Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The Sphere of a Woman's Life


Women get bored at home. Being in the workforce, for many women, is much more exciting and fulfilling for them than being home cooking, cleaning, shopping, raising children, etc. Therefore, Satan created lies for women to believe and drove women out of their homes, thus destroying the family unit. Here is what John MacArthur had to say about this ~ ~

Women don't want to be workers at home. Why? Because Satan sells the system on that. Why? Because it's anti-God, anti-Christ, anti-Bible and it devastates the testimony of the church. 

The word "workers at home," one word in the Greek, oikourgos, from two root words, ergon, which means work, and oikos which means house. It's simply the sphere of a woman's life is her home, that's her domain. It doesn't mean she has to be there 24 hours a day and can never leave. I'm not saying that because you don't want to lock her up with soap operas either, but what it does mean is that is the sphere of her life; that is her domain. It is not that she is simply to be home, but that the home is her sphere. 

The woman in Proverbs 31 left home when she needed to to buy a field, she left home to prepare that field, she left home and went afar to find things that would help the family. The woman did what she needed to do but the focus of everything was the home. And that's where she poured her life and she got up early and she went to bed late for the sake of the home. She is to be a home keeper; the sphere of her responsibility, her place of employment, where she should pour her life. 

For a mother to get a job outside the home and send the children to some kind of daycare place is to shirk her God-given responsibility. It also is failure to understand that her husband is to be the provider, as Ephesians 5 makes very clear. Even if you wanted to work outside the home to pay for your children to go to a Christian school, you made a big mistake. Better that you should stay in the home and raise your own children to be godly then to pass it on to somebody else.

Teach young women to be...keepers at home.
Titus 2:3-5

Monday, March 30, 2015

A Safe Home is a Non-Toxic Home


Cancer is running rampant. Auto-immune diseases are sky-rocketing. No, we can't protect our families from all the falleness of this world, but we can certainly do our best and then leave the rest in God's hands. Our world is very polluted. Man is good at ruining what God created. However, there is so much good in the world also. We must keep our focus upon these things and make our homes as healthy as possible.

Many toxic chemicals cause cancer. It has been proven that we all have cancer cells in our body but a healthy immune system can keep the cancer cells from getting out of control. Another way is to try and prevent your family from being exposed to toxic chemicals. It has also been proven that the most toxic air is inside the home from all the toxic cleaning chemicals, furniture, carpet, etc. There is a lot we can do to make the air in our homes cleaner. Keep your windows open whenever the weather permits. Use non-toxic products for your home, organic food, safe hair care and body products, buying used things that have had time to air out, wood flooring or tile, and green plants around your home to clean up the air.

We must go back to the ways God created things to be, as much as possible. Use 100% cotton clothing. Eat food exactly the way He created it to be. Cows were meant to eat grass and hay, not grains. The same goes for chicken. Fish were meant to swim free in the ocean, not farm raised where they get all kinds of parasites and diseases. Pets are getting cancer now too from eating dead, processed food instead of food they were created to eat. Cats and dogs were meant to be meat eaters, not grain eaters. 

Be more concerned with toxic chemicals over germs and viruses. A healthy body can fight most germs and viruses, but doesn't do as good of a job with toxic chemicals. I've never used any anti-bacterial soap! I don't use regular sunscreen since it is full of chemicals. I make my own deodorant. When my children were sick, I'd research natural ways to help their bodies heal, never depending upon drugs with all of their side effects.

Am I an environmentalist? Not if it includes saving eagles' eggs over saving unborn babies and preaching against having babies, I'm sure not! I do believe in caring for the creation the Lord has blessed us with, including our own bodies and doing what I can in my power and wisdom to keep them as unpolluted as possible!

For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.
Romans 1:20

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Is an Egalitarian Marriage the Truth?


For the Christian, nothing is more important than the truth. Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me" {John 14:16}. Not only do we understand this to be the fundamental truth of our faith, that only through Jesus can we be saved, we also understand how important it is to live our lives according the the Truth of God's Word, in all areas of life and godliness. Apart from the truth, we have nothing but guesses, wishes, desires and a man-made relationship with a make-believe God.

For many, the truth takes a back seat to what "works for me" as the Creator's plans for life and marriage are set aside for utilitarianism. All egocentric relationships focus on what is best for me with little regard for what is already defined as "best" by God's perfect will and Word. "Hey what we do works for us, so what's the problem?"

Anyone who teaches God's Word knows how vital it is to try to teach "the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God." This doesn't mean we always get it right when we interpret the Bible, but certainly we must try our best to drill down to the bedrock truth of what the original writers intended to tell his readers to discover what God means to tell us about who He is and what He desires for our lives. 

