Monday, July 15, 2013

Serving Your Husband Is Offensive?


Courtney from Women Living Well has written a book that she asked me to review.  It will be coming out in October.  I will be writing a longer review on it later but I wanted to tackle this one issue she brought up.

Four years ago, she was on the Rachael Ray Show.  Courtney said the following on the show ~

"I went to college.  I graduated with honors.  I could have chosen to have a career, but once I married my husband, he became my career.  I love taking care of him. I find fulfillment in that...It's hard work to take care of a home.  It is a job, and I do it full-time."

Rachel then asked the crowd, "Show of hands.  Is there anyone here who finds this a little offensive?"

So let's get this right.  You can murder unborn babies, practice homosexuality, send naked pictures of yourself over the Internet, and have sex with anyone you please, but if you dare to want to be at home serving your husband, you are being offensive?

It is amazing how truly offensive this is to so many people.  Whenever I write about women being "keepers at home,"  I get a lot of hateful comments.  Let's just look at the way our bodies were created.

Women's bodies were made to create and nurture children.  Men's bodies were created to be strong, full of testosterone, and able to "slay the dragons."  Even if you don't believe in God, at least look at the way each sex was built and for what intended purposes.

We are led to believe that a woman's freedom is taken away if she has to stay home, raise babies, and take care of her husband.  This is a lie that, we who are believers, must no longer believe.  This is God's calling for the vast majority of women.  We are the ones raising the next generation.

Yes, people will find it offensive if you say these kind of things but don't worry about it.  The only person you need to be worried of offending is God and believe me, He is not offended at all if you want to be at home serving your family.  In fact, He is very well pleased.

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, 
and to be a joyful mother of children. 
Praise ye the LORD.
Psalm 113:9

Comments (67)

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I love Courtney's blog! She is an inspiration to many women who want to serve God and their families. I am a proud stay at home wife and mom to a wonderful husband and three beautiful kids. I always knew I wanted to be a SAHM. But I have to say my load is heavier than I imagined. My younger two are special needs and even though I know I am where God wants me I don't always feel fulfilled by it. I feel worn out and ill equip for the job I have. But I keep on going, one day at a time doing the work God has called me to.
2 replies · active 607 weeks ago
Things like this are what make me realize that we Christians are on the right path. Satan attacks anything that is good and glorifies anything that is wrong. Keep doing what you are doing! And thanks for showing the true colors of Rachel Ray. It is my suspicion that she wouldn't even be on network TV if she didn't make comments such as these.
4 replies · active 609 weeks ago
I love this post. Reading your posts is always a great way to start my day and helps keep my mind and my heart going on Godly paths. I too have a graduate degree and a full-time job now that my children are grown, but being a wife and mother are by far my most important careers.
You are right. This should not be offensive, especially not to those who supposedly advocate a woman's right to make her own decisions. It is also true that a woman need not give up her freedom. I am not married and have no children, but I am the daughter of a stay-at-home mommy. I would not have had it any other way, and I hope I can provide the same experience for my children someday. I would like to note, though, that a woman can still serve her husband and care for her children and home without giving up her career, or rather she can make career choices that allow her to still invest a significant portion of her time in loving and nurturing her family. She can still work part time or from home, and there are a few jobs out there that would enable her to take her children with her. There are options, and I have seen women pull it off. As society's attitudes change like this, developing an assumption that women want and need to have a career, our standard of living will increasingly become such that, no matter how simply we live, both parents will have to work. I think we need to have a balanced approach to this topic, upholding the fact that most women are called to be wives and mothers while also acknowledging that a single income simply does not work for all families.
2 replies · active 610 weeks ago
Very enlightening! I love this post! It inspires us to take a stand. I'm proud to be a stay-at-home wife! :) Great job everyone to everyone especially those who are stay at home mommies! :)

Visiting you from Happy Wives Club! :)
1 reply · active 610 weeks ago
I get a lot of the same reactions. I left my teaching career to stay home after my 2nd son was born. People tell me that I'm wasting my graduate degree and look down on me because I babysit now. I'm thankful that God provided an opportunity for me to stay home and still help with our income. I am so blessed to be able to serve my children and my husband and I wouldn't trade it for anything. These years will pass all too soon!!
I agree with your blog which is why some days I am so confused that my career has been so blessed by God while my husband's career has been stagnant for 12 years. So much so that I am now the breadwinner making 3 and a half times more then I did 12 years ago while he stays at home with the kids. I am thankful that we are in a position that he can stay home but I still question why wasn't it me that got to take that path. I'm the gender that was designed for staying home and nurturing kids. I truely believe it is God's plan for the woman to stay at home but then again, how do you explain his blessing upon us where I'm working and he stays home?
1 reply · active 610 weeks ago
It surprises me how true I have found this to be. Once I started homeschooling on top of that, wow, the input was shocking over the years. As if I someone believe I am "less than" and can't possibly be "fulfilled". I today can share that becoming a keeper of my home is the most fulfilling thing I never knew I wanted. It is a rich life, a hard life, a life full of joy. And the best part? The personal change. There is no room for climbing any ladders here, becoming less is HOW I became more. The person I am delighted to be today. I thank God for opening my eyes
Sandy Bowman's avatar

