Monday, August 24, 2015

Dressing Immodestly is Being Prideful


Most women like attention. They like to have others look at them, give them compliments and tell them how pretty they are since this builds up their "fragile self-esteem." Is this what godly women should be looking for? Shouldn't we be looking for others to think of us as being kind, generous and caring, instead of trying to draw attention to ourselves?

We are told that many women in today's society have a problem with their self-esteem. If their self-esteem is so low, why are so many of them showing off their bodies in tiny bikinis, low-cut tops and short shorts and dresses? No, their problem isn't one of self-esteem; it is one of pride. They want others to look at their bodies and even have men lust after them. It's a huge ego thing and this isn't what godly women should be after.

Women also have a tendency to spend a lot of time on themselves by shopping for clothing, shoes and makeup. They spend a lot of time fixing their hair and in front of the mirror making sure they look perfect. They seem to think it's a "sin" if they aren't "loving themselves enough" and spending time for themselves, instead of loving God and others more by living lives of unselfishness, humility and thankfulness for the way God created them.

God commands women to be modest in ALL areas of our lives; in the way we dress, in the way we spend our money and in the way we act. When we spend a lot of time and money on ourselves, we are filled with pride; only thinking about ourselves and our needs. I am 56 years old and in about a week, I'll be 57 years old. Women seem to age quickly after the age of 55. I've been through a lot physically and this, along with my age, is showing. I'm not thrilled about taking pictures of myself anymore. However, growing old doesn't bother me. This is a part of God's plan and I am content with it! {I'm actually happy I've even reached this age!}

Ken still finds me attractive and he is the only one that matters to me. I want others to find Jesus in me to be attractive. As our outer man is decaying, our inner man should be being renewed day by day. I do this by spending time in the Word, praying, listening to godly teachers and preachers and trying to dwell on the lovely and the pure. Yes, I blow it but my desire in life is to be like Jesus in my attitudes and actions. Yet, no matter how old or young you are, how beautiful or not so beautiful, the only thing others remember after being with you aren't your looks or the way you dressed, but if you were kind to them and interested in their life. I have learned to be interested in other's lives and to stop focusing upon myself. I love asking people I meet questions about themselves. I don't try to get them to be impressed with me anymore. The Lord has disciplined me enough to know that life isn't about me but about serving Him by loving others and teaching them His ways.

Women, please stop being immodest in your dress and in your behavior since the root of this is pride which began with the enemy of our souls. You are going to age and get old, if the Lord blesses you with years but in the meantime, use the years you have to bring glory to Him. The greatest fruit you will bear will not be all the time you spent on yourself trying to look beautiful and sexy but in giving yourself away to your family and others. Your looks will fade. You will get gray hair and wrinkles. The best antidote to this I have found is to stand up straight and tall and smile warmly at others.

Here is a picture of Ken and me a few days ago at a friend's wedding. The key to taking pictures at my age is to not take pictures too close, up higher, and try to make them a bit fuzzy; not that I'm prideful or anything! 



For which cause we faint not; 
but though our outward man perish, 
yet the inward man is renewed day by day.
2 Corinthians 4:16

***On Monday, September 7th, I'm going to be starting a 10-week series using Nancy Leigh DeMoss' study guide called "Interior Design: Ten Elements of Biblical Womanhood." You can order it HERE if you would like to follow along. Some of the chapters include: Discernment, Affection, Discipline, Virtue, Disposition, and Beauty. It will be an encouraging and convicting study. Please join us!

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Kathy in Illinois's avatar

Kathy in Illinois · 500 weeks ago

You and Ken look wonderful, Lori! I will be 64 on Wednesday and when my husband says something about my appearance I still get chills like I did when we were first married 40 years ago!! Great post!
God bless, Kathy in Illinois
1 reply · active 500 weeks ago
Thank you, Kathy! Happy Birthday!
You both look lovely and your post is so true! I remember a girl wearing a bikini and saying that it wasn't about her body. Now she has 5 children; and if it wasn't about her body, she could still wear one to be consistent. Truthfully, it is a pride issue. There are manicures, pedicures, waxing, sugaring, massages - the list goes on.
I'm thankful that my husband appreciates me and I know my husband is honorable and full of integrity. Beauty is only skin deep!
1 reply · active 500 weeks ago
Yes, Maria, many women spend a lot of money trying to beautify themselves. Pride is something we all must fight. We should try to look good but it shouldn't take a ton of time and money that could be used for much better purposes!
Good post, Lori! Thank you for always preaching our responsibility to dress and behave modestly.