Many who teach Truth often get the label of being arrogant. Pastor David Jeremiah has an excellent sermon on truth and said, "Many say if you are Christians and you know the Truth, isn't that arrogant on your part? It's not arrogant to believe what the Bible teaches. In fact, it's the opposite. Arrogance is when we try to tailor Truth to our preference."

Many don't like what the Bible teaches, even Christians. They try to justify their beliefs through the lens of their experiences, feelings, or emotions instead of by what the Word of God actually says. Pastor Jeremiah admonishes us to refuse to let our experiences, feelings, emotions, or the world and its way squeeze us into it's mold. Whether it's things like our personality, decisions, habits, work ethic, marriage, spending patterns, morals, parenting skills, giving amounts, sexual appetite, choices, actions, all of it needs to be subjected and found in God's Word and His Truth. Measure everything in your life by the Bible, nothing else!

Here is where we have the biggest concern about Christians who choose to model their marriages after an egalitarian model instead of a truly Biblical model of a husband's loving leadership and a wife's respect and submission. We hear much talk about how well egalitarianism worked for their parents, or works in their marriage, and we think, "That's great!" It is always fun to find a marriage that is loving and working. But the Christian misses the point of what God is trying to do in this world if they are determining their choice of marriage model based on what works as opposed to what God calls His best. 

Consider for a moment your relationship with God. There are many levels that such a relationship can be lived. God asks that we obey his commands, and the believer who obeys God has a certain level of relationship like a boss to an employee. Boss says, "Do it my way," and you do it without questioning then the boss is pleased. A deeper level of relationship comes when God asks for our love and we give it by showing our love to Him by loving others and spending time with Him in prayer and in the Word. God becomes our Father and we are his beloved child. Now which one of these two relationships with God does He prefer? A loving relationship, of course!

There is an even deeper level of relationship that the Christian is called to. Jesus refers to it in His great "abide in in me and I in you" passage of scripture John 15. The apostle Paul refers to it regularly as we are "in Christ" and Christ is in us {Ephesians 1, Colossians 3:3}.  The highest level of relationship the believer must seek is to connect with God "in Christ" by allowing the Spirit of God to flow in and through us that we may be, as Peter says, "partakers of the Divine nature" {2 Peter 1:4}. It is here where true intimacy and connection with God takes place when we surrender our lives, we submit our wills, and we allow the life of Jesus to flow in and through us.

Similarly, levels of relationship apply to a Christian marriage, and an egalitarian marriage demands no deep connections, no vulnerability, no intimacy, but rather a set of relationship rules that seem equitable and fair towards one another. To treat each other with respect and with love and equality, but such a marriage is second best to what God has designed for us. 

God's design for marriage models the Godhead where the Father, the Son and the Spirit are all equals, yet the Son voluntarily lays down his rights and privileges as the Son of God to become a man and to not only save the world from it's sins, but to unite an entire family of God into one body, His body, the body of Christ. This union moves beyond obedience, beyond love, to a place where spirits are united as one; where the world may look at Christians and see a deep and abiding connection with God that makes them naturally model the attributes of their Creator and Savior.

When God asks His children to believe His truth about a husband's headship and a wife's submission, He is encouraging us to move beyond the normal marriage to a place of true connections. Just as the Godhead is One, so too is the husband and wife and the Spirit of Christ living in and through them. This is a true union for the world to see how God can and does unite us to Himself. 

If life is about what we can get out of it, maybe even obey God in most things, and love God, then an egalitarian marriage may work just fine for those who make it work. But if life is about seeking the deepest of connections between God and His children, then we must trust Him fully at His Word and step out in faith to be a part of His body and His marriage. An egalitarian marriage is all about "our marriage," but a one flesh marriage is where the husband is head and the wife his loving complement united as one with Christ, obedient to His truths, and experiencing the very Spirit of God flowing in and through their marriage. The trust and vulnerability of wifely submission is picked up by her faithful, loving husband who is willing, like Christ, to lay down his life for her.  A one flesh marriage is about "His marriage," and the desire to do marriage exactly how God prescribes it for the betterment of His body, and His precious married children.

Lori and I have been through a marriage of a wife's control, to an egalitarian partnership, and now to a Biblical one flesh marriage where Lori has everything to gain from her husband's complete devotion and selfless love for his God-given compliment in life. Lori is exactly who God knew I needed to grow up in Christ and become one with Him, not as an individual, but as a loving, united and fully connected couple.

Is this not God's will and His truths? Is this not God's heart for us all to give up self and unite ourselves in willing submission to His Spirit that we may be One with Him in our one flesh marriage?

