Some of My Favorite Things

There are some things that I have found that I love so I wanted to share them with you. It's fun to find things that make keeping a home clean and tidy easier and more efficient, plus not being full of toxic chemicals! I also have two natural body products that I love.

 The first thing I want to tell you about is my Norwex cloth. Oh, how I love this! Instead of washing counters down to get the junk off with a sponge, then spraying them with a solution and finally, wiping it down with a cloth to dry, I simply use my Norwex cloth. As soon as I am done washing my dishes, I get my Norwex cloth off of the oven handle where it always hangs to dry out, get it wet in hot water, squeeze out the water, then wipe everything down; my counter tops, my stove top, toaster, refrigerator handles, the inside of the frig when needed, and anything else that needs to be cleaned. I rinse it out with hot water and hang it over my oven handle to dry for the next time. I have been a homemaker for many, many years and this is by far the best microfiber cloth I have ever used. It glides easily across the counter leaving barely any water behind it, no streaking, and perfectly clean! It even will clean up raw chicken juice and after rinsing the cloth in hot water, the juice will be gone and the cloth clean. {It has been tested for this!} 

 The Norwex EnviroCloth is used in the same way but in the bathrooms and elsewhere; no sprays, no paper towels, no cloths to have to clean. It truly is amazing; they have a special type of silver in them that causes them to clean so amazingly efficiently. If they smell at all, you just throw them in the washing machine with no bleach or softener. I have been using mine for several weeks now and it still has no smell to it! I also have their mop system which is by far the best mop system I have ever used! I have all wood floors and it makes cleaning them a breeze! {It's best to order these things from a person who sells them since this is how the Norwex Company works. I bought mine from Amber and I loved her! She responds quickly and gets the order out right away. If you have any questions, you can email her at amber.safehaven@gmail.com. I'm not doing this to "win" anything from her for free. I am sharing this because it is truly amazing!}

The second thing I love is my Scrub Daddy. I used to use those Scotch brand yellow sponges with the green backs but love this one so much more. It's biodegradable over time and non-toxic. It's rough in cold water and softens in hot water. It's easy to clean inside bottles and glasses. When you're finished, you simply rinse it off in hot water and set it on your sink to dry. It doesn't get grimy and ugly. {Amazon and Target sell them.}

Next, I love my Scrub Buds from Amway. I have been using these for years. They are so much better than the SOS pads because they are made of stainless steel and never rust so they last a long, long time. They scrub my pans beautifully and make them shiny and clean. They are great to scrub clean stove top burners and toaster ovens too! Anything that is difficult to get off, I will use my Scrub Buds.

I also love organic coconut oil. I put a tablespoon of it on my yam and it makes it yummy. Coconut oil is so good for you. It's good for your brain, your skin, kills bacteria and virus', stabilizes hormones and all sorts of good things for your body. It also keeps the body well-oiled and is great for female issues! 

I also love Jane Iredale makeup. I am very careful what I put on and in my body since it all affects my health. I finally found this makeup a while ago and absolutely love it. I bought it in a store the first time so I could figure out what colors looked best on me. {My naturopath had recommended this makeup and said all the naturopaths in the office use it.} I only buy the powdered foundation, the blush, the rose spritz so it stays on all day long, and the eyebrow pencil. I buy it when there's a sale.  It's very light and natural looking.

These are a few of my favorite things that I use every single day. 
What are some of the things you use every day and love?

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

James 1:17

My "Hatred" for Working Mothers?

Recently, I have had fun creating flow charts to show the consequences of our choices. Since I don't have a lot of room, I create a general consequence to each choice. Of course, it can't encapsulate every consequence for every choice of every person but they are created more to give pause to women for the choices they make and hopefully cause them to think that they may be on the wrong track biblically. 

Last week, I posted a flow chart on two different paths that mothers can make; a career path working outside of the home or a home path working inside of the home. Here is my chart:

Now when I posted this, I knew I would get angry women since I usually do whenever I write about women being keepers at home. Women have even accused me of having hatred for working mothers. No, I don't have hatred for working mothers. I wouldn't be trying so hard to reason with them to come home full-time if I hated them. I would be spewing curse words at them and condemning them if I hated them. {This flow chart has become my most "liked" and most shared thing I have ever posted on my Facebook page! I am sure many have shared it in order to mock it.}

I write about being mothers being keepers at home since this is what the Lord has commanded that I do and I know the best place for mothers who have children to be is in the home with their children. That's it. I have no ulterior motive. I am not their judge. Yes, it offends working women but they must ask themselves why God's Word offends them. Can it be that they feel some guilt? Of course they do. Every working mother I have ever talked to or heard interviewed on the television has guilt over leaving their children with others, plus their husbands, who they are supposed to be help meets to, are usually last on the totem pole of their time.

