Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Do All Women Need College Degrees?

Without an education, I would be so much less effective in educating my kids, creating meaningful change in my community, supporting my husband, and even just being an interesting partner to him.

This was a comment left on one of my posts recently. I completely disagree with this statement.  I think our society has put way too much emphasis on education {man's knowledge} and mostly humanistic teaching.

My oldest daughter never went to college.  She became a professional ballerina instead.  She used her talent to witness to others the joy of knowing Jesus.  She is incredibly intelligent and loves studying the Word.  She is a great help meet to her husband.  If she decides to educate her children someday, she will do a fantastic job.  She creates meaningful change in her community by being involved in her church.

My mother never attended college, well maybe one semester.  She was the most amazing mother I could have ever asked for.  She was always home with us, disciplining and training us, fixing healthy food for us, and giving us a warm, clean home.  She helped neighbors when they were sick.  She taught health classes at church.  She babysat my children a lot when they were growing up.  She didn't need an education to accomplish any of this!

If your desire is to be a wife and mother full time someday, choose your path carefully.  Don't go into deep debt to get an education.  Don't pursue a career that would be hard to leave if you have children.  Some will say, "Yes, but they can work a couple of days a week."  I wouldn't have wanted to leave my babies with anybody ever.  I wanted to raise them full time.
 
College isn't for everyone.  Some women don't like college and shouldn't feel like they have to go because everyone else goes.  Get involved in community activities or your church.  Find out what your gift and talents are and use them to minister to others.  Maybe you love serving people.  Be a waitress or nanny.  College is getting more and more expensive every day.  It shouldn't be a requirement for every woman.  You can lead a very productive, full life without it.

Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.
I Timothy 5:9

Simple LivesFrugal Days

Comments (56)

Loading... Logging you in...
  • Logged in as
I have a bachelors degree and a masters degree. I'm nearly certain that I wouldn't have either had I met my husband earlier! But, as a single woman, who excelled at academics BEFORE meeting the man God had for her, it just made good sense to go on to school (without going into debt) to prepare for a career in the event that God hadn't intended for me to marry. I have no desire to go back to work now that I'm a homemaker and a stay at home mom, but I don't regret the time I spent in school.
5 replies · active 632 weeks ago
Amen sister!

I never finished my degree (BSN), and I have no regrets. It doesn't take a degree to be a good wife and mom!
2 replies · active 632 weeks ago
I wanted to burst into tears in gratitude and RELIEF, but I didn't. I just smiled and muttered, "Thank You, Lord!" when I read this. Amen to it! Amen!
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
College was a blessing for me - for my soul - in many ways. However, I do feel I was ill-prepared for the rigors of homemaking and wifedom. Not the college's fault. But an overemphasis on cerebral, inner-man development and a lack of development of critical organizing, home-working skills, left me floundering when I had to jump into domestic duties. I still struggle with a longing to dive into books rather than changing nappies. I don't know the best course for each - but I do think it warrants critical thought and careful consideration as you've suggested. Not a cut-and-dried approach here!
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
I applaud you for pointing out the fact that "college isn't for everyone". We all need to seek the Lord's will for our lives and follow that path wherever it leads, whether it be to college or not. God's plans for us are always the best.
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
I think this boils down to how much we should NOT compare ourselves to others. God has a plan for each one of our lives. He loves us right where we are, college educated or not. Bless you for pointing this out, and letting all moms know they matter. BTW, there is an education in being a homemaker.
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
I agree that a college degree is not necessary for motherhood! My mom and mother in law are the best of the best, and neither of them went to college. I went to college and I have my bachelor's degree. But I went to a very conservative, religious college and I got my degree in Family Science with an emphasis in Early Childhood Development. So, in my case, I can say that my degree has come in handy during motherhood! :) I will say though, there's no way I would have finished college if I had been married earlier. I was married at 21 and graduated the next year. (And still wouldn't have graduated if I had gotten pregnant as soon as I had wanted to!)
But I definitely agree that college is not a prerequisite for being a good wife and mother. Actually, motherhood itself has been the greatest education I've ever had! :)
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
Thank you! I have received my 'advanced studies' by being a homemaker for 32 years. Homeschooling .. gardening .. church work .. all have contributed to the wife/mother/grandmother that I have become.
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
I went to college, but the best education I have gotten is my own reading and research, along with life experience. So, when it is said that "education" is important, I agree; however, I don't believe it should be limited to college education.
2 replies · active 632 weeks ago
Cynthia Swenson's avatar