That they all may be one; as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be one in us... And the glory which you gave me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:  I in them and you in me, that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that you have sent me, and have loved me, and have loved them, as you have loved me. 
John 17:21-23

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Teaching Children to be Kind


As a former teacher, a common question I {TheJoyFilledWife} am often asked by other parents is how early I think children should be enrolled in preschool in order to have an academic and social advantage in the years to come. In almost every instance, parents are dumbfounded when I tell them that attending preschool is not the preparatory step that will launch their children into educational and social success. Most children, whether they attend preschool or not, are on academically similar levels once they enter Kindergarten age. To be honest, the children I’ve seen with the academic and social advantages over the years are the those who spend the most quality time with their parents and family members reading books, using their imaginations, learning to serve, and having meaningful conversations. These experiences build confidence, impart wisdom, and increase a child’s mental and emotional capacity. Emphasize Bible teaching, listen to lots of music, and incorporate plenty of physical play time, and you will almost assuredly see a marked difference in a child’s capacity and performance.

For those of you who are pondering ways to provide your children with meaningful social interactions that will help build confidence and social skills, it should bring you a sigh of relief to know that there doesn’t have to be any formality to your child’s training in order for it to be effective. When I’m out with my children and other adults ask me how my kids are so friendly and able to carry on intelligent conversations with adults, it’s not because they have naturally social personalities or because they’ve taken any courses in conversing. It’s simply the byproduct of intentionally using our day to day errands and interactions to engage with others, ask questions, have meaningful conversations, and make an effort to brighten the day of whomever we come into contact with. Our children know that each of us is a walking example of Christ’s forgiveness and love and we strive to emulate that to each person God puts in our path throughout the day.

My husband and I do not allow our children to act shy, ignore, or be unresponsive to those around them.  Each person we come into contact with is deserving of a pleasant smile, a thoughtful answer, or a sincere compliment. Just like any habit we develop, it doesn’t always come easy at first, but we soon find it enjoyable as we see how even the smallest acts of kindness can make a big difference to a world full of hurting people who long to know that their life truly matters to someone. What an opportunity we have as parents and believers in Christ to help our precious children cultivate a heart for others and come to see the value in each and every person we meet!

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Colossians 3:12
picture source

Friday, March 27, 2015

Difficulty of Being an Older Woman


It's not easy being an older woman trying to teach young women in this day and age. Submission is a dirty word. Keepers at home doesn't really mean being at home. Modesty doesn't include bikinis since everyone wears bikinis and children should be able to rule the home. Firm discipline is a no-no.

I teach things so contrary to even Christian women. All of the excuses I mentioned above have been thrown at me by Christian women. If you want to be an older woman who teaches young women, you must develop a tough outer shell and be confident in what you teach. Many older women just don't feel they can do it. It's difficult but knowing I teach the Truth of God's unchanging Word, having Ken's support, along with my Mom and Dad and many others, helps tremendously!

Satan has so manipulated the word submission that it is barely recognizable today. Most Christian marriages don't want to say there is one leader in the home. Both spouses are the leader. Little do they realize that a submissive wife is a strong woman. It takes strength to give up your will and trust your husband to lead. It takes strength to honor and resepect his wishes knowing that when you obey your husband, you are obeying God.

Many older women have a difficult time teaching young women to be keepers at home since they have careers and are hardly ever home. God commands older women to teach young women and I know this is a ministry that is badly needed in our churches today. Yes, I realize some women have no choice but to work. I am addressing those older women who want to work so they can have more money and stuff, instead of ministering to the young women around them in any way they can.

Modesty means different things to different peoples and cultures. The best way to find out what modesty is is to ask a godly man his honest opinion. He will most likely tell you the more flesh, the more difficult it is to not lust. Bikinis are NOT modest.

Concerning children; no, parents are to rule the roost. When children rule, chaos reigns. It isn't easy to discipline your children but it is something that needs to be done. 

If God commands that older women teach young women, it only makes sense that young women should have teachable hearts, willing to listen to older women who have good marriages and raised godly children. If you can't listen to them and trust their wisdom and experience, who can you listen to?

I just received this comment from a woman who I shared these thoughts with, "I agree, we need more women not repackaging the Word, as to not offend modern Christian women. Modern? God is timeless and His Word transcends the ages. Modern is an excuse to continue living from a position of "self," packaged as new and improved. How quickly we forget how appealing deception is; one of the empty promises of sin. Continue boldly speaking and teaching Truth. What a mighty ministry you have been entrusted to carry out. As Pastor Bob often reminds us, 'If the Truth is not acceptable to you, you are welcome to leave.'" ;-)

For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; 
but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, 
having itching ears.
2 Timothy 4:3

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Feminist's Lie ~ "It's All About You!"


