Monday, March 28, 2016

Chaste ~ Chapter Ninteen


Women aren't modest today, as you all can plainly see. If you try to explain to women why they should dress modestly, they get offended. I know. I have personally exhorted three women personally to be modest and none of them responded kindly to me. When my youngest son was 16 years old, he told me he wanted a modest woman who didn't dress to turn other guys on. He didn't want a woman who a bunch of guys had lusted after due to her lack of clothing. 

One man who wrote the Pearls told about a friend of his whose wife dressed very immodestly. It leaves me disgusted, frustrated and angry that a stupid, silly girl can cause so much trouble. Sometimes I feel my own bod betrays me, but I know I am a normal male with a normal need, and the problem lies with females dressing so godless. Talk about dishonoring a man, all the rest of the younger females in church dress as bad or worse...I want a girl who has not encouraged a thousand other guys to commit sight adultery with her by how she dresses. I want a woman I can be proud to call my own little treasure.*

One woman who I confronted about her immodesty wore little bikinis at the beach and provocative dresses to church told me that it was the men's problem, not hers. She is not a wise woman. God gave us ladies bodies that men desire as much as they desire life itself. It is a precious gift that keeps us "pretty" and desirable to that husband. It is not supposed to be used to entice men who aren't our husbands to lust after us.* {I can tell you that it is not easy at all to rebuke a sister in Christ who is in sin. It takes a lot of prayer to make sure it is coming from a heart of wanting to help and not simply to criticize. Like Michael Pearl said, if you are rebuking someone more than once every two months, you are probably rebuking too much!}

As help meets to our husbands, we must do all we can to protect them from immodest women. If a Victoria Secret magazine comes in your mail, throw it away and cancel the subscription. If you have girlfriends who dress immodestly, don't bring them home with you. Meet them somewhere for lunch, instead. If you are at church and you see an immodestly dressed women, go find a place to sit in the opposite direction. Dress modestly out in public. 

What is modesty, you may ask? It's revealing any body part that should be covered up and only for your husband's eyes; nothing that is too short or too tight either. Some believe shoulders and knees shouldn't be shown. Some believe you should only wear dresses. These types of issues should be decided by your husband since he is the head over you. Clothes speak to all who see us. Clothes make a constant profession. That is, they declare out loud {drowning out our words} our true heart condition and our attitude toward ourselves and toward those who see us.*

We aged women are to teach the young women to be chaste: pure in thought, word, actions, and to be modest and honorable in all things.* Besides dressing modestly, dwell on the lovely and the good in others. Don't allow critical thoughts of others to control you. Pray daily that the words that you speak will be seasoned with salt and will bring encouragement to those who listen. Act in a way becoming to the Lord so as to bring glory to Him in all that you do. Be a woman of discretion. Instead of drawing attention to yourself through your words, actions, and dress, draw attention to your Savior for He alone is worthy.

But let it be the hidden man of the heart,
 in that which is not corruptible, 
even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit,
 which is in the sight of God of great price.
1 Peter 3:4

Comments (10)

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Lori you are so correct. Dressing immodest is everywhere! Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, any magazine, Victoria secret, professional football cheerleaders, etc., etc., etc. - the list goes on.I am uncomfortable and disturbed that my husband sees other women. Yes it is his sin, but it's there and men look and I dislike it!
1 reply · active 469 weeks ago
Yes, this is their sin that they struggle with, Roe, but women have theirs like gossip, nagging, and manipulation. All we can do as a wife is make sure we are not defrauding our husbands at all by refusing to have sexual relations with them and keeping the junk out of the home. Our society is highly sexualized so we must keep our husbands in our prayers.
Should congregations not have something to say about this? Our minister has often instructed about modesty from the pulpit. I've observed that parents are even afraid to tell their teenagers what is to be expected of them, when it comes to modesty.
When women say that it's a man's problem and not her problem, she really has heart issues. We should never want other Christians to stumble. At a deeper level, why do some women want to dress provocatively?
1 reply · active 469 weeks ago
They like the power it gives them, Maria, to attract men's attention since men do look when a woman is dressed provocatively. It's an ego boost to women. I remember when I was young and unwise feeling this way. I loved the attention from guys but now I know better.

It's wonderful that your preacher warns women about this issue. Most are afraid to. Parents must never be afraid to parent their children and teach them right from wrong.
Right on! One reason we stopped attending a particular church was because the women on the worship team would regularly wear provocative clothing. Yikes!
1 reply · active 469 weeks ago
I know what you are saying, Kristi. We have had that problem also and it's very unfortunate. The Church seems to care more about looking like the world than looking like Christ.
Dear Lori
As a woman, it is hard to keep my eyes away from woman who dresses immodest. How should it not be for a man? It is really very selfish to think you can dress as you want and it is other people's problem if they have eyes to see.
I can understand that this must be a very hard topic to address. Thank you for doing so. Who as ears must listen, who has a heart must change.
I felt terrible for years being the one not liking how some woman can dress. So I cent quiet and tried not to notice. But I could never really except it.
As I am reading your blog I do feel more normal. I don't need to feel there is something wrong with me not liking it when woman needs to expose there flesh.
I do agree that your husband can be the leading one in hoe to dress. I het no problem with pants or shorter dresses or tops that are comfortably tighter, butter moment your clothes is just a second skin or too little it is no good anymore.
It is something that makes me angry for these woman don't know what they are doing and there silly excuse is to make it other's problem.
Please, you don't need to post it. I just wanted to share my feeling and conviction to you.
On the other hand you also get woman who will judge you for getting into pants. Here in Taiwan we drive schooter on ocations and really for that I got use to wearing pants. I do believe leaving this matter into our husband's hand is a wise decision. They seem to be more clued up.
Thank you for being so honest and really want to honor God in all you do.
I find this in trying to find clothes to purchase. Everything I come across has a low neck line. Even button down shirts. Mens start at the neck where womens start further down. I know I can alter them and I do, but it just disgusts me that its hard to find modest women apparel.
I will never forget once when I was at church and we were (including my 12 year old son) sitting behind a dad with his two daughters who were dressed as if they were at a bar. It was so disgraceful. One of the young women was wearing a sheer top that was split all the way up the back (fastening at the neck) and her bra and back were COMPLETELY exposed. Both of them were in short, daisy-duke style shorts! Our priest has written things in the bulletin before, especially in the summer, to please be mindful about not bringing the "beach" to church. It is sad that he has to write anything at all, but even without these reminders, you would hope that people would have plain old common sense. OR, respect for Our Lord in a place of worship at the very least! It is bad enough to see women exposing themselves like this in everyday life, but it is really sad when church isn't even a modest place for my 12 year-old's eyes.

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