Tuesday, August 26, 2014

The Clear Negatives of Mothers Leaving the Home


Women use to give me a hard time whenever I wrote a submission. I am not getting as many arguments about that anymore. However, I still get quite a bit of controversy whenever I write about women being keepers at home. For some reason, that is a HUGE hot button for many women.

During one of my posts and women not agreeing with what I had written, I found an interesting post written by Forbes Magazine, a non-biblical magazine. They have no vested interest in women working or not. They point out the gains women have made and the losses. The losses, to me, are so devastating that they negate any positives of women leaving their homes for work. What has suffered the most is the family, the backbone of any society. How can any gains be considered gains when the family loses?

Here are two paragraphs about the negatives about women working ~

Less time for mothers to spend with children due to their work schedules: There are definite downsides to women working. For example, mothers working full-time means they have busier schedules and less time to spend with children. "One third of all school age children in the Unites States are, for some part of the week, latch key kids; that is, they go to an empty house or apartment." As The Economist article warns, "Even well-off parents worry that they spend too little time with their children, thanks to crowded schedules and the ever-buzzing Blackberry."

Increased stress levels and changing roles: Harper and Leicht {Exploring Social Change: America and the World, 2007, p. 91} state, "The most pressing problem of dual-income families is not money, but the problem of managing 'ragged' family schedules and adjusting husband/wife roles." Women are currently juggling full-time careers, managing household chores and child rearing duties, as well as taking care of aging parents, thus greatly increasing their level of daily stress compare to women of previous generations. Family relationships have been shifting in dual-income families from patriarchal authority and "from fixed 'role scripts' toward more flexible 'role negotiation'" and egalitarian relationships.

And how is this all working??? Divorce is at an all time high. Depression an all time high. Suicide at an all time high. Broken family, broken marriages, and broken lives. No thank you. I will stick to teaching God's Word and His ways. He wants women keeping and guiding the home, guarding and protecting it from the Enemy. No, He doesn't say, "Women can not work outside of the home," but He makes His intentions very clear to us and what He wants from us. Plus, the consequences of straying from His will are extremely clear as stated in the article above.

Older women teach younger women to be...keepers at home.
Titus 2:3-5

HERE is an article from celebrity moms stating that working 
outside the home is hard on the family.

Comments (32)

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1. Is divorce at an all-time high? All the data that I could find - including from the conservative blogger Dalrock - indicated that the divorce rate peaked in 1980. After that, there was a slight decrease and a leveling off. The biggest increase in the divorce rate took place from 1960 to 1980, at a time when the feminist movement was taking off and divorce laws were changing.
http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2013/02/06/latest-di...

2. While I do see more men today taking an active parenting role with their children, I think it's fair to say that we haven't seen the same shift in men's roles, to the same degree, as we have with women's roles. This means that many women are essentially doing double-duty, and that there is a vacuum left in tasks that were traditionally performed by women.

3. The nature of work itself has changed. Modern technology has made it possible to do far more and to communicate from almost anywhere 24/7. Theoretically, this makes it easier to work from home or attend a child's activity - but it also means that many parents are always on-call and it's harder to give children and spouses 100% of attention.

One thing that has been truly valuable for our family is having 1 day each week where we leave all work, school, extra activities and electronics behind. While we do this as part of our Sabbath observance, non-religious sources are seeing the wisdom in having a day to unplug.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tanya-schevitz/nati...

We just had a few days away with the family at a cabin. Toward the end of the Sabbath, we were all playing a card game together and laughing. It was a perfect family moment. We also had those moment while hiking together the next day - all out of WiFi range.
1 reply · active 552 weeks ago
I so agree with you Lori! Nothing can compensate for Mom being home and being there for the family. When Mom is home; kids don't need an opportune time to talk - Mom is right there. Supper time is organized and much more relaxed. I could go on and on - I'm so glad my mom was ther for me all the time!
1 reply · active 552 weeks ago
Dear Lori, We must continue to share the importance of the role of the Mother being home! But it needs to be with sound teaching, with how they manage their time and what they do to keep the home from all things that cause division and strife. The mommas are still the best thing for our children!! I must say that being home is hard for some as we are so geared for activity and social and just being gone from the house is what I have seen.
Thanks again for this timely word; so many are still trying to do both when they may even be allowed to stay home. Having a career is very important to so many women now days.
Blessings, Roxy
2 replies · active 552 weeks ago
Of course I see the importance of submission and women being "keepers at home." My opinion is that the church can be very lax about teaching these truths. I have heard many sermons celebrating moms on Mother's Day. I heard one young working mom, after hearing the Proverbs 31 mom's day sermon, comment, "I guess I need to add some of these things to my schedule." Since the majority of women where I attend church are working outside the home that seems to determine how far and in depth the message concerning what being a "keeper at home" means. I agree with the mission and statement of faith of the church where I attend. But I'm wondering if the hot button topics are influencing the church instead of the church influencing the women concerning these topics. It's good to know that even some of the celebrity stars can figure it out. Do any of you hear this teaching from the pulpit, a serious exegesis of the Titus 2 passage?
1 reply · active 552 weeks ago
For some reason, that is a HUGE hot button for many women.

