Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Roses For The Ex-Wife

He asked if he should send roses to his ex-wife for Mother's Day.  Dennis Prager said that he saw no problem with that since it would be honoring the wife of his children.  Then Dennis asked why they got divorced.  I quickly blurted out to Ken, "She wasn't happy!"  The man then told Dennis, "I was happy and she was not.  I couldn't make her happy no matter how hard I tried."  Bingo!

Dennis then said this made him so sad.  One self could only make one self happy.  I thought, "No, only Jesus can make us happy."  As I thought about it, however, I changed my mind.  There are a lot of unhappy Christian who love Jesus and happy unbelievers who don't love Jesus.  It really is a choice.

So many women marry thinking their husbands should make them happy.  They want to be nurtured and cherished.  They want their husbands to understand their moods and sympathize with them.  They want them to be romantic and gentle.  I know.  I speak from experience.

Then we go about it completely the wrong way.  We pout, manipulate, get angry, and try to change them and make them love us.  We are called to love unconditionally and work on changing ourselves by being transformed through the renewing of our mind with God's truth.  I have found that the one most unhappy in the marriage is usually the one who has the ability to change it the most which, in my experience, has always been the wife.

Doing things God's way and obeying Him when He commands us to Rejoice always, again I say rejoice and learning to be content is when we find we are truly happy.  Manipulating, controlling, and pouting to try and get our way will only bring pain and unhappiness.

Oh, how I wish I could mentor this man's wife.  There are so many women I would love to mentor and teach them the ways of God and what pleasant paths His ways are for them.  She cared more for her happiness than the happiness of her husband or her children.  In turn, she made them all unhappy.

Divorce isn't the answer.  Pouring love upon others even when they seem to be unlovable is the answer.  Love covers over a multitudes of sin.

He that handles a matter wisely shall find good: 
and whoso trusts in the Lord, happy is he.
Proverbs 16:20