (33)

Logging you in...

Dashboard | Edit profile | Logout

Logged in as

0 Vote up Vote down

Holly · 675 weeks ago

My son does have Autism- he is almost four. I refuse to let them medicate my son. He needs to learn to correct the behaviors and to cope with them, not mask the symptoms with medication. Believe me, he is all boy. He runs around and plays all day. We even jump in puddles together. :)

I agree with what you have said. Little boys and boys need to be boys! Generation Cedar did an excellent post on this: http://www.generationcedar.com/main/2012/04/raisi...

0 Vote up Vote down

Julie · 675 weeks ago

Amen!!!! I seriously have to question all the Autism and ADD diagnoses of today. I have two little guys and even at 2 yrs old and 8 months old, I know they need lots of physical activity. I'm not yet sure what route we'll take with regards to their education, but we are mindful that boys are very different from girls.

3 replies · active 675 weeks ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

Lori Alexander 122p · 675 weeks ago

Here is the whole article from Generation Cedar. It is so good and worth the read ~

They were too loud and fidgety so we drugged them.

They were too “rough” so we softened them.

They were too given to leading us so we insulted them.

They were too protective so we started opening our own doors.

And still they simply try to be who we need and want them to be.

Men are rare. Real men allowed to be who God made them. And like almost everything in the universe, we, WOMEN, hold the power to shape and change. We are the ones who have so craftily disassembled the real men. And only we can help build them back and raise a new generation of them.

I want to love my boys, but let them be boys.

I expect a lot from them. I tell them they are leaders, even now, in our family, either modeling character, sacrifice and honor before their siblings, or living an example of self-centeredness and foolishness.

I am glad they are rugged, like to pretend to shoot things and play in the dirt. It serves an important purpose and I don’t want to feminize their tendencies, calling it “learned behavior” that needs to be unlearned in order to be “better managed”.

I want them to give special honor to women, children and the elderly. I want them to live out “my-life-for-yours”.

I want them to have role models like Daniel and Joshua; not Justin Bieber.

I want them to think, even now, about the family they will likely have one day. I want them to be planning, dreaming and making wise decisions now that will find them prepared at the right time.

I want them spending time wisely, preparing in their youth for one woman, not wasting it dabbling in relationships for which they have no business pursuing, wrecking hearts and lives along the way. I want them to pursue purity of mind, body and spirit.

I want them to have vision and I speak to them of such. I want them to have purpose, to connect actions with consequences, to be wise and walk circumspectly. This requires a basic rejection of typical “adolescent” thinking.

I want them to pursue the Lord young, to thirst after righteousness, and so we raise them to love Him, not as “pagans yet to pray a prayer”, but as children “holy” and beloved, members of His covenant of grace, and ever pressing toward the mark of the high calling of Christ Jesus.

Let’s. raise. men.

1 reply · active 674 weeks ago

0 Vote up Vote down

Joluise · 675 weeks ago

I have a son (now 24) who was diagnosed with ADHD, I used diet to help with his bouncing off the walls and kept him away from anything artificial (sugar wasn't the problem - it was the chemicals in the foods). I had to work very hard to get him through school and now he is one hardworking focused young man (in a full time employment) and about to get married. I am very proud of all that he has achieved. I did use medication for a while and it did calm him down, but also clouds their imagination.

I read an interesting book about the origins of the modern school system of sitting in rows and listening/working for hours on end. It isn't geared around girls at all - it was designed by the Germans in the late 1800's as a way of controlling society. It was used to make everyone conform (and for everyone to learn the same material) and it worked very successfully and went some way to explain why the Germans behaved the way they did in WWI and WWII.

1 reply · active 675 weeks ago

0 Vote up Vote down

Nicole · 675 weeks ago

My son, who is 15 and in the 9th grade, was always labeled as ADD and I was advised time and time again that I should have him tested, but I refused (because he could sit for hours and do anything he wanted to do.) I told his teachers that he needed more discipline in their classes and they had permission to do it. No one ever did. He started begging me to homeschool him in 7th grade, so we brought him home for 8th and will homeschool him through high school.