Sarah Ellis, in her best selling book The Women of England: Their Social Duties and Domestic Habits {1839}, articulated a set of widely accepted beliefs about the "natural" roles of men and women; in this formulation, men are "naturally" suited to striving in the public world to advance themselves and their families, while the "innate" moral beauty and selflessness of women make them ideally suited to the vocation of the home and raising children.

After reading this, I thought about all the ways we, as a society, have suffered since departing from these well-defined God-given roles between the sexes. First, let's take the issue of women getting an education. I am all for women getting educated. The problem comes with WHERE they get educated. If they are educated in the public school system, they are in a school that is mandated to be anti-God which is completely opposite of what God has commanded we teach our children and who we should be learning from.

I believe women should have the opportunity to become teachers and nurses or whatever they want if that is what they desire as long as they can leave these professions without a lot of school debt when they get married and have children. I am seeing too many women so wrapped up in their education and career that when the man of their dream comes along, they can't pick up and leave to be with him. He is now saddled with her huge debt load and many times trying to fit his schedule into hers. She was created to be his help meet, not the other way around. 

Women working before they get married is okay if this is what they want to do. Even once they get married, it is probably okay as long as they can be the help meet in every way to their husband that the Lord has called them to be. Are they able to keep their homes neat and tidy? Are they able to fix nourishing meals? Are they able to have the energy for many intimate times with their husband? Are they free to have and raise children as soon as they get married? 

Every couple must ask these questions and make sure their marriage and raising godly offspring is a top priority. Way too often, couples put their marriage and having children on the back burner and financial wealth as a priority. "Our society is so captivated with earning money, having money, and spending money that we can think of nothing else. NOTHING in Scripture and in the chosen lifestyle of Christ could be clearer: Wealth is NOT an objective of the spiritual life" {Dr. Richard Swenson}.

Once women have children, however, I believe wholeheartedly that they need to be home full-time with their children since they are the ones with the God-given qualities children need as they are growing up and every indication from the Word shows us that God intends mothers to be the ones raising their children, since they know them best and love them the most.

Feminists lied to women and made them think life was all about us. It is NOT all about us. When we only think about ourselves, our happiness, and our fulfillment as the feminist movement promised, destruction lies in its wake. When women wanted to become men and "strive in the public world to advance themselves," many of them left their homes and families in the dust. We can see the consequences of this all around us. Divorce has skyrocketed, single mothers are becoming more the norm than the exception, and latch-key children are coming home to cold, empty homes with no training or supervision.

The words by Sarah Ellis correspond to God's given roles for the sexes. He built us differently for different roles. Children need their mothers just as much as mothers need their children. When mothers work, the husband is the one neglected. When the husband is neglected, divorce is too often the outcome. When divorce happens, the children suffer greatly. The only person made happy with mothers working outside of the home is the mother who fell for the lie that it's all about her. Everyone else, including society, has suffered. 

Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine within your house, 
Your children like olive plants around your table.
Psalm 128:3

***I realize that some mothers have to work, however, 
God's ideal is something we should all strive to fulfill since His ways are best.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Stretching Her Husband's Hard Earned Income


She is an amazing woman who made an incredibly long comment on my post Making It On One Income. {You might want to go read it along with all the other wonderful comments!} She does everything she can to live within her husband's income even if it means sacrificing some of the pleasures in life. Most women today simply put things on their credit card, thus digging their family deeper and deeper into debt. This is NOT a good way to live. Stuff will never bring happiness and debt makes us a slave. Why not learn from this very thrifty woman! Here, in her words, is how she does it.

We breastfeed, use cloth diapers, napkins, 'mama cloth', 'family cloth', line dry, solar cook, burn wood for heat that we harvest ourselves. We cook on the wood stove, buy all clothes that we NEED second hand {except socks and underwear}. We pick as many wild blackberries as we can during the summer and freeze them. 

I make my own cleaning products, personal care products, and most condiments. I would also add that we have a child with multiple severe food allergies, and I do buy our staple foods in organic versions and make all my own baked goods, treats, etc. from healthier ingredients. 

We have SLOW Internet, no cable. No smart phones. No fancy gadgets. We do have newer vehicles, one that we are still paying on, and my hubby just bought a motorcycle for its fuel efficiency for his commute. We have a small backyard flock of chickens for egg and for meat. 

We use natural lighting and open the windows when it gets hot; we don't turn the A/C on until it gets to 85 degrees. We unplug all of our electronics when not in use, except for the fridge, upright freezer, alarm clock and the electricity that runs our well pump. My kids don't do organized sports. If they get a gift that they really don't like, we store it to re-gift to a friend. We don't do big birthday parties; just milestone birthdays. We limit their Christmas gifts to 5 things; a want, a need, a wear, a book and a new Christmas ornament. 