I ran across this the other day and thought you might like it - it's a very hardcore post on the subject of modesty:
http://www.pilgrimministry.org/literature/the-sin...

Have a wonderful day!
Diana
1 reply · active 500 weeks ago
Thank you for the link, Diana! I will make sure to read it!
My husband also enjoys me dressing modestly. But he has asked that I spend more time on myself. He thinks I'm pretty and all but specifically says that he would like to see me take better care of my skin and hair. He also likes me to remain slim. Staying slim is the "easy" part for me but I really have put taking care of my skin and hair on the back burner ever since I had children. He takes very good care of himself and I suppose he doesn't want to feel like he married someone 20 years his senior. :) It is odd that it is something I have to focus on now as I never had to before.
1 reply · active 500 weeks ago
It's true, Michelle. If spending a lot of time and money on yourself has never been an issue, as we age, we must spend a bit more time especially if our husbands want us to continue to look as pretty as we can. I do dye my hair by myself but I will always wear little make up. I can't wear it on my eyes due to side effects of Cyber Knife but staying in shape does help. Now, if I could only lift some weights!
Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.- Proverbs 11:26
1 reply · active 500 weeks ago
Perfect verse! Thank you.
My husband likes me to dress modestly and decently. (Not wear my ragged garden work clothes off anywhere!) He likes me to look as God made me, no make up, hair perms, etc., but he also likes me to take care to keep myself, such as wearing gloves in the garden so my hands to not stain green and brown. Anyway, we were talking recently about how much time and money women spend shopping and new clothes when I noted we had been married two and a half years and I had not bought any clothes since we were married. Since that comment, I have had to purchase some underclothing, but I got to thinking, it would be fun to see how many years we could go in our marriage without me purchasing any clothing! (As in blouses, skirts and dresses. I'm not talking of socks and such.)
3 replies · active 500 weeks ago
Good for you, Nicole! Most women could probably go a LONG time without purchasing any clothes or shoes. I wonder what it is in women that we want to continually buy more stuff. I suppose it is a deep inner discontentment which we must not give in for godliness with contentment is great gain.
I could never handle the garden gloves, they drove me absolutely crazy and I had to take them off. I could not get a grip on anything and finally I just took them off and did what I needed to do. I just use a strong pumice soap on my hands.
Regular gloves are a little annoying and cumbersome. My husband had an idea that works pretty well. I wear the plastic blue gloves such as a dentist would wear. They are tighter fitting and allow your hands closer contact.
What a coincidence... I was just reading the first few chapters in 1 Timothy this morning and part of it was talking about dressing modestly and with propriety... Also on being submissive and having a quiet spirit. It's disheartening to see so many young girls dressing the way they do... All they are doing is attracting the wrong kind of attention. Even Facebook profiles of younger girls show them in skimpy outfits and seductive poses :( I'm also learning our bodies change as we age as I recently discovered my first gray hair! And though I'm healthy and at a good weight, my stomach isn't the same after my csection. I've dealt with that, and now I'm fine with it as there are many things so much more important, like my daughter and I surviving the birth, which we almost didn't. Now when I look at my scar, I immediately give thanks to God for her.

My husband encouraged me to do the series on Interior Design with you after I told him about it and I'm waiting for my book to arrive! I'm really looking forward to it. Thank you for putting in your time and wisdom into mentoring us!
1 reply · active 500 weeks ago
I'm glad, Katie. I think it will be a great encouragment to all of us; me included! Most women who have had babies have battle scars from it but oh, they are SO worth it!!!
Thank you, Dorothy! A woman who fear the Lord is beautiful!
Great photo and post Lori!

Blessings
Helen UK

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