Thursday, May 31, 2012

Is Emotional Purity Harmful?

Is teaching your children to be emotionally pure during their teenage years harmful?  According to this woman, she was very harmed through these teachings.  I can understand some of her arguments but I think a lot more teenagers are hurt from going from one relationship to another throughout their teenage years.

Having many relationships at a young age easily leads to sexual promiscuity.  The emotional purity teachings were to protect teenagers from this harm.  Maybe it went too far but I think it is much better than the alternative.

My generation was a unique generation.  My parent's generation didn't sleep around.  My mom went on many dates where the boys didn't even try to kiss her after a date.  None of them tried getting her in bed after a couple of dates.  Men respected women and most knew sex was reserved for marriage.

My generation came after the sexual revolution.  Our parents didn't know what was going on in my dating years.  Almost all the guys wanted to make out during the dates and expected long make out sessions at the end of the date.  My first date at sixteen years old ended with the guy almost getting in an accident driving me home because he was so angry I wouldn't have sex with him at the drive-in movie theater.

When I finally got a date with my dream boyfriend, he picked me up completely drunk and took me to a wild party.  He then took me to a bedroom and I asked him to take me home.

My parents never knew this.  They didn't know how different dating was for me as it had been for them.  Dating in my generation meant sleeping around.  I would have loved having boundaries that would have protected me.

So this young generation must understand where my generation is coming from when we began raising teenagers in regards to dating.  We didn't want our children to have to experience what we did.  We wanted to put boundaries around them that protected them.

Maybe we went too far.  I don't know.  I never taught my children emotional purity but I absolutely taught them sexual purity.  I didn't want them to date in high school, only in groups.  I didn't want them to be alone with members of the opposite sex when their hormones were raging and there was no way they could get married for several years.

When they were old enough to get married, we taught them to date only those they thought they could marry.  So far, it has worked out great for them.  One of them experienced a broken heart but lived through it and has a very healthy marriage.

I don't think there is any perfect formula except to teach them God's Word.  He teaches us to flee sexual sin and to keep the marriage bed pure.  He teaches us to honor our bodies and glorify Him with our bodies in everything we do.

Teach your children to love Him with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength.  Teach them to pray for their future spouse and ask Him to direct them to that spouse that He has picked out for them.  Our children are made in God's image and have the ability to exercise self-control.  Their worth comes from who they are in Christ.  Make sure they know this amazing truth.

Ask God for wisdom as you raise your teenagers in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.  He will give you wisdom and it will be good.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding. 
In all your ways acknowledge Him
and He shall direct your path.
Proverbs 3:4,5

Weekend Whatever