Keeping the Record Straight

At times, I {Ken} hear about some pretty off base things written about us by our detractors. We try to avoid reading them and Lori does a good job of hitting the delete button on some pretty silly and often derogatory comments by a small subset of anti-fundamentalist watchers. We must fascinate them by how we live and what we write as it goes so contrary to their belief system, or feminist agenda.

Recently, to my surprise, I discovered that all my children were living off of me as no fundamentalist children can get good jobs with good pay. I had a good chuckle at this baseless assertion that seems to have been made because our daughter asked, as a joke, if Mom would get her a massive puzzle {18,000 pieces!} for Christmas, and because of its size, she also joked about needing a table to put it on. Then the apartment would be too small, so could she have a larger apartment too? {with a Ha Ha!}

The old telephone game we used to play as kids pales in comparison to the conclusions reached when one person puts only a piece of truth on the Net and then another "agenda bound" person takes it and twists it like a pretzel, sending it on through a filter of idle speculation; mischaracterizations that results in outright lies. For instance, no one is quite sure in one small group exactly why Lori writes what she writes and teaches what she teaches. It couldn't be because the Bible actually teaches this stuff about submission, keepers at home and loving your husband. No, Lori must hate women, or her relationship with Ken is so messed up with both of us beating each other daily, that this propels us to write such things. This is the polar opposite of the truth as it is the love for women and wives that propels Lori to countless hours of study and counseling that bears much fruit from her writings.

Look at what we actually stand for; we want Christian women everywhere to come back to God’s values of loving and respecting their husbands. Lori wants wives to be keepers at home; to not have to work two jobs, but to be able to focus on their God given role as the primary nurturer of family. Lori admonishes that women show their love by submitting to their husband's leadership and trying to please him; while I teach men to love their wives as Christ loves the church by always showing leadership in a Christian way. We clearly denounce any form of abuse, control or unchristian behavior in a marriage, but because Lori teaches what the Bible teaches on submission, somehow we become the enemy to some who fear our biblical perspectives. They see any husband leading a wife as by definition a form of abuse even if she willingly follows.

We can’t do much in today’s world about those who gossip behind an anonymous moniker on the Internet. If you read things about us that are outside of what you know us to be from the blog, rest assured, if it is anything outside of being Christian, it is not true. We are willing to have our imperfect lives measured against the fruit of the Spirit, but we cannot play "whack a lie" with those who once hiding online do not show ethics that match up to their own stated values.

Not only are each and every one of our children doing well spiritually and great by the world's standards, they also all have hearts for doing things God's ways. The idea  that fundamentalist children cannot be successful is blown away by all of our children and their terrific spouses. The girls are all highly intelligent, yet want to use their wisdom and knowledge for building God's kingdom. They make our guys so much better to be freed to work hard providing very well for their families, yet still be able to have great family lives. 

All the children run their own lives and pay their own way in life. This should dispel the myth that fundamentalist kids carry a strange stigma that keeps them from being able to achieve good careers.  It is so far from the truth as almost any young adult taught a mandatory ethic of hard work, and being the best they can be, will be able to provide well for their family.

We all live reasonable lives with how we spend, and my daughter is happy with her $40 Craigslist table and her inexpensive apartment. {Thank you student housing!} She is especially thrilled with her choice of husband, Ryan, who is a gem in many ways, works hard, and is a much loved addition to the family. But if you have an extra few dollars this Christmas for a puzzle, she is supporting a dental student on a part-time job, and she loves puzzles!

As for my relationship with Lori, it has never been better! We have our moments where we may miscommunicate, or I am stressed by the job, when we do not connect as well, but you will rarely find a negative tone of voice or cross word. We are far too mature as believers to stay trapped in past bad behaviors, and besides, it is easy for me as she is almost always practicing what she teaches. Love, kindness, generosity, caring, helping each other, being best friends and companions, and lovers; these are the things that characterize us, and our home, moment by moment, almost every day. We truly love each other with a sense of oneness, and we would be lost without the other to walk every day hand in hand around the park.  This is a far cry from the fabrications of the Internet Hidebehinds.

We have many great joys this holiday season as we look back this year with family and ministry. Lori hears from 3-4 people every day what an impact her writings and blog have had in helping them grow up into Christ Jesus and becoming the godly spouse God has called them to be. These testimonies of how God is working through His Word to change lives gives us many personal connections. After all, how many couples can minister together and watch the fruit of their ministry blossom in their children and their readers almost every day. We also share many laughs from some of the silly comments meant to distract us and the readers from the truth. But it can also get annoying at times.

Thank you for those of you who support Lori’s blog, and please keep us in your prayers that the task of swatting the silly comments will not grow wearisome for Lori. Her health seems to have turned the corner for the good, so we hope for many years of Always Learning and mentoring those who desire to learn from an older Christian couple who could have done it far better earlier in our lives had we been given the wisdom taught here. To dispel another myth; Lori has months of pre-written material as a lack of godly wisdom is rampant in today's society. She makes all decisions about the blog. I just help out when asked.

We have nothing to hide, and perhaps someday a few of the detractors will come to visit with us and see that what we have is for real. No pretense, not all talk, just a faithful attempt to walk in the Spirit of God, and to believe and teach all of God’s Word, even the parts that are opposed to worldly thinking. For we have but one life to give, and we have chosen to live it sold out to Jesus; the one we call Savior and Lord. And if you fall short of God's Word, rest assured that there is much forgiveness and understanding from the Lord and from us. We did too many things wrong and only hope to save a few from our years of upsets and disobedience.

May the Lord bless you all this Christmas season as we seek God together where He can be found in His Word and in the hearts and minds of those who have chosen to accept Jesus as the little baby who is the King of Kings. May His peace be upon you, and may our detractors be at peace with allowing us to share our message of the Good News that brings not only salvation, but changed lives and marriages.

For our exhortation was not of deceit, nor of uncleanness, nor in guile: But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which tries our hearts. As you know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children, that you would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory.

I Thessalonians 2:3-4 & 11-12