Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Keeper At Home ~ A Horrible Expression?


There are a lot of people who disagree with me on different subjects that I teach and that is okay. I certainly do not know everything or claim to know everything. I just teach my convictions and sometimes they even change except for those that are solidly biblical.

The topic of keepers at home always initiates a lot of discussion. 
One women made this comment recently on this post ~

As a empty nester, middle aged woman, I never looked for a career. I always wanted to be a wife and mother. However, that was not God's plan for me. After years of doing foster care, we adopted a child in his teens. He obviously quickly became an adult and moved out on his own. 

Through foster care, God led me to my calling of nursing. It would have actually been disobedient *NOT* to have answered this call. I work 32 hours a week, living my calling, and am paid very well to do it. My husband has three day weekends every week, and I have plenty of time to be a so-called "keeper at home", which is a horrible expression, BTW. 

I think you suffer from tunnel vision, thinking that 1. Paul's message for how to care for widows isn't adaptable to the 21st century, 2. That all "career" and "Career women" look alike.

Cabinetman is a frequent commenter on my blog and I always enjoy reading his perspective on different subjects. He responded to this women this way ~

Almost every teaching in the Bible we don't like gets attributed to "it isn't adaptable to the 21st century." Which is just false and your calling God's Word false by the way {to put it another way you are saying God is wrong}. It isn't that it isn't adaptable, it's that we as His people are not being obedient to His Word. 

Your situation is not the situation Lori was speaking about, unless you are neglecting either your husband, your grown child, your home or things the Lord is asking you to do {in church, for those in need, etc.}. If that is not the case, then this message is not for you. However, most career woman are indeed neglecting those things. One only has so much time and energy in this life and giving 32 or 40 hours to "the world" and your boss is a pretty sure fire way not to have that energy and time to give to those who need it most, your husband and children. {And I might add teaching younger women as God commands!}

Great food for thought!

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, 
and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.

Psalm 113:9

***Another verse about being a keeper at home!

Comments (13)

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Happy Wife's avatar

Happy Wife · 573 weeks ago

I totally got what you meant! For myself I could never be a carreer woman and still be able to care for my family and home. But my sister, she has one of those go getter personalities where she is just so organized *sigh why not me* and can juggle all of her busy life without negelecting anything. She and her husband have found a system that works for them and she works 40 hours a week and still cooks dinner from scratch most nights. She even cans and preserves a lot of the families food during the summer!

But not everyone, or maybe most women, can be like her so your caution has been to make sure that you aren't putting your job before your family. Wise advice. :~)
3 replies · active 573 weeks ago
Loving been his wife's avatar

Loving been his wife · 573 weeks ago

I have two sisters like yours Happy Wife; alas not I. I have to work hard at being organized. I was very organized when the children were young before we started renovating our little home; not a good idea!!!!
However we are at the end of it now and I can see the light at the end of the renovating tunnel.
One of my sisters even ran a childminding business from her home and still kept a beautiful home, cooked wonderful meals and that was all with a son who is disabled. Her home was as neat as a pin!

Keeper At Home ~ A Horrible Expression?
Hi Lori, I love that I am the keeper of our home! I feel God has blessed me so much in making it possible; everyday I try to learn more ways to do a better job there is so much help on the internet now days. Especially You Tube; I love You Tube! I have learned so much about keeping a home from growing food to cooking to making beautiful decoration for my family to enjoy, keep chickens, making my own soap, Laundry detergents.................! I just this week made a new wreath for our front door all from Youtube!
I could never imagine not being a Keeper At Home; it really is such a blessing from God to be able to care for my precious family!
I am one of those very organised women, my mother said I show the signs from a very young age, it wasn’t something she every taught me (my parents are very organised as well, so perhaps it’s in my genes). Working and looking after my family hasn’t been overly difficult and I certainly have the energy to do this even now that I am in my late 40s. The job I have came about through much prayer and I strongly believe that if the Lord calls you to follow this path, He also provides the energy for you to do it.

But I couldn’t stress enough – I also love caring for my home and put lots of energy into making it a cosy nest for my husband and I (our children are all grown up). I would also stress that women shouldn’t take “any job” but careful assess the sort of job that would also meet her family needs. Likewise, if a woman decides to set up a homebased business, she also needs to look carefully before commencing.
Most women simply do not have the energy men have. Men have ten times the testosterone women have so they can go out in the world and " slay the dragons." Some women may be able to do it all; raise godly children, serve and please their husbands, keep a tidy home, fix nourishing meals, etc. and work outside of the home but I think it is very few. Each woman is going to have to decide how much she can handle. I, too, love the title of "keeper at home," Jilly, and am very happy I was able to do it without having to work outside my home.
Oh, I am so glad to be a keeper at home. Especially after having been out in the workplace full-time! I have the sort of personality that needs the gentle, fulfilling, rhythm of a housewife (the more commonly used phrase here in England). As I am often required to be my disabled husband's carer, I know I am in the right place.
I don't see how "keeper at the home" could be offensive. To me it sounds like (and is) an extremely important job. People now days just don't understand the value and importance of strong homes.
Lee Lee Bug's avatar

Lee Lee Bug · 573 weeks ago

I don't find the expression troublesome. As a full-time working mom I love to keep my home on the weekends and I enjoy cooking for my family in the evenings even though I have to rely more on crockpot recipes than I would like.

I actually take vacation days to deep clean my home and find it to be very fulfilling. I would prefer to work part time, but my husband wants me to work full time for now and I am honoring him by doing so.
Being a keeper at home is a biblical expression. To say it is a horrible expression is to reject God's word. The world wants us to reject His word, to interpret "keeping at home" as a lazy, passive, menial activity. But when we ask our Lord to: "bless us and keep us", we are asking Him to guard us, draw us near to Him, protect us, not lose us to the Wold, etc. In this context, "keep" takes on an active, indispensable, almost sacred connotation.
There are many of us who may be considered a superman or superwoman, and our capacity for work and for family, and many other things in life is far beyond others. I have traveled the globe, reached the top of my profession, and regularly work 55 hour weeks, and parts of weekends, but I always wonder if that is healthy, wise or even noble. Some of us super people may be losing out a lot on what life is really all about. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to try to be superwoman and deal with young children without a nanny's help if working.

So just because some have capacity to organize and outwork and manage others, does not mean it is necessarily profitable for them, their quality of life or their health long term. I do what I do do because of an insatiable need to help others instilled in me by my parents, but I bet it killed my Mom at 46, and gave me high blood pressure at 25.

I think many women I know lose out on the best of life and family,during the best years, because they fee they must work. The days of chivalry are over and few men will work two jobs so that that their wife can work less or stay at home with the children. We have reached the modern era where men are happy to see women working and helping to pay the bills. Less sacrifice for them and more sacrifice for the wife. This is far from the Christian ideal of a husband's sacrificial for his wife.
I have been a career woman and am now a keeper at home. I homeschool our 3 boys and wouldn't have it any other way.

As a young woman and young wife I had a very difficult time finding anyone to mentor me. Most Christian women I knew we're working and didn't have time to meet with me. I pray I remember that as my children are getting older so I don't fill up my time with "good" things and neglect the command to teach younger women.
I just want to pipe up and say that in Biblical times, most people worked out of their household. Each household had a family business, in which every member participated in some way. So, it's not that the Bible says that women should only work at home, but it's assuming a very different economic model than exists in 21st century America.

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