My younger son is 8 years old and in the 2nd grade. He is on the autism spectrum, more a high-functioning Asperger's. We always knew that we would not allow him to stay in public school past 5th grade. We are worried that his creativity and uniqueness is started to get squelched in the public school, so we are bringing him home next year. We were advised when he was a two year old to NEVER have him diagnosed. We were told that since we knew what his delays were, to just deal with them. If he were to stay in public school, he would HAVE to receive a diagnosis of either autism or learning disabled to continue on an IEP. As we do not want him diagnosed (especially by an untrained school psychologist who is just going to make a diagnosis based on interviewing my husband and I), it just confirmed our decision to bring him home next year. (BTW ... we also homeschool our daughter who is a 6 year old).

We just believe in homeschooling our children now as a theory. We love it, it works for our family, and our kids are thriving!

More than anything, I want my kids to have the freedom to be the creative beings they were made to be. I NEVER EVER want their personalities to be squelched because of a governmental system.

0 Vote up Vote down

Lori · 675 weeks ago

We homeschooled our son from 2nd grade. He didn't read until he was 12. If I'd left him in public school he would have been traumatized and thought he was stupid. Instead I read to him, and did all I could to keep him learning till his brain matured enough to be ready to read. He problem? He was a boy. That's all. (I read about this issue, and with LOTS of prayer we trusted). The spring he turned 12 it was as though a switch was turned in his brain and he could read. Within 6 months he had surpassed his peers in his ability to read and write. Today he's married, and has his own business with 2 employees. Sometimes boys mature on their own schedule.

0 Vote up Vote down

scienceteacher · 675 weeks ago

As usual, I agree with what you are saying. If you will indulge me, I have a few thoughts from an educator's perspective. First, a little history- the reason classes are structured the way they are is because public schooling on a large scale was first used to educate individuals for jobs in factories and similar settings where individuals would perform repetitive tasks for hours on end. The idea was that by replicating the need to focus on a task, or stay in one place, for long periods, students would be better prepared for the workforce of that time.
Sadly, this methodology has not changed even though the jobs students prepare for have changed.

With that in mind, I agree with you that boys can't sit still, and often do not do well, physically speaking, in schools that continue to take this approach literally. However, I do not think that the issue only a male one. I have taught many young girls that are just as fidgety and "unfocused" as their male peers. In most instances it is not because they have any sort of learning challenge, it is just that they are young and energetic. Young girls need activity and movement just as much as young boys. I don't feel that it makes a girl less feminine to be energetic, or that it makes them more feminine to be able to sit still and concentrate for long periods of time. In fact, numerous studies have shown that several small "bursts" of activity throughout the day help both male and female students to focus better when they do work on activities requiring concentration or higher order thinking and processing.

All in all, I think that we really need to think about how we treat all students, and realize that activity is an essential part of the day. There is nothing less motivating than thinking about the fact that once you leave your house, you will do nothing but sit in a desk for the next 6-7 hours. Our children have all of adulthood for that! They deserve better while their energy level can support it.

0 Vote up Vote down

Susan · 675 weeks ago

I love reading your posts! I know this post is about boys but my story is similar and maybe will help or encourage others. I have a daughter who has ADD and Dyslexia. She went to a private Christian kindergarten and 1st grade. Kindergarten was great but 1st grade was a nightmare. She just wasn't getting it. I also had some health issues that year that complicated her stress level. I was very blessed that she had a loving and godly 1st grade teacher who recognized it wasn't just stress. She has two children with dyslexia and wanted me to get her tested. We did and much more was revealed as far as cognitive developmental delays. The public schools in our area are horrible and out of the question and the small Christian school she was going to wasn't equipped for special ed. So we made the decision to homeschool. Like you we have focused mainly on reading and math. I have to say she has followed in line with the testing results and done everything about 3 years late. She will be 12 in 3 months and it is like a light switch is going off. I consider her in 5th grade but now reading on 4th grade level and does struggle with it some. She is still only in 2nd grade math but able to master things before we move on. I have times when I am hard on myself because I think maybe I should be pushing her harder but then I hear stories like yours and I am secure in the fact that we are doing our best and going in the right direction.

