Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Separate Vacations?


The best marriage advice I now give, after receiving this advice from dozens of wives who have been married for up to 70 years while researching my book, is this: The happiest marriages are made up of two people who are engaged in separate passions, separate pursuits and who are wholly engaged in something beyond their partnership. {They also extol the benefits of separate vacations, even separate summers!} In fact, the most content wives I interviewed don't spend that much time with their spouses. They know that happily-ever-after must spring from within, and that counting on someone else to make you happy is a ticket to divorce.
{Iris Krasnow The Secret Lives of Wives: 
Women Share What It Really Takes To Stay Married}

So this is the secret of a happy marriage, spend more time apart and pursue completely different activites...Sounds just like the counsel I give women!  Just kidding.  This is the advice the world gives you to a happy marriage.  What advice does the Bible give?

The Bible tells us we are to submit, obey, please, love, reverence, and serve our husbands.  The advice you are getting from the world is completely contrary to this, namely, only think about yourself and what makes you happy.  If seeking your own hobbies, goals, and vacations make you happy, go for it.

The big problem is this attitude has infiltrated the church.  The church has forgotten to preach denying yourself and giving yourself away for the good of others.  It forgot to teach us that Jesus' last act on earth was to wash the disciple's feet.  He gave us this example so we would wash other's feet.

Are you washing your husband's feet?  Are you making his life happy? As you learn to give your life away and take your mind off of your own feelings and desires, the happier you will become.  Satan hides this from you but God tells us this plainly in His Word.  Listen to the Lover of your soul instead of the Great Deceiver.

Go on vacations with your husband.  Find things you enjoy doing together.  Don't listen to the wisdom of the world.  It is foolishness and will not lead to a strong, healthy marriage.  I can tell you one thing, my sister has no intention of vacationing all summer without her husband!

Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
Proverbs 5:18

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