Whatever choice any mother makes is between her husband, herself, and the Lord. They need to prayerfully study the Word and pray while asking the Lord for wisdom for it is Him who they will have to give an account for the choices they make in this life. They don't have to answer to me, but I do have to answer for how I have lived my life and if God commands older women to teach younger women to be keepers at home, this is what I will do. If I hated working mothers, I sure wouldn't try so hard to get them to understand God's will for their life since it's not easy dealing with the many younger feminist women who hate this teaching the Lord has given older women to teach them. The main reason I do this is for the children; if you asked them, they would say they want their mother home full-time with them. Someone has to speak up for the children and it might as well be me.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Titus 2:3-5

***For you who would love to come home full-time, here are two of my most popular posts dealing with living within your husband's income, even if he doesn't make much:
50 Ways We Paid Off Our Home with One Income
Stretching Her Husband's Hard-Earned Income

Is Homeschooling Not Good For Boys?

"What is your opinion of the following quote from Pastor Steve Schlissel? Assuming dad is at work all day, does he have a point about a lack of adult male involvement in homeschooling?" 

"Moreover, we should let the little secret out of the bag that homeschooling is far more fitting for girls than for boys. By learning at home, girls are in their future dominion headquarters; boys are not. The truth is that homeschooling can be dangerous for boys, keeping them from challenging male role models, narrowing their field of vision, stifling their godly instinct to be aggressive, a little messy, and overtly and physically competitive."

My answer to him is there aren’t many “challenging male role models” for them in the schools since most of the teachers are female! I homeschooled my boys for a few years in junior high and they loved it. I didn’t teach them homemaking during these years. They would read for several hours. I found good books for them to read like historical fiction, biographies of great missionaries, etc. Then they would do math for about an hour. After they were done with this, I’d take them to the beach to go surfing or they would play outside with each other. As they got older, they changed the oil on our cars, did the yard work, fixed things around the home, and things of this nature.

Ken worked out of the home so he saw them quite a bit and played with them a lot. He was out in the front with them teaching them how to pitch, throw, kick and catch a ball, plus played lots of basketball with them. They also went over to their Grandpa’s home to learn French. In the afternoon, I took them to basketball, baseball or soccer practice or games; depending upon the time of the year. Basketball and soccer are very aggressive games.

 They loved being homeschooled! They got to read books that interested them, eat whenever they were hungry, and play outside often to get their energy out. In this way, they were much more protected from pornography, foul language, dirty stories, humanistic and godless teachings, etc.

Compare this to regular schooling. They sit in a classroom for long periods of time which is not good for any children, in my opinion, but especially not for boys. They were created to move and to move a lot, not be put on drugs to calm them down. In school, there are short times for recess if they are in elementary school and PE class; then they are fortunate in junior and senior high if they even get a PE class. Does anyone think this is better for a boy than homeschooling? If a boy is raised on a farm, he can help his dad with the farm. There are many ways to find ways to get good men involved in a son’s life. Even getting them involved in church and missions is good. My boys did both of these things. There are so many wonderful opportunities with homeschooling. 

One woman in the chat room wrote this about homeschooling: "For our family it's not necessarily trying to figure out what's wrong with public school. We focus on the benefits of homeschool and that is enough to convince us. Bonding time with mom, opportunity to teach life skills as well as academics, equipping them to know/defend/love their faith and the Lord, bonding them as siblings, time to play and be creative, clean house/healthy meals/simple living because mom is home, control over influence, opportunities to serve outside of normal church times, ability to explore interests fully, lack of busyness. The list goes on and on. A simple life focused on loving the Lord and cherishing the years we have with our children when they're small!" {All of this sounds great to me for boys as well as for girls!}

In conclusion, yes, homeschooling is great for boys if the mothers make sure they are not training their boys to be women or feminist boys, but do what they can to get godly men involved in their lives, if the father is unavailable or not interested. 

