Submission is ducking so God can hit your husband! This is a cute illustration that shows perfectly how powerful and easy submission truly can be.
Men are made to fight or flight. If you fight and argue with them, they will fight and argue back or they will flee. Sometimes this is an emotional fleeing into a protective shell. So the more you fight them, the worse your marriage will come. No man has ever crawled out from under his wife's criticism to become a better man, as Debi Pearl so eloquently states.
When you lovingly accept your man the way that he is, God can convict and change him. As you draw closer to the Lord and become more like Jesus {kind, considerate, loving, not easily offended, forgiving, full of grace and mercy, gentle, etc.}, the more your husband will be drawn towards you instead of away from you.
Submission is your greatest evangelistic tool. It is so opposite of what the world teaches or our natural inclination. We want to fight for our rights, get our own way, and we think we are always right. All of these push men away from women. We wonder why so few men want to marry women these days.
What feminism teaches is polar opposite of what God's word teaches. Be strong! Be independent! Fight for your rights. It has caused havoc between the sexes, destroyed families, and led to the slaughtering of millions of unborn babies. God's Word teaches us to be strong in Him and in His might, be dependent upon Him and live in obedience to His Word. We are called to deny ourselves, even laying our lives down for others. The servant of all is the greatest of all.
So next time you want to argue back with your husband, mentally think of yourself as ducking and allowing God to take charge of your husband. He does a much better job. Any changes we make in our husbands don't last, but God's changes will.
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands,
so that even if some do not obey the word,
they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,
when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
I Peter 3:1,2
***Remember, you are a new creature IN CHRIST,
covered by His grace and mercy, and walk in newness of life!
Logging you in...
Cynthia · 572 weeks ago
I'm sorry, but I can't consider a quote with such a violent image to be "cute".
I get what you are saying about being overly critical. I would agree that fighting raises everyone's adrenaline, and makes people so defensive that they stop thinking and communicating.
At the same time, though, if I see that my husband is struggling with something or is heading in the wrong direction, the least loving thing for me to do would be to ignore it. That doesn't mean screaming at him, but it does mean going to him, assisting him and providing my input.
Cynthia · 572 weeks ago
1. Sarah saw that Ishmael posed a spiritual threat to Isaac, and took the lead in requesting that Abraham send him and Hagar away.
2. Rebecca saw that it was Jacob, not Esau, who should have the birthright, and arranged to trick Isaac into giving it to his younger son.
3. Zipporah literally saved Moses from being hit by God by quickly performing a circumcision on their son. (Exodus 4:24-25)
4. Esther intervened, even though she risked her life by approaching the King without first being summoned, in order to save the Jewish people from genocide in Persia. Aside from saving her people, she also saved her husband's life, as he would have carried the eternal guilt for the genocide if she hadn't persuaded him to issue a new decree.
Cynthia Swenson · 572 weeks ago
Robin J Cox · 572 weeks ago
I think it is very difficult to train our minds to be renewed to God's ways after years of living in the world. My mother and father were not Christians; I learned "worldly" marriage. They remained married until my father died, which is honorable, but they were not full of the joy of the Lord in their marriage.
This is something that I desperately want to be different for myself and my husband and children. I want my children to see Godly marriage. I saw my mother fighting my father on everything. He was very sinful, and not the man she wanted him to be, so she fought him tooth and nail in every area.
I want our children to see, even if their father is sinful in areas, that this is what a gentle and submissive spirit looks like in their mother and his wife. How else will they learn to be gentle wives and mothers?
There is nothing on this earth that I can do to change a behavior in my husband that I don't find becoming or healthy for our family. Believe me, I've tried in years past! The only option is to follow God's word and focus on doing what He calls ME to do - without placing too much focus on what my husband is or is not doing.
It is a lot like my little girls who are close in age, when they play together. Often, the older (who is obviously more mature than the two year old) will say, "Look, Mama! Look at her! She's not doing anything like you asked her to!" Sometimes, the elder will take matters into her own hands if she doesn't think I'm going to come and correct the younger. It is always disastrous. There are tears and fighting and strife between the girls. If the elder simply trusts Mama to come and deal with the error of the younger one, peace is returned quickly.
I have to trust God with my husband, and focus on what He has called me to do. I know He hasn't called me to boss my husband around, even when he's wrong. I can try and gently speak with him, but if he recoils, I am finding it is better to go to the Father and pour out my heart in prayer while dealing gently with my husband, sometimes saying nothing more.
Thank you, Lori.
