Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Maintain Your Femininity


When Paul wrote I Corinthians 11, he was writing to women about femininity. Women who were feminine understood their submission to their husbands, the authority their husbands held, and wore their hair long and veils as a symbol of their femininity. When feminism reared its ugly head, women protested submission and authority by tearing off their veils and shaving their heads.

The culture's way of defining femininity in that time was long hair and veils. There was a divine distinction between men and women. We must honor our culture's distinction and show society around us that we are different than the feminists and honor submission and authority.

What is the distinction between men and women today? I honestly don't know. I am beginning to understand why there are many women convicted of wearing their hair long and dresses. They want society to know they are different. They hold to a different set of rules than the world around them. They want God's order manifested in the church for the glory of God.

So how can we maintain our femininity if we can't grow our hair long, our husbands don't like our hair long, or we don't like wearing dresses all the time? For one thing, we can seek to have a meek and quiet spirit which is so precious to God. We can be submissive to our husbands and allow them to be the leaders in the home.

Concerning our outward appearance, we can do all we can to look feminine. Wear feminine clothes and a little makeup. Wear your hair in a soft, feminine way. Wear dresses whenever you can like when you go to church and maybe when you go out with your husband. Learn to speak softly and not get into arguments. I love watching Downton Abbey and Hallmark's When Calls The Heart. All of the women on these two shows wear feminine clothing {dresses} and they are beautiful!

What are some ways you try and keep your femininity?  Yes, the lines have definitely been blurred in today's society. It seems the only difference between men and women today is women wear their shirts and pants much tighter than men. That is the only difference I could really think of. It is kind of sad, really.

But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: 
for her hair is given her for a covering.  
I Corinthians 11:15

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves 
in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety.
I Timothy 2:9

***HERE is a blog of a 20 year old woman who teaches other young women 
how to dress modestly but look in style.  I even got some great ideas from her!


Comments (54)

Loading... Logging you in...
  • Logged in as
Love this. With three sons and one daughter so far we are making an extra effort to maintain our daughters femininity since I think it would be easy for her to become tough like her brothers. :) In the summer she wears only dresses and loves it! Btw...I am really enjoying the Hallmark series of the pictures you posted. I wish we still wore dresses like that!
3 replies · active 575 weeks ago
Samantha S's avatar

Samantha S · 575 weeks ago

One way I like to accentuate my femininity in my outward appearance in an easy way is in little touches and accessories- for example wearing jewelry and painting my nails (my husband loves my nails painted!) and also putting accessories in my hair like ribbons and headbands. These are things that men don't normally do. That is a good question to ask to see what is feminine in our culture- What would be weird and abnormal for a man to wear? Dresses, skirts, ribbons, headbands, purses, nails painted, jewelry etc. Also wearing flowing feminine clothing in light, girly colors maybe with some touches of lace, ruffles, flowers. That would be strange for a man to wear in our culture as well.
1 reply · active 575 weeks ago
Amen! 99% of the time I'm in a dress or skirt, apron, and my past waist length hair up in a bun or clip. When I'm in my handy dandy scrub top and knit pants (brought out on extreme cold mornings and layered when it's extreme cold like these past 2 days), I don't feel as feminine. My "look" is in the handmade skirts and dresses (mostly cape), the long hair usually pulled up and out of the way for functionality, an apron that flows over most of the clothing, and doing things around the home, from cooking, sewing, cleaning, whatever. My nails are horrible as I work with my hands all the time and nail polish wears off in the Dawn soap and handmade laundry soaps, and jewelry gets in the way of my activities. Make up is collecting dust in a bag in the back of the shelves in the bathroom. I get dirt under my nails and work outside, etc. I love laces, tiny bits of ribbons, light flowery sprays/perfumes/air freshners/candles, and flowers--lots of flowers. My way at home is more old fashioned, but it is the way we enjoy here.
1 reply · active 575 weeks ago
Love this too! I like to watch Little House on the Prairie and watch how Ma Ingalls communicates; she is soft spoken and chooses her words wisely, she seems so feminine to me. I enjoy being feminine and think people even treat me differently when I am dressed more feminine than when I'm not. I like a little modest jewelry or doing my hair in pretty ways. Smiling often goes a long way too.
1 reply · active 575 weeks ago
I love looking feminine and wear skirts all the time - not because I think it's part of my salvation {because it's not}, or that it makes me more righteous and in better favor with God {because it doesn't}, but because I feel that it is the most feminine, modest way for me to dress. I wasn't raised this way and did not grow up in a church that believes this way - it's a work God did in my heart when I was 17 and seeking what He had for my life.
3 replies · active 575 weeks ago
I grew up wearing skirts and dresses, but when I got into my preteens and teens I began to wear shorts then pants. I started wearing skirts again at 17-18 and from then on I have only worn skirts/dresses. The only difference during those years was my heart. I was rebellious, looking for ways to chase boys and trying anything I thought I could get away with. When my heart turned back to The Lord so did my outward appearance.
I hear a common theme in these posts, wearing skirts/dresses makes women feel feminine. It does matter what we wear and what we put on our bodies. It has an effect on our mind and heart. I don't cover myself out of any shame, just the opposite I cover myself out of freedom that I have in Christ, I belong to Him and to the husband I choose to marry and thus submit myself to. My beauty comes from the grace God has granted me. I cover my body out of modesty and uncover my face to show God I am unashamed of His creation.
Recently I was complimenting a young newlywed woman on the beautiful transformation I see in her life. She has joy, smiles most of the time, she prays diligently, I see her pouring herself out in worship at church. She has changed in her dress and hair, is more modest and conservative. The Lord whispered to me that she is like a jewel being polished and cut to shine to radiate the glory of God. She doesn't need to wear jewels because she is a jewel.
...just some things to think about. This world is a place of gross darkness let's shine for Jesus!
1 reply · active 575 weeks ago
This is a genuine question - what makes dresses/skirts feminine? I know pants are commonplace now, but back when Paul wrote this passage, men wore tunics, which would be considered feminine today. I get that dresses have the ability to be more modest (though not all dresses/skirts are modest) because they will cover and not accentuate certain areas. But what makes a modest dress/skirt more feminine than modest pants? Not all pants are skin hugging and low cut.
4 replies · active 575 weeks ago
I don't do very many of these things, but I wouldn't say that I feel unfeminine. I don't like to wear dresses or skirts. I wish I did, but they make me feel really uncomfortable. I can't wear makeup due to sensitive skin and eye issues (can't even wear contacts anymore). If we are going somewhere special or having pictures taken, I will put on minimal makeup, but that's really the only times I can wear any. I do have long hair. I have asked my husband if he would prefer I dress differently (I dress very casually and comfortably) or do anything differently, and he tells me no, that I am great the way I am.
1 reply · active 575 weeks ago
I am curious to know how the passage about long hair is considered just a cultural thing of the past? How do we determine then what is truth and still applies today or what was just a cultural thing of the time and no longer applies? I ask these questions very seriously as my husband and I have studied 1 Corinthians 11 over and over again. The majority of Christians do believe that it was "just those days" and it doesn't apply today. We have a hard time seeing it as a thing of the past. verse 16 seals the deal....

