Friday, October 23, 2015

She Doesn't Like to Cook


This woman doesn't like to cook because she'd "rather be a rock star professional who gets promoted so my kids can show off their cool career mom at career day at school. I'd rather be the mom who can teach my children real-world leadership skills so I can help prepare them for their future professional lives. Concepts they just won't learn in school, at least not the way I would want or have experienced myself."

So she'd rather her children be able to show her off at school one day a year than be home cooking nourishing food for them and taking care of them full-time. Unfortunately, many women share this same sentiment and don't like to cook preferring a career over keeping a home and family. I hear many women confess that they don't like to cook, even if they are home full-time. Therefore, they don't cook. Their family rarely gets home-cooked food so they go out to eat all the time or eat packaged, processed food. I don't like to clean bathrooms. It is a job I've never enjoyed. Maybe, I should stop cleaning the bathrooms.

Many men don't enjoy their jobs; some even greatly dislike them. They are demanding jobs with difficult people. Should they quit and allow their families to go hungry? Just because you don't like to cook, doesn't mean you shouldn't cook. I clean the bathrooms since they need to be kept clean. Ken has worked hard for our family for 35 years and it hasn't been easy. 

Women are called to be keepers at home and part of being a keeper at home is cooking. This is an important job in your home. Your family's health depends on you fixing nutritious food for them. Yes, it takes a lot of time to shop for healthy food and prepare it from scratch but it's what wives and mothers should do whether they like it or not.

A young woman recently told me her mother didn't like to cook but she has always cooked for her family. She knew this is what she was supposed to do so for many years, she has cooked. It's called sacrificing our wants and desires for others. We are called to be living sacrifices regardless if we like it or not. As believers, our calling is to be obedient to the Lord in everything, not satisfy our longings.

When I was in junior and senior high school, we had classes called Home Economics. I learned how to sew in junior high and how to cook in my senior high class! These were required classes back then. Unfortunately, they aren't anymore and even most colleges don't have classes teaching these important skills to women. No wonder so many women have no interest in being a keeper at home. However, mothers should be the ones training their daughters! They are the ones raising them and this should be a priority; teaching them how to be keepers at home.

To say that you don't like to cook needs to be done away with. There are many things in life that we don't enjoy doing but God commands, Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men {Colossians 3:23}. This includes ALL areas of keeping a home;  She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness {Proverbs 31:27}. You may never enjoy cooking but just understand whatever you do to serve your husband and family, you are doing unto the Lord! If you choose to eat healthy and make your meals from scratch, it will take a lot of time but this time is well spent since the we are called to nourish the bodies and souls of our family.

Remember that whatever the Lord has called you to do, He has given you the strength to accomplish it since He's given us His Holy Spirit that works mightily within. 

She is like the merchants' ships; 
she bringeth her food from afar.
Proverbs 31:14

Comments (36)

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Thank you for the encouragement Lori. I don't like to cook either but reading articles about others who don't like to cook and justifying it doesn't motivate me to be or do better. I think women need to stop trying to bring other women down to their levels (or even rallying together at the bottom). I am pro staying home to take care of your family but it is a double shame that the article is for working women. The article should be, "How to Fix Quick Nutritious Meals for Your Family" not, absolving working women from their duties to their families. The meals the author was "high-fiving" in the comment section is the very reason why we have such unhealthy children and families today. This is a shame and should never have been published.

I feel like this is a trend though, and not just with working mothers but with everyone. Everyone is "keeping it real" and letting it all hang out. There is no inspiration for anyone in that. If you need to see someone's bad side in order to feel better about yourself, then you have issues. Everyone (especially women) should be looking to help each other reach even higher standards instead of inviting others to wallow in the mire with them.
1 reply · active 492 weeks ago
I have often said the same thing about cleaning the toilet. I don't "like" doing it, so I just wont. How immature and selfish, huh? Thank you for being brave enough to be honest.
1 reply · active 492 weeks ago
As I mentioned in my post about living in a messy house but becoming a tidy person, my mom often talked about how she didn't like to cook and that attitude transferred over to me from those early years. My husband loves to cook and would ask me if he could cook a few meals a week in the beginning of our marriage because it helped him relax and unwind. He now doesn't enjoy cooking so much, for some reason, so I took over 100% of the cooking several years ago. I'm more of a "clean" eater and really keep things simple with fish, lean meats, vegetables, salads, and sometimes brown rice. All are simply seasoned with salt, pepper, and herbs. I've often asked my husband if the food I make is boring to him, since I pretty much only vary the seasoning. He said he loves it and never feels stifled, which was a blessing to me. Sometimes simple meals make me feel better, knowing I know every ingredient and there's not much of a chance of overdoing the calories.

