Whenever I encourage women to be keepers at home, I receive comments from women who can "do it all" and can't understand what the problem is with working full-time out of the home. I have incredibly wise readers and sometimes they respond to these women better than I do. Here is one example of what I mean ~
Don't see where there's a problem...I work all day and still manage to
make home cooked dinners 7 nights a week. It's not that hard. If I'm home
by 5 pm, there's plenty of time to cook dinner, clean up, throw a load
of laundry in and straighten out the family room. So, I can bring home
the bacon and fry it up too...and yes, I LIKE my career, it's taking
advantage of my God-given abilities. So...if I decided to give it up,
wouldn't I be wasting the gifts that God gave me?
One of my readers responded to this woman this way ~
You may not see the problem, but it's definitely there. It's attitudes
like this that keep the rest of us women in bondage. I'm happy that you
can do it all, but you need to understand that this is not how most
people--both men and women--are built.
How many men come home from a
full day's work, labor in the kitchen, clean up, straighten up the
house, AND do laundry? If you're happy playing Superwoman, so be it. I
would have given anything to have been told I didn't have to do it all
while I was still working full-time, and I know most of my friends are
equally miserable.
Our culture expects us to be Superwomen, running
ourselves into the ground; God does not. Furthermore, to respond to the
question you posed at the end, I believe that God gave me many gifts.
The notion that I am somehow "wasting" my gifts by not using them in the
workforce is absurd. Don't I have any influence on my husband, family,
and children?
I'm a gifted writer who is teaching my own children how to
write. I'm a critical thinker who is teaching my children how to think
critically. Whatever impact I make on the next generation is a valuable
investment of my talents. Being a stay-at-home wife {and later, mother},
was good enough for our mothers and grandmothers. Why are we trying to
reinvent the wheel, as though we somehow think we're better or more
liberated than they are?
I love learning from the women who read my blog. They give me many things to ponder and learn. Thank you, all of you who participate and give great responses like the one above! Many women are coming home to their families and loving it.
Logging you in...
katy010305 45p · 553 weeks ago
Anne · 553 weeks ago
Linda · 553 weeks ago
Liz M. · 553 weeks ago
Lady Virtue · 553 weeks ago
Yvonne Mangum · 553 weeks ago
I believe that women who are married and have children CAN also have a career, but that does have a price. Sometimes the man does not make enough money to support his family and the woman has large earning potential. I was there. But you HAVE to consider the big picture. Some marriages can be creative and you can both be frugal - to compensate for lesser income and more time with family. But IF you can make it work for the woman to be home, I STRONGLY encourage you to view that as the best option. It's biblical, it's proven statistically by tracking 'outcomes' of children by social services, in divorce figures, in the happiness and health of the entire family.
EVEN IF you can work all day and have the energy to play with your kids, teach them, cook good whole food meals, clean house, do laundry, STUDY THE WORD, have time to exercise and still have the energy to have sex. REALLY!?!?! DO YOU WANT TO BE THAT BUSY ALL THE TIME??? Where is the 'spending time together' in all that?? When I was married and doing all that I could only sleep 4 hours a night. I was crabby to everyone and tired ALL the time. Nobody was getting the best of anything from me.
I'm a 50 year old single mother of a teen now. I own my own business, own my own home, I am a post child for the feminists. (barf) I am active in my church... and I'm chronically EXHAUSTED. At one point when my son was a toddler and my business was more 'successful' than it is now, I was sleep deprived and INSANE. My health and relationships suffered, GREATLY. And while I do not think that is why I am divorced, it certainly was a factor. I'm divorced because my husband was an addict. Was my 'doing it all' a factor in his sickness? How could I say it wasn't?? But the fact now is that I don't have time to seek a mate, I have a boat that has not been in the lake for 4 years... an activity that I always dreamed of sharing with my son.
I am from the generation of women who first proved 'we can do it all' and MANY of my peers and friends have done so. ALL of them would tell you there was a price paid for it. ALL. OF. THEM.
I HAVE to sleep 6-7 hours a night now because I did less for so long that I have health challenges and eye problems if I don't. THERE IS A PRICE. I would GIVE ANYTHING to have a solid marriage to a man who could provide to us. Don't be someone who didn't know what they had until it is gone... be honest with yourself. Even if you ARE able to get all the chores done all the time, aren't you giving up precious 'relationship' time with your spouse, kids, God, friends and extended family? The very relationships that feed our souls and are the real purpose for being?
ChristyH · 553 weeks ago
All the women in my family worked, even my grandma who went back to work when her youngest entered kindergarten. That was in the early 50's. They think I should be superwoman. They are disappointed that my daughter doesn't want to be superwoman. They may have been able to have careers but I can tell you their relationships are NOT good. Kids and spouse don't just need quality time, they need quantity time as well. You can disciple your kids if you aren't with them.
Christine · 553 weeks ago
A lot of great comments on this post, too!
MommaHorner · 553 weeks ago
Trisha · 553 weeks ago
However, I am on the end of putting my husband through school.
I have to work cause I am the one with the degree (older than my husband) and can get a job to support us until he is done with school.
We did not hold off on a family for this- we have a 2 year old.
But at least I am working now to get to the point where I can stay home.
wendytamaryoung 37p · 553 weeks ago
Personally I would never elect to work outside of my home, but isn't this one of those liberty issues? "In essentials - unity. In nonessentials - liberty. In all things Agape"
Jo · 553 weeks ago
Amanda · 553 weeks ago
Lari · 553 weeks ago
I thought this was the ideal woman. So I tried it too. We don't have a dairy, but we ran a trucking company out of our house and I had always worked with my husband in that. By the time my baby was 6 weeks old I had canned relish, green beans, made pickles, frozen corn from my garden, gone on a trip, dried all my laundry outside, had beautiful flower beds, had weekend guests, prepared for a government audit. All while trying to mother an increasingly fussy baby. The resulting emotional crash and years of recovery are not God's plan for any woman.
Ladies, if you can do it all- more power to you! But please don't teach younger women that they need to do that to measure up. Some of us need constant reminder to do less.
Brit · 553 weeks ago