Always Learning: Because You Love Him

Monday, January 30, 2012

Because You Love Him

A challenge came to me...It is to be entitled Imagine The Impossibilities. A bunch of women are taking the challenge to do something they think is impossible. I was encouraged to write about loving our husbands.

I Corinthians 13 gives the best definition of what loving your husband looks like ~

Love is patient ~ Are you patient with your husband and allowing God to work in his life instead of nagging, manipulating, and controlling him?

Love is kind ~ Are you kind to your husband and treating him better than you treat others?

Love is not jealous ~ Are you jealous of your husband, maybe when he goes golfing with the guys while you are stuck at home? Or do you encourage him and are happy for him when he gets to have fun and do something he enjoys?

Love does not brag and is not arrogant ~ Do you respect your husband's ideas and plans? Do you share your ideas with him in a humble way?

Love does not act unbecomingly ~ Do you put on your best behavior for your husband? This means no pouting, yelling, or silent treatment to get your way.

Loves does not seek its own ~ Do you want your husband's best? Do you seek to please him and make him happy?

Love does not provoke ~ Do you act gently with your husband? Do you allow him his opinions and support them, even if you disagree with them? Do you honor him?

Love does not take into account a wrong suffered ~ Do you hold onto grudges or do you forgive quickly and easily as Christ forgave you?

Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth!

Love bears all things ~ All those habits that you don't like of his and that annoy you, you bear them, because you love him. You put up with his in-laws, friends, and the toilet seat up, because you love him.

Love believes all things ~ You believe the best about him. You know he has faults, but you choose to dwell on his good qualities, because you know everyone has faults and because you love him.

Love hopes all things ~ You hope for the best in him. You praise him even when he isn't worthy of praise, because you love him.

Love endures all things ~ You stay married to him until death do you part. You keep your vows through the good times and the bad, because you love him.

Love never fails ~ Even when you don't "feel" like you love him, you love him because you base your love on a decision and a commitment, not on a feeling.

You love him, because he is your husband and you are commanded by Almighty God to love him. He is a gift from God to you. You want to please and obey your Maker and you know His ways are good.

Comments (46)

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Kenya Johnson · 686 weeks ago

Wonderful post! I need to work on that Love bears all things part ;-)

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Michelle · 686 weeks ago

Wow, what a convicting post. I really need to be a better wife to my husband. Thank you for this reminder.

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Trying2Bbetter · 686 weeks ago

You are such a blessing to me in a very dark place. As a woman of faith who is struggling in her marriage and hears at every turn to just give up, I am thankful for you. Your blog showed up in my google feed spontaneously and no matter how many times I clicked on "mark all as read" it wouldn't go away. Haha! The holy spirit was obviously at work and I am so thankful. I just wish I knew how to manage all the issues in our marriage better. I kinda wish you were my mom, good advice without provoking me to anger. My grandma gave me the best advice when it came to my marriage, she was married for nearly 80 years when she passed away. I miss her so much. Thank you for being a Godly example of a wife.

1 reply · active 686 weeks ago

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Deborah · 686 weeks ago

I try so hard to do the things you have mentioned in this post. I have been so much better since reading your blog. I fail sometimes. I am only human, but I want to thank you, once again for lighting the way.
You are a blessing, Lori!!
Hugs, Deborah

1 reply · active 686 weeks ago

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Ken · 686 weeks ago

Great post babes!
And your life is proof of all of those things. You truly do the impossible and love a guy like me and make my life a dream! Thanks for letting God do the impossible in and through you. You have a terrific ministry to many who are learning to show true love to the one they say they love the most in this whole world. With God ... all things are not only possible, but promised, for those who are willing to do things God's ways.

1 reply · active 686 weeks ago