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty. Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.
2 Corinthians 6:14 - 7:1

***Here is an article about the books many public schools are requiring their students to read. This is extremely difficult reading. I had to skim through parts of it.

Chaste ~ Chapter Ninteen

Women aren't modest today, as you all can plainly see. If you try to explain to women why they should dress modestly, they get offended. I know. I have personally exhorted three women personally to be modest and none of them responded kindly to me. When my youngest son was 16 years old, he told me he wanted a modest woman who didn't dress to turn other guys on. He didn't want a woman who a bunch of guys had lusted after due to her lack of clothing. 

One man who wrote the Pearls told about a friend of his whose wife dressed very immodestly. It leaves me disgusted, frustrated and angry that a stupid, silly girl can cause so much trouble. Sometimes I feel my own bod betrays me, but I know I am a normal male with a normal need, and the problem lies with females dressing so godless. Talk about dishonoring a man, all the rest of the younger females in church dress as bad or worse...I want a girl who has not encouraged a thousand other guys to commit sight adultery with her by how she dresses. I want a woman I can be proud to call my own little treasure.*

One woman who I confronted about her immodesty wore little bikinis at the beach and provocative dresses to church told me that it was the men's problem, not hers. She is not a wise woman. God gave us ladies bodies that men desire as much as they desire life itself. It is a precious gift that keeps us "pretty" and desirable to that husband. It is not supposed to be used to entice men who aren't our husbands to lust after us.* {I can tell you that it is not easy at all to rebuke a sister in Christ who is in sin. It takes a lot of prayer to make sure it is coming from a heart of wanting to help and not simply to criticize. Like Michael Pearl said, if you are rebuking someone more than once every two months, you are probably rebuking too much!}

As help meets to our husbands, we must do all we can to protect them from immodest women. If a Victoria Secret magazine comes in your mail, throw it away and cancel the subscription. If you have girlfriends who dress immodestly, don't bring them home with you. Meet them somewhere for lunch, instead. If you are at church and you see an immodestly dressed women, go find a place to sit in the opposite direction. Dress modestly out in public. 

What is modesty, you may ask? It's revealing any body part that should be covered up and only for your husband's eyes; nothing that is too short or too tight either. Some believe shoulders and knees shouldn't be shown. Some believe you should only wear dresses. These types of issues should be decided by your husband since he is the head over you. Clothes speak to all who see us. Clothes make a constant profession. That is, they declare out loud {drowning out our words} our true heart condition and our attitude toward ourselves and toward those who see us.*

We aged women are to teach the young women to be chaste: pure in thought, word, actions, and to be modest and honorable in all things.* Besides dressing modestly, dwell on the lovely and the good in others. Don't allow critical thoughts of others to control you. Pray daily that the words that you speak will be seasoned with salt and will bring encouragement to those who listen. Act in a way becoming to the Lord so as to bring glory to Him in all that you do. Be a woman of discretion. Instead of drawing attention to yourself through your words, actions, and dress, draw attention to your Savior for He alone is worthy.

But let it be the hidden man of the heart,

 in that which is not corruptible, 

even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit,

 which is in the sight of God of great price.

1 Peter 3:4

Released From the Flesh; Married to Christ ~ Romans 7:1-4

Now we come to a very misunderstood chapter in the Bible. Paul has clearly explained to us in Romans 6 that we are dead and freed from sin, plus we are now servants of righteousness. Christ lives mightily within us, we are new creatures in Christ and walk in newness of life. Why, all of a sudden, does he say in Romans 7 that nothing good dwells within him and he has no ability to do the right he knows to do. We learn what this means by taking Romans 7 in context of Romans 6 and 8. Before beginning, it's imperative to know that the Law didn't die. We died to the Law when we died with Christ, therefore, we are no longer under the Law.

Know ye not, brethren, {for I speak to them that know the law}, how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? {Romans 7:1} Paul has not suddenly reverted to a discussion on marriage. He refers to the law of marriage because it provides a perfect analogy for what he wants to say. He wants to show us how we are no longer under the Law, yet still alive. The Law's jurisdiction over others is in practice as long as one is alive. {I know it's confusing but just stick with me!} As long as a man is alive, he is under the Law.