Vacations consist of visiting family in another state. We limit driving. We limit eating out, or impulse shopping; we stick to the grocery list. If the kids don't leave the house or play outside, they don't take baths. When they do bathe, they share bathwater. I clean the shower with baking soda when I take my shower. We ask for new shoes from grandparents at birthdays and Christmas. 

I work at our local YMCA to get a free family membership. We got rid of all of our carpeting so I could just sweep the floor and not have to use electricity to vacuum. We hardly ever, ever go to the movies, if we do its the second run theater. We don't have expensive hobbies, or participate in expensive activities. I sell things we no longer need on EBay. I could go on and on. I'm always looking for ways not necessarily to SAVE money, but to stretch my husband's hard earned income more. 

Moreover it is required in stewards,
that a man be found faithful.
I Corinthians 4:2

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

What Do You Wish Your Parents Did Differently?


In the chat room, I asked the women, "If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?" Not ONE woman said that she wished her mom had a career and worked more from outside the home so they could have more stuff. Not one said they wished they had more fast food and came home to an empty home. Not one wished her parents would have gotten divorced.

Many shared how they wished their mom taught them how to cook and clean. Some wished their mom was home more and gave them more chores to learn responsibility. They wish their parents got along better and didn't argue. Some would have loved being raised in a Christian home. Here are some of the comments in their own words. {I removed their names to protect their privacy.} May we learn from them!

I was never made to do anything; never had chores or had to clean anything. Anytime I was told to clean my room or something, if I didn't do it, mom would do it for me. Never was punished or made to do anything. Learning to keep my house clean was a huge challenge for me. Still is.

I wish I would have learned to cook more, too. I pretty much had to teach myself. I have a lot of the same struggles.

My parents prioritized high grades over keeping my room clean, chores, and cooking. Great idea for raising an independent woman; not so great for training as a future stay-at-home mom. I didn't even know how to make pancakes from a box mix when I got married! I also wished I would have learned to sew while I lived at home and could ask my mom.

I wish my mom had taught me how to keep a home. She didn't ever teach me how to cook, clean, sew or anything. She didn't know how to do any of these things herself, so I grew up in a filthy home and eating TV dinners the majority of the time.

That they were more demonstrative with their love; meaning hugs and kisses. That dad was more of the leader of the family in certain areas.

I wish my mom would've been at home. Both my parents worked two jobs a piece until I was in high school. I was left to fend for myself while my little sister was in daycare. Children shouldn't be responsible for raising themselves.

That my parents had a second child and raised me in church.

To be raised in a Christian home and taught about Christ. Although my parents were/are awesome, they weren't Christian. I didn't get saved until about 4 years ago and didn't regularly go to church until around that time either.

I wish we had healthier meals. We ate too much fast food as we were always busy. Also, I wish I was allowed to be a kid more, instead of being forced to take sides in my parent's disagreements.

Are there some things you wish your parents did differently while raising you? It is good to learn from other's mistakes so we don't make the same while raising our children!

That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing,
 being fruitful in every good work, 
and increasing in the knowledge of God.
Colossians 1:10

Monday, March 23, 2015

A Warm Home is a Comfortable Home


My Mom's home was warm and comfortable. People loved coming to our home when I was growing up. All of her furniture was very comfortable. She always had a big bowl of salad for people to help themselves to and big canisters of raw nuts and dried fruit on the counter. {She's always been a health nut!} She loved entertaining and feeding people. She fell in love with all of our boyfriends and was heartbroken when the breakup occurred. Our boyfriends all loved her also! She made people feel welcome in her home and had an open door policy. She was available to whoever stopped by for a visit.

My sister, Alisa, is the same way. She loves having people over. In fact, her home is almost always filled with company. Since her malignant melanoma diagnosis, she eats completely different. She is in her kitchen often fixing nourishing, healthy food for her family and anyone who drops in. When Alisa talks with you, she looks you in the eyes and carefully listens. She trained her children to do the same. She asks questions about your life. She isn't distracted by other things. She won't leave to answer a phone when you are talking to her. She makes you feel like you are her best friend. She makes people feel loved. This is why she has MANY friends. Plus, she is SO generous. In the evening, she has her fireplace lit and people gather around eating and having a wonderful time. Her home is always warm and comfortable. My other sister, Debbi, is the same way. She loves to have people over and is extremely generous and loving towards others.

When I choose furniture, it HAS to be comfortable. I care way more about comfort than style. When I am up to it, I love to have people over. We have had many family parties here. For awhile, when most of my children were around, I would have them all over for lunch after church and anyone else who needed a warm place to eat home cooked food. 

We are called to hospitality. Our homes should be places that people can come and feel loved and cared for. Our homes shouldn't be in constant disarray so we feel uncomfortable having people over. We need to discipline ourselves to keep our homes as clean and tidy as possible, if we are able. We need to love others earnestly, as the Bible commands. Our homes should be known as places that others come and feel warm and comfortable.

But hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, 
upright, holy, and disciplined.
Titus 1:8

More posts in my Home Series.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Learning from Two Joyful Women!


There is one thing I notice that is very similar between Kelly Bates and Michelle Duggar. They are both very joyful! When they sit next to their husbands, they cuddle with them, hold their hands, and laugh a lot, especially Kelly with Gil. Both of their voices are gentle and sweet. They always seem to be optimistic about life.

Isn't this the way we all should be? God's Word tells us, "The joy of the Lord is your strength" {Nehemiah 8:10} and "This is the day that the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it!" {Psalm 118:24}. Our sins have all been paid for, we are new creatures in Christ and we know how it all ends! We should be the happiest people on earth.

If our children don't see the joy of the Lord in us, who will they see it in? Don't let them be attracted to the false pleasures of this world. Our children should be able to see Jesus in us. My mom always made loving Jesus look like the best thing in the world. Loving Him IS the best thing in the world. If these two women who both have 19 children can be joyful and happy, so can we.

Another verse that should impact our lives is found in Psalm 141:3, "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips." I have noticed that these two women are always positive with their words. Of course, we don't know what goes on behind closed doors but seeing how happy all of their children are, they are certainly doing many things right and we can learn from them.

God wants us to be very careful with the words we speak. We should be known for only speaking words of life, not of death. Also remember, our joy doesn't come from our circumstances, seeking the pleasures of this life or going on an expensive vacation. Our joy comes from making a choice to dwell on the lovely and the good and reminding ourselves of all the riches we have in Christ!

And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in you heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always...
Ephesians 5:18-20

***The picture is my granddaughter holding two bunny heating pads we just made! Buy a $4 stuffed bunny at your local drug store. Rip out a small 2 - 3 inch seam on the bottom; take out all the stuffing from the head, arms and legs and then fill it with wheat berries or brown rice. Sew it back up. Pop it into the microwave for 50 seconds and your children will have a warm bunny to snuggle and sleep with! My grandchildren LOVE them! My granddaughter is only four so the bunnies look much bigger than they actually are. From the top of the head to the bottom of the feet, they measure nine inches stretched out.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Giving Up Babies for Hobbies?


Apparently more men want children than women do today. Feminism has worked. Children are no longer wanted. I actually shed some tears when I read When Men Want Kids and Women Aren't So Sure. It breaks my heart that society has come to this. Women would rather be able to read a book, have a career, and have hobbies over raising precious children. Our four children have been our greatest source of joy on this earth.

The article states, "Lauren is part of a growing cohort of women: those in their late 20s and early 30s who aren't sure about - or are decidedly against- becoming mothers. In a nationally representative survey of single, childless people in 2011, more men than women said they wanted kids. On the other hand, more women reported seeking independence in their relationships, personal space, interests, and hobbies."

This article talked about how most marriages are egalitarian marriages where they share the responsibilities and there is no leader but, of course, more of the responsibility of the home and child raising falls on the women. I wonder why??? No matter how far away our society gets from God's principles, you can still see glimpses of them sometimes because this is how we were created; in His image.

Thank you, mothers, who are sacrificing your bodies, your time, your talents, and your hobbies to raise precious children for the Lord. Thank you for not going along with what society is doing and coming home, if you can, to raise your babies in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. Thank you for taking the home and childcare responsibilities seriously and being a help meet to your husband. Thank you so very much for honoring and obeying God's principles. 

You are lights in a dark world. You bring hope to a lost world. Your impact is gigantic. You are raising the next godly generation of soldiers for the Lord. NEVER think that changing another diaper, folding another load of laundry, fixing another meal and then cleaning up is worthless. 

Remember these words by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, "Jesus sanctified work, hard work, manual work, grunt work, mundane work, routine work done to the glory of God...Work is a great thing; it's a beautiful thing done for the glory of God. It's an assignment from God to glorify Him here on this earth."

Your work is to raise godly offspring for the Lord {if you are blessed with them}, keep a neat and tidy home, fix nourishing food, and most importantly, be a help meet to your husband {if you are married}.

I just want to thank you again, women, from the bottom of my heart. May God bless you abundantly! You are doing a mighty job and one day these verses will be said about you ~

She looketh well to the ways of her household, 
and eateth not the bread of idleness. 
Her children arise up, 
and call her blessed; 
her husband also, and he praiseth her. 
Many daughters have done virtuously, 
but thou excellest them all.
Proverbs 31:27-29

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Millennials are Hungry for Success


"Bethany Mota was on Forbes Magazine. When you're on Forbes cover, you've made it and she's 18 years old! There's 80 million Millennials; a huge population that are hungry for success...incredibly entrepreneurial, very collective and collaborative because of social media." These words were said by Chelsea Krost. She's defending the Millennials as not all being narcissists, lazy and entitled as many are labeling them.