Cynthia Swenson · 632 weeks ago

I agree with every word in this post. I might even use stronger language, suggesting "education " is often an idol. I won't elaborate, but I will say I am so thankful to God when He exposes and trashes my idols! He is a jealous God and we must love Him above everything! Every good gift I have comes from Him alone! Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia
3 replies · active 631 weeks ago
Thank you for this post, Lori. I have an advanced degree (JD) and I currently use it every day in my position as an attorney at a nonprofit. However, I am single and I do not yet have a family of my own to care for. I wish someone had told me seven years ago, as I was graduating from high school, that college wasn't the only choice. I grew up in a family that highly valued education, as my parents (baby-boomers) were the first in their families to go to college and they saw college as the essential means to a better financial situation. But thirty years ago, college costs were much more reasonable and (at least for my parents) scholarships were more readily available. I do not think a college education holds the same promise for my generation (20 somethings) as it did for my parents' generation (50 somethings). Now, even law school graduates face staggering unemployment rates (or under-employment, or employment that doesn't relate to their degrees) and staggering amounts of debt. College is certainly a necessary and valid option for many who feel God calling them to a profession that requires a degree, but "post-secondary education" is being way too narrowly defined as a 4 year degree. A "post-high school education" may consist of starting your own online business or blog, doing self-study, taking narrowly defined courses related to your goals, getting a job, internship, or apprenticeship in your field of interest, or volunteering. In fact, my father's suggestion that I get a job in the local, family owned market when I was 15 lead to me learning more about professionalism, the pragmatics of running a business, customer service, and marketing than I ever learned in a university lecture hall. One caveat to all of this is that I think a young woman should seriously consider the path her parents desire her to take (college, no-college, working outside the home, etc.). In my home, not going to college would have been unacceptable to my father. He had saved money to send me and it was his dream for his girls to get college degrees. Although I don't think adult children are called to strictly obey all of their parents' wishes, I do think they are called to honor their parents, especially when your parents are still financially supporting you.
2 replies · active 632 weeks ago
I do not agree with everything you write here, but I do think this is a pretty good post! I would never make or guilt my children into going to college. Depending on what my children wanted to become I may encourage a trade or vocational school. My husband could have gone to college to become a diesel mechanic. It would have cost about 35,000 dollars a year (I think it was a two year program). Instead he spent the last two years of high school also in a vocational school. When he graduated he went out and got an entry level mechanic job, now 3 years later, he is an intermediate diesel mechanic. Some of the other guys who went to college are now apprenticing where my husband works. Although they went to college, they will start out at much lower wages, and most likely have student loans. I do think parents have a tendency to push their children into college, and have also neglected to teach them practical life lessons (like budgeting, taking care of a home, etc.).
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
I have enjoyed the comments and the post. I also went to college and was working full time in health care until my first child was born. Now I am home full time with my children - a step of faith for my husband and I in finances, but God made it work! My mom was home like yours, Lori, and is one of the most intelligent women I know. But I think some in that generation felt they went "from my parent's house to my husband's" and didn't ever live "independently". Well, from one who did, I don't think it's all it's cracked up to be! (While my job was very rewarding it was also very stressful/physically demanding and I think my body physically bears the results of that. I watched some of my coworkers who worked "part-time" to be at home with their kids slowly get sucked into more time, so they couldn't leave on time.) I realize some have to work, but I am so grateful that I can be home with my kids rather than pay someone else to do the job I want to do! And God has been faithful - we have had more than enough financially.
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
My mother went to university along with her sisters, my grandmother and some of my great aunts went to university in the 1920s when women didn’t attend higher education. Some became leading in their fields, some become mothers and homemakers, some combined motherhood with work. All were wonderful Christian women who were loving and caring, helped others (great cooks and sewers) and women to look up too. Some of them travelled the world and continued to learn. None were feminists and would never have dreamed of going down that path. Higher education is not for everyone but for those who do attend and find it useful (as I have done) that’s great. God’s plans are not the same for every woman and through prayer each one of us will be guided by God to where we need to be. We do not need to compare ourselves to others, their path may be very different to our own.
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
This is something I personally struggle with every day. I am going to graduate this spring with my bachelor's and I love studying, but not what is expected next! My parents and environment pressure me to be academically and professionally successful, but my heart completely desires to be a stay at home mom and maybe have a small business or write on the side.