For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband {Romans 7:2} A woman is bound to her husband as long as her husband lives. The living husband typifies the flesh to which one is wed. {Remember, husband = flesh; wife = believer} As the death of a husband frees a wife from the Law of marriage that bound her to her husband, so the death of the flesh frees the believer from the Law that governed men in the flesh.

So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man {Romans 7:3} If this woman {believer} should marry another man {Christ} while the first husband {flesh} is still alive, she would be called an adulteress. The only answer to her {our} dilemma {a desire to be married to Christ} is the death of the husband {the flesh of Adam}.

Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God {Romans 7:4} We, like the woman, have become dead to the Law since we died with Christ and to the Law. When we discover exactly what died at our co-crucifixion with Christ, we have discovered the identity of the husband. The flesh died with Christ so we could be married to Christ. This is why we are new creatures in Christ! When Christ died, exactly what part of His being died? His Adam flesh, since flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God. The purpose of the death of the old husband {flesh} was to release the woman {the believer} to be married to Christ. Now that we are free from the flesh, we can now walk after the Spirit and bring forth fruit unto God. But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his {Romans 8:9}.

The next verses begin HERE. The series begins HERE.

Abortion is Rooted in the Constitution?

"'Women have told me they’re afraid to bring children into this world.' When we believe this, we believe a lie from Satan. Salvation always comes through a baby: baby Moses, Baby Samuel {all the prophets really} and of course Baby Jesus. God told us to multiply and be fruitful and if we are honest with ourselves, a lot of the current political state of our country could have been completely avoided if Christians actually heeded God's Word instead of the world's lies. If the past generation hadn't been all about birth control the Christians would have outnumbered everyone else. If our generation stops trying to live the 'American Dream' and starts procreating, in one generation we could turn America back around. But this fantasy world that we erroneously believe, where we can all have 2.5 children, live in the suburbs while sending them to great public schools, isn't real. It will land us exactly where we are now; in a world that denies the power of God." {Michelle}

God tells us to have children and that children are a gift and a blessing. However, Hillary believes that the Constitution grants the right for mothers to slaughter their babies in the womb. She believes Planned Parenthood does a lot of good since it gives the right of women to kill their babies if they aren’t planned or unwanted. One young woman I mentor worked with a woman who was married and pregnant. She decided after several months that it wasn’t time to have a baby yet. She wanted to wait six more months to have a baby so because of our “rights in the constitution” she went and had her baby murdered in her womb. We were all praying she would have a change of heart, but she didn’t and our country allows this and even supports it.

Here is an interview between Bret Baier and Hillary Clinton on the Fox News Network ~ 

“Well, again, let me put this in context, because it’s an important question,” Clinton said. “Right now the Supreme Court is considering a decision that would shut down a lot of the options for women in Texas, and there have been other legislatures that have taken similar steps to try to restrict a woman’s right to obtain an abortion. Under Roe v. Wade, which is rooted in the Constitution, women have this right to make this highly personal decision with their family in accordance with their faith, with their doctor. It’s not much of a right if it is totally limited and constrained. So I think we have to continue to stand up for a woman’s right to make these decisions, and to defend Planned Parenthood, which does an enormous amount of good work across our country.”

Baier seemed to want a more definitive statement. “Just to be clear, there’s no — without any exceptions?” he said.

“No,” Clinton said. “I have been on record in favor of a late pregnancy regulation that would have exceptions for the life and health of the mother. I object to the recent effort in Congress to pass a law saying after 20 weeks, you know, no such exceptions, because although these are rare, Bret, they sometimes arise in the most complex, difficult medical situation.” {There are so few reasons to terminate a pregnancy and murder the baby for the life of the mother. This is just an excuse. Plus, the way way she has voted, even voting for partial birth and late term abortions, proves she doesn't want any limitations put on abortion.}

Mrs. Clinton is one day going to have to stand before the Great White Throne judgment seat of God and give a reason for her actions. God will be her final judge, but we certainly judge her reasoning as evil.

The best way to counter this evil, women, is to have as many children as the Lord blesses you with. Let everyone know that you love having and raising children. Let them know that they are a gift and a blessing from God. Raise them to know and love the Lord with all of their heart, mind and soul. We overcome evil with good and having children is very good!

For You formed my inward parts; 

You wove me in my mother's womb.

Psalm 139:13

***I thought the Constitution gave everyone the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. What about right to life does Hillary not understand?