Therefore, their definition of success is making a ton of money and becoming famous so they can buy a ton of stuff and live like they want. "They want to follow their passion" and "find out what makes them happy. We don't want to settle in a job that is paying our bills if we're not happy" so they change jobs frequently. Many young women have taken up this goal of worldly success instead of desiring to get married and having a family while they are young and fertile. I am sure some of them want a family but AFTER they have started their career and then have someone else raise their babies. If after they get married and they aren't "happy," they'll simply get a divorce.

The definition of narcissism is "an extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type." What she described as Millennials seems fairly narcissist in my opinion! If they're pursuing happiness, no wonder so many of them aren't working in any job they can find and instead living with Mom and Dad until their dream job appears that will make them "happy."

There was a recent study that found 82% of parents did chores growing up; now only 28% require their children to do chores. The reason is due to the emphasis on extracurricular activities and not enough time for chores. The study also found that chores are one of the most important predictors of future success; teaching self-reliance, responsibility and empathy. No wonder this generation is in trouble!

Compare this to my grandmother's generation; those who went through the Great Depression. They were covenant keepers. They kept their marriage vows. They worked hard not expecting to be "happy" but to put food on the table and a roof over their heads. They feared God and most tried living lives that were pleasing to Him, not to themselves. Most of them wouldn't even think about using birth control for baby control.

Romans 1 teaches the progression towards ruin of those who walk away from God's ways, while fully aware that there is a God. Creation proves there is a Creator, yet they are not thankful. They continue to make choices against obeying God so God turns them over to their lusts, gives them a reprobate mind and they become lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. Romans 1:31 states they are "without understanding, covenant breakers..." Many Millennials, including all generations after the 60s, are covenant breakers. They think nothing about breaking their marriage vows and not having children. If they are not "happy," they leave their spouse. If they are not "happy" in their jobs, they look for another one. If they are not "happy" being pregnant, they abort their baby.

So how can you raise your children to be like my grandparents generation? Don't give them everything they want. Teach them to work hard; right next to you as you work around the home. Teach them God's Word. Model contentment, so they will be content. Model joyfulness, so they will be joyful. Tell them that trying to find "happiness" in this world is a DEAD END road that leads to destruction.  Instead, teach them these beautiful promises from the Lord ~

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. 
Proverbs 1:1-3

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! 
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! 
Psalm 34:8

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock. 
Isaiah 26:3, 4

Teach your children to build their lives upon the Rock! 
He is the ONLY way to true peace and joy.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Is Her Role Any Less Noble?


This post is Ken's view on being a "keeper at home."

The biblical validity of a wife working or not working outside the home seems quite clear from the scriptures when a family has children at home. Generally, this should be clear for the vast majority of Christian wives and is only not clear for wives before they have children and after the children are grown.

There is no greater treasure to God than the raising of the next generation of godly believers. This great responsibility falls on the shoulders of both parents, but moms are most naturally equipped to raise the children, and God has asked that wives be "keepers at home." Until Christians begin to realize this great calling placed on mothers, we will never get Christian mothers back in their homes full-time. Beyond this, staying at home much of the day to be with the children and working to hide God's Word in their hearts.

Think about it for a moment with me and I am sure you will see that far too many families are instilling television, video games, kid's sports, daycare and other activities, but the idea of actually raising the next generation of the children of God is somewhat missing, except perhaps for the once a week Sunday School class. Certainly children learn a lot by watching and listening to their parents, but how many Christian parents can truthfully say that they are fulfilling Deuteronomy 11:19?

You shall teach (God’s precepts) to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

This is one of the most vital verses in the entire Bible that cannot be violated and expect God’s blessings upon the next generation of the children of God. I see it as almost impossible to keep this precept if a mother with children is regularly away from her children and home.

Don’t misunderstand that I am okay with women working outside the home if they so choose, because I am not responsible for how others live their lives before God.  If a working mom tells me she has to work, or that God is okay with her working, then that is a matter for her own conscience before God. What Lori is doing is appealing to the conscience of Christian women and asking them to think and pray about what is truly most important to God, what will please Him most, and what will be a mother’s greatest treasures later in this life and the life to come.