0 Vote up Vote down

Jamie · 675 weeks ago

As a mama of three boys (and two girls, too), this was fascinating to read. We do homeschool and my oldest boy definitely needs to be moving more than his sisters do. Even though we haven't had to deal with the ADD or autism question, thankfully, thank you for the reminder that they need to have the opportunity throughout the day to move their bodies more!

0 Vote up Vote down

Fran · 674 weeks ago

My mom has been a teacher for the better part of 30 years and this post echoed what she has been saying about how boys learn for as long as I can remember. It does youg boys a disservice to expect them to sit for seven hours a day with very little physical activity for release. My mom would give each of her students assessments to determine whether they were visual, auditory, or kinetic learners. Invariably, boys and young men are primarily kinetic learners and excel when they are physically doing something to learn as opposed to sitting and passively abosorbing. I am impresed by the creativity of teachers and home-school moms who have found ways of incorporating physical activity, or at least a "learn by doing" component into lessons from English to Science to History.

0 Vote up Vote down

Christine · 674 weeks ago

This is an interesting post with interesting comments! I was told all through my son's school years that he was immature for his grade level. True.....but now, 3 months before his 18th birthday, he is the most mature young man I have ever had the pleasure to meet! He is focused and is moving forward with his plans for his future. His elementary school teachers said he was ADHD but his pediatrician blew me off when I mentioned it to him. I didn't pursue it because I didn't plan to medicate him anyway. What I did do was to give him a cup of coffee when he was being especially hyperactive. It worked like a charm. If a child is truly ADHD, the stimulant will help even them out....

0 Vote up Vote down

Rose's Craft Guild · 674 weeks ago

Good for you to have home-schooled your boy! It seemed have worked out very well.

+1 Vote up Vote down

thebusyeducatorsbox 4p · 674 weeks ago

Wonderful and encouraging post!

And that is why we have chosen to educate our 5 boys and 1 Princess at home!

Thanks for sharing!

0 Vote up Vote down

Kate S. · 674 weeks ago

I KNOW my 6 year old would be miserable in public school. He has a friend of the same age (and gender) who does very well in school....even in a strict kindergarten program that has back-to-back 45 minute long lessons with very little recess time. He's just a studious kind of fellow, much like his father. But, the thought of sending my son to such a kindergarten puts knots in my stomach! He's too kinetic. He enjoys work and creativity. He'd rather be outside creating something or helping with a chore. To force him into a different mold would break him. At 6!!!

0 Vote up Vote down

Laurel · 674 weeks ago

this post is just about boys... I'm curious your opinion on professionally diagnosed ADHD girls. I agree there are a lot of mis and over diagnosed mental health and/or neurological conditions and medication is used far too often to help the parent and not the child. BUT that being said, I do believe there is a time and a place for the use of medication with mental health and neurological conditions and I get tired of the Christian community making it seem so "simple" as to how to "cure" it with one or more of the following: more prayer, more faith, homeschool, diet changes, vitamins, herbs, supplements, more discipline... the list goes on.

0 Vote up Vote down

Bethany · 674 weeks ago

I would say that my kids are opposite. My 7 yr old girl is the fidgety one, the one who needs to move around and take frequent breaks from our homeschooling. My 4 yr old boy, however (who we don't do school work with yet), can sit and color or focus on something for an hour to an hour and a half, completely focused. I have yet to find out with baby boy. :) I think it all just depends on the child. That's the great thing about homeschooling - you can tailor the education to the individual needs of your children.

0 Vote up Vote down

Linda · 674 weeks ago

Amen - Amen - Amen! I went through a similar situation years ago. The teachers were getting so frustrated and I was so determined NOT to medicate my son that I also yanked him out of school and homeschooled for awhile. You've got to do what you've got to do in order to be the best advocate for your child. One site that really helped me was this one: http://borntoexplore.org/

I wish I had also known more about the affect of processed and unnatural foods on our children's behavior, because I would have changed our diet many years ago. But - I have no regrets and today he is doing very well! A college student and a volunteer coach for the little kids.

