There are husbands who don't want to help their wives with the housework and children. They work all day and come home tired. They want to come home and put their feet up and relax. The wives have expressed their need for help from them, but they still don't help. What is a wife and mother suppose to do then?
I think the first thing you need to do is to simplify your life. Get rid of the junk in your home so you don't have so much to clean up. When the children are small, don't have a lot of toys and knick knacks around the home. Have a simple home with few things. This makes it easier to clean and keep organized.
Make simple dinners. The only kind of meals I make are simple with healthy ingredients. I have never been a gourmet cook but I enjoyed feeding my children healthy food. This is a very important part of being a wife and mother. Plan ahead. Make sure you keep all the ingredients on hand so you can whip up a good meal quickly.
Don't be involved in a lot of activities outside of the home. The Bible commands women to be keepers at home. This means your main ministry revolves around the home: cleaning, cooking, training, etc. When your children are young, you don't need to be in Bible studies, ministries at your church, etc. Keep your focus on your home and your family. The ministry the Lord has given women, after all, is to guide the home and be keepers at home. He did not give this ministry to men.
Don't have hobbies that take up too much time. Sure, it is good to have something you love to do at home but just make sure it doesn't rob your family of your time, especially things like facebook, twitter, email, television, etc. Make sure you are getting plenty of rest, sleep, water, and nutritious food. Take care of yourself the best you can.
Finally, remember your children will grow up. As they are growing up, teach them to help. Teach them to help you keep the home clean, to cook, to garden, etc. Your life will become easier as you get older if you do this. They will be gone before you know it and then you will have a lot of free time in which you should use to train the young women.
Your husband will have to work and provide long after the children are grown up. As much as you can, allow him to relax when he is home. If he helps with the home and children, great but if not, learn to do it without him and love him anyways. Working out in the world and providing is a heavy burden godly men must carry. Appreciate him for it and try making his life as easy as possible. If you do this, I bet he will want to begin making your life easier, for we reap what we sow.
I will therefore that the younger women marry,
bear children, guide the house,
give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
I Timothy 5:14
Cynthia · 577 weeks ago
The first is a practical situation. There are only so many hours in a day. Yes, it was hard when my husband was doing his internal medicine residency and working 80-100 hours/week, and when he clearly needed whatever sleep he could get when he got home after a 36 hour shift, but it was obvious to me that this was simply a fact of our lives. I was tired, but not really resentful.
When he was around and awake, though, his first priority was spending time with our daughter. He's still like that - he worked all this past weekend, but still came home to take our son to hockey. I know that if he's available, the children are his priority. I would be concerned (and wouldn't have married him) if this wasn't the case.
I'm less concerned about the house. Children need a father, but the dishes don't care who washes them. If he's earning money, that's also a contribution, and if we are both busy and the budget allows, there's nothing wrong with paying for some help.
Elissa P · 577 weeks ago
Kath · 577 weeks ago
Victoria · 577 weeks ago
caryntalty 1p · 577 weeks ago
mvstephenson 44p · 577 weeks ago
@elissaphilgence · 577 weeks ago
Daily I am learning to be the Proverb 31: 10-31 wife God as called me to be---"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies...
Peace to you.
Tierra · 576 weeks ago
@elissaphilgence · 577 weeks ago
Daily I am learning to become the Proverb 31: 10-31 that God as call us to be.
shannon · 577 weeks ago
ayearinskirts 66p · 577 weeks ago
Mbb · 577 weeks ago
Cynthia · 577 weeks ago
With my first 2 babies, I found that it was actually easier for me if I went out with them. We lived in a small apartment when we had baby #1, and neither the baby nor I enjoyed being cooped up all day. The local YMCA had a great family resource center where we could play, attend singing groups, spend time with other moms and tots, etc. so we walked over every day. Baby #3 napped more, so I spent more time at home.
oklahomanicole 30p · 577 weeks ago
queenlyreign 8p · 577 weeks ago
Kayla · 577 weeks ago
Not the best way to go about it I know. My husband works from home, so our family is together at home basically 24/7 which I think contributes to my frustration when I don't feel that he is helping as much as I'd like. Anyway, hopefully thinking of it as my God-given ministry will help :)
Anonymous · 577 weeks ago
I have known many honorable men who worked 60+ hours a week, but didn't fold towels at home, too. Were they "bad husbands?" Or are our expectations out of line? I do have great respect for my Great-Grandfather, who did the week's laundry (before machines were available) for his frail wife on Monday morning before heading off to a very long week of work - but I don't see that as a requirement, but rather "above and beyond the call of duty"
I worked in the men's professions for many years before marrying - I know what it's like out there, and I am eternally grateful that my husband braves all of that to serve us, and to make it possible for me to stay at home and be a homeschooling Mother.
I have told my husband, "If you work all week to support us, you ARE helping at home!"
Christine · 577 weeks ago
Cynthia · 577 weeks ago
I did this a couple of years ago, purely for my own practical purposes to plan stuff, but it had a dramatic effect when my husband and I saw everything laid out graphically in black and white.
While you're planning, if he wants gym schedule, schedule it in - and then ask about your time at the gym and with friends as well.
Also, have you ever tried sitting beside him and watching TV too?
FWIW, I've had times where I was a working mom, and times where I was a stay-at-home mom. Juggling was a challenge, but the actual workday at a working mom, even when I was doing a fairly stressful full time job, wasn't really any more demanding that what I did at home. There are some exceptions - my husband will be completely drained if he needs to deal with a young person newly diagnosed with cancer, or if he's on call and working long hours for 14 days straight, and I've been distracted when dealing with bad abuse cases - but otherwise, work is work, whether it is in the home or outside of it.
Christine · 577 weeks ago
Lauren · 577 weeks ago
Because I worked for a Christian ministry most of my single life and got married in my late 20's, when I had my first baby it was really difficult not to feel guilty for stepping back from activities at church, Bible Studies, discipleship relationships, volunteering, etc. I still feel internal pressure from myself to be a part of things I think will bless others or encourage my spiritual walk with Jesus all the while trying to do everything you mentioned above. It's overwhelming and makes me break down in the most important area of my life-home. So I'm learning to trust Jesus and be obedient with the role he's given me as wife and mother.
I am thankful to have found this blog because I think you are addressing heart issues of a woman and reminding your readers of God's design for them. It's helpful to combat the lies that tell me to do more for others at the sake of my children, husband, and home.
creativeaimdesign 14p · 576 weeks ago
When we had our baby, I stepped down from graphic designing for our church because it was taking too much of my attention from my family and our home. I miss it, but there will be another season when I can design again! Having young ones in the house has been a wild new season of life for my husband and I, but I know it will fly by too fast...
Amy @ http://livinglifetruth.blogspot.com/