Friday, March 25, 2016

Enjoying a Stay-at-Home Lifestyle


She is getting married today and left this comment on my post Being Discreet in a Crass Culture. (There were many great comments on this post.) I loved it so much that I wanted to make a post with her comment on the day of her wedding for any of you who are looking for a godly spouse with the values that are important to you and raising daughters with these biblical values.

"These comments remind me of a conversation I had with my fiancé recently when I inquired about how we are going to raise girls (when the time comes) without them feeling like we are 'holding them back' by dissuading them from going to college. 

"I should start by shedding some light onto our relationship. We are engaged to be married on 3/25/16, and we currently run our relationship in as much of proper roles as we can, (without sex of course) with him being the decision maker and my submission in all things to his leadership. We've decided to homeschool because the Lord is leading us to do so, and we share some not-so-nice experiences with traditional school systems, as neither of us were homeschooled. We thoroughly discuss all things and the topic of raising godly children has been a frequent one lately. 

"Anyway, now I'll get to the point, that my wise soon-to-be husband shared with me. He said, 'Any future daughters of ours will anticipate enjoying a stay-at-home mom kind of lifestyle to the degree you reflect that you enjoy it, and even more so, by how our marriage will thrive in our proper roles, as God designed it to be.' It really got me to thinking that, it's really a lack of contentment that drives us to think the grass is greener on the other side. How glorifying is it to God when people witness a marriage truly modeled after Christ and the Church to the extent that both husband and wife are at peace, joy-filled, feeling fulfilled, and full of energy to minister unto others because their home (house/family) is in proper order? 

"People are drawn to what they perceive as creating happiness. People want to be happy. If we can draw others (especially our children) to us by reflecting how good it is (and content and happy we are) in our proper roles, that would certainly be a testimony and reflect godliness. Our children will see how proper roles really work, and how they make us joyful deep down, and they'll hopefully naturally be dissuaded from the things of the world. True, some readers may say, 'Well just wait until you have kids, young wife, you're in for a world of surprise!' But I'm exercising my faith that our future children will see the joy, order, peace and contentment of a biblically modeled marriage, and be won-over to desire the same for themselves as they mature into adulthood. After all, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (I was like her. I always knew my children would grow up to walk in Truth and to marry godly spouses, so I spent many hours making sure they knew the Truth of God's Word!)

Flika commented on this same post: "The Bible tells us that love is the ultimate gift. Why do so many women give up that opportunity to have a titled career? I will never regret being a devoted homemaker all my married years. I still love home even though I am widowed. I can practice hospitality and share Jesus. I did that with a little girl last year. I have dolls and movies about Jesus' life. After the movie of Jesus' birth my little friend said, "So that is how He was born." About two weeks later, she asked Jesus into her heart. I take her to church now at times and her sister comes too. Praying her whole family will. Love conquers all; Agape love that is. I made mistakes raising my children, but I claim the home is the most amazing career for a woman.

"Years ago when I was young, I prayed about working outside my home. Father God put a deep trust in Him that if I did life His way He would always provide. I was careful with our money and home. He has always taken care of us/me. I still am frugal and love to help others when I can. I use to cry when I was a child because no one loved home like I did. I decided to choose a career of being home. Everyone put knowledge above love and I wanted to be loved and to love others. I can go Home to Jesus feeling so very blessed. 

 "I would not waste my time in college when love is most important. So many men go without good jobs to support their families because women want careers and extra income to have all the goodies of life. Some women have to work outside the home. I didn't have an extended education. I kept my home and practiced hospitality to people from all over the world. Did we have grand things? NO! We paid $17,000.00 for our old farmhouse and I made it cozy. I did gardening and animal raising. I still pressure can meats, fruits and veggies. It makes me feel so content. My young friend that was in school with my daughter even hangs her laundry out in the Michigan winters. Why? She loves the way Gods fresh air dries them and she can feel His blessings as well and smell them all winter long. She knows the secret of feeling close to Father God. That is why I love her as a daughter. We speak each others language.

"I read of a young, very young, woman that was uneducated. But what she gave impacted every person ever living and lived. I don't know her last name but her first name was Mary. She birthed and raised Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. She never went to college and never had a career and God found her qualified to do the job He asked her to do."