Robin J Cox · 572 weeks ago
Courtney · 572 weeks ago
Happy Wife · 572 weeks ago
I hope you don't take this in the wrong, way. It is just something I thought of when reading the post. *shy smile*
Shelley Payton · 572 weeks ago
Tracy Word · 571 weeks ago
Loving been his wife · 571 weeks ago
Loving been his wife · 571 weeks ago
oxo
Cynthia · 571 weeks ago
I'm thinking about serious situations that involve sin issues, not arguments over trivia like eating salad.
What happens if the husband has a gambling addiction and demands that the wife sign forms to put a second mortgage on their home?
What happens if a husband is drunk or clearly unfit to drive, and he demands that the wife and kids get into the car?
What happens if the husband angers some shady characters, and someone shoots at their front door?
A wife may not be able to prevent a husband from ever gambling, or drinking, or driving dangerously, or getting involved with the wrong people.
Can she, though, refuse to sign the mortgage documents and try to preserve the family home for the children?
Can she make it clear that she and the kids will not get in the car when it's dangerous to do so, and that she'll drive herself or call a cab?
Can she take the kids and go someplace safe if their home is targeted, even if he objects?
Ken · 571 weeks ago
Your view of God’s discipline is not consistent with what the Bible teaches:
“Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.” (Hebrews 12:9-11)
When a wife ducks she is allowing God to train her husband in righteousness and proper living. He does so as a Father, not an executioner. Our same heavenly Father says He will provide for all our needs.
If a request seems quite unreasonable, dangerous or puts the family fortune at stake, the wife should seek counsel from others. Remember, in the church she can go to her elders and if they support her position of not obeying she has authority that may trump the request of her husband. Serious sin issues should be taken to a counselor or group of wise counselors to help work through the issues.
Also remember, a wife willfully chooses submission, and she may decide to not be submit and let God decide if she is right or wrong. She has the choice to be disobedient and her risk is that God will allow the circumstances to discipline her, He may withhold some blessings, or worse case she may incur God’s active discipline. In all of these cases we are dealing with the same loving Father, not some mean God so the risk is small so long as this is not a consistent defiance.
The circumstances you give here are outside the main context of what the blog post is speaking about. It may make for a good post on how to deal with a reckless or addicted husband, but a wife must do more than just duck if she is involved with an addicted husband or one involved with criminal activity.
Self-protection is covered by the verses that say that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit and verses on love and protection for one’s children, etc. The scriptures are replete with truth build upon truths and there are times that a higher truth trumps a lower one. Submitting to a husband who is about to commit a criminal act is forbidden by all the verses that ask a wife to first please God and walk in righteousness. Yes, if the home is targeted get out of there and call the police.
Also, a godly wife should not be involved in criminal activity. Run from it and call the police.
Yes a wife can refuse not sign on a mortgage, but to do so she has no Biblical grounds to stand upon so she should seek a higher authority of the elders in her church. If such bad men are after her husband for payment of debt, it may be wise for her to sign the papers to protect her husband, especially if he has already lost the house. It was his to lose at the time. It is complicated, so seek wise counsel. I do not see God’s Word protecting a wife from the financial ruin of a husband. So to seek such protection probably requires the elders authority if one desires to remain Biblical in their approach.
Here is the bottom line in my opinion. Because God has asked a wife to be submissive does not mean he has asked her to stop being a wife, to stop thinking or acting as a partner in the marriage, nor stop protecting the children. She will need to use her heart and mind to seek God’s will and when in doubt in any circumstance where a husband appears to have lost his sense of love and protection for his family, she should run for help. This is not a gray area when it comes to submission. Protection of one’s self and family trumps the truth about “submit in everything.” Or does it?
Is it not possible that the person asking the wife to break the law or put herself in danger is not her husband speaking but the addiction or mental illness? Who is she really submitting to?
Imagine the wife gets into the car with the drunk husband and it crashes and all end up in the hospital. When the husband is no longer drunk what might he say to the wife?
“Wife you know me and you know that who I am as a person would never want you and the kids to get into that car with me. I would want you to grab the keys and throw them in the lake until I had slept it off. That was not me speaking. That was my addiction and drunkenness telling you to do those things.”
If a wife knows that her real husband, the one without the addiction or mental disease would want her to act against his will in these circumstances, then she is submitting to him by going against his request. This is why all godly husbands should discuss just such scenarios with their wives before such a set of circumstances comes up and give them a standing order that “if I ask you to do anything that might endanger you, the family or myself, I give you permission to run for help and disobey me. This is especially true if you believe that I am not acting like myself, the man you know and married.”
Robin J Cox · 571 weeks ago