Monday, March 17, 2014

Emotionally Abused Women

There was a woman I know who was dating an emotionally abusive man. He would manipulate her with his words and actions, using his anger to get her to do what he wanted her to do. If he got angry with her, he would not speak to her for days and hold a grudge against her. When he was nice, he was very nice. When he was mean, he was very mean. Thankfully, she did not marry him.

What if she had married him? How would I have mentored her when she was absolutely miserable in her marriage? No matter how nice she was to him, he still treated her poorly. I know there are many women in this kind of marriage. I am only going to give my advice but I would advise her to seek other's advice also since women like this are in so much pain.

Being treated poorly is not grounds for divorce. I would never encourage her to get a divorce. I have mentored women who are being treated poorly by their husbands and my advice is always the same. Win them without a word. Good overcomes evil. Heap burning coals upon their head. A soft answer turns away wrath. Love your enemies. All biblical advice.

However, I would also encourage her to seek an older women to meet with on a consistent basis to continually build her up and encourage her. Since she is beaten down so much by her husband, she needs to be continually being transformed by the renewing of her mind. She is dearly loved by the Lord. She is called His child and He is a strong fortress around her. She needs to be reminded that she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her.

She needs a very strong support system that will pray for her and comfort her. It would be great if church discipline worked like it was suppose to work and the elders of the church would go confront the husband or even a good, close friend of his would do that. We are commanded to go and confront our brother or sister in sin.

We were never meant to go through this life alone. When you married a man that does not treat you good, you need help; good, solid, biblical comfort and support. Don't try to do it alone. Don't let your husband beat you up verbally without a strong support system underneath you to hold you up, pray with you and for you.

Continue working on becoming a godly woman of God and allow God to work on your husband since He is the only one that can change him.

Only the woman in this situation can decide what to do. Just remember, God hates divorce and divorce solves nothing of eternal significance. A godly woman sanctifies her husband. She may be the only Jesus he ever sees and if he spends eternity in heaven because of her faithful dedication to him and her marriage, it will all be worth the pain.

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, 
but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.
Proverbs 11:14