We don't HAVE to love to cook, but we should love serving our family and keeping them healthy. Our children all ask for second and third helpings of salad and vegetables. They absolutely love them, just like we do. I will never tell our children that I don't enjoy cooking. I would just rather be cleaning. :-)
1 reply · active 492 weeks ago
I love cooking, and because I do, I am able to bless many people (my family and others) with my handiwork.

When people are sick, I bless them. Recovering from surgery? From having a baby? I like to bless them. I make it my mission field, and one that is very neglected. I think about what they specifically have been through, and I craft together a very nourishing, 5 start restaurant quality meal, and bring it to them, completely ready to go. Rather than throwing together a messy casserole that no one really wants to eat, (though it is more the thought) I really bring my best effort to them.

God has placed me in a position I take seriously. I am both the gatekeeper for their health and nourishment, and also the memory maker for many meals, holidays and celebrations around the family table.

Our family has a rule: We always eat dinner together at the table, and most other meals are that way, as well. This keeps me accountable to the seriousness of the task at hand.

In turn, my daughters have learned to cook and bake quite well at only 10 and 12, and are excellent artisan bread bakers. I want to pass on this dying craft to them so they may bless others. When we put together a basket for someone at church, they are a big part of the process.

Of course, sometimes I don't feel like cooking. This is when we will get a pizza, or I'll heat up a meal I've prepared exactly for that time from the freezer. It's both more economical, and healthy to understand how food works in the body, and how it works in the kitchen, than it is to throw together pre-mades, or eat out. I make everything from scratch: salad dressings, stocks, soups, etc., and even my two year old favors real food vs kid food, as a result.

All women can learn to cook. Shame on feminism for lying to women the past couple of generations, indoctrinating them to believe that cooking and cleaning is beneath them! I challenge any feminist to do my job even 1/10th as well as me, on my worst day! We all must do things we don't find enjoyable. I do things I personally loathe every single day, and do it with a humble heart, because I realize the big picture is must larger than a singular thing I find non entertaining.
7 replies · active 492 weeks ago
I've never commented before, I'm a shy creeper :) I clicked the link to read the actual article, and my blood boiled! I HATE cooking. I can bake, but I'm so uncreative and unimaginative that I don't substitute well. I am a black and white thinker and am good at math. I can follow instructions to a T. But when a recipe says "add ground beef," it freaks me out and I have to google or think through whether or not to brown it before adding. Simple, small things I never learned growing up (my mom cooked, but she never taught me). It feels overwhelming and it would be easier
just not to cook. I have a 3 and 5 year old. I can't imagine saying a "fairly nutritious" meal was fish sticks, hot dogs, bologna sandwiches or frozen entrees. We do enjoy pizza from time to time, but nearly every single meal we eat is prepared fresh. Google deli meats, frozen entrees and the like and you will see in one second how unhealthy that stuff is. I, for the life of me, cannot believe any woman who is smart enough to have such an "amazing career" would ever truly think those are healthy. It makes me angry because I hate cooking too and it's easy to hear others excuse away poor nutrition for convenience. It's hard not to allow that excuse to start to feel right in my head when I'm googling over a hot stove. I'm so very thankful I found this blog because it gives me encouragement and reminds me that the things I am doing are done sacrificially for my family and to honor Him. Thank you for reminding me that I'm NOT crazy because I believe nutrition is so vital to my family.
1 reply · active 492 weeks ago
I love cooking and have a collection of recipes that take different times (and level of difficulty) - some quick (for those nights I am either in a hurry or tired) and those that take much longer. I also have a range of healthy homemade one pot meals that are great for during the week.

