Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Are Homeschoolers Not Socialized?


Many people believe that children who are homeschooled are "weird" or shy and can't fit in with the other children.  They aren't socialized properly.  I think this is such a bad argument against homeschooling!

Are all the children in public school not "weird"?  Are they all outgoing and fit in well?  Do they all get along with others, thus socialized well?  NO!  There are all types of children in public school.  There are also all types of homeschooled children.

I have met homeschooled children who are wonderful!  They are well-behaved, happy, and easy to talk to.  I have met public school children with the same qualities.  There are also homeschooled children who are shy and socially awkward, but so are some public school children.

The most important thing with socialization is what goes on in the family and the temperament of each individual child.  Some are more outgoing and happy than others.  Some talk more easily.  It has nothing to do with whether they are homeschooled or not.

The main reason one should homeschool their children is to protect them from evil influences and train them in the ways of the Lord.  As Nancy Campbell says,  "We are not faithfully teaching our children unless we teach them what it means to walk in the fear of the Lord. This is the foundation of their education which is more important than any other curriculum. The fear of the Lord teaches them how to keep pure in the midst of wickedness, how to depart from evil, and walk in the way of life."

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 
You shall teach them diligently to your children, 
and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, 
and when you walk by the way, 
and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Deuteronomy 6:6,7


Comments (9)

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I agree! We homeschool our girls and they are all pretty shy before warming up to you. I have always been quiet shy myself, but went to public school my whole growing up years. All kids are different. We do involve our kids in co-op and extra activities that they enjoy, and they are in church, so they are socialized plenty:)
I'll be starting to homeschool my son next school year, when he starts kindergarten. I will admit that I questioned the socialization thing at one point, too. I went to public school and I'm about as introverted as you can get, where my husband and son are both outgoing. We are active in our church and he attends AWANA. When finances allow we will probably get him into some type of sports activity. He has interactions. I see it as controlling the types of influences in his life.
I agree that there are all personalities of children in all types of educational settings. Sometimes homeschoolers can be too 'socialized' with something always going on and rarely staying home. I also agree that we should train our children in the ways of the Lord, but there is no guarantee that they will always choose to walk in His ways.
Sheila Payne's avatar

Sheila Payne · 600 weeks ago

There is good socialization and bad socialization. We homeschooled K-12 and sooooo thankful we did. I taught in the public school system before we had children. I saw then and there that this is no place I want to send my future children. My cousin is the top guy in our county's school system and he never failed to praise me for keeping my kids out of that system (as he also did his own).
I am a public school teacher and I did not homeschool my kids because I felt that I lacked the patience and competency in all areas to do so. I admire and salute those who homeschool well. We have one one of our four children, who very sadly succumb to the bad influences in the public schools, even though we did everything possible to give him a foundation in God at home. Homeschooling might have prevented this. I do believe that there are people who do not do a good job educating their own children and their children basically grow up playing computer games all day. That is currently happening with one family I know well. The children will never be self-sufficient because they lack basic education and can't even read. Homeschooling can be an excellent thing if done well - and a disaster if not. Thanks for this post.
1 reply · active 600 weeks ago
Funny you should comment on this. Just yesterday someone asked me my thoughts on homeschooling and I said almost the exact words you did: That it can be a better education and provide better opportunities for moral development if done correctly, but if done poorly it can be a disaster. I too know of two families whose children play video games all day long and they pretty much look/act like wild cats. I think the structure of school is helpful for many people, and in some families kids would really like a break from their mom esp. if the family dynamics are not totally healthy. I teach childbirth classes so I sometime have adults in class who were homeschooled. Some loved it and will 100% homeschool their own children, and some are kind of "meh" about it and say they will send their kids to school.
I agree with you that poor socialization with home-school children is an unfortunate stereotype. I know many lovely families who home-school and are raising well-adjusted children. This seems to be especially the case with large families where the family by itself serves as a community for children to learn, grow and serve others. Also, among the home-school families I know, the ones whose children regularly interact with other children at activities like AWANA, youth groups, organized activities, or even extended family members or homeschool coops, seem to be the most well adjusted. My only concern may be for an only child who is home-schooled without being involved in any sort of community of others within his general age range.
What is your opinion of the following quote from Pastor Steve Schlissel? Assuming dad is at work all day, does he have a point about a lack of adult male involvement in homeschooling?

"Moreover, we should let the little secret out of the bag that homeschooling is far more fitting for girls than for boys. By learning at home, girls are in their future dominion headquarters; boys are not. The truth is that homeschooling can be dangerous for boys, keeping them from challenging male role models, narrowing their field of vision, stifling their godly instinct to be aggressive, a little messy, and overtly and physically competitive."
What would you recommend for families living in societies where homeschooling is illegal?

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