Enjoying a Stay-at-Home Lifestyle

She is getting married today and left this comment on my post Being Discreet in a Crass Culture. (There were many great comments on this post.) I loved it so much that I wanted to make a post with her comment on the day of her wedding for any of you who are looking for a godly spouse with the values that are important to you and raising daughters with these biblical values.

"These comments remind me of a conversation I had with my fiancé recently when I inquired about how we are going to raise girls (when the time comes) without them feeling like we are 'holding them back' by dissuading them from going to college. 

"I should start by shedding some light onto our relationship. We are engaged to be married on 3/25/16, and we currently run our relationship in as much of proper roles as we can, (without sex of course) with him being the decision maker and my submission in all things to his leadership. We've decided to homeschool because the Lord is leading us to do so, and we share some not-so-nice experiences with traditional school systems, as neither of us were homeschooled. We thoroughly discuss all things and the topic of raising godly children has been a frequent one lately. 

"Anyway, now I'll get to the point, that my wise soon-to-be husband shared with me. He said, 'Any future daughters of ours will anticipate enjoying a stay-at-home mom kind of lifestyle to the degree you reflect that you enjoy it, and even more so, by how our marriage will thrive in our proper roles, as God designed it to be.' It really got me to thinking that, it's really a lack of contentment that drives us to think the grass is greener on the other side. How glorifying is it to God when people witness a marriage truly modeled after Christ and the Church to the extent that both husband and wife are at peace, joy-filled, feeling fulfilled, and full of energy to minister unto others because their home (house/family) is in proper order? 

"People are drawn to what they perceive as creating happiness. People want to be happy. If we can draw others (especially our children) to us by reflecting how good it is (and content and happy we are) in our proper roles, that would certainly be a testimony and reflect godliness. Our children will see how proper roles really work, and how they make us joyful deep down, and they'll hopefully naturally be dissuaded from the things of the world. True, some readers may say, 'Well just wait until you have kids, young wife, you're in for a world of surprise!' But I'm exercising my faith that our future children will see the joy, order, peace and contentment of a biblically modeled marriage, and be won-over to desire the same for themselves as they mature into adulthood. After all, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (I was like her. I always knew my children would grow up to walk in Truth and to marry godly spouses, so I spent many hours making sure they knew the Truth of God's Word!)

Flika commented on this same post: "The Bible tells us that love is the ultimate gift. Why do so many women give up that opportunity to have a titled career? I will never regret being a devoted homemaker all my married years. I still love home even though I am widowed. I can practice hospitality and share Jesus. I did that with a little girl last year. I have dolls and movies about Jesus' life. After the movie of Jesus' birth my little friend said, "So that is how He was born." About two weeks later, she asked Jesus into her heart. I take her to church now at times and her sister comes too. Praying her whole family will. Love conquers all; Agape love that is. I made mistakes raising my children, but I claim the home is the most amazing career for a woman.

"Years ago when I was young, I prayed about working outside my home. Father God put a deep trust in Him that if I did life His way He would always provide. I was careful with our money and home. He has always taken care of us/me. I still am frugal and love to help others when I can. I use to cry when I was a child because no one loved home like I did. I decided to choose a career of being home. Everyone put knowledge above love and I wanted to be loved and to love others. I can go Home to Jesus feeling so very blessed. 

 "I would not waste my time in college when love is most important. So many men go without good jobs to support their families because women want careers and extra income to have all the goodies of life. Some women have to work outside the home. I didn't have an extended education. I kept my home and practiced hospitality to people from all over the world. Did we have grand things? NO! We paid $17,000.00 for our old farmhouse and I made it cozy. I did gardening and animal raising. I still pressure can meats, fruits and veggies. It makes me feel so content. My young friend that was in school with my daughter even hangs her laundry out in the Michigan winters. Why? She loves the way Gods fresh air dries them and she can feel His blessings as well and smell them all winter long. She knows the secret of feeling close to Father God. That is why I love her as a daughter. We speak each others language.

"I read of a young, very young, woman that was uneducated. But what she gave impacted every person ever living and lived. I don't know her last name but her first name was Mary. She birthed and raised Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. She never went to college and never had a career and God found her qualified to do the job He asked her to do."

