Always Learning: Very Spiritual Women

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Very Spiritual Women

There are many godly women out there. They go to intense Bible studies {BSF, for instance}. They even lead the Bible studies. They study their Bibles every day. They are involved in a good Bible believing church. They are mighty prayer warriors. They take meals to those in need. They teach Sunday School and help in nursery. They go on missions trips. They are amazing!

YET, they don't truly love their husbands. They would tell you they do, but they don't act like it. I think secretly they think that they are better and more spiritual than their husbands. They certainly don't treat them with respect or submit to them. They quarrel and argue with them all the time. They are not good wives.

Something is wrong with this picture, don't you think? I would rather them quit all of their "godly" ministries and Bible studies and start loving their husbands. This is what God commands of them. He doesn't command that they go to Bible studies or teach Sunday School. He doesn't tell them to go on missions trips. He commands them to please, love, serve, obey, and reverence their husbands and to be keepers at home.

To see these spiritual women come home and treat their husbands with disrespect is ugly. It blasphemes the Word of God. This is why God instructs the older women to train the younger women to read their Bibles, teach Sunday School, go on missions trips, etc. No! It tells us to train them to love and obey their husbands, love their children, be chaste, pure, keepers at home, etc.

God has a purpose in these commands. Wives who truly love their husbands and children must be a much greater witness to Him than these "spiritual" women's activities. Your greatest ministry field is in your own home. When your husband and children see you acting like Jesus, they are going to want to become like Jesus. Then they will go out into the world being salt and light.

Women, start loving your husbands as God commands you to do. You will find no greater joy than when you walk in obedience to His commands.

And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

I Corinthians 13:2

Modest Monday

Comments (44)

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enthusiasticallydawn 40p · 672 weeks ago

Learning. Grateful for His grace as I stumble and continue to grow in His grace daily. Such an important point and powerful truth. So important for woman who are in the church to be available to those who have not grown up in the church or seen this modeled as they were growing up to encourage and gently instruct in the way.

3 replies · active 672 weeks ago

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oklahomanicole 30p · 672 weeks ago

"This is why God instructs the older women to train the younger women to read their Bibles, teach Sunday School, go on missions trips, etc. No! It tells us to train them to love and obey their husbands, love their children, be chaste, pure, keepers at home, etc."

Thank you for posting this! Sometimes I feel like I am being made to feel inadequate because I am not spending every single moment of my life in a ministry outside my home or attending church or Bible studies, etc. I just feel like my home, and the people within it, ARE my ministry. If they aren't feeling loved, then I am misreading my primary purpose.

Lord knows I am not the perfect wife or mother, and fail my husband and children daily. But, if I am going to invest my time and education in something or someone, I want it to be them.

1 reply · active 672 weeks ago

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Susan · 672 weeks ago

Lori, I am ashamed to say it but I've been one of those "churchy" ladies most of the 27 years my husband and I have been married. In fact it has just been in the last year that my heart strings have been pulled in another direction. At some point I started resenting all the time my Bible study classes were taking because I was going non-stop. First I thought " I'm going to take a break so that some of this can at least sink in". Then, last summer I read "Housewives Desparate for God" which then resulted in reading "Created to be His Helpmeet". All I can say is that I am closer to the girl he dated and married than I have ever been. I still go to Bible Study but I have learned that sometimes I need to change my focus as He directs me. I'm not really sure if my husband really knows what has changed only that he is happier. I feel closer to him and more empathetic towards him that anytime in recent memory. I also feel content knowing that I am striving to be the wife God created me to be. I have to admit though, I am a work in progress! I have found your blog to be a great source of encouragement so I would like to thank you for the work you do here and all the encouragement you have given brides...young and old - ish.

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Lori Alexander 122p · 672 weeks ago

Thank you, Susan. I loved reading your testimony. God's ways are so good!

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Sheila Payne · 672 weeks ago

THANK YOU for this posting. I am at that age(51) when I am not as sure what my role in life is anymore. I have girlfriends that are a doctor, pilot, nurse, etc. and they seem so much more impressive to me and I bet to my sons as well. I am pretty ordinary feeling since I am just home doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. I tend to wonder if this is where God wants me or if I should be out serving others. These same ladies volunteer at the Pregnancy Resouce Center, Child Evangelism Fellowship, mission trips to England, South America, Africa. They are usually 2 week trips. In comparison to them, I get confused. Your posting was comforting to me.

