Loneliness in Our God-Ordained Roles

 God made Eve for Adam because he didn't want him to be alone. Men aren't typically as relationship oriented and verbal as women. Many men are content with having a wife and not a lot of friends. We don't hear men complaining about loneliness like we do women. I strongly believe that God's instructions to women to be keepers at home is because He hard-wired us in such a way that we require a mostly home-centered life in order to attain to the gentle, quiet and meek spirit He finds so precious in us.

However, women have trouble when they pursue relationships outside of His will for them as proven in these verses where Paul is speaking about widows {young women}, At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention {1 Timothy 5:13}. Since he knows women LOVE to chat with other women, he commands that instead of going from house to house and talking; I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully {1 Timothy 5:14}.

We are also commanded to not forsake the gathering with other believers and that older women teach the younger women. We are to called to be with others but the main calling for younger women is to be at home, bear children, be a help meet to their husbands and older women to teach the younger women and be known for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work {1 Timothy 5:10}.

In these verses, it is clearly spelled out what we all should be doing with our lives. Yes, there will be loneliness at times being home with children all day, but this is what the Lord has called young women to do! Yes, it will be lonely at times for older women whose children have left the home, but the Lord has commanded that we use our time wisely to minister to the young women and the needy. I could be very lonely since I have had health problems for so many years, therefore, I have little social life. I deal with loneliness by not allowing myself to think about it and being content at home. Yes, we can choose what to think about and dwell upon. I choose to not dwell on my loneliness, but all the blessings the Lord has given to me instead.

Take a look at the Proverbs 31 woman. Her entire life revolved around taking care of her home, feeding and clothing her family. It says nothing about her having girlfriends, going to Bible studies, meeting others for coffee, etc. Older women are to teach young women to be sober, love and obey their husbands, be keepers at home, chaste and good. There's nothing there that states a woman's life should be anywhere other than revolving around her home. 

A large reason the feminist movement became so popular so quickly is due to the fact that wives and mothers at home were lonely so their answer to this was for them to leave their homes and find fulfillment in the workplace. We must combat this mentality by finding joy at home and learning to be content in our loneliness, even if we are the few who are obeying the call that the Lord has upon our lives.

I remember reading about Brother Lawrence who sat and peeled potatoes all day, yet learned to appreciate the presence of the Lord continually with Him. He is with you, young mother, as you are busy raising godly offspring and being a help meet to your husband. He is with you, older women, as you minister to your husband and others. He is with you, single and widowed women, who are living for the glory of God in whatever your hands find to do.

Being lonely isn't a sin {unless it turns to self-pity} and it is not unusual. When you are suffering, you feel loneliness in your suffering. When you are grieving, you feel loneliness in your grieving. We will all one day die alone. Life on this earth can be very lonely, especially for females since we crave relationship so very much. However, this is when you learn godliness with contentment is great gain. In heaven, there will be no loneliness for the ache you fill inside of you for fellowship will be filled entirely by your Lord and Savior and living in His presence. You also get to live in perfect communion with all of your brothers and sisters in Christ forever!

Maybe, just maybe, God wants you to learn contentment in your homes, women! Even for barren women, the Bible says, "He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD" {Psalm 113:9}. Being home taking care of your family is good and ordained by God for you!

By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.

Proverbs 24:3, 4

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