Always Learning: Am I A Hypocrite?

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Am I A Hypocrite?

It's not possible that you and Ken never argue; that you have marital relations every day; that your children only walk in the Truth---they are human! This was an email I received lately. She never wants to read my blog again since I am a hypocrite or am I?

Do Ken and I ever argue? We really don't anymore. We did for many years but several months ago, I decided I didn't want to argue with him anymore. It accomplishes nothing good and is hard on the relationship. I figured if Sandy and Peter could go their whole married lives without arguing, I could not argue for the rest of my married life.

Do we have marital relations every day? We did the first year! No, we don't have it every day now and I never claimed that we did. I just encourage women to keep their husbands sexually satisfied and when they are young, they like it almost every day. If he only likes it every other day or even just once a week, that is fine but find out what pleases him. I definitely try to please Ken in this area as long as I am not dying from a brain tumor or something like that.

Do my children only walk in Truth? I have never used the word "only" when I state that my children walk in Truth. Yes, walking in Truth describes all of their lives. They love Jesus and live to please Him. Are they perfect? No, but they understand who they are in Christ, new creatures in Christ, and trust in who He says they are now.

I realize as a teacher I am held to a higher standard. I never want to be called a hypocrite or blaspheme the Word of God by not living what I teach. I believe God's promises, however, and He tells me I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. I have everything I need for life and godliness. I trust Him to work mightily within me.

I always want Him to get all the glory, not me. I can only live a godly life because of His power working in me. His ways work. I have tried them and I like them. I want to share them with others so they can live the abundant life also.

So, no, I don't live the Christian life perfectly. I have never claimed that I do but I will continue to allow God to work in and through me, drawing all my strength from Him and hopefully, looking more and more like Him as I grow older.

Let not many of you become teachers,

my brethren, knowing that as such

we will incur a stricter judgment.

James 3:1

Comments (36)

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Cassie · 616 weeks ago

Well put! Poor person must be struggling with her own family, it can be so tough. Thanks for teaching :D

1 reply · active 616 weeks ago

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ayearinskirts 66p · 616 weeks ago

It's funny how differently different people read the same things. I've read your blog for awhile and never once did I get the impressions that this reader got.

1 reply · active 616 weeks ago

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Jane · 616 weeks ago

Your blog is a blessing! especially to us young wives and mothers. My husband is not a believer, but when I have been striving to be submissive and a Godly wife, and I know it is the way!
I don't know what to do about intimacy right now though, it keeps me up at night it's so heavy on my heart. My husband doesn't think there is anything wrong with pornography or even having an affair. He is honest with me and tells me he wants to experience sex with another woman. It hurts me deeply. We have a good sex life. He likes me to initiate, and I do, every day. I don't know what else I can do to keep him satisfied so he doesn't want to wander. He knows his desires hurt me, but I don't want to argue with him about it because I think it would be worse if he felt like he had a contentious, nagging wife. What do I do? Every day, I'm afraid he's going to come home and tell me he has had an affair and I don't know what I should say or do :(

1 reply · active 616 weeks ago

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Kath · 616 weeks ago

I think you are a wise woman, Lori! Keep posting on what you are learning. It helps us younger girls grow if we have someone who has gone before us, teaching us what she has learned along the way. I am glad you are further along than I am in your walk because you inspire me that it IS possible to be a godly, older woman.

1 reply · active 616 weeks ago

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Janie · 616 weeks ago

I never got the impression that you were trying to come across as perfect. Sometimes, people take any advice as the person saying they never do anything wrong, which isn't the case. Please keep doing what you do. You are such a blessing, and God is working through you!

1 reply · active 616 weeks ago

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Susan · 616 weeks ago

I think some people don't want to see the truth. I think there was a time in my life that maybe I would have thought that wasn't possible but that was before I even tried. One day, I realized that it's so simple not really that hard either. I have never looked back and my life has never been better! We have been married 28 years and have had a lot of struggles when I was trying to run the show. Now he asks my opinion on everything and values it much more than when I was handing it out! My husband is a believer but a wayward one at times:) I have realized that I come from a long line of naggers and my goal is to model something different for my young daughter.
I have a friend struggling with her marriage and I have really struggled with how to mentor her and what to even say. I've tried but it mainly falls on deaf ears.

