Friday, March 20, 2015

Giving Up Babies for Hobbies?


Apparently more men want children than women do today. Feminism has worked. Children are no longer wanted. I actually shed some tears when I read When Men Want Kids and Women Aren't So Sure. It breaks my heart that society has come to this. Women would rather be able to read a book, have a career, and have hobbies over raising precious children. Our four children have been our greatest source of joy on this earth.

The article states, "Lauren is part of a growing cohort of women: those in their late 20s and early 30s who aren't sure about - or are decidedly against- becoming mothers. In a nationally representative survey of single, childless people in 2011, more men than women said they wanted kids. On the other hand, more women reported seeking independence in their relationships, personal space, interests, and hobbies."

This article talked about how most marriages are egalitarian marriages where they share the responsibilities and there is no leader but, of course, more of the responsibility of the home and child raising falls on the women. I wonder why??? No matter how far away our society gets from God's principles, you can still see glimpses of them sometimes because this is how we were created; in His image.

Thank you, mothers, who are sacrificing your bodies, your time, your talents, and your hobbies to raise precious children for the Lord. Thank you for not going along with what society is doing and coming home, if you can, to raise your babies in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. Thank you for taking the home and childcare responsibilities seriously and being a help meet to your husband. Thank you so very much for honoring and obeying God's principles. 

You are lights in a dark world. You bring hope to a lost world. Your impact is gigantic. You are raising the next godly generation of soldiers for the Lord. NEVER think that changing another diaper, folding another load of laundry, fixing another meal and then cleaning up is worthless. 

Remember these words by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, "Jesus sanctified work, hard work, manual work, grunt work, mundane work, routine work done to the glory of God...Work is a great thing; it's a beautiful thing done for the glory of God. It's an assignment from God to glorify Him here on this earth."

Your work is to raise godly offspring for the Lord {if you are blessed with them}, keep a neat and tidy home, fix nourishing food, and most importantly, be a help meet to your husband {if you are married}.

I just want to thank you again, women, from the bottom of my heart. May God bless you abundantly! You are doing a mighty job and one day these verses will be said about you ~

She looketh well to the ways of her household, 
and eateth not the bread of idleness. 
Her children arise up, 
and call her blessed; 
her husband also, and he praiseth her. 
Many daughters have done virtuously, 
but thou excellest them all.
Proverbs 31:27-29

Comments (24)

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Lady Virtue's avatar

Lady Virtue · 523 weeks ago

Lori, I can certainly understand why you wept after reading the article to which you linked. The selfishness of the women quoted is astounding. It's very likely they will one day regret the procrastination and end up childless.
1 reply · active 523 weeks ago
Agreed. The joy they are passing up by having children is so very sad.
I have an aunt who did not want children. Her husband went along with her decision even though he wanted them. He was a very nice man. He suffered an untimely death when she was probably in her late 40s and left her all alone. She has since mentioned how she wishes she had had children. Very sad.

But with as sad as the childless by choice folks are, in one way I am glad they are not having them. I think it is regrettable but then I think people with self centered principles would not do a good job of raising children anyway and it is probably better that we have their genes die off anyway. I apologize for the morbidity of that. So in a couple of generations I can see where those who valued children and had lots of them will actually be the ones who run the world. Perhaps some of this worldly "wisdom" will die off in a generation or so.
1 reply · active 523 weeks ago
To me, it's just so sad that their selfishness has blinded them so much that they see nothing but fulfilling themselves and their desires.
It reminds me of a birth control advertisement shown in magazines. There's a twenty something old woman who has her camera in a baby swing at the playground and the caption says "This is my baby now". I just think its silly, but also very sad :( I could never see how a camera or a photography hobby/career could fill the place of your child.
1 reply · active 523 weeks ago
It never can, Cori, especially when they are old and gray and lonely.
Thank you for encouraging the younger women and lifting them up!
As an older woman, I will continue to encourage those younger women that I know to press on! Because of you Lori, today, I will send encouragement to several young mothers that I know.
1 reply · active 523 weeks ago
You're welcome, Christine. I know motherhood is the more difficult path but nothing worthwhile or long-lasting comes without hardship. I'm afraid many women will discover this truth too late.
The article you linked to makes me so glad I gave up college and my hobbies to have my babies! Motherhood has changed me into a kinder, wiser, more patient person.

As a child I remember loving to play with baby dolls. I took them everywhere. In my teens I was the only girl in school who asked for bath towels, dishes, etc. for Christmas to put in an old trunk I called my hope chest.

When I left for college I was 18, unwed and 5 months pregnant. I didn't want to go to college but what I heard from the women around me was children are cute but they are a burden. You should be more than "just" a mother. A woman needed a career for a back up plan. She should find a career where she can have the best of both worlds. I didn't want that. The men around me were no better. I was told that a woman needed to have a job to "earn her keep."

