Should Ken Meet My Deepest Needs?

For many years after I married Ken, I was VERY unhappy. He was NOT meeting my deepest needs. I am reading a book by a very popular Christian author and psychologist {I prefer not to give their names since I have no desire to hurt any other Christian's ministry, even when I disagree with them on some points.}

He wrote this comment, "Our sovereign God has made no mistake in assigning us the ministry of touching our spouses' deepest needs." I spent many years expecting Ken to meet my deepest needs and he never measured up. I married him to meet my deepest needs and he failed me. I was miserable. Our marriage was not happy. If I had read this book many years ago, I would have thought, "See, this is why I am not happy. Ken is not ministering to my deepest needs."

I have found most marriage books to be like this. Ken asked me the morning after I read this quote to him what my deepest needs were. I told him I couldn't think of any. I went to take a bath. Many times, I think up new posts to write while taking a bath or responses to questions that are asked me. A light bulb went off and I figured out my answer!

I don't think about my deepest needs anymore. That was a dead end road to me. When I learned who I am in Christ, all the riches I have in Him, the promises He has given me, that I am complete in Him and a new creature, I no longer focus upon my deepest needs. Jesus has already met them. He paid a very heavy price to meet them. They are met in Him.

Every morning, I spend time in His Word. Every morning, I weep tears of joy for how blessed I am to know Him and being daily reminded about how awesome He is! I just LOVE Him. HE has filled my deepest need so I am filled to the brim so I can begin loving and serving others with abandon, not worrying about my needs going unmet since He has promised to meet all of my needs.

A young women in the chat room asked me if there is anything I could have done to realize earlier in my life all that I am in Christ and the emotions that well up because of it. I have always spent time in His Word. I have always loved Him but I have to say it was the Pearls who opened my eyes through the study of His Word who guided me to understand who I am in Christ and Debi's book showed me how to be a godly, submissive wife. It has still been a journey since then. Matthew Henry's book A Discourse on Meekness and Quietness of Spirit has helped me better understand what a meek and quiet spirit looks like. It's easier to respect Ken now knowing this.

God has used an older woman, godly Bible teachers, Ken and men of old to get me to the point that I am now. I am sure my physical sufferings and trials have been used by Him to teach me many of His truths also. I have never been the type to ask "Why me?" since I know that I am nothing without Him and I deserve nothing but have been blessed with His overflowing mercy and grace. 

If you don't know Him, seek Him and you will find Him. He is not hiding. He wants ALL to come to the knowledge of Him. He is not willing that ANY  should perish. Spend daily time in His Word. Get to know the Creator of the universe. It is time that is NEVER wasted and only benefits you and those you touch for He promises that His Word will never come back void.

And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.

Isaiah 58:11

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