Thursday, March 6, 2014

Our Really Bad Marriage?

Ken asked me yesterday if we had a really bad marriage in the past as I have written in many past posts.  After thinking about it, I decided we really didn't.  It was difficult, but not bad.

We both agreed we always loved each other, which in my mind means we were committed to each other.  We never pondered divorce since we decided that would never be an option for us.  Even then, neither of us ever wanted to get a divorce or even separate.

We have always been physically attracted to each other.  We never yelled at each other, threw things, or called each other names.  We simply argued ALL. THE. TIME!  Well, maybe not all the time but a lot of the time.  We were in a power struggle and we both wanted to be right.

Then I learned I wasn't suppose to argue with my husband.  Sure, I could discuss things with him but not demand I was right, go on and on, and disrespect his opinions in the process.  Have I arrived yet? Do I know how to state my opinion clearly and then let it go while respecting him and his opinions?  No, not completely but we are working on it.  {Ken has things he is working on also and wants my help to become a better husband.} 

The root of the issue was and is my lack of respect for him and his leadership.  I am still learning what exactly that looks like.  It includes my tone of voice, my lack of listening to him and arguing with his opinions, instead of listening and not arguing even when I think he is wrong.  These are the things I still need to work on the most; learning how to discuss things with him and still respect him in the process.

God tells us His commands are not burdensome.  He reminds me I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Every morning now, I ask the Lord to help me respect my husband and I know He will do just that.

Respect comes in many colors.  The lack of respect most women show their husbands, I believe, is the greatest failure most women have in marriage.  When we truly respect our husbands, we will be submissive, obey, please, and all those other things a godly wife is commanded to do.

So, how about you?  Do you respect, truly respect, your husband and 
his leadership of your family?

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, 
and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ephesians 5:33