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Joluise · 672 weeks ago

This is an interesting post as I am often considered making non Christian choices by being a working wife - but the fact is no-one really knows me but still makes a judgement. The woman you describe would appear to be a very Godly woman, however behinds the scenes she is far from it. This is why we, as women should never assume or judge others. I come home from a day at work and make sure that my husband gets a healthy cooked from scratch meal and that the house is clean , all his needs are met and I treat him as a christian wife should. 27 years I have been loving my husband.

You can not tell a book by its cover.

1 reply · active 672 weeks ago

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brian miller · 672 weeks ago

oh snap...prickly post...ha...and so true and a great expansion as well on that last scripture...all the bible study in the world wont help if our heart is not right...and that often comes out not in the public arena but at home where we are comfortable being who we really are...

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lori · 672 weeks ago

Gracious this is good! You speak of a very real problem in the church today. We seem to be forgetting the Titus 2 model and instead hide behind the Bible Studies when its our actions lived out that speak much louder than any quoted Scripture. Good, good word today! I think it's why we need the transparency and mentoring that so many churches forget...
lots to ponder!

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Fran · 672 weeks ago

I didn't find this to be a prickly post at all, but one full of much needed grace and truth. As a younger single woman, when I see married women at church hold down full-time careers, raise several children, teach Sunday school, lead Bible Studies, volunteer with their children's schools, etc. I can feel so discouraged and inadequate. I barely have time to hold down a full time job, maintain relationships with my family and close friends, and be in the Word....and I don't have a husband or children to attend to. I was beginning to get worried about how I would ever fulfill my roles as wife and mom (if God blesses me with those roles) as well as the older women I see at church who are so involved in everything. This post was a great reminder that when/if you become a wife and mother, God wants your focus to change from work, friends, and outside ministries to primarily a ministry at home. What a relief!

1 reply · active 672 weeks ago

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elizabethfstewart 38p · 672 weeks ago

Gulp! The truth hurts...and heals too.

1 reply · active 672 weeks ago

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Nicole · 672 weeks ago

Lori this is such a wonderful post- and so true. We can be very religious at times but not take to heart and obey the Lord in the simple things. I pray that the Lord will continue to change me into the Godly woman and wife He has called me to. I'm so glad He helps us!

Blessings,
Nicole
workingkansashomemaker.blogspot.com

1 reply · active 672 weeks ago

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Cynthia Swenson · 672 weeks ago

Love the scripture you selected for this post Lori! I sure don't want to be that clanging gong that scripture refers to yet the reality is that love is something we continue to grow in. I think something the Lord has used to help me is loving fellowship with other believers. This helps to teach me how to love. The scripture & fellowship are instrumental in strenthening our spirits to enable us to love. I would give grace to women but you are absolutely right about the scripture condemning lack of fruit & we need to hear this. It's awesome how God gives you good points nearly everyday.I love your blog! Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia

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Tiffany · 672 weeks ago

This makes me think of James 1:22 about being doers of the word, not just hearers!

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Cora · 672 weeks ago

You really touched on something that has been on my heart lately! Here I am getting older, and now considered one of the "older women" that the Bible so aptly talks of here. I have been feeling that tug in my heart to mentor the younger ones. Not because I did it so well, but because of all the mistakes I made, and would love to help these younger ones NOT to make the same mistakes I did. Passing on a legacy of a Godly, Christian, keeper of a home is the calling of all women. We don't need some great revelation from God to do this --- it's already in His Word, just as you said here. Thank you for being so brave to say what you did today. It warmed the cockles of my heart!

1 reply · active 672 weeks ago

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imperfect prose · 672 weeks ago

wow. yes. there is too much hypocrisy out there... we need to make our number one ministry our families, and then, if there's time and energy left over, pour into other things. thank you dear lori.

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Audrey Charles · 672 weeks ago

Wow! Direct and to the point! This is truly needed in the Body of Christ today. Thank you for this bold and thought-provoking message.

