The command to husbands to love their wives has been transformed into a command that he make his wife feel loved. This subtle transformation turns a straightforward biblical command into a Sisyphean {endless and unavailing} task. After all, the wife herself is the only one who can pronounce whether she feels sufficiently loved.
Additionally only she can define the very meaning of the word love in this context. As a result, Christian husbands are now held hostage to the emotions of their wives. They must forever jump through whatever hoops their wives hold up in an impossible effort to gain her approval.
For example, if he watches a football game instead of doing what she wants him to do he isn’t making her feel sufficiently loved and is in violation of the biblical command. There is no escape from this rule once you accept the subtle change, as logically only she can tell us how she feels. {Dalrock}
In other words, women have become the leaders of the home. Where men battle their sexual nature, women battle their emotional nature. Women think that men's sexual nature is a far worse sin than their emotional nature. One can easily see the man's sin {lust, pornography, adultery, etc.}, whereas the wife's sin is much more difficult to see yet can be every bit as destructive.
Out in public, the wife can act warm, sweet, and friendly to every one around her but at home, she just may be holding her husband hostage using her emotional nature to take control of the home. {If mama ain't happy, nobody is happy.} I know I sure used it to control Ken but nobody except him knew it.
It's real ugly. Since women are much more into their emotions and feelings, if we aren't feeling loved the way we want to be loved, we can use it in all sorts of ways to make our husband's lives miserable.
We can deny them sex.
We can pout and stew if they aren't doing things our way.
We can roll our eyes and show them disrespect in all kinds of ways.
We can use it to manipulate, control them, and criticize them.
We can deny them sex.
We can pout and stew if they aren't doing things our way.
We can roll our eyes and show them disrespect in all kinds of ways.
We can use it to manipulate, control them, and criticize them.
Women using their emotional natures to rule over men in this way is destroying marriages. It is also being used to take away the headship and authority of husbands.
Start using your emotional nature to love and cherish your husband. Use it to make him feel valued and cared for by allowing him to be the leader. Stop using it to get your way. The word that describes wanting your own way is selfishness and selfishness should have no part of our lives.
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ,
the head of a wife is her husband,
and the head of Christ is God.
Tiffany · 671 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 671 weeks ago
Terri Edwards · 671 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 671 weeks ago
Holly · 671 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 671 weeks ago
sketchnscrap 0p · 671 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 671 weeks ago
Cecilia · 671 weeks ago
A wife engaged in sexual infidelity is far worse than the husband not loving/respecting her the way he should/the way she want him to - and a sexually unfaithful husband is far worse than a wife not loving/respecting him the way she should/the way he want her to.
But I strongly agree that manipulating your spouse to get it your own way is extremely selfish and so far from the mind of Jesus, yet so natural for us human beings.
I belive when the main focus for husband and wife is to serve and love the other one above themselves, marriage is not so hard. Then none of them will be so concerned about whether or not the other one is doing their part so perfectly.
Lori Alexander 122p · 671 weeks ago
Emily · 671 weeks ago
You are right on about instead using that emotion to love and cherish...and may I add respect.
I soak in the encouragement here! :D There is just so much peace and joy in the position us wives have in the body.
But I'd like to add as a woman who shoved her emotions aside for many years in my own attempts to be the submissive wife this too is just as destructive, manifesting into bitterness, resentment and the like. It took a long time for me to realize the bible also teaches us how to HUMBLY make petitions and QUIETLY address those who are sinning against us. In fact it even instructs us to do this so that we ourselves do not end up sinning (Lev. 19:17, Mat. 18:15). But note this cannot be done unless our hearts are already plowed for serving. And often will not be received until we are walking in the ways you describe above.
Lori Alexander 122p · 671 weeks ago
Emily · 671 weeks ago
I was only sharing a bit of my own experience because there are also a lot of women out there that don't understand how to approach their husband in a respectful way. Then there are those that may read the above and not be able to see the balance (in a feminist world).
I truly appreciate your posts!
Lori Alexander 122p · 671 weeks ago
Melissa M. · 671 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 671 weeks ago
jrc · 671 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 671 weeks ago
Caitlin · 671 weeks ago
My husband and I have been together for 6 years now. I recall a bit of a rough patch a couple years ago where I was feeling unappreciated and unloved. So I talked to him about it and we worked it out and we are both happier for it. We don't just assume that we know we love each other, we make sure we show it. I don't have to manipulate him (nor he manipulate me) because we WANT each other to be happy. Feeling loved is a wonderful thing.