Sunday, October 9, 2011

Adapting To Him


Alyssa has adapted to Jon ~

She likes to go to bed late.  He likes to go to bed early since he wakes up early to go to work.  She goes to bed early now.  Sure, she'll read in bed or play with her iPhone, but she is in bed with him.

She could care less about football.  They have been coming down on Sundays to walk the beach with us, go to Kis for breakfast, and watch football.  {Alyssa cleans out her old room, reads, or plays with her iPhone while we watch football.}  Steven told Jon he could get football off of the computer, because they don't have cable.  Jon looked at Alyssa and said, "Babes, we can watch football at home now."  She enthusiastically responded, "Great!" 

She loves a simple big salad for dinner.  Jon likes ribs and steaks.  She eats ribs and steak for dinner now.  {He does eat a big salad for lunch. ;)}

She loves being in shape so she takes these exercise classes that have really helped strengthen her back and neck.  They are expensive.  I asked her if she takes them often.  She told me only if Jon says she can take them.  He said, "Which is whenever she wants to take them."

For their anniversary, they went on a long hike up in the mountains.  It was a very hot day and very tiring.  He loves to hike.  She loves to hike now also!

We were having a family party a few weeks ago and I asked her to come down.  She said Jon didn't want her to because he wanted her with him.  He works hard all day and loves to have her home at night with him.  She loves being home with him.

She has adapted her life to his.  They are both very happy.  They love pleasing each other.

I know a lot of women aren't going to like the following verse, but it is good, so good!  Look at it this way, men NEED women!

Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man
I Corinthians 11:9

Comments (18)

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I love this post! When we please our men, they in turn will please us. Beautiful!
Thanks for stopping by. :o)
Deborah <><
I love this! I know a lot of women would say that you are 'losing yourself' when you adapt to your hubby, but for me, living in bliss is worth it! I do a lot I wouldn't do otherwise for my hubby and we are crazy happy.......it's so worth it!
I am so thankful for your blog. You say so many things that a lot of the women I know would throw up their hands and say, '"NO WAY am I going to do that!" But God's ways are the ways of peace and happiness. As a Christian, I have experienced the joy and blessing of striving to be my husband's helpmeet and trying to please him. You don't do it because you want them to do it in return...although many times that is the case....you do it because it is God's will......and that is what gives you great joy!
When we were first married I was frustrated on our honeymoon - I was used to getting up by 5 am and so I couldn't sleep past about 7 no matter how hard I tried. My husband wanted to stay in bed until at least 10 (later if possible) as we were on vacation and he likes to wake up late and go to bed late when he can. I would wake up, get dressed and eat and try to wake him up multiple times before giving up and sitting around reading and feeling lonely for him for hours. Late at night he'd still be wide awake and wanting to see a movie together. Of course I always fell asleep during the movie! When we got home and opened all our wedding gifts I unwrapped a copy of Created to be His Helpmeet, and the next morning when he was still asleep and wouldn't wake up (it was a Saturday) I picked it up. Guess what was the first thing I read? The wise woman adjusts her schedule to his, etc! I didn't like that much! But after a couple weeks of working on it, our schedules were alot more similar. I adjusted to him! ;p And he appreciates it.
I love this post & I love this verse! I agree when we adapt to him he in turn will adapt to us. I've found over the last 20 years that we have a great relationship and it's because we've learned to adapt to each other :)
I love this post too! I've been married for almost a year, and I am really loving it! I do have a question for you - my husband loves to stay up late, and although I wish I could, I need my sleep to function at work ;) There are definitely nights that I stay up later and he goes to bed earlier to compromise! But, do you think it's bad if there are nights we just allow each other to meet our own needs and go to be when we can? Don't get me wrong - I love adapting to him and taking interest in his interests! I was just curious about the sleep one! I really love reading your posts -- thanks for sharing your wisdom!!!
2 replies · active 702 weeks ago
Ava...I have a confession to make! I have been married almost 31 years and we never go to bed at the same time. He loves to stay up late and I love to go to bed early and it is fine with both of us. If it was real important to him that I go to bed when he did, I would try (I can't sleep in for the life of me....ever, so that is why I need to go to bed early.). Thankfully, it works for us. I do snuggle in bed with him every morning, though, for our devotions. ;)
Lori, thank you!!! And it has worked for us - and there are nights when he'll say "stay up with me!" and I most certainly oblige, but for the most part he wants me to get my rest and he enjoys the down time (because he's an introvert!) So, thanks! Just want to make sure we're on track early on!! Blessings to you and yours! Your family is beautiful, inside & out!
Wow - I needed to hear this today. Thanks for sharing.

Jenny
Love, love, love your blog, Lori! Keep it up, girl.
Just found your blog over the weekend and know it was of the Lord! (am now a suscriber). I adjusted my attitude and started viewing my husband as my boyfriend. I sure did treat him differently back then, but after two kids and being married 12 years I have gotten a little too comfortable and self righteous in that I focus on his negative traits. I look forward to receiving more posts from you to become a better Christian wife! Thanks for sharing!
WOW-control freak much????? What does he do for her?
Sharon,

He doesn't demand anything of her. She does it because she loves him and wants to make him happy. He does whatever she wants to make her happy also. He is the leader of the home but a true leader is a servant. He walks on the beach with her, buys her flowers and perfume, tells her how pretty she is, and does many other things that make her happy. They are so fun to be with because their love and admiration of each other is so evident.
While I understand that women must adapt and compromise in marriage, I don’t see why the wife should be the only one adapting to her husband’s schedules, activities, etc. A marriage is about give and take. I hate going to the beach, which is one of my husband’s favorite activities. Most of the time he goes with the kids and I stay home or run errands. But a few times a summer I joined them. Likewise, my husband doesn’t enjoy going antiquing. So most of the time I go with friends. But sometimes he surprises me and we go together. We have many hobbies that we do together or as a family. We don’t feel the need to adopt each other’s hobbies.

More in next post.........
In almost 15 years of marriage, I’ve never asked my husband’s permission to buy something or go somewhere. Neither has he. Sure, if one of us wished to buy a big purchase, we talk it over and look at our budget. Same with going out with our friends and family functions. If there is a bridal shower or family party, we would discuss schedules and child care. Neither one of us would ever say “no, you can’t go to …..” Or “no you can’t buy…….” I’m sorry, but I think asking for my husband permission, reminds me or a parent/child relationship, rather than a husband/wife relationship. I would never judge anyone’s marriage. If it works for them, great. More power to them. But a submissive marriage is not ideal for everyone.
Amy
1 reply · active 702 weeks ago
Amy every married couple has to find what works for them best and what pleases God the most. I can tell you that I have been married to two Lori's... the one who lived very independently from me and now the one who finds the strength to allow me to be the leader of our family and marriage. Submission to a godly guy is a bit like serving Jesus. we serve him,yet we soon find that Jesus is the one who is always serving us and meeting all of our needs. When a wife surrenders and seeks the best interest of her spouse, most husbands are built to love and adore their wives just because they are trying to please them. They give as much freedom as before, maybe more, because now trust takes over. Knowing my wife really wants to serve, please and adapt to me she gets almost whatever she wants with no fights or upsets. It's just a great partnership and I get to play the leader who lays down his life for his wife!
This is a wonderful post, with great comments too.

FlowerLady
God has created us women to be more adaptable - and flexible! I have adapted to my husband in so many ways - it is important to cherish and to love the one God has given you! Such a gift! Thank you for sharing with A Return to Loveliness,
God Bless,
Kathy

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