There is a lot of wisdom in these two women's words. I pray their words bless you as much as they blessed me. There is no better way to live than the way God has ordained for you to live.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Titus 2:3-5

Should We Be Seeking an Intimate Marriage?

Many today are seeking for an intimate marriage as if it were the be all and end all of marriage. Is this God’s purpose for marriage? No! God's Word never says anything about this in regards to marriage. "Intimate" is a word made up by our culture and is difficult to define. Each person would probably have a different definition of what this looked like to them and if they don't find it in their marriage, they may want to get out. Couples who are so busy seeking for these things are partially responsible for so many divorces. God’s original design and purpose for marriage was for man to have a help meet, for a man and woman to become one flesh, to produce godly offspring and to exemplify Christ and the church.

God commands that what He has joined together let NO man put asunder. Therefore, marriage is for life; for the good times and bad times. To seek an intimate marriage or an exciting sex life every single time {which aren’t bad} misses the point and makes marriage about us instead of about Him. If marriage is about Him and only Him, we would view marriage in a whole new light.

We would seek to look like the church in relationship to Christ. We would seek to please our husbands, submit to, obey, reverence, and love deeply since this is how the church is supposed to be towards Christ.  It wouldn’t matter if there was intimacy {not talking about sexual intimacy here} or not since we never base our marriage or our relationship to Christ on feelings or emotions. If you are married to a husband who has no desire to have an "intimate" marriage as you define it, remind yourself the purpose for marriage. 

The reason all these books about experiencing God and having a more intimate relationship with Christ are so popular is because people are seeking an experience and emotions over obedience. People walk away from Christ if they don’t “feel” in love with Him and have emotions about Him. People walk away from marriage if they don’t “feel” in love with their spouse and have no emotions for them and feel no intimacy towards them. Marriage and our relationship to Christ have NOTHING whatsoever to do with feelings and emotions. It has everything to do with a lifetime commitment. The irony of the whole concept is that the more committed you are to your spouse and to Christ, the better chance you have of experiencing feelings and emotions of love towards them and gaining an intimate marriage! Ken and I are a testimony to this fact and we love being married now.

All of the sex books that couples are reading lead to disappointment also and put the fulfilling sex act on such a difficult level to sustain. Imagine how most generations lived before ours. Many lived in one bedroom homes or at least very small homes with many children in them. The men were so busy making a living and providing for their family while the women were busy taking care of their children and homes that they had no time for special date nights and romantic, exciting sex lives. They knew their marriage was to be one flesh, produce offspring, and love each other until death do they part. 

Therefore, if you don't have an "intimate" marriage or a fulfilling sex life the way you would like, remind yourself what God's purpose for marriage is and be a covenant keeper; one who desires more than anything to please the Lord rather than please yourself. Instead of seeking an intimate relationship with your husband when he is not interested, seek a peaceful, loving and committed relationship instead! Instead of seeking an intimate and emotional experience with the Lord, believe what He said, who He is, and what He did, then begin obeying Him by walking in the Spirit.

"The ultimate thing we can say about marriage is that it exists for God's glory. That is, it exists to display God. Now we see how: Marriage is patterned after Christ's covenant relationship to His redeemed people, the church. And therefore, the highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and His church on display. That is why marriage exists. If you are married, that is why you are married. If you hope to be, that should be your dream. Staying married, therefore, is not mainly about staying in love. It is about keeping covenant" {John Piper}.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mark 10:7-9
photo source

Disagreeing Versus Disrespecting

If you've read my blog for very long, you know that I teach that a marriage should not have arguing in it since it is forbidden in Scripture. The Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged {2 Timothy 2:24}. As women who desire to honor God in all that we do, we strive to not argue and quarrel with our husbands at all. Does this mean we can't disagree with them? No!

When we disagree with our husband, we can tell them as long as we do it in a meek and gentle manner. One book that should sit by your bedside and be read a little bit every day should be A Discourse on Meekness and Quietness of Spirit since having a meek and quiet spirit is precious in the sight of God. It isn't easy to read, takes concentration and meditation but it is well worth your effort. Matthew Henry wrote, "Quietness is recommended to us in the Scriptures as a grace which we should be endued with, and a duty which we should practice." It is not something that comes naturally to us especially since we are being surrounded by and bombarded by the feminist influence, even in the church.