I remember being in my early twenties happily married to my husband (yes we did get married and he is the father of all my children) with 2 beautiful little girls at that time and writing in a notebook this sentence. "What is wrong with me that I just want to be a wife and a mother?" Even though I was so happy everyone was telling me I was wrong to stay home with my babies. Makes me sad to see my 21 year old daughter being told the same lies by women today.

I turned 40 recently and 6 months ago gave birth to my 9th baby. How wonderful my 40th birthday was with a new baby, 8 other children, a wonderful son in law and an adorable grandson to celebrate with me.

Motherhood is so precious and I have never regretted my decision to stay home and dedicate my life to my family. I am saddened that the world thinks so little of it.
1 reply · active 523 weeks ago
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing, Anna Mary! Motherhood does change us in good ways if we allow it too. All I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother also. It's heartbreaking that young girls aren't allowed to have this dream anymore.
ContentWife's avatar

ContentWife · 523 weeks ago

Thank you, Lori, for your encouragement! We young mothers of many little ones don't get much of that. Your blog has been such a blessing in my life the past few years. God bless you.
1 reply · active 523 weeks ago
Thank you, ContentWife! I love doing it.
Well, I commend you, Lori, on your diligent research. You are taking your Titus 2 role v seriously with all these interesting articles and topics.

I went to the article. The comments were sadder than the original piece. So many angry women, suspicious of men and their motives! So many of them made anti-male comments, asserting that men would not want to have babies so badly if they "had to" get pregnant, have morning sickness etc etc... They are wrong -- we GET TO have babies, give birth etc. See, look what a difference a little modifying verb makes?

I felt a little sorry for my husband when our babies moved inside and he couldn't feel it. He never got to feel that weird gurgling sensation when the milk flows out during a feed. He never got to feel a warm little hand resting on the breast as the baby steadies himself.

There is a tragic resistance to life-affirming attitudes. It goes further than having a child or not, because these women are already in relationships that deny the life of a united home. I did notice that a lot of them were shacking up with their boyfriends, as if he is only in their lives on a trial basis. Denying the warmth of Christ-like interdependence is anti-life in itself. Jesus did say that our words and deeds come from the "abundance of a man's heart".

PS Your posts on homemaking have inspired me to greater efforts. Hopefully my family will see a difference!
1 reply · active 523 weeks ago
Wonderful words, Anthea. If young women were taught all the many blessings of being a wife and mother instead of being modeled divorce and the inconvenience of children, there would be a lot more content women having children and loving their husbands.
Yes thank you Ladies, that stay home and honour their husbands, nurture their families, run their household. You will never be sorry you made that choice. You're an inspiration and encouragement to many.
1 reply · active 523 weeks ago
In my city on the west coast, women have dogs as substitute children. It is common to see couples walking "their" dog together. Demographically, my city is a mess because there are so few children anywhere. Yesterday I saw a woman holding a dog in her arms and cuddling it like it was her baby! I even see people (usually older ladies) with dogs in strollers meant for children.
I had the opportunity along with my siblings to nurse my mother through hospice care. Would a pet be capable of doing that?
1 reply · active 523 weeks ago
No, it would not. I think dogs are great if you can't have a baby to fill that void but if they're getting dogs to fill the void since they don't want babies, that is very sad.
This post hit me very hard today. I won't ever be able to have children and I do have dogs. I've been told that I'm a pet parent. Yes, I train dogs, and even teach classes in dog obedience. One of the things that I'm always teaching my students is that their dog is not a child. Yes, a dog thinks, but it is a different species. I would have loved to have had children and will be the first to tell you that pets won't fill the void. Lori, keep telling about God's truth. Marry young and have babies. A career and pets will never fill that void.
As a woman whose only dream was to be a mother to many...this is very painful. To give up the chance of motherhood for something that will burn and be meaningless in the end breaks my heart.
Hello, No hobby or any job will ever fulfill what God has put in the hearts of a women open to God's leading. But self interest is the golden calf now days. But if even one young women can see and hear the truth of why we were able to bear children, you have saved a life!
Motherhood is the toughest and yet has the greatest rewards in this entire world...
Thank you for all the hard truths you teach!
Roxy
Our children are the joy of our lives. We love and cherish our two girls, but we would dearly love to have had more. Whenever I see a big family (a rare sight these days) I always tell the parents how wonderful it is to see a big family and may God bless them and their children. Some moms have shared with me that they have been treated unkindly, in the form of sarcastic comments such as "....you know what's causing that, right?" No mother should ever have that said to her. We need each and every one of those children in our churches and our communities!
I'm disgusted with the anti-baby rhetoric of today. It isn't just in the world, it is in the church. I imagine that God isn't pleased hearing women talk of His creation in that way and how inconvenient it is that He made them a woman with a womb! Some women long for children so desperately and are unable to have them and to see others just throw it away is heart-breaking.
Thanks

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