Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Purity Before Marriage


"Ryan and Erin are a breath of fresh air.  We hardly ever get to mentor a couple like them anymore where both were raised in families who loved God and they both have deep roots in Jesus.  Even couples in the church are usually sleeping or living together."

These comments were made to us from a couple at our church who have been giving pre-marital counseling to couples for the past twenty years.  It is a sad statement to me about the condition of the church today.

It is quite clear where the Bible stands on chastity, yet 80% of young unmarried adults aged 18-29 who self-describe as evangelical Christians have had sex. The church seems to be doing a poor job of teaching these verses and instilling a desire to be obedient to God’s Word in single Christians, and single Christians are doing a poor job of maintaining their chastity in obedience to God’s Word. {source}

God gives us commands to protect us. When we disobey His commands, we will suffer the consequences.  Yes, God will cleanse us from our sins but we will have scars.

I had my neck fused a few years ago.  A disc was pushing into my spinal cord causing all kinds of problems.  The disc has been taken out now but I still suffer from some issues from the surgery and the injury.

Sin is the same way.  It can be taken out of your life but you will still suffer scars from your disobedience, especially sexual sins for the Bible says we reap what we sow in our own bodies.  God knows what He is talking about when He commands us to flee sexual immorality.

Jennifer Moses in her article Why Do We Let Them Dress Like That? writes,  "It has to do with how conflicted my own generation of women is about our own past, when many of us behaved in ways that we now regret.  A woman I know, with two mature daughters, said, "If I could do it again, I wouldn't even have slept with my own husband before marriage. Sex is the most powerful thing there is, and our generation, what did we know?"

So here we are, the feminist and post feminist and post pill generation. We somehow survived our own teen and college years {except for those who didn't}, and now, with the exception of some Mormons, evangelicals and Orthodox Jews, scads of us don't know how to teach our own sons and daughters not to give away their bodies so readily. We're embarrassed, and we don't want to be, God forbid, hypocrites.

Still, in my own circle of girlfriends, the desire to push back is strong. I don't know one of them who doesn't have feelings of lingering discomfort regarding her own sexual past. And not one woman I've ever asked about the subject has said that she wishes she'd "experimented" more.

Be bold and teach your children truth.  They aren't animals who have to act upon their instincts but human beings created in the image of God with self-control.  Let the Word of God dwell in them richly and teach it to them often.  As they grow up, continue encouraging them in the ways of God and pray for them daily.  For with God,  ALL things are possible.

Let marriage be held in honor among all,
and let the marriage bed be undefiled,
for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Hebrews 13:4

Comments (9)

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In the seven different Catholic churches I've attended due to our various moves around the country, every one of them has had sermons on abstinence as well as the Life Teen groups with the church. I find the Catholic church to be firm in it's beliefs on this subject. As far as your quote from above, "The church seems to be doing a poor job of teaching these verses," I feel that it comes down to the PARENTS are doing a poor job of teaching these verses. Our oldest daughter is getting married in 11 days and has remained pure. As her mother, I have worked hard throughout her life to teach her God's word in supplement to the church. And yes, with all the pressures of society today, it does take work and perseverance as a parent, but that is my job. Blessings ~Nancy
1 reply · active 615 weeks ago
I actually didn't write those words. They were written by Sunshine Mary. Her blog is http://sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com/. I think she would absolutely agree with you.

I firmly believe it is the parent's responsibility to teach their children to remain pure but it sure helps if you have a biblically based church who is backing you up on this issue. It sounds like your church did a great job but parents are definitely the biggest impact on a child's life. The last paragraph of my post is addressed to parents.
Love this! I feel so blessed to be raised by a Christian mother who taught abstinence not as a rule but as pleasing to God. That was enough convincing to me. I also married someone who was pure, and we waited until our wedding night. We both were only in one prior relationship prior to meeting each other, but it was not a physical one. I've never had my heart broken, and I'm so thankful. We're expecting #4, and the doctor always wants to tests for STD's, and I have so tell them like 10 times I don't want to pay for it and don't need it. They say you never known. Well, I do know, and I'm thankful. I also have to defend why I don't want/need the HPV vaccine. We're not perfect, but I'm thankful we don't have additional baggage from past relationships brought into ours.
I love this post. All Christians should stand for and practice sexual purity. My husband and I (married 34 years) did and I am so grateful that both of my daughters did too. I agree with Brit's comment that it is so good not to have additional baggage (especially of the sexual kind) from previous relationships. Marriage is tough enough and we don't need to make it even harder, which is what sexual immorality does. Thank you for sharing your views. I have not commented a lot on your blog, but plan to visit more often, because we are of a like mind! Thanks again.
What a great post! I am a new from southern charm! I would love for you to check out my blog and hopefully follow me back! Nicole
Great post Lori! So much truth. I am so thankful that my husband kept himself pure in every way for me, because I knew that I was keeping myself pure for my future husband as well. It is a great blessing to our marriage!
I really appreciate this post! I am blessed that my parents did pass on values on purity to my siblings and me. I had my first kiss on my wedding day. I still treasure that. Now we have been married 13 years and have seven children.

I do dislike the phrase "Purity Before Marriage" though. I grew up hearing it and hear it a lot still. I completely understand what people are trying to convey. But, it also implies that sex is impure. It shouldn't be "I will keep pure until I'm married" which is what we hear young people say. Wait! No, purity lasts all your life! In fact, in marriage there is nothing purer than sex.

We should be careful to tell our young people "Stay pure" without any extra caveats. Stay pure before marriage and throughout your marriage. Sex is not the opposite of purity. In its proper place it is a part of purity and holiness.

It's a small semantics detail, I know. But one way keeps people from sex by conveying the impurity of sex and the other elevates sex to it's sacred place, therefore we are discouraged from defiling it.

I hope that makes sense.

Many, many blessings on your message!!!!
Very truthful! Love the post :) I got married 2 years ago and that's the happiest day of my life! Now, I am married to my husband who values and respects me since the very day I met him. The first night after the wedding ceremony was really amazing and I won't forget that. Waiting to keep yourself pure until the right time has come is not easy but it's worth it!!! :)

Visiting you from the Happy Wives Club Link Up.
When people ask me why I think my husband proposed so quickly (5 months after our first date), I tell them two things:

1. He knew from day one I was "the one"; and

2. No sex is definitely a great motivator! :)

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