There is a lot of wisdom in these two women's words. I pray their words bless you as much as they blessed me. There is no better way to live than the way God has ordained for you to live.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5

Comments (15)

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Thank you, thank you, thank you! God has been using your post to help strengthen me as a wife and mother. He has been dealing with my heart for the past month. He has truly supplied my needs.
1 reply · active 470 weeks ago
He sure will, Karla, since He is our Great Provider!
You know, when I was young and raising two little girls, I felt very embarrassed at times to say I was a stay at home mom. In my generation that was so BAD, behind and ignorant at times, when my friends were working out of the home with small children as well... and me, I was taking the girls to school, baking with them, doing homework, taking them to ballet and art classes after school, car pulling and never mind all I did at home.
Now that they're married I am so glad I could do that and I even flaunt it and thank God He enabled me too follow his teaching.
Thank you for sharing always.

Have a blessed Easter my friend.
FABBY
1 reply · active 470 weeks ago
It's even worse today, FABBY, even among Christian women. They hate my teaching on this topic as if I am judging them. No, I am teaching what the Lord has commanded I teach younger women and His ways are so good. Happy Easter to you as well!
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Anonymous · 470 weeks ago

It's so refreshing to see reference to our dear Mother Mary here, who is the model for all women, on this Good Friday.
2 replies · active 470 weeks ago
She was a willing servant to do God's will as we all should be!
Anonymous's avatar

Anonymous · 470 weeks ago

AMEN!
TheJoyFilledWife's avatar

TheJoyFilledWife · 470 weeks ago

You know, it's interesting... I don't know if it's just the way I present myself or if women are just being more honest, but women who find out I'm a stay at home mom always respond with, "Oh, wow...you're so lucky. I would love to do that." I haven't had anyone give me a hard time about not working outside the home, although I have had several offers and many executives I know tell me that they would hire me if I was ever interested in it later on. Im not, of course, and I'm very content at home and being by my husband's side to support him, but I understand what they mean and that they mean it as a compliment.

I remember a former boss of mine tell me that I could easily be at the top of the company within the next few years, but that he knew how much raising my future family meant to me and he admired the fact that I considered that more important than success in the career field. I really, really enjoyed what I did, but not as much as I enjoy obeying the Lord and serving my family. The eternal rewards are without comparison. I would never want someone else holding my children when they get hurt or being the one to answer their questions about God and life. I absolutely adore being around my children. This is the life. <3
1 reply · active 470 weeks ago
It sure it the life, TJFW! I wouldn't have traded it for anything.
Thanks for the link to the book, just ordered on my Kindle!
This was a good read! This sacrifice leads to much blessing!
Thanks for sharing! Education isn't necessary to have a fulfilling life, but it can be enriching!
Now that our daughters are grown, I look back on all the wonderful memories of family time - not only the occasional vacations but the everyday moments. Young mothers, you will never regret staying home with your children. It is the most meaningful, God-honoring, and important choice you and your husband can make for your family. And oh how those precious years fly by!!!
I Love reading all the encouraging testimonies. I am a young stay at mama with three small children (so far) I am so thankful that the Lord has put biblically Godly women in my life that set an example of a what a woman's purpose is. Even in the Christian world and in the church it is unbelievable how many people, men and women alike, will completely ignore and deny what Gods word says about his plans for women. When the world hears people talk about god's plan for women they immediately rise in defense because they think it is a "less than" role, but it is one of the most important roles in our nation today. It is a career that pays in eternal dividends. I'm sure you all have heard of Nancy Campbell and her ministry called "above rubies" for women. It is a WONDERFUL encouragement for all women and mothers especially. In case someone hasn't heard of above rubies I highly suggest checking it out, there is a free quarterly magazine and lots of other great literature. Like her book "the power of motherhood". She is doing a podcast right now about "the home". You can find it on the above rubies website.
While I didn't ever think of it the way your husband stated, it is so true! And my pride and love for being a homemaker-because it is so much more as a wife than just staying home with the kids(I don't have any yet)- is what I think has helped prevent me from being given a hard time. Sure, I have had people ask what I do but that's normal and warranted, a question we should take advantage of to teach. I remember one guy specifically asked what I did (in reference to a career) and I said with much joy and pride (I could hear the pride in my own voice haha is that bad?), that he looked shocked and didn't press further or belittle in anyway. I love being able to take care of things at home, learn new things as I please and have the opportunity to enjoy each day that I am blessed with.

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