Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Create a Haven for Your Husband


But for every other mom who thinks that she's perfect, setting the bar the rest of us can't even come close to, there's a certain someone who's anything but impressed... her husband. Because while she's spending sleepless nights frosting cupcakes and sewing costumes, he's feeling neglected and going to bed alone. Which brings me to my question...Do good moms make bad wives?

This was the question asked by Jackie Morgan MacDougall.  It is a very good question to ask.  Many wives put their children way above their husband's needs.  It is so very easy to do.  I did it. There is something about the helplessness and love of our children that makes us value them over our husbands. Also, being extremely busy is almost considered a fruit of the Spirit, it seems these days. It's a quality to brag about.

The ironic thing is if you are a great mom, you aren't necessarily a great wife but if you are a great wife who "reverences" her husband, you are probably an amazing mom! {God's ways are always completely opposite of the world's ways.} The greatest gift you can give your children is a solid, happy marriage.  Children love seeing their parents madly in love with each other.  It makes their little world secure. In fact, I have seen more children raised to be great adults who had parents who greatly loved each other than children who were raised by a mother who gave all of her time and energy to her children while neglecting her husband.

If you have children, carefully monitor your time as I have said many times. You don't have to go to Bible studies and volunteer for all the school programs. Your ministry is FIRST to your husband and then to your children and home.

You can't do everything! Focus on fixing healthy meals, shopping, keeping a tidy home, raising your children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord, and pleasing your husband. Too many women are becoming ill by trying to do too much. Your husband and children are a precious gift! Focus is what you need, NOT distractions!

Learn the value of being at home and attaining a meek and quiet spirit. Make a decision to enjoy cooking, cleaning, gardening and the simple things in life. Read to your children and play with them for they grow up so quickly. Create a haven for your husband and children. Spend time beautifying this place you call home and stay home to enjoy it.

Most importantly, show your children that you love their daddy deeply. Serve him. Reverence him. Allow him to be the head and the leader of the home. Model to them what a Christ-centered marriage looks like. Let peace permeate your home and be joyful. You have a huge influence on your husband's ability to relax and enjoy his time at home. 

Taking God at His Word and pursuing a home-centered path results in greater peace and contentment than you may have ever known, both for you and our family. It is the abundant life that God ordained for women!

...and the wife see that she 
reverence {a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe} 
her husband.
Ephesians 5:33

Comments (15)

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This is very very true and we have reaped fruit in our home where because I put my kids first and my pursuits that we were on a very destructive path. I praise God that He has brought discipline and correction in our home and we are on the way to a much healthier home life.
2 replies · active 530 weeks ago
Most women are on a destructive path, unfortunately, unless they truly understand what God expects of wives and mother or an older, godly woman teaches them. It certainly is not taught in society or even in most churches {sadly} today. Thankfully, it's rarely too late to turn the ship around if your children are still relatively young and you're still married to your husband.
It's never too late. I've been going to church ALL my life and this has never been taught to me... so sad. I've been utilized for my gifts in church but unfortunately most churches choose to use women and wives in the same capacity as the men- there is a major difference! This message is so important!! God has been faithful and my husband has been patient with me! It has taken me over a decade to figure it out but the Lord has redeemed the time. I'm grateful for His truth and Lori you have been a blessing. When it's time, I am eager to share my journey with other women that have focused most of their lives on growing in a career and not focusing on their husband, family and home. God is amazing and and I thank Him for His grace. He is a Redeemer!!
So very true! Thanks for the reminder. As I'm full swing into the Grandmomma era of life, I have to even more fully grasp this concept. It's so easy to become even more busy than when our children were all in our home, now that we run on adult children's schedules! I will surely ponder this post!
1 reply · active 531 weeks ago
Yes, our society is always pulling us this way and that, trying to keep us too busy for important things like playing with the grandbabies, spending time in His Word and listening to the still, small voice of the Lord, helping those in need around us, teaching young women, etc.
This is a wonderful post. Thank you for the reminder.
1 reply · active 531 weeks ago
You're welcome, Rachel!
I needed to read this tonight.
Dear Lori, This is a truth that so many ladies miss on the Homefront! Our children need to see just what you wrote about! I have always felt this way so I knew that my children would grow up and leave home. And I still wanted a happy, blessed marriage.
We are still learning to love and keep the love alive!
God, Husband, then children!
Blessings, Roxy
I needed to read this today. I have not been honoring my husband as god tells me to do and I have been thinking more about our kids. Without god and my husband as our light we will not walk the path of rightousness. It isn't easy but I am trying. You always seem to write exactly what I need to hear every day Lori! This blog is helping save my marriage!
We do not have children yet, still I know this is true.
Thank you for this much needed word for today.
We are losing a generation, perhaps for this very reason.

visiting from Spiritual Sunday
After being happily married in almos 25 years, I must say that I must be doing t right too:)
Dropping by from Spiritual Sundays and my entry is: Are you carrying a heavy load?
This is my 3rd time reading this post ! Very insightful , thanks Lori.
Your post is wonderful! I will be featuring your post in this week's A Return to LOVELINESS,
Kathy

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