1 reply · active 672 weeks ago

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dmlynn 2p · 672 weeks ago

I agree. I know that I was NOT the most lovely wife to and for my husband in our very early years, and yet still I consider our marriage to be young ( 14 years ) - I've come a long way, I've been humbled many a times and not necessarily by my husband, but by the Lord Himself whose doing is always for my Good.
I am so very thankful for Jesus in my life.
I am so very blessed for my husband who is often like Jesus in my life, so unconditional and patient with me.
I love my husband so much, he's no longer something for me to 'control' , rather I see the gift he is in my life -my covering, my protecter, my rescuer, and all the lovely-dovey things too. I truly can say (now) that I love being a wife. And I truly love and adore being a mother. Such high callings to never take for granted or mistreat.

Visiting you through Spiritual Sundays! So glad I did! I was belssed by this message.
Hope to have you visit at my blog:)
God bless you, Deanna http://forthelordismylife.blogspot.com

1 reply · active 672 weeks ago

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Falen · 672 weeks ago

"To see these spiritual women come home and treat their husbands with disrespect is ugly. It blasphemes the Word of God." Such true statements!!! Found your page on the Beholding Glory link up. So glad I did. New follower. Adore everything about this post!

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Debbie · 672 weeks ago

May I be obedient to that word.

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Nikki · 672 weeks ago

life is such a learning curve. Thanks Lori and wishing you a happy mother's day.

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gailpurath 31p · 672 weeks ago

As a woman who stayed at home all her life and is still married to her best friend after 41 years, I've learned that many of my past judgements of working women and troubled women were coming from the wrong perspective. Now at age 60, almost 61, I'm learning that we each have our own set of problems, and while we need instruction and guidance in God's Word, we also need love, grace and understanding. So many times I've judged a marriage or a woman's life style to later find that she had problems I never knew about and she was dealing with obstacles that would make any of us fail at times. I'm happily married through the grace of God alone and I will stand before Him with all my sins covered by His blood...the only way I'll ever be good enough. I appreciate your final Scripture verse...without love for our husbands and for other woman who've chosen lifestyles different than our own, we are only clanging symbols. Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking post on B&BB. I hope it will make all of us think about our hearts. May your week be blessed, Gail

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momto8blog 67p · 672 weeks ago

how true...and how sad the world teacher otherwise...

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Charlotte · 672 weeks ago

I totally agree. You explained it very well.

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Lynn · 672 weeks ago

I too agree with Gail. The hardest lesson He has taught me since I was saved by Grace/Blood/Cross back in 1977 was was "judging" others by I saw. He has shown me that only HE can see our hearts. Only HE truly knows. While I also agree that some are given the gift of "teaching", I believe that this gift as well as all He gives be tempered with love, prayer and grace. May your week be blessed.

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Lori Alexander 122p · 672 weeks ago

Yes Gail and Lynn,

Unless one walks in another person’s shoes we will never fully know what we might do in those circumstances. This is what makes the truth of God so vital to all of our lives. That I am responsible to God and His Word no matter what my difficulties. That I know and believe that my God is “dwelling in me and walking in me” and that in whatever circumstances I find myself I have the power of the Spirit to shine the fruit of the Spirit no matter how difficult life may be.

Life can be so hard at times, and a wife married to a difficult man has to be a nightmare. My circumstances have been quite difficult with pain for 20 years, and yet all I can cling to are the promises of God. My happiness depends on me and my beliefs, not on my circumstances or my spouse or others.

When we encounter a woman with difficult problems we can only show her the hope of the gospel and the reality of the many promises God gives us. We do not judge, for we too have fallen, yet if we are to be helpful to her, we must not leave her to believe that her problems somehow allows room for what is unprofitable in self-pity, unhappiness, unrighteous thinking or behavior. We are to train the younger women how to walk in the Spirit so they can survive and thrive in Christ through their most difficult times of life. We must share love, grace, comfort and understanding with those who in the pit of life, while reaching out a hand of truth, for it is the truth that sets us free.

Most of the women I have counseled have begun with believing that their circumstances entitle them to live contrary to God’s Word. When they understand that their loving God can only deliver them when they take the first step of obedience, then I see God do a mighty work in their lives.

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