I do think women are becoming much lazier (regardless of what they do during the day, they use going to work as an excuse and it isn’t) and go down the processed food path as it is “easier” and don’t think too deeply about the consequences of poor food chooses. Everyone should be taught food economics considering the level of obesity we currently have in the west and the on-going cost to the health systems.

We hardly ever eat takeaway these days and if we want something like a pizza or hamburger we make our own as they taste so much better than bought ones (which are also very expensive). Last night I surprised my husband with a roast as I know how much he enjoys them, he really appreciated the effort and it really didn’t take that much longer.

Even when the children were little I home-cooked and they often joined in, through this, they too developed a love of cooking and now cook their own meals in their own homes. It is a precious gift that we need to pass on to our children as it has long term affects down the line - our decisions will affect future generations.
3 replies · active 492 weeks ago
Thank you Lori for this great post and ladies for the wonderful comments!

A blog by Peace at Home, Daniel's wife has many good recipes and some posts on food shopping etc. I'm not sure how to send a link but if you type into google search thehousewifescraft.blogspot (being sure to type 'the' in the title) her link/hit should come up. It's a fabulous resource.
1 reply · active 492 weeks ago
What an encouraging post! I hate domestic stuff. I hate cleaning, I hate cooking. But I do it anyway, because I have to - no one else is going to. But it is a daily struggle to do it, because I really don't enjoy it. If anyone has any tips to transform my hate of this domestic drudgery into loving this domestic stuff, I would love to hear them!

I am not a good cook. I did Home Economics at school and I did cooking classes when I trained to be a nanny. Before having my own family I was a nanny and was responsible for cooking many family meals. I am still not a good cook. I don't particularly enjoy it because I'm not good at it; it feels like a chore to me. What I cook is generally edible, but it is by no means "good".
I was lucky that for a long time, I was the working woman and my husband was the house-husband and he did all the domestic duties and he did them well. Now I am at home and my husband works and he expects a decent meal when he gets home and sometimes, I admit, I resent him for it. Occasionally my husband will still cook, as he enjoys it and is very, very good at it, but for the most part, the responsibility falls on me (as it should, as I'm home and he's not).
I understand that working woman not wanting to cook - I didn't want to either when I was working. But I am so much happier now that even though I hate to cook when I don't enjoy it, and I have to clean which I don't enjoy either, I get to stay home with my awesome children and that beats having to go to work! Now I just have to figure out a way to actually enjoy cooking and cleaning and not just doing it because I have to.
1 reply · active 492 weeks ago
My grandpa's, born in 1907 and 1910 worked so hard. They did not like the work one in the woods cutting trees and the other in a lumber mill. 40 years they did this! But they had families to support and those jobs did the job! My sister and brother in law are putting more importance on my 14 year old niece getting honor roll grades and volleyball than on learning how to be a wife and mother...which she wants to be. My college age niece can't find her way around the kitchen either...college and career are the end all. My heart breaks for todays youth.
3 replies · active 492 weeks ago
I was a home economics major in college about the time they began to phase these classes out! So after my junior year I quit, moved home and got married. I went to work for a communications company that my dad was a partner in. That's where I met my husband. However because of the path of working I had less and less time for cooking, cleaning and sewing. I began to lose passion for those things but at the same time I missed them so much.
Now I am a 55 year old home school mom of a 15 year old high school freshman who is afraid of the stove! So I am purposing to teach her these things while she is young enough to hopefully develop a passion for. I think the busy-ness of life these days and more women working, less women at home cooking has resulted in the balloon of fast food in our culture and sadly the obesity of ourselves and our children.
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Mrs. Senior Chief · 492 weeks ago

I came up with 30 recipes. Put them on laminated cards with abbreviated instructions and ingredients on the back. They range from major prep, cook ahead, easy prep, crockpot and quick. My husband tranfers money into our food account every Friday and picks 5-7 recipes (depending on whether we have plans/obligations to dine out). I have a pre-printed grocery list that follows the layout of the store. I purchase what we need and do any pre-prepping over the weekend. It makes dinnertime a breeze, saves money and keeps us from getting in a rut. I have added a few more recipe ideas and will continue to do so. My husband feels loved and cared for and we eat nutritiously. We also have leftovers for sack lunches and saved enough last year to purchase two kayaks.

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