You don't always have to give your opinions, if you disagree. It's okay to be silent and accept your husband's opinions. If after pondering you decide you feel compelled to give your opinion, speak it in a kind and loving way for love is patient and kind. If you force your opinion upon your husband or begin arguing, you are disrespecting him which is also forbidden by God. Your husband deserves your respect since God has put him in authority over you to protect and provide for you. God commands you respect him and the majority of husbands are worth respecting. Even if they are not, you do it in obedience to the Lord.

If you have trouble discerning when disagreement turns into respect, ask your husband to help you to discern the difference. You will probably know quickly after the discussion if you maintained respect towards your husband during the conversation. If you did not, apologize quickly for as you confess your sins, they are in the open and become much more difficult to hide. Light exposes darkness.

Remember, practice makes perfect. Most of us are used to arguing and disrespecting our husbands. It was modeled to us and it is the only way we know how to communicate with them. Look up all the verses about arguing, quarreling and respecting husbands and memorize them for we are transformed by the renewing of our minds with God's Truth. With God ALL things are possible. The more you learn to NOT disagree with your husband and be quiet instead, the easier it will be to never disrespect him!

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop 
than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 21:9

It is better to live in a desert land than with a 
quarrelsome and fretful woman.

Proverbs 21:19

A continual dripping on a rainy day and 
a quarrelsome wife are alike.

Proverbs 27:15

Do Careers Give Meaning to Women?

Women wanted to be the same as men so they left their homes and sought careers to find meaning since men find meaning in their careers. Therefore, as they were growing up, they were thinking about their career path instead of getting married. Many went to higher education, built up debt, and finally reached their career. They worked hard in their career for a while but still just could not find meaning in it like the men could. What was wrong?

Women aren't like men and women aren't supposed to find meaning in their careers. They aren't built physically for what it takes to have careers for long periods of time. Studies had proven that women get careers that give them solid time off and they won't have to be on call. After a while, they get worn out from their career. Some get married while they have careers and get even more exhausted trying to run a career and a home. 

The question is would you rather have a fabulous career or fabulous marriage? Women have been lied to. They spend all of their growing up years thinking their lives were about having having careers and preparing for them. Then when they finally have their careers, they figure out there is little to no meaning in their careers. Instead of spending their lives preparing for careers, God tells women they should spend their lives preparing for marriage, child bearing, and homekeeping. This is where they will find meaning. 

Unfortunately, even Christian women have fallen for the lie of our culture. Instead of seeking careers, they should be preparing for marriage by getting an education that doesn't cost much and doesn't put them into debt. It also needs to be a career they can drop the moment they either get married or, for sure, when they have children. Teaching is a good career since they can use their credential to teach their own children, in case this is required. 

Besides seeking a career, they should work on learning how to cook and keep a home clean and tidy. They should be mentored on how to be a godly wife and please their husband. Even learning what to look for in a potential husband is an extremely important thing to learn. I told my girls to marry men who loved the Lord deeply and worked hard. Neither of them wanted a career and both of them only wanted to get married and have children.

It's okay to not do what our culture is doing. In fact, it's great to not do what our culture is doing since most of what they are doing is opposite to what the Lord wants us to do. Be in the Word and find out for yourself what His Word is telling you and then obey it. You will find abundant blessings in living your life for the Lord and not for man.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

1 Timothy 5:14

To Be Discreet ~ Chapter Eighteen

Years ago, we let someone use our car for a couple of months since they needed one while they were in the area. When they brought it back to us, the front windshield had a crack all the way across it and there was absolutely no gas in it, plus they never offered to pay for it. My mom taught us better than this. She taught us that we were always to leave something better after we've borrowed it or stayed somewhere. If we stayed in someone's home, she would make sure it was even cleaner than when we got there. When you are discreet, wise, and kind to other people, you will reap the benefits throughout your life.* We reap what we sow and we to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. I have never forgotten the way they left our car. People don't forget when they have been treated unkindly. No, I don't hold it against them; I just remember how inconsiderate it was of them.

Once I had a neighbor who was continually asking me for things. Many times she didn't return them. She was not a considerate neighbor. Part of discretion is being considerate of others and not using them. When you borrow something, do you always return it and in good condition? If you stay in some one's home, do you help them and make sure you have left the bedroom and bathroom you stayed in clean and tidy? Most people don't like to feel used or unappreciated. This isn't a quality that makes good friends or leaves good memories in people's minds.