Some believe that by the way Lori and I teach certain of God’s principles that we are being legalistic and judgmental, and that is far from the truth. It pains us to watch so many Christian families be lied to by the world that somehow a working Mom can have it all. Somehow she can raise the next generation of the children of God and work full-time. We see this like Russian Roulette. Is it possible to work outside the home and raise godly children? You bet, and it has been proven that it can be done by some pretty talented women who can both juggle it all, and carry the heavy burdens placed upon their shoulders. And are there not far too many failures and still born baby Christians in families where moms worked? Where their children go off to college and the workforce and the roots planted by their parents are too shallow to withstand the hurricane force winds of the world beckoning these precious gifts from God to come join the harlot that rides the beast. Wealth, fame, ego, materialism, sex, and everything the world has to offer becomes a shimmering hook that some of our Christian children survive, but far too many show an aborted heart of a seed that sprang up, but could not survive.

No, we are not fatalist who believe that somehow God has his children all locked up forever before they were born. We do accept God’s election, but we do not fully understand how God’s predestination fits with our human responsibility as Christian parents. Besides, it is a moot point. For is not the Christian life trying to please God in everything? If this is true, what pleases God most, in most families, is to have mom at home raising her children to love Jesus, and to be deeply rooted in Christ before they leave home. This is a huge and noble responsibility not given to the few, but the many Christian wives and mothers. Let’s take it seriously.

If you are called to be the exception, so be it. Do what the Lord is calling you to do, and if your conscience does not condemn you, neither do we. But please allow us and others to inform your conscience so that you may make the right decisions to please the Lord in all you do, especially in raising the next generation for God. It is the truth that will set you free, and so long as Christian parents do not know the truth of their huge calling and responsibility to raise God’s children, they will act in blindness and not in the light of God’s Word. Tell us that you have prayerfully sought the Lord for a decision to work outside the home, and that you have carefully thought through your primary responsibility as wife and mother and believe you can achieve it all without missing out on God’s greatest blessings. If God is telling you that you are an exception to His general will on this matter, then we will cheer you on to whatever you feel the Lord is calling you to do, yet all the while reminding Christians everywhere of their first calling to create and build the family of God, not personal wealth, ego and happiness.

As I loaded my precious little grandchildren into the car last night, and went from window to window teasing them with a smile, just to see them laugh and grin from ear to ear with their Papa, their mother said to me, “Aren’t they just so precious?” I agreed and ask, “Would you rather be working full time right now?” A great big smile came across her face as she acknowledged that no work could ever fulfill the joy and happiness that being full-time with her babies brings her. Smart, talented, hard worker, straight “A” student who could have been at the top of any career she would have chosen, and she was perhaps headed that way, until God gave her a honeymoon baby who has been the greatest joy in all our lives the last four years.  Sure it’s tough, especially when the second baby comes along and soon a third, but who do you want raising the next generation of godly children if it is not the smartest, brightest and best? Don’t think for an instant that a stay-at-home mom is in any way inferior to a man, or that her role is in any way less noble. In our minds, it is more noble and more God pleasing than almost any career for a man or woman.  It is the essence of why marriage exists, to raise godly offspring.

Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.
Malachi 2:15

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Are These Wives Really Single Mothers?


Many stay-at-home wives and mothers complain because their husbands are rarely home. Their husbands leave early in the morning and come home late at night, working for their family. The women are so frustrated that their husbands aren't there to help with the housework and the children. Often they say that they feel like single mothers.

I think they need to ask single mothers about this. Single mothers have to be the providers, protectors and nurturers, taking care of all the details at home on top of paying the bills. There is NO comparison! Sure it's difficult raising children without their Daddy home much but it's a lot easier than having to leave the home every day and having to go to a job on top of all the home and children's obligations.

Men carry a heavy burden of caring for and providing for their families. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, especially when they are young and starting their careers. They will always feel the burden of having to provide. The more you can appreciate this fact, the more content you will be and so very thankful that you have a husband who provides for you.

There are women leaving their husbands over this and even divorcing them. I know some. Their husbands are gone too much. When they do watch the children, they don't do a good job. The children eat Cheerios for dinner and are put to bed in their daytime clothes. The sink is full of dishes. Instead of being upset over these things and maybe even thinking of divorcing him because of this, thank him for watching the children for you.

Women are commanded to be keepers at home, not men. It is our responsibility and theirs is to provide for the family. We should not destroy the peace of our home by being continually angry with our husbands. If your husband works hard so you can stay home full-time with your children, you are a very blessed woman. Thank him often. Never take him for granted. 

Men show love to their wives and children by working hard and providing for them. Yes, flowers, candles and romance are nice but it is not what builds a strong, solid marriage and family. Hard work builds a marriage and family. Sometimes you are both exhausted at the end of the day. Fall into each other's arms, thankful for the life the Good Lord has blessed you with and smile often! There are many women out there who would love a husband like yours who works hard to provide for his family.

By wisdom a house is built, 
and by understanding it is established; 
by knowledge the rooms are filled 
with all precious and pleasant riches.
Proverbs 24:3, 4