One of the reasons this is a hot button (and one of the reasons I don't touch it as much as I used to) is because there are not small percentages of men who -for whatever reason- have made the call that they need their wives to work outside the home to generate additional income.

In fact, I know more women who would prefer to be home but aren't than those who are out there trying to make their mark like the Geena Davis graphic you have at the top of the page. At best, many men are ambivalent but if pressed would rather the wife earn a paycheck.

Because I believe in prayerful submission while trying to organize your lifestyle in a way where your husband can see it as a possibility, I tend to leave that topic on the peripherals. Submission first. Then they can earn the level of trust from their husband where he can consider her desire to be at home and trust that she will be an asset at home rather than a liability.

But yes, you're right about the importance of having the wife at home. I fully agree. However, unless you can convince Dad as well as Mom that little Suzy's good grades are not enough evidence that she is getting the moral direction and support she needs, we'll continue to see large numbers of Christian women working full time from the day their youngest starts school.
4 replies · active 552 weeks ago
I know for certain that I would have been a working mom if I had not stumbled upon Dr. Laura's program when I was about 19 years old. She changed my mind completely! I truly thought that women who stayed home were either lazy, unambitious, or uneducated. That's quite an opinion I held isn't it? I saw no value in it. Only because of Dr. Laura's program was my mind changed, and I am thankful everyday that I didn't set my life up so that I had to stay in the workforce to afford a big mortgage. I pray that all of us women who changed and got the message can keep telling the younger women, because they are the ones who need to hear it so badly!!
2 replies · active 552 weeks ago
I agree with you. I work outside the home and I don't have any children. Where I work, a factory, the women are tired ALL THE TIME. There is always someone else watching their children, and I notice all the drama that this creates. I, for one, don't see where any of this women's lib has helped us, in fact, it has hurt us. I makes us have to work 24/7.
2 replies · active 552 weeks ago
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Lady Virtue · 552 weeks ago

Lori, despite the fact that is a HUGE, hot button topic, I do thank you for writing Biblically about it. Even when spoken in love (Ephesians 4:15), the truth WILL offend, no doubt about it. But the initial hurt feelings, wounded pride, and blow to the ego are worth experiencing for the Lord's sake if it leads to repentance, and the family stands to be blessed as a result. So many women and men both have been fooled by feminism and the culture's insistence that we have to have the latest material things. That pales in comparison to obeying God and loving your family.
1 reply · active 552 weeks ago
Do what is best for your family and follow God’s plan for you – He might take you (and your family) to unexpected places that you hadn’t planned. What your neighbour does is not relevant to you. Some people can manage much more than others, know your strengths and limitations and I know from experience, when things get tough, God is always there to help carry the load. He has never let me down and He won’t let you down either.

Whilst there has been a slight rise in suicide rates since 2000 ( but much lower than in previous decades), it isn’t due to women working — many more men commit suicide and it is closely linked to mental health. In fact these men are often struggling with work or unemployment/recession issues, financial difficulties, bullying, harassment, loss of someone close, relationship issues and this is where it is important for a wife to do all she can to help and it may mean taking some of the load off her husband, such as helping with the finances. Living with someone suicidal is very difficult and requires much faith and pray and lots and lots of strength. The most dangerous period for men are those 45 years and over, look out for your husbands for any sights of struggle with life. It requires taking your role as your husband helpmate seriously.
1 reply · active 552 weeks ago
Hi Lori,
I always enjoy your encouragement. At the moment my husband and I don't have children, I have some fertility issues that we are working through. Where we live in Australia the cost of housing is high. We took out a mortgage 5 years ago and due to both if us working and living frugally we will be debt free by the end of this year all being well. I currently earn a very good salary and I work from home which is a true blessing. We made the decision together that I would work until we are hopefully blessed with children and then I can stay at home.
I still feel at the moment that I am a keeper of my home despite the fact that i work, maybe it is because I work from home.

Am I doing the wrong thing helping my husband to pay off our mortgage debt? (a genuine question that I would appreciate your thoughts on) Without my wage it would have taken us at least 18 years to pay back. I long for the day when we are debt free and I can be a keeper at home and hopefully a mother.

thanks again for your wonderful blog and mentoring

Miriam
1 reply · active 552 weeks ago
It's easy to generalize a topic such as this, however, the fact is many women have little choice but to work. Not all have an ideal homelife i.e. a working husband able to support a whole family. Single mothers, divorced or widowed, are generallly forced to work while also raising their children. For married couples, some men simply can't swing the full financial responsibility - many people are underemployed today due to job losses beyond their control and the inability to obtain a job that will pay enough, not to mention covering insurance costs, education costs and saving for retirement.
While I fully agree that it is beneficial when a Mom can be at home, it is just not realistic for a great majority of families today who are struggline to pay for even basic necessities.
2 replies · active 552 weeks ago
While on a flight, I started to think about all this and our grandparents generation. What would have happened if the Great Depression and World War 2 didn't occur? Because of the depression and war, this generation lived hand to mouth. Afterwards, they tried to recreate the last "good days", their grandparents time, the Victorian times. The 20s looked very much like the 60s. I surmise that, if the Great Depression and World War 2 didn't not occur, the 30s would have looked like the 70s; the 40s would look like the 80s, and so on. Our grandparents world would look like ours now.

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