Yes, I am going to harp on this again because I think it is SO important to having a happy marriage. I have been mentoring women for over eight years. Every single young woman I have mentored has improved her marriage.
One of the girls I mentored recently went to a marriage retreat with her husband. They felt like all they heard during the retreat were all the problems in marriage but given no solutions.
Ken and I went to a seminar lately and we heard that marriage is hard and we need to learn how to resolve our arguments. The past eight years haven't been hard and we don't argue anymore.
The missing ingredient in retreats, seminars, most books about marriage, and even in pre-marital counseling is biblical submission. No one believes in it anymore and the church doesn't teach it. However, when I teach my young women what true biblical submission looks like, their marriages improve dramatically.
One woman's husband was having an affair. She started practicing biblical submission and he now goes to church, bible studies, and is telling every one about God. She is not quite sure how to handle this new found husband. She still has hurts that need to be healed but it is truly a miracle.
Another young woman thought about divorcing her husband. They were miserable together. She started practicing biblical submission and they are happy with each other. There is peace in the relationship. She likes allowing him to lead and he likes leading.
When a woman lovingly meets her husband's needs, tries to please him, and finds out what makes him happy, the husband responds by trying to please his woman. Biblical submission draws a man to his wife. God's ways work. I can't say that enough but I have seen it happen over and over again.
GOD'S WAYS WORK!!! Society's and the church's ways aren't working. Just look at the divorce statistics. Let's bring biblical submission back into Christian marriages and show the world how incredible marriage can be when you do it God's way.
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:22-24
Logging you in...
Jessica · 677 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 677 weeks ago
Vicky · 677 weeks ago
You have a lovely blog and I relate to your words of encouragement, but I wonder if you agree that simple submission isn't always enough to make a happy marriage? An example I am thinking of is of a very dear friend who was married for nearly fifty years. She lived a life of deep faith and loyalty to her husband, while he increasingly restricted her freedom and seemed to want to possess her. She was close to her children, yet they chose to live far away as their father, unreasonably, resented their relationship with their mother. Despite the oppression, she was still serving him patiently when she died of a heart attack, five years ago.
Do you agree that people, who suffer a marriage like this, need to know that there isn't always a simple fix? My friend's situation was extreme but, I felt that she needed to know it wasn't her fault. She was wearing herself out with kindness, but it was faith in God's will, rather than a happy marriage, which was the strength she impressed on her family and friends.
Maybe, you have written a different post in support of those whose best efforts seem to fall on stony ground? If so, I wonder if you have a link to it? God bless:)
Lori Alexander 122p · 677 weeks ago
In my experience when dealing with Christian wives, I know of only one such instance where the husband was extremely difficult for 50 years, the husband was won for the Lord before he died. Although happiness and pleasure are two wonderful desires of our lives, God has called the believer to a higher calling of suffering for Christ through an obedient faith. Seeking out godly counsel is important in such exceptional cases, and the scriptures do not preclude a woman from separating for a time, or permanently without remarrying. Is that fair? I can only teach what the scriptures teach and then each person is accountable for their individual walk with God.
As you can tell from my posts, I do not like pointing out the exceptions, mainly because they apply to 1-2%, and yet a far greater percentage will assume that their marriage is to a particularly difficult man, when in reality they may have never tried to live out God’s ways in their marriage. Apart from truly trying to please your husband, no wife will ever know what the Spirit of God can and will do to change his heart and mind so that “he can be won without a word.”
Vicky · 677 weeks ago
BethAnn · 677 weeks ago
Thank you for mentoring me. although we have never met, I am so blessed to read your words. I am currently engaged to a wonderful, Godly man and we will be married in October. I am divorced (he is widowed) and I am committed to doing it right this time. so much is different in my life this time 'round, I am a church-goer, I now surround myself with God-fearing women who believe in God and his Word, including submission and the household having one head (the man's). and to all that, I open my email most every day and get your encouragement as well. Thank you for what you are doing in my life.
BethAnn
Lori Alexander 122p · 677 weeks ago
MrsT · 677 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 677 weeks ago
KM · 677 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 677 weeks ago
Kate · 677 weeks ago
We cannot have joy in our marriages (or our lives) when our flesh rules. Biblical submission is following Jesus as our example as He submitted to the Father. And for us, this is a matter of learning to walk in the power of the Spirit. Biblical submission MUST be lived out by the power of the Spirit. But we must also learn to let the Spirit change our character so that submission becomes a part of who we are; bondslaves of Jesus!
Thanks for sharing this. Found you through Wise Woman link-up.
Cynthia Swenson · 677 weeks ago
slackersharla 26p · 677 weeks ago
Brit · 677 weeks ago
Brit · 677 weeks ago
My husband was contacted by someone in our church who is looking for a part-time job and wants to work for my husband at our coffee shop. I just found out today that he is going through a divorce and wants something to do when he doesn't have his kids because it's so hard on him. They were going to counseling, and then without talking about it his wife served him with divorce papers.
I've been around his wife a few times, and a couple months ago I thought how she does not seem like a good wife. I know this is very judging, but I just observed her bold, strong, not-giving in personality and thought that she must be a difficult wife. I don't know any of the details of their issues or relationship, but it just saddens me. I feel like if she understood Biblical submissive she could easily win back her husband who doesn't want the divorce and is grieving.
AMY · 677 weeks ago
Brit · 677 weeks ago
His wife probably doesn’t even know my name (we go to a pretty big church), so I don’t feel right about talking to her. I wish I could get her to read your blog! I think it would take a lot for her to admit that she has any fault and change, but I just wish there was a way! It makes me so sad!
AMY · 677 weeks ago
Rebecca · 677 weeks ago