Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Couples Choosing Childlessness


One in five women are choosing to be childless compared to years ago which was one in ten, according to CBS Sunday Morning show.  The "expert" on the show said it cost a million dollars to raise a child now and who wants to spend all that money to have that child grow up and tell you he hates you when he turns fifteen.

He also said that America is below the replacement rate which means we will turn into Florida.  There will be a ton of old people living on government assistance without enough young people to support them.  He also said that raising children isn't that fun.  There are a lot of not so fun times.

Tell me.  What job is always fun???  Even when you vacation in Hawaii, it is not always fun.  Sure, raising children takes a lot of hard work but there are also many rewards.

One does not have to spend a million dollars to raise a child.  There are many frugal ways instead.  You can buy almost everything used today at garage sales.  You can make your baby food from scratch.  You can use cloth diapers.  You can homeschool them.  There are many ways to save money.

Not one of my children ever told me they hated me.  You can't always determine how children will turn out but you can do the best you know how to raise disciplined, hard-working, and honest children.  Yes, it takes hard work but there was nothing else I wanted to do more.

We have been hearing so long that the world is overpopulated but now we are hearing couples aren't having enough children to sustain societies.  This is why we must never listen to the lies of society but always listen to God instead.

He calls children a gift and a blessing.  He commands for us to be fruitful and multiply.  He wants us to have children if possible.  

And God blessed them, and God said unto them, 
Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.
Genesis 1:28

Comments (29)

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Are you saying if a married woman does not want children is sinful? Just wondering your thoughts, I'm not married but I also never had the desire to have children even if I did find the right person.
3 replies · active 612 weeks ago
What's sad is when Christians refuse His blessing of children. He says they are a blessing. Why would we blatantly say NO to His blessing? The million dollar thing is obviously an attempt to scare people away from having kids... My parent had 9 kids. There's no way they made over 9 million dollars in their lifetime. ;)
1 reply · active 613 weeks ago
Even with sending my kids to a private Christian school, there is no way it takes anywhere close to a million. I'd love to see how they figured that. I'm sure they added things like your house, car, etc... Similar to how the bridal mags say that wedding costs X amount, then when you see how it's figured, they added an entire exotic honeymoon, the costs to fly in and room and board for a ton of guests, etc...
1 reply · active 613 weeks ago
I'm a Christian and I have decided not to have children with my current husband. Mostly because after marrying him I found out that he isn't much more than a child himself emotionally. I blame his parents and the fact that he was homeschooled and not taught how to handle people disagreeing with him. He isn't emotionally stable enough to handle being married in my opinion. Much less raise a child. Not to mention that I, myself am not healthy enough at this time to bear a child. That is if my medical problems would even allow me to conceive.

Not to mention there are far too many women who have kids because they think they want them and after they're through the cut part don't take care of them. Some people honestly shouldn't have kids. I love the saying, "Just because you can doesn't mean you should."
5 replies · active 587 weeks ago
I have four children and even though one of them has been a source of major pain and heartache, I would not take back having any of them. I would have had more if possible. Love them all. It has been worth it!
1 reply · active 613 weeks ago
Lori

What a beautiful post! My daughters arr being trained to be wives and mothers. I am not even sure the school district knows they exist. I am not sure yet how we will handle my son... probably fly him under the radar too but homeschool hom.

Thanks for being an encouragement!
1 reply · active 613 weeks ago
Cynthia Swenson's avatar

Cynthia Swenson · 613 weeks ago

This is very encouraging Lori. I would remind us of Jesus saying "Where your treasure is, there will be your heart also." I'm thinking love God first & then others. The hard part for me, frankly, is laying down my selfish desires. I'm thankful that His Spirit in us teaches us to love others, but it can take time. Praying for the young women who think they don't want children. Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia
1 reply · active 613 weeks ago
my husband and I did not choose to be childless, we've been trying for 21 years ;-). after trying the 'baby doctor', and reacting negatively to drugs, we realized and accepted God's will for us. I've been pregnant twice, both ended in miscarriage (and both pregnancies within the last 8 years). God knows what He is doing. I've never felt the mothering instinct that so many women feel, and never felt that i'd make a good mother (did not have good role models in both my mom & stepmom). we now have 2 children in heaven, waiting for us...that is a wonderful thought!
1 reply · active 613 weeks ago
Children are a blessing! We had 3 in 4 years and I am so happy we did. We have been trying for #4 for several months now, without success. We are desperate for another because we love being parents SO MUCH. I'm glad we didn't put off having them, because fertility isn't always guaranteed. I will have as many as God would have me be the mother of. I can't say how blessed I feel to be the mother of these sweet children!
3 replies · active 613 weeks ago
Beautiful post. It amazes me when I hear people talking so negatively about having children. We have one daughter (6) and she is the joy of our lives. We would love and welcome more. Yes children cost money, but no way that much, and really...."raising children isn't fun" Yes it is...it is wonderful...are there not fun moments, yes of course, but raising DD has turned out to be lots of fun. Sigh, what people don't understand....

-Amanda
I believe the bible also talks about how it can be beneficial to not marry so we can better serve the Lord. And one who is not married does not have kids. I am torn by those that emphasize this quote:Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.Genesis 1:28 because everyone is not called to do this. We can not generalize this to all. Because there are other verses as stated above that reference how it is better to be single. I have a hard time with reading blogs about being a mom. I have tried to have kids and God does not have this in store for my life. I am also a middle school teacher and agree with the spokesman that it is a difficult thing to raise kids and have them say they "hate you," at fifteen. It actually happens much earlier- I deal with teens all day long-I know! I encourage this discussion because I seek to bring truth to the entire revelation of God's words not just one scripture... In Him...
Hi Lori. Found your site from Raising Mighty Arrows link up. I am enjoying what I am reading. Keep up the good work. I was one who chose to be childless, along with my husband, until my husband got saved. I went to college and got a Master's Degree. In high school and throughout college, I always knew I wanted a career or children, not both. It never made sense to me to have both. My mom worked while we were growing up and while of course I knew we were loved, it was never like "home" being at a babysitters house for over 40 hours a week. Anyway, of course people encouraged me, most naively and with good intention, to go to college and be different. So, I did.

Now, ironically I truly am different. People look at me like I'm wasting my time, even fellow Christians, when they find out I'm not using my degree. The only time I wasted was 6 years in college (let alone debt I am still paying). I never had ONE role model growing up telling me it's okay to be a wife and a mom. Who am I kidding? It's great to be a wife and a mom and I wouldn't want it any other way. Glad I learned my lesson while I was still within my childbearing years. Expecting #3! Thanks again for your blog!

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