Always Learning: Does Your Husband Snore?

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Does Your Husband Snore?

Many women complain about their husband snoring. Ken's snoring will wake me up sometimes and believe me, falling asleep has never come easy for me. He always reminds me to just tap him and he will roll over but I hate to wake him up. He works so hard and needs his sleep so much more than I do.

Elizabeth Elliott, who lost several husbands to death, said a profound thing, "Snoring is the sweetest music in the world. Ask any widow. If only there were some way for every wife to have the experience of losing her husband for a little time, even of thinking that he's dead , in order to regain the perspective she needs for genuine appreciation."

Perspective is everything, isn't it? You use to think his snoring was so annoying. You'd sometimes even get mad at him. It always irritated you until you read that comment by Elizabeth. Now, you're happy your husband is alive to snore. You're happy you have a man to go to bed and sleep with every night. You suddenly appreciate his snoring! Wow!

This is what a little bit of encouragement can do. Instead of looking at the bad side of things and complaining about everything, we need to being looking at the good side of things and becoming women of gratitude, thankful women.

This is why God commands that we dwell on the lovely and the good. It changes our attitude about everything. If we dwell on the news, we are going to think life is terrible and that society is going to hell in a handbasket. However, if we dwell on all the good things about our husbands, our wonderful children, our good friends and neighbors, our cozy homes, running water and good food, we will think life is pretty wonderful!

Therefore, stop complaining and see the good in things around you. Don't worry about the things you have no control over. If your husband snores, get ear plugs and put a pillow over your head like I do! Appreciate all the good things you have in life and be thankful.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

Philippians 4:8

Comments (18)

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Ksdee · 532 weeks ago

Amen! Too many times, who we have in our lives can be easily taken for granted in the day-to-day. Snoring can be heard as very dear music, and to gaze upon a husband who is resting so peacefully draws the tender emotions from a wife's heart of God-planted love.

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Desiree · 532 weeks ago

I have suffered with insomnia for nearly 11 years. I had never fallen asleep quickly but I went three whole days and nights, 72 hours without a second of sleep. After two years of struggling to sleep my husband finally moved to the spare room. Ear plugs worked for a time...until years of swimming and ear infections caught up with me. I have regretted that move ever since. And I do, almost on a daily basis, think that if something were to happen to him I would beg for his snoring again! I don't think that sleeping in seperate rooms when both partners are in agreement that it is the best thing is a sin. But I do know that we both would love to be able to sleep together again. I do pray about it. I guess I am scared. I have a 5 year old who I homeschool and have to be alert and in a decent mood for each day. Thank you once again Lori for giving me more food for thought. Your blog keeps me thinking and praying and looking for change in myself!
oh....and as a little side note. About two weeks ago I even said to my husband that Liam needs to see his parents in the same bed. Proof that it is on my heart.

2 replies · active 532 weeks ago

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Ksdee · 532 weeks ago

Desiree, have you tried any of the headphones that play gentle sounds for sleeping. Also, possibly a medical exam to find out what may be causing insomnia for you and then what you may be able to do to help it.

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Katie · 532 weeks ago

I said a quick prayer for you Desiree! Hoping you and your husband find a solution soon so that you can sleep together again. My sister and brother-in-law have had separate beds for years because he has such a problem with restless legs at night that he will kick hard and she ends up with bruises, but he prefers not to see a doctor or look for solutions. I realize thay is a different scenario than snoring, but their youngest son has never seen them share a room. Situations like that are kind of sad :-(

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Blessed · 532 weeks ago

Thank you for the reminder. I needed it today. Yes, I am blessed! Thank you, Lori.

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Karen · 532 weeks ago

I too struggle with a snoring husband. It usually only bothers me if I am falling asleep. That picture was exactly what I looked like a few nights this past week. I had surgery and sleep was all I wanted and needed, but hubby's snoring left me with some sleepless nights and a very cranky attitude........ :-( I love what Elisabeth said ~ I will keep that in mind when I am tempted to be angry from a sleepless night.

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mamabrightowl 1p · 532 weeks ago

I could not sleep through my husband's snoring at all, and I DO need my sleep as much as he does. My days are busy and full and I cannot function without proper sleep. I finally talked him into going to a sleep center to be evaluated, and he was diagnosed with sleep apnea. He started sleeping with a sleep machine 5 years ago. The first few sleep machines did not fit well, and he kept taking them back until he got a brand that fit well and is smooth and quiet. I also sleep with a fan on, which helps block any little bit of noise. Now we both get a good night's sleep every night! Not only that, but my husband feels much better. He was always tired before because he wasn't getting proper rest either! Snoring is a sign of a medical issue, so wives should encourage their snoring husbands to get evaluated.

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Cindy · 532 weeks ago

For snoring rub a few drops of thyme essential oil onto the bottoms of your feet at night before bed.

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Crystal · 532 weeks ago

I heard all the stories from my husbands childhood. His older brother whom he shared a room with would flick pennies at him to try to get him roll over and stop snoring, otherwise he would fall into the same breathing pattern and nearly hyperventilate. My husband was always in trouble with is mom because he couldn't get up on time and get his morning things done. To this day there is still issues between them. Of course, she wouldn't get out of bed herself to help him.

So after years of listening to him snore, we finally had enough and we got him evaluated. The doctor informed us that he must stop breathing 5 times an hour. I thought there is no way, he isn't that bad. WRONG! My husband stops breathing at least 50 times every hour! Boy do I feel like a terrible wife for having gone so long ignoring his snoring.

It's been almost a year now that he's been sleeping with the c-pap machine. Although he does not like being tied to a machine (or change for that matter) and he'll rarely admit that he IS actually getting better sleep - we can all see the difference in him. He's not nearly as crabby in the morning anymore! Not to mention the overall health benefits of a good nights sleep! Thank you, Jesus!

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Jo · 532 weeks ago

My husband is a snorer but this is only a problem when I am trying to get to sleep. I usually push his pillow and that makes him move enough to stop snoring (even temporarily so I can get to sleep) and it doesn’t wake him up. However my husband will get up 4-6 times a night and eat or drink in the kitchen (something he has been doing for many years). As a result he often wakes me up with the light from the kitchen or when he returns to bed and turned on the lights.

He also went through a long stage of waking up in the middle of the night and going on his smart phone. The light from a smart phone is very bright in a dark room and this would wake me up.

I have mentioned a few times how his night activities cause me to have broken sleep and makes me very tired in the morning but things don’t change. If it isn’t a problem for him he keeps on doing it. However the phone usage at night has stopped as he was getting a very sore neck and arms and they improved when he stopped using his phone during the night. I find it is better to not say anything as it makes him cross. It’s just one of those things I have learnt to live with.

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Victoria · 532 weeks ago

This is so cool. I was having problems with my husband and I was getting upset, not really mad but upset, then I thought about how some widows, like my grandmother must have felt, and how people might even miss their husbands snore. I know it was God giving me wisdom. I also started helping my husband by making healthier meals and encouraging him in the gym. As he started to lose weight his snoring improved within the first week and he was happier and sleeping better:)!

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retirednavywife 39p · 532 weeks ago

I've never, ever spent one night in a different bed in all the years we've been married (except for hospital stays). We have shared a bed through four orthopedic surgeries (two for me, two for him), another major surgery for him, snoring, whatever. We sleep in the same bed even after an argument.

There's no way I would (nor he would) voluntarily sleep elsewhere than in our bed.

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Mrs. Gryce · 532 weeks ago

My hubby is a snorer too. I turn on a fan on my side of the bed to provide some white noise to offset the sound of the snoring.

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Susan · 532 weeks ago

Yes! I am a believer in white noise and ear plugs! I have worn the purple ones for years!

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Amy · 532 weeks ago

This brings up a few thoughts for me.
1. I did almost lose my husband. When he was in the hospital, I did miss his presence and, yes, even his snoring. It is true that perspective makes a world of difference in how we react to our situations. Going through a near death experience with my husband has strengthened our marriage like nothing else could.
2. As others have mentioned, snoring can indicate a health problem, such as sleep apnea. Chronic snorers really should have a sleep study done. Sleep apnea can contribute to all kinds of other health issues.
3. My husband also tells me to nudge him if he's snoring so that he will roll over. It doesn't really wake him up, and he would feel terrible if he knew that his snoring was keeping me awake. Because I need sleep and I don't want my husband to feel bad, I nudge him, he rolls over, and we both get our needed rest.

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rhiamom 44p · 532 weeks ago

I agree with Mamabrightowl. Snoring that is severe enough to prevent one's spouse from sleeping is snoring that needs to be medically investigated. Maybe it is not sleep apnea, but a deviated septum, or some other defect easily fixed surgically.

My grandmother snored loudly enough to rattle the windows, and Grandpa was somehow able to sleep with that racket!

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momsmanylessons 2p · 531 weeks ago

Perspective is everything. Elizabeth Elliott's comment offers that to us. We will miss our husbands when they are gone, but we mustn't forget that we each are to be concerned for the other's health and well-being.
As a wife, I'm to help my husband get a good night's sleep. Sleep apnea is a huge problem and can cause disease, brain issues, and early death. A good wife will listen for patterns that may indicate sleep apnea.
And a good husband will be concerned for his wife's sleep as well as his own. She has a whole household to manage and children to train up and educate.
Communication is key when it this causes a problem for either spouse. Love each other enough to talk about this problem and work out a solution that benefits both.

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Betsy · 531 weeks ago

I almost had to laugh when I saw the title to your post, Lori- my husband has been snoring lately and it's truly been on my mind a lot!! Thank you for the encouragement and the perspective shift! And the practical advice about earplugs :)

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