A woman of discretion is gracious and thankful. One Christmas Ken bought me something I didn't want and I let him know. I was not being gracious or thankful. I was being rude and inconsiderate. So what if I don't like a gift I am given. I should show appreciation and thankfulness to my husband for buying it for me. A woman of discretion doesn't want to hurt her husband's feelings and is thoughtful. She builds him up, instead of tears him down. Your husband's choice of stoves {or anything else that he has bought you} is a statement that he is trying to express his great appreciation of you and to please and delight you. Your countermanding his choice, even if it were a better choice, speaks to him about how little you value him, more than it does about how you value the dollar...your actions seem to say that you think of yourself as being somewhat wiser and him more of a fool...It is time to start practicing reverence toward your husband.*

Finally, a discreet woman builds up her home, instead of tearing it down with her own hands. Debi lists twelve questions that a wife will ask her husband that tears her home down. In asking these questions, she has determined that she is wiser and knows more than her husband. She uses these questions to manipulate her husband. A few of the questions are: 1. Do you feel comfortable spending that much money buying that ____? She doesn't think he is wise enough to decide this on his own and needs to question his decisions. 2. Doesn't this activity you are engaging in grieve your spirit? She is being his Holy Spirit instead of winning him without a word by her submissive and godly behavior. 3. Why don't you ever read and teach me and the children the Bible? She has taken the leadership position and decided what her husband needs to do instead of allowing the Lord to lead him.* 

If you are always questioning your husband in the way that he lives his life, you are tearing your home and marriage apart. He is a grown man and doesn't need a mother telling him what to do anymore. Be his help meet to him, instead of his mother. Be a woman of discretion with your husband and everyone else in your life for this is how a godly woman should live her life; thinking of others more highly than herself.

As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout,

 so is a fair woman which is without discretion.

Proverbs 11:22

Yield Your Members to Righteousness ~ Romans 6:18-23

A huge misconception is that this teaching on Romans is sinless perfectionism. Since we are dead and freed from sin, we died with Christ, rose with Him, are new creatures in Christ and are called saints now does not mean we are perfect and never sin! No, it means we are freed from the power of sin, the consequences and damnation of sin, and the ability to chose to not sin. We will learn about this in the following verses from the great Apostle Paul.

Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness {Romans 6:18}. Sin and the Law terminated at the moment of death with Christ. Life and freedom from sin began with the resurrection in Christ. Paul is not saying that the believer cannot do other than righteousness, any more than servants of sin means that one cannot do other than sin. {Just as when the slaves were freed, some chose not to be free.} This is not about ability or limitations, but about relationship and orientation. One who is free from sin can still sin if he so chooses. The human person is never beyond choosing. Paul will proceed to explain his point more fully in the next five verses. {I wrote a post about this called Stop Playing In or Near the Lake of Mud!}

I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield your members servants to righteousness unto holiness {Romans 6:19}. Just as you used to yield your members to sin with total abandonment, so now with the same zeal and abandonment yield your members to the principle of righteousness that you might work holiness. Since Christ has freed us from the power of sin, yielding is now within the scope of those who are in Christ.

What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for the end of those things is death {Romans 6:20} Those who sustain a relationship to sin as its servants are under no obligation to walk righteously. If one is not in Christ, his efforts to do good are not welcomed. He is wasting his time. He is under no obligation to obey Christ. He is none of His. Christ can say, "I never knew you." The servants of sin are slaves to their own bodily passions. Until one repents toward God and is born again, he is outside of God's jurisdiction. 

What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for the end of those things is death {Romans 6:21} In the former relationship, what fruit did sin produce? Remembering the lousy fruit of the former relationship should cause the new creature to abandon sin altogether and throw himself into righteousness as readily as he formerly threw himself into sin. The root was sin, so the fruit was death.

But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life {Romans 6:22}. Christ made us free by placing us inside of Himself and His freedom. The fruit of the Holy Spirit is holiness. Everlasting life is the end of the life that Christ gives us.

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord {Romans 6:23}. Yield your members to God as servants of righteousness, because the wages {the end} of sin is death, but this great gift of God is eternal life. Therefore, walk in compliance with who you are. You are a child of the Most High who calls you His child and a saint!

The next verse begins HERE. The study begins HERE.