1 reply · active 616 weeks ago

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Kimberly in NC · 616 weeks ago

Oh Jane, my heart breaks for you! You sound like you are doing everything right (as God would have you to). Please know I am praying for you and your husband! (The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian is such a wonderful book for every wife to read. I've given away numerous copies to friends as they've shared their stories of marital strife with me. Please find a copy right away to help you pray through your struggles. If you can't find one, please contact me and I'll buy one to send to you! knchock at yahoo)

Lori, I feel like Cassie does. This poor woman must really be struggling. I have been reading your blog for several months now and I have never felt like you claimed perfection. I have been blessed and encouraged in my own marriage by reading of the ways you have improved as a Christian wife as you have allowed God to lead you in this and all areas. May God continue to bless you and your family. Thank you for writing this blog.

1 reply · active 616 weeks ago

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Yrena · 616 weeks ago

You are not a hypocrite! I have known you personally for 15 years now and you walk the talk. Perhaps you stumbled with your words at times but who doesn't? Keep up the good work!

1 reply · active 616 weeks ago

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Kim · 616 weeks ago

Thank you Lori for your blog. Even though I have been married 29 years, I to have much to learn. Your site blesses me and I share your words often with other women.

1 reply · active 616 weeks ago

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PJB · 616 weeks ago

Lori, I want you to know that you have never struck me as either hypocritical or perfect.

I'm glad your health seems to be improving these days.

1 reply · active 616 weeks ago

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lynne · 616 weeks ago

beautiful picture of you and your man :-). keep doing what you're doing. you are a blessing to many who read your words of wisdom! God Bless you. Lynne

1 reply · active 616 weeks ago

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Felicia · 616 weeks ago

You go girl!

1 reply · active 616 weeks ago

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Tiffany · 616 weeks ago

Ditto some of the previous comments - I have never thought you were trying to appear perfect. In fact, I think you have been very blunt and honest on your blog and I have appreciated that. Your blog really has changed my mindset on some issues. Beautiful picture, by the way. I hope you are feeling better each day!

1 reply · active 616 weeks ago

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mrsrooster 16p · 616 weeks ago

I have been married nearly 16 years. Your blog is a constant help to me. I have never felt you are a hypocrite or arrogant. Keep doing what you are doing. You are truly a blessing.

Our marriage is an unequally yoked marriage. He isn't an unbeliever, but doesn't go to church or pray. He believes in God and believes that Jesus died for his sins. Sometimes, it causes arguments and strife. I am working on letting him lead. I pray for him and us daily.

4 replies · active 616 weeks ago

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Kay · 616 weeks ago

I don't know you personally, but I can say from experience that by the grace of God alone, my husband and I never argue either. We never have in 12 years of marriage, nor do we slam doors, leave for hours, etc. We work things out quickly. Like I say - only by the grace and power of God. I wish this kind of marriage wasn't so rare...I believe this is how Christian marriage is supposed to be, not the exception.

1 reply · active 616 weeks ago

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Jennifer Dunn · 616 weeks ago

Thank you so much for your encouragement and steadfastness! It's so wonderful to have someone....although un-perfect....striving for godliness and encouraging other women to do the same! God Bless!

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Nanasknoll · 616 weeks ago

Interesting-when I had been married a few months I found that arguing was not productive. I can not say I did not get angry-but over the years I learned to trust the Lord and ask the Lord for wisdom in our relationship, also in parenting, etc. He always gave me the answer. We have been married for 43 years. We are both Christians and that sure is a key to start with.
I believe you have been giving spiritual advice to women.
Nana

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Lauren · 616 weeks ago

I heard a phrase one time that said, "The truth is hateful, to those who hate the truth." I believe when we don't desire what God desires we will not like it when we hear corrective words. This has been true in my own life at times. I am a young woman of 22 years and my husband and I are celebrating our 1 year anniversary today. We have struggled a lot in our first year of marriage, despite my thinking I was pretty prepared. My husband and I are both Christians but we have both struggled in different sin areas. Mine were/are insecurity, doubt, and anger. It is amazing how marriage can show your true colors! Before we got married I was greatly involved in ministry and well though of by my church leaders and christian friends. I thought I had it all together, but boy was I wrong! I didn't realize how selfish and prideful I really was! I held so much bitterness at my hubby for things he had done before and even after we got married. Even though he did sin against me, like lying about his pornography addiction, I realized I was only making things worse by feeling deprived and let down. Im not saying you act like it is okay for your husband to indulge in pornography while turning you down sexually, however when we dwell on what we feel we deserve we destroy our minds and harden our hearts! I was robbing myself of my joy in Christ! So, my husband messed up, but so do I! Maybe not in the same manner, but all sin is a spit in the face to our Holy Father saying your not good enough, I want better. Obviously, we know God is the best thing for us! Nothing else compares to following our Lord and being obedient to His Word. I have sincerely enjoyed having your mini lessons to read since I found your blog several months ago! They have been an

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