To those who struggle with their boy's behavior (or even their girls!) - hang in there and do what you know is best.

0 Vote up Vote down

Linda · 674 weeks ago

Amen - Amen - Amen! I went through a similar situation years ago. The teachers were getting so frustrated and I was so determined NOT to medicate my son that I also yanked him out of school and homeschooled for awhile. You've got to do what you've got to do in order to be the best advocate for your child. One site that really helped me was this one: http://borntoexplore.org/

0 Vote up Vote down

laurel · 674 weeks ago

I am so in agreement with you. I am sure there is a place for medication, but little boys just aren't meant to sit in a chair and do exactly as an uptight,control freak teacher wants. My son had so much trouble in school, not because he was autistic or ADD...he was just outgoing, charismatic and a leader. And if the teacher "liked" his humor and antics, then he excelled...but if she wanted him to sit primly and be quiet like the little girls, then, guess what...he acted out! I remember telling a teacher one year.."Look, I am not going to beat my kid every night cause you can't figure out a way to make him mind! It's your job...TEACH!"

0 Vote up Vote down

sherilinr · 674 weeks ago

my girl isn't able to sit and study or listen for hours. i think schools in general aren't designed for kids. it's not a gender specific thing.

0 Vote up Vote down

Lea · 674 weeks ago

I agree. I kept my son off of medicine too and he has grown into a fine young teen (even the normal 13 drama :) - I also homeschool - I am glad to connected with so many other moms that are doing the same and I am reading went through the same. It is not just boys, but people that are created as individuals ... the same system does not work for all.

0 Vote up Vote down

Jeanie · 674 weeks ago

This is so true. But I think ALL children need to be allowed to move and be out in the fresh air. Girls need activity as much as boys, some more. I'm almost 60 years old and still hate to sit very long! Doctors tried to put our daughter on ritalin when she was barely a year old. Our whole family eliminated white flour, sugar and processed foods. Soon she didn't need ritalin anymore but she was still very active, even to this day. She is now 37 years old, as healthy as you can imagine, our entire family is prescription free and never sick. Don't let anyone tell you nutrition doesn't make the difference, it does. Vaccines will also destroy your immune system so do everything you can to avoid them.

0 Vote up Vote down

Kristy Smith Howard · 673 weeks ago

Lori, this is SO good! I have two little boys, ages almost 4 and 2 yrs old. Both of them have what is considered "autistic gut", which puts them at a higher risk for autism spectrum disorders. I thank God every day that He has protected our sons and given us tools and resources to search out ways to strengthen their immune systems and help their guts heal.

After homeschooling our two daughters for a few years, I am quickly realizing the vast difference in boys' and girls' learning styles. Thank you SO much for this post, and for sharing your wisdom with younger mothers. Sometimes it's hard to live against the grain of what everyone considers "normal".

0 Vote up Vote down

Amy@NewNostalgia · 673 weeks ago

You are featured at New Nostalgia's Anti-Procrastination Tuesday as one of the "most -clicked-on links!" Thanks so much for linking up!

0 Vote up Vote down

Allison Renee · 673 weeks ago

I agree! I taught in the classroom and saw first hand the effects of medications like that on children. In many cases it made them sick and changed their personalities. I have one that would be diagnosed if he were in school. But, he is home where he can run laps around the backyard every few minutes if he needs to:) Over time we will work on self-control so that he can sit more as he gets older.

Post a new comment

Comment as a Guest, or login:

Share on Facebook

Connected as (Logout)

Email (optional)

Not displayed publicly.

Tweet this comment

Connected as (Logout)

Email (optional)

Not displayed publicly.

Submit Comment

Subscribe to

"Mark them which cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine which you have learned and avoid them." {Romans 16:17} All comments WILL be moderated before being published. Thank you for your patience.

Comments by IntenseDebate

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)