So what is long? I personally believe that it's what my husband deems as long. He is ultimately responsible. He loves very long hair (down to my waist), no makeup, just a wedding band, and skirts.

Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. Blessings~~angela
17 replies · active 575 weeks ago
I started my (now abandoned) ayearinskirts blog to explore the topic of femininity. Specifically why didn't I feel comfortable wearing anything but jeans? I would watch my daughter wear only dresses and be comfortable and I remembered liking dresses when I was young. What was stamped out of me that I now felt so uncomfortable? I didn't want that happening to my daughter either.
It was a good exercise. I'm now back to wearing jeans but I also wear dresses with leggings often too. I learned how to wear earrings. I learned to pay attention to my nails. I learned how to style my hair rather than just whipping it up in a ponytail constantly.
Skirts in our culture mean one of two things: You're trying to be religious. Or you're trying to be sexy.
For some reason skirts lost the middle ground of simply being an article of clothing that women wear. It now has this meaning. You can wear pants every single day of your life and not be making some kind of big statement. But wear a skirt every day and you most certainly are.
(And just as a sidenote: It would be really nice if you could find women with darker skin or other ethnic features to also include in pictures on your blog. As a mom with darker kids I'm much more aware now how excluded other skin tones and ethnic traits are. Of course it is your blog and you can put up what you wish. One of the reasons I loved watching the Bachelor wedding was I really enjoyed seeing such a beautiful darker skinned bride.)
1 reply · active 575 weeks ago
I know what you mean by women not been so feminine lately. My friends and I have decided on wearing dresses most of the time, to go out for tea and to go out with our hubbies. Thank goodness people are more formal here, where we live. We do get dressed
nicely to meet for dinner, or to go for tea, or to a cafeteria for tea or coffee and sweets with friends, or to our friends's home for social gatherings...so yes, we are more formal and Latin women seem to be more feminine in cloths, wearing dresses and pump shoes with hair a Little longer, along with perfume and a Little make up. My friends look great and we're in our early 60's most of us. (me 61, lol) Thank you Laurie, you made me think more!
FABBY
1 reply · active 575 weeks ago
I have a somewhat related question :) Do you think a wife should ever tell her husband what she likes him to wear or how she likes his hair? I know a lot of women who wish their men were more stylish.
1 reply · active 575 weeks ago
Great topic and one not written about nearly often enough. Outwardly, I like experimenting with my hair: buns, braids, updos, curls, etc. Having a style that can be accented by ribbons, barettes, and lacy headbands is a plus.

I wear jewelry, usually limited to a ring, earrings, and occasionally, bracelets. I also usually wear dresses and/or skirts and have come to prefer them to pants.

It's the inner man that takes much more cultivation, at least in my case, when interacting with GBH: the meek and quiet spririt, soft spoken speech, tender tone, demure demeanor, etc. I often fail but rely on God's strength to keep trying.
Lady Virtue's avatar

Lady Virtue · 575 weeks ago

Correction to my previous comment: I meant to sign in as Lady Virtue; pressed "enter" too soon accidentally! :-)
Beautifully written, I do so love feminine dressing - I completely agree with you! I do appreciate you sharing with A Return to Loveliness,
Kathy
I catching up on some reading, and to this one I say {GROAN}. Thank goodness I don't live in a society that judges women based on clothing style. Thank goodness I can wear what looks nice on me (and lace is not one of those things). Thank goodness I get to be comfortable. Thank goodness I don't have to dress like a pioneer to be a girl.
I think that our femininity is more a condition of the heart than of the outward appearance. Sure, ladies should look pretty, soff, and well-groomed, but a woman possessing that look can also be a feminist on the inside.
Refined oils are the ones that have been processed through bleaching and deodorizing. Even with all the processes the oil have been through, it still has its fatty acids but has lost most of its other nutrients. The fatty acids that it contains draw proteins to the hair. Refined oils are also cheaper than the unrefined ones making it advantageous on the stand point of money. More than just being cheap, it also has a longer shelf life than the unrefined oils making it a better choice for those who just use a small amount of coconut oil at a time. This type of oil is also has a better sanitation than the other oil because it has undergone several processes, removing bacteria and parasites that lingers within the oil. Moreover, this type of oil is highly available in the market and it comes in several different packaging for different uses.

coconut oil and hair

Post a new comment

Comments by