Sunday, January 20, 2013

In Rebellion To God


Yes, I have been in rebellion lately.  There is something Ken does that was bothering me.  I felt like he scolds me once in awhile.  I asked him if he would stop scolding me.  I didn't like it.  He told me he was "correcting" me because he felt I could be inconsiderate at times.

I move fast.  I talk fast.  I don't notice things sometimes.  I am inconsiderate at times but I fought him on this.  I didn't want him telling me what to do and correcting me.  I felt like a child.  So we went back and forth for a few days.

Finally, the Lord captured my attention.  I was in rebellion.  Plain and simple.  I didn't want to obey Ken in everything.  I didn't want to listen to his corrections.  I wasn't being a wise woman for a wise woman takes rebuke.

I write something on my facebook page every morning for the women who follow me to encourage them in their roles as wives and mothers.  I wrote this the other day ~

Criticism can increase your potential for growth mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Until you learn to accept criticism, you may never learn who you truly are. It is in criticism that you will learn your weaknesses and the things you need to change.

You all must realize that I am writing these words for me as much as I am writing them for you.  Ken knows me better than anybody else.  He can see my faults clearly and my desire is to become a godly woman that obeys God in everything.

Simply changing my perspective on my thinking changed everything.  I told Ken I want him to continue correcting me and I will no longer fight him on it.  He is a wise man and wants the best for me.  He isn't doing it to hurt me but to help me.  All of a sudden, I am fine with it!

I truly want to submit to and obey Ken in everything because this is what God commands of me.  I am still learning.  Understanding what submission looks like can take time when you haven't seen it practiced anywhere, but I know it is a beautiful thing because God only creates beauty.

Wives, submit yourselves to your 
own husbands as you do to the Lord.  
For the husband is the head of the 
wife as Christ is the head of the church, 
his body, of which he is the Savior. 
Now as the church submits to Christ, 
so also wives should submit 
to their husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:22-24



Modest Monday

Comments (15)

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That picture is beautiful.
I understand what you are saying. My husband does not criticise me and I do not do that to him, but I do 'gasp' when he is driving, double check when he says he did something and I want to be sure, handle the bills and finances because in the past he made a mistake, in saying all that I am subtle in the critcism. Do you understand what I am saying? without a word I am still saying... I am not sure and don't start me on the 'submit' word. Can't go there. It is a process 'YES'.
1 reply · active 635 weeks ago
God said to go there...It is good.
Cynthia Swenson's avatar

Cynthia Swenson · 635 weeks ago

"Submission....a beautiful thing because God only creates beauty." That is an intriguing thought! I find myself thinking about discipline A LOT these days since a daughter moved back home with two sons, ages 2&4. Discipline ALWAYS requires submission of the young one's wills & there is such a sweet peace when we achieve that attitude. However, it it very hard some days & I am praying to love them more fervently as well & praise their good behavior because I feel like a mean grandma sometimes .I know how important it is to teach them to cheerfully surrender their wills because that is exactly what God requires & teaches us! Hebrews 12:11,( discipline isn't joyful, it's painful! but afterwards yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who've been trained by it) We are always flawed, humanly speaking, but God's discipline is perfect! Love & prayers, in Jesus,Cynthia
1 reply · active 635 weeks ago
He sure does! You brought up some very good points. When raising our children, we absolutely wanted their submission to our discipline just as God wants our submission to His discipline so we can learn from Him and be more like Him.
Oh how I love God's instruction for us in marriage... love and respect our husbands (as he is the head of our home) and he is to love us as Christ loved the church. It's the perfect union when both are following God's plan for marriage. Thanks for sharing your heart.
1 reply · active 635 weeks ago
You're welcome, Rosann. I love God's plan!
Another one that really hits home. I get annoyed at my husband for correcting me, and you know he is right about what he is saying. I do need to be more submissive and appreciative of the fact that he is lovingly trying to help me. Thanks for this.
1 reply · active 635 weeks ago
I think it comes to the heart of true submission because most of us do not want to be corrected by anyone so we fight our husbands for correcting us. It is a battle we will never win, only lose. You're welcome, tbg! Also, thank you for the link to Catherine Marshall. I just wrote a post on her words. They were amazing.
Wonderful post, thank you very much for sharing. :)
How do I handle it when my husband falsely accuses me? I want to be submissive, but do I just say "yes, dear" even when it is not true and he knows it? He has anger issues and wants to blame me whenever anything goes wrong. I find myself trying to prevent things from going wrong. My husband gets angry at me for doing that. But if I don't, and things go wrong, then he takes it out on me, too. Could you please tell me how to handle this? How am I supposed to submit in this situation?
3 replies · active 635 weeks ago
With silence, with a meek and quiet spirit {I Peter 3:4}. We are to pursue peace with all men, including our husbands and called not to argue. I read this this morning...But if ye suffer for righteousness sake, happy are you and be not afraid of their terror, nor troubled. I Peter 3:14. I encourage you to study and meditate upon I Peter 2 and 3. Really good Truth.
Yes, thank you for the reminder. This is so difficult for me, as it has been going on for over 30 years, but I know God is faithful. I need to be in the Word more.
Thank you for your question. I just wrote a post using it and will be publishing it in a few weeks since several young women have asked me the same question. Blessings to you as you seek to obey the Lord! Obedience isn't easy but it is always good and produces very good fruit.
Hi Sami,

I think there are things a submissive wife can do with a husband like yours, assuming he is a believer. Submission is certainly about respect and obedience, but it does not require a wife to be a doormat. Good communications in any relationship requires a quick and gracious "I'm so sorry, what could I do differently?" Disarm him with a smile and kindness even as he exposes his weakness to blame.

Step two is to find the right time to discuss the incident after he has calmed down. "I was thinking Jeff about what I did wrong, and you know I always want to please you, but you can be hard to please at times. What I really need from you when you correct me or upset with me is to just tell me with a smile what you want from me. I will try to do it, but we can get along so much better if the emotions are taken out of the situation and I do not feel blamed or scolded. Just tell me like you might tell your co-worker. I know your comfort level allows you to nip at me from time to time, and I will overlook it as best I can, but as Christians we both need to learn not to blame and to always say things with kindness."

OK, you get the point.... it is appropriate in the right timing for you to work to change your husband's thinking and behavior. Take different approaches, in a loving and gentle way, but get him to agree that his explosive or difficult manners are not representative of the life of Jesus he has inside of him.

Submission .... yes, but you both are growing together in Christ and "iron sharpens iron." There is no reason why once or twice a month you cannot ask your husband to help you have a better marriage and explain what that looks like. If done playfully and with a smile you can go a long way to gaining results and he will eventually get it.
1 reply · active 635 weeks ago
Thank you, Ken, for your response. I believe he knows he does this, because periodically he will apologize for being a jerk. I have talked to him about it during happy times, but usually it puts him in a bad mood, so I tend to avoid bringing it up. I guess I will have to continue to pray about it and for him, and let the Holy Spirit guide our conversations.

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