Monday, January 21, 2013

Protect Your Sons From Pornography


Let me just start by saying, if you don't protect your children from the evils in society, no one will.  I will never forget the first time I saw pornography.  I was in junior high, minding my own business, and walking down the hall.

On the ground was a pornographic picture of a woman.  I will never forget that picture.  Some boys had put it there to watch the reaction  of the people who  saw it.  Most men become addicted to pornography in junior high.  If you send your children to public junior high and high schools, they will see a lot of pornography, particularly your sons.

We homeschooled our sons through junior high because we wanted to protect them.  I asked my oldest son recently if there was something he wished we did to protect him more.

He told me "No, you did a great job protecting me compared to all my friends."  He knows many young men who are addicted to porn because they were not protected from it when they were young.  In his Christian college, all his friends kept each other accountable.  

We were always open with our sons about pornography.   We had them read Every Young Man's Battle when they were teenagers.  We monitored what television shows and movies they could watch, even in high school.  We knew the trap pornography is to men and took the warning seriously from the Bible about fleeing the youthful desires of youth.

You, too, cannot expect to send your sons to public schools and not expect them to see it.  At the Christian high school my boys attended, there were Christian teachers and coaches monitoring them.  They were protected.  Of course, they couldn't monitor everything but it was way better than the public school which is so huge there is just no way to monitor all the poor behavior.

Protect your children.  Be wise where you send them and who their friends are.  Don't let them have iPhones until they are 21 years old.  Really!  I still don't have one and I am fine without it.  Put computers in the family room.  Don't allow televisions in their bedrooms. Ask God for wisdom in raising them. Be vigilant for the Devil roams around like a roaring lion looking whom he may devour. Don't let the Devil devour your children because he will if you let him.

Flee from sexual immorality. 
All other sins a man commits are outside his body, 
but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
I Corinthians 6:18

Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, 
abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul.
I Peter 2:11

Pour Your Heart Out, Mommy Moments

Comments (22)

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Hi Lori,

I've been following your blog for months but this is the first time that I've ever chosen to comment.

On the subject of porn and erotica, I would strongly encourage you to to take a look at this website: http://www.mychainsaregone.org

This website has changed my life permanently. In fact, it is still re-wiring my mind and heart even as I am typing this.

I believe that it is vitally important to teach both our young men and young women about the dangers of porn which directly and grotesquely objectifies people and the slippery slope of so-called "erotica" which tends to objectify sex acts between people. The genre of erotica is showing mass appeal to women today as evidenced by the wild success of the novel, 50 Shades of Grey.

I am currently teaching my sixteen year old son Paul the value of godly purity. However, what I am teaching him today is not exactly the same as I was teaching him two years ago. A few nights ago, my boy and I watched the critically acclaimed movie Schindler's List about the Nazi persecution of Jews and it was deeply moving to both of us. I never watched when it first came out because I was warned by Christian media that it had violence and full frontal nudity (the Jews in the camps). Now, I can see that it was a mistaken judgment because the context of the nudity was not an intention to sexually titillate but to accurately portray what actually happened in that dark period of history.

I could say much more, but please look at that website thoroughly and tell me what you think. I'm very curious as to what your impressions are -- or anyone else for that matter.
1 reply · active 635 weeks ago
Anything that can help people be freed from the addiction to pornography is a very good thing. I believe the bible when it tells us we are dead and freed from sin. I also believe we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. The battle for that freedom is in our mind. Do we really believe and trust God? Thank you for you website. I hope it frees many from the chains that pornography has on so many people today.
Such an important topic! Thank you for your words of wisdom as we are still in the teaching and protecting portion of our parenting journey. Every Young Man's Battle is a book we are about to begin with our oldest soon.
1 reply · active 635 weeks ago
We, as parents, need to stay very vigilant and it sounds like you are doing a great job.
Lori I have three boys and have been concerned about how to handle this. We do our best at home, watch what they watch and do a lot of talking, but I know we can do more. Thanks a lot for this great book, will look for it, I hope it is still in the market.
Thanks a lot for sharing, visiting from Titus Tuesday.
Have a super blessed day!
Love http://www.ugochi-jolomi.com/
I have not looked at the book, and I am wondering if you think it would be suitable to teach our older teen daughters also. At the least, it might help them to understand the battle that our young men face today, and inspire them to dress and behave modestly. Comments?
3 replies · active 635 weeks ago
I am not so sure. It may totally gross them out...It's been a long time since I have read it but I think you should read it before letting your daughters read it. I don't think I would let my daughters read it when they were teenagers. it is nice to keep them innocent about things like this. You can tell them in general terms about the strong male sex drive without going into details.
There is also a book called Every Woman's Battle. And there might even be some for Young Women. I have heard that the Every Man's Battle is definitely for men, but I read Every Woman's Battle and it was very helpful/encouraging! And it DID talk about what men face/go through too.
Good mommy! You need to protect that precious little son of yours.
This is why I love shopping at Trader Joes, Jimbos {like Whole Foods but not as expensive}, and Costco. There is none of that garbage!
Hi Lori, I appreciate this topic as it is very fresh for me, I am homeschooling a 13 yr old young man. I agree with you, except for the book choice. I purchased this last summer with the same intentions of preparing him in this area but quickly got rid of it because I decided to flip through the book prior to having him read it. Before I go on, I acknowledge that the authors probably had the best intentions but I highly recommend you preview any material before you have your child read no matter who endorses it, please! Young men are highly suggestive and this book went into detail, I'm talking vivid explanations on specific things such as a teenage boy "pleasing himself" as a family member slept on the floor, and other stories that I will only describe as locker room fantasies. Please reconsider a more helpful resource for your young man.
A few resources I have used are Joshua Harris books such as Not Even a Hint or I Kissed Dating Goodbye or to introduce this topic, Family Life Today has an excellent package called Passport to Purity as well as other good books. This helps to introduce this topic and open it up for discussion to which I endeavor to explain that young women are not objects for his lust but made in the image of God,etc. Thoughts for young men by JC Ryle isn't a book on the topic but exhorts a young man to pursue godliness.
This is an ongoing battle and one that I sadly had to explain to my teen that it may be for the rest of his life. But to teach him to think biblically and to turn his eyes away from worthless things as it says in psalm 119:37, as well as Job making " a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl" is a worthy battle. Thank you for your encouragement!
1 reply · active 635 weeks ago
Yes, I agree there was an ewwww factor to that book but as I recall, I think my boys felt it was very helpful. We, as women, can't imagine what men have to deal with in their sexual battle so I had heard this was a good book for young men to read. You, however, as a mother needs to decide what is right to teach your sons and seek God's wisdom. He promises to give it if we just ask! Your husband may have some very good suggestions since he is a man.
Another great website is Setting Captives Free, it has literally saved my marriage.
There is also a great website www.settingcaptivesfree.com which is helpful. It has transformed.
My marriage.
1 reply · active 635 weeks ago
Thank you for the website. I am happy it saved and transformed your marriage!
While I think that you have a great intention here... I do have to say that I attended a Christian college and knew lots of boys who had gone to Christian schools- and they still had access to pornography. I think it has more to do with what we do at home than what happens at school.
good suggestions
I have not read this book, but my husband absolutely loves it and takes this issue very seriously. He doesn't think it would be a good idea for me to read it, and I think I agree with him. He lead a mens accountability group for 9 years before we moved, and he said this is the best book regarding this issue. He also loves the book "Preparing your son for every man's battle" or something like that. We currently only have a 3 and a 7 month old boy, but he is already starting to think about how to protect them, and I want to protect them from this evil so much too!

We are now helping with youth in our new church. We were talking about something off this topic, but it came up somehow. Every boy in the class didn't understand or believe that it is a sin to look at a girl lustfully. They said, "that's just how God made them." I was sick to my stomach. The girls left, and my husband had a whole different talk than planned with them. It made me so angry that their Christian parents had never talked about it, protected them from it or anything (and one was the pastor's son)!!!
1 reply · active 634 weeks ago
You will like my post going out tonight. It evens goes to much greater lengths in protecting our sons and husbands from porn.

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