After graduation, I am expected to work until I have children. I am so scared of this! This is not the environment I feel comfortable in. But since I love college and studying, I was thinking about staying in school to finish a second degree in biology and then go to dental school. That way, I could choose my own hours and not work as much but still have something to fall back on if (heaven forbid) my husband would pass away.

Right now my dad has terminal cancer and my mom is trying to find a job. I pray for a miracle and for my dad to be healed because luckily right now he is not very sick yet. My mom has a master's but has been out of the workforce for decades raising her children, so now she cannot find a job she is qualified for. This only adds to my stress--could this also happen to me?

So this post speaks to me very much. I know the best thing to do is to work for a while before children (especially to pay off my student loans, which I don’t feel comfortable asking my husband to do). He is going to be in school for 3 more years so this especially means I should work. But all I dream of is to be a housewife, as silly as that sounds, just like my great grandmother, grandmother, and mother before me. I guess I just have to be patient. Thank you for bringing this topic up for discussion!
3 replies · active 632 weeks ago
I began telling my two daughters around middle school to be thinking ahead about the topic of college debt. I warned them that having too much college debt could prevent them from being able to stay at home with their children. They rolled their eyes, but I kept preaching. We helped our oldest daughter obtain her bachelor's degree with no debt. She chose to borrow money for a graduate degree for tuition, books and even living expenses, against our counsel. Now she has a good job but about $40,000 college debt that she is only paying the minimum on. I don't see how she will ever get to be at home with her children. She is about to become engaged. Maybe a miracle will occur, but it looks pretty dismal. The decisions we make now can impact the lives of those yet to be born. Women, please think about the future of your children.
4 replies · active 632 weeks ago
I agree that not every womanI agree that not every woman, or man, needs a college degree. But every woman needs something she can fall back on should her husband die or leave her. When I became a single Mom of 3 young children overnight I don't know what I would have done without my R.N. and BSN. It is foolish to think your husband will always be there to provide for you.

The military is a good way to get education in a field you might not otherwise think of. My niece, who does have a BS and MS, went into the Army. They trained her as a cartographer, a field that is actually in high demand in this post 9/11 world. The military also gives you the opportunity to travel and meet new people.

There are many technical programs that are 1 to 2 years long that provide solid training that can be used should a stay at home Mom need to return to work at some point. To have only a high school education really isn't sufficient today. I would like to see high schools have 2 paths: academic and technical. I believe Germany has something like that. It could be possible to finish high school with some job skills.
I agree that college isn't for everyone. A 4-year degree isn't necessary for many careers, plus it doesn't guarantee a good income like it use to.

I believe for me college was the right choice. I grew up in a small rural community. My family was poor and my father disabled. Neither parent finished high school. If I chose to remain at home I would have had to get a job (no waiting for prince charming). My options were quite limited, especially without a car. I could have found work at a local factory, become a waitress or bartender. That is about it. My high school friends who didn't move or go to college are all factory workers now.

College was a pathway out of poverty for me, and I give thanks to God for leading me on that path.
I agree; we should not push everyone (male or female) to go to college, especially with the debt that it often incurs. I wish I had thought more carefully about the debt I incurred when I went to college, but at that age, it was all very abstract to me.
Hey, new follower from the GFC blog hop. Great post. I'm looking forward to reading more of your blog. :)

xo,
Kristin
aboutagirl.ca
Great point! I did get some college degrees, but I very much agree with your point. I wish I had a nickel for every woman I know who WANTS to stay home with her children, but HAS to go to work - just to pay off college debt! It's something young women should be warned about before accruing debt for an education they may not use much in their life as a Wife & Mother.

I think the Community College is a very wise course for many women. In two years or less, you are trained for a JOB (which cannot be said of most four year degrees), and it costs usually about 1/4 - or less - what the 4-year college costs.
MrsNinjaMom's avatar

MrsNinjaMom · 632 weeks ago

I grew up being told in the public schools and by my parents that I needed a good college education. I almost joined the Navy when I was 17 but decided not to. I ended up going to college just because all of my friends were, I had no idea what I wanted to do or was supposed to do. Sure, I wanted to get married and have kids but I can't remember ever really thinking through the implications of those desires during my college years. All I knew was I was supposed to get a degree and find a job, something that terrified me. I began following Christ in college but I look back on the 5 years I spent there as mostly a waste of time and a waste of my parents' money. I was the first on my mom's side of the family to graduate with a bachelor's degree. I am thankful for growing in my faith through the help of a campus ministry and churches I attended, and having some awesome experiences through mission trips. When I graduated with a degree in Spanish I had planned to be a missionary but I felt as though God was not going to let me do that, I knew I needed to mature in the Lord before He would call me to do that. So still not knowing what to do with myself I attempted to join the Army. I remember praying, "God if this is not what you want me to do, then you are going to have to do something major to stop me. I don't know what else to do than just move forward with this plan."
About 2 weeks before I had planned to sign my life away to the military, an acquaintance from church, a tall, handsome, professional cellist/math teacher came more into the spotlight of my life. On our first date I knew he was the one for me, and I knew I was not joining the Army. It scared me to death.
Four months later we were engaged, and 4 months after that we were married. We moved to where he grew up. At his old church a sweet woman asked me if I'd like to be in her "homemaker's Bible study." I inwardly scoffed. But I began spending some time with women who valued keeping their homes and raising and educating their children in the Lord. And I realized that this is my calling.
Two months after we got married I got pregnant with our first child, a boy! Now we have two boys in less than 4 years of marriage. I can honestly say that I have learned more in marriage and motherhood in these last few years than I learned in all the rest of my life put together. I am very thankful for these wonderful blessings, and for the sovereignty of God in my life. Even though I wish I hadn't gone to college, I know that God had a purpose for it and His timing is always perfect.
1 reply · active 632 weeks ago
Thank you for that! We are at a Y in the road as my 11th grade daughter will soon choose which way to go. what if they are vey gifted (High Sat, Psat scores) yet isn't ready to go off to colleges. (many are inquiring, with scholorships)
just need extra insights
thanks
I was pushed into higher education but quit. It wasn't gods will for my life. I could do it and impact our community but it doesn't mean I should. I feel ripped off now that I'm a mum, home maker & home schooler. I could have spent those years learning skills that could be used now rather than trying to figure it out!
First generation Christian, first generation SAHM, first generation home schooler.. Hard work ladies!! Be grateful if you got an upbringing in any one of those areas.. It makes a difference..
I'm confused. You write, "I wouldn't have wanted to leave my babies with anybody ever. I wanted to raise them full time." But didn't you have a nanny? This seems disingenuous.

I have a Bachelor's degree and a Master's degree and am currently a full-time homemaker. While I don't necessarily think all children need a college education, I don't feel my college education was wasted either. College is not just about getting a job, it's about education. College provides personal enrichment, discernment, and teaches one how to learn, among other things. The people I know who have gone to college are more curious and engaged in the world than those who haven't. The skills I learned in college and graduate school help me to be a better wife and mother everyday.

Even for women who wish to ultimately become homemakers, I think it's unwise to write of higher education all together. What if she never gets married? What if her husband dies, becomes disabled, or leaves her? What if she wishes to work after her children have left home? There are numerous reasons why a woman would need to be able to support herself and be financially independent. Study after study has consistently shown that people with college degrees earn more than people without them. Yes, there are some who have made a good living without going to college or getting advanced training, but statistically this is the exception rather than the rule.

Post a new comment

Comments by