Sandy Bowman · 610 weeks ago

I think it is offensive to the world. Most things in the Bible are offensive to the world. Love your neighbor, forgiveness, purity, modesty, live in peace, maintain sexual purity...I could go on and on.
I think it's great when women get to stay at home with their kids and can manage the house. It is a very tough job because so many people look down on people like this. "Oh, you don't have a job..isn't that nice." Insert disapproving look here. I am a full time working mom who does not get to spend a lot of time with my husband because we work opposite shifts to take care of our kids. I also homeschool them. It is tough. Does it make me any "better"? No, I lose my temper more, get frustrated easier, stay stressed more because I can't keep my house clean, keep the dishes and laundry done because I'm tired. I would love to stay at home. Our world will attack anything not liberal. I watch so many marriages crumble because spouses won't take care of each other. The world tells us we are weak if we "give in".
This is a fabulous blog article! Thank you so much! After working in the cut throat sales industry for years, my husband and I made the huge decision for us to change our lifestyle, and for me to be able stay at home and raise our baby. Best decision ever! What I find offensive is that Rachel Ray finds it offensive that some women are home keepers, yet the majority of her fans are the home keepers watching her show. I used to be a big fan of her, now I am disappointed.
1 reply · active 609 weeks ago
I can see where it sounds a little weird to make "serving your husband" your career. I am a full time homemaker, a Christian, and I love what I get the privilege to do all day long. I love serving my family, raising my children, making a Godly home. Don't get me wrong.

But I don't consider serving my husband as my career. Homemaking is my career, and it is my joy to serve my husband within and around that. Just as if I had continued to work. Then, nursing would have been my career, and it would have still been my joy to serve my husband within and around that career. I serve him because I love him, because he is my husband, and because I promised to love and honor and submit to him. I do not serve him as a career. To me, they are very different things.
1 reply · active 610 weeks ago
Why do other people care? No one is making them stay home and serve their husbands. Wasn' t the whole point of "women's lib" supposed to be we get to chose? The fact remains "they" (feminists) are only happy if you agree with them --- that you only have value if you earn a paycheck. "Feminism" has to be the worst thing that ever happened to women. Don't they realize that women have always worked outside the home? (usually by necessity). Except now they've made it an expected thing, leaving women who chose something else for their family to be looked down upon by modern society as "unambitious" "lazy" or "brainwashed".
2 replies · active 610 weeks ago
I have a strong circle of family and friends who are like-minded, and who are/were homemakers themselves, so that means I face very little of this type of criticism, which I appreciate.

But, I really dislike going to my husband's work functions, because it always ends up that we go around the table and everyone is asked what they do. When I say, "I stay home with our kids," or "I'm a homemaker," there's just a long, awkward silence. It's so foreign in their worlds, and I believe that they sometimes infer that I must not be employable, nor very bright, since I don't have a job. It bugs me, but I know that their opinions of me really don't matter. My husband is respected and well liked at his job - they all know he is a man of God, so supporting him in that is really all I care about in regards to the people he works with!
Dawn E, Brown's avatar

Dawn E, Brown · 610 weeks ago

LOVE,LOVE LOVE THIS,ABSOLUTELY THE TRUTH...THANK YOU FOR BOLDLY STATING.THE WORLD NEEDS TO HEAR THIS...
I'll be honest..i am confused by this idea of serving our husbands....i have no problem with the sahm thing....have been doing it for almost 14 yrs...thanks be to God....but does *serving* mean the husband is supposed to come home and do NOTHING. Is that somewhere in the Bible? Is the husband just supposed to go to work and come home and sit in his chair and do nothing? And if that's not true...someone please show me scripture that says so!
2 replies · active 608 weeks ago
I really loved this post. Recently I was told that I was lazy and ungrateful and worthless for being a stay at home mother and wife, and, on top of that, an attention seeker because I reached out to my "friend" after 2 weeks of sickness, teething and potty training. As most SAHM's know, any of these ALONE are enough to stress any one out. I have a hard time appreciating my role in the home because I do not contribute money wise and many others see being a home maker as a sign of weakness and tell me so. I am so grateful for these articles because I know that I AM worth something in my home and that I AM doing the right thing for my children
I watched the segment for the first time. After reading this, I was under the impression that Rachel Ray found it offensive. After watching it however, she seemed pretty open-minded and curious. She had asked the audience first if anyone thinks it could work, if it's a valid option for people. Then she followed with the offensive comment. A Proverbs 31 woman is unchartered territory for some people. How will they learn if not by asking? That said, I have as well gotten the comments about being a stay-at-home-mom a few times myself. I have worked on and off. Homemaking is hard work and serving your husband and keeping things organized is a full time job. I love the way Courtney handled herself and I think she did a great job representing a Godly wife. Very proud of her and her husband.
1 reply · active 609 weeks ago
We can have it all as women just not at the same time. I was in a season of being a stay at home mom, homeschooling my children. Now that they are older I am in school. There is enough time to do it all, you just need patience (not something we have much of anymore).
Lori, thank you for posting this. I never would have thought of Rachel Ray as someone like this. I won't be watching her show EVER AGAIN! I won't waste my time!
1 reply · active 607 weeks ago
I just found your blog and am so glad that I did. You have a great gift for writing.

God Bless!

Sur
Stopping by from The Happy Wives today! I totally agree. My blog is all about my marriage, and one of my favorite things in life right now is being a wife! It's surprising how many women take it for granted and don't care about their marriages like they should!
1 reply · active 610 weeks ago
Where are you lady's from fairy land what about the man taking care of the women. Marriage breakdown and divorce are all to common and nothing suggests the trend is likely to reverse any time soon its more common for a man to have an affair then up and leave with a younger women and you are stuck with no job skills because you were a stay at home mom. then who is going to take care of you?
3 replies · active 608 weeks ago

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