Men Can't Control Their Urges and Other Such Lies

There was another letter written to Anna Duggar by a woman from reddit and she advised Anna to do completely opposite of what I encouraged her to do. Here is one paragraph this woman wrote, along with one of her responses to a comment praising her for writing this letter.

I know you were raised to believe that men simply can’t control their urges and thus it is your duty as a wife to always be sexually available to him {a philosophy insulting to both sexes}, a perfect “helpmeet” wife who is submissive to all his needs {a philosophy insulting to marriage and relationships}, and a perfect mother.

I just felt really bad for Anna, in their culture she'll get blamed for not being a perfect wife and mother and "letting him stray". She is completely sheltered and trapped because of their cult and is so lost right now.

This is how the world distorts biblical doctrine and even calls those who believe in it part of a cult. What solid Bible believing group teaches women that men “simply can’t control their urges?” None that I know of and of course they can! Men are made in God’s image with the ability to control themselves, unlike animals who cannot. Men who are filled with God's Spirit have a much greater capacity to control their urges since a fruit of the Spirit is self-control. Also, the duty of a wife being sexually available to her husband applies both ways according to Scripture. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband {1 Corinthians 7:3}.

Do you notice that this woman slips in the words “always” and “perfect” to try to make her point? The Bible never uses these words in connection with commands to us for He knows we are fallen and unable to do everything always and perfectly. The only One who fits these words is God. He is always perfect! This woman uses these words to discredit God’s Word. God also gave us common sense and reason. When a women or man is ill, injured or other such circumstance, He knows we would use common sense to not have to give the other spouse sex. However, the whole of our relationship to our spouse should be one of fulfilling their needs sexually; husband and wife to the other.

Likewise, no wife will be a “perfect” help meet who is submissive to ALL her husband's needs. No woman is perfect and yes, a wife should meet most of her husband’s needs and should willingly and joyfully serve and please him but a wife will fail him at times and most husbands give allowances for this. The whole of a wife's life, however, should be one of being a help meet to her husband and meeting his needs for sexual intimacy, bearing and raising his children if they are blessed with them and being a homemaker, while he meets her needs of being a protector and provider. This writer twists God’s commands to make them ugly, when His divinely appointed roles for husbands and wives are beautiful! These words should sum up a godly wife's life towards her husband; She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life {Proverbs 31:12}.

I have not heard one person blame Anna for not being a perfect wife and mother and letting her husband stray, have you? I'm not sure what crowd this woman has heard this from but it is not any crowd I know. She's making it up to discredit godly teaching. Many times women who say these types of comments have come from cults; those who twist God's Words to say things that are untrue and become man-made rules. They are usually women who have been deeply hurt by these cults and therefore, turn completely away from God and His Word.

"What happened to Anna and what happens to many women reminds us to hold everything in this world loosely. Nothing in this life offers us true security. Not our husbands, not our children, not our church affiliations, not our dress codes...What is under your feet right now, moms? Is it the shifting sand of dependency on people and your own good choices? Or is it Christ, the Everlasting Rock? He is strong enough for Anna and He is strong enough for us" {Sara Wallace}.

God's Word and His ways can never be improved upon. Godly women and men are vow keepers who keep their commitments through good times and bad times, sickness and health, riches or poverty. They know that life isn't about their happiness but about glorifying God for when they are living their lives for the Lord, this is when they will find true joy. They live by His Word with the help of His Spirit who lives within them and not by their feelings or what they think is right, since they don't want to do anything that blasphemes His Word. Instead, their goal is to adorn the Lord with their lives.

Showing all good faith so that they will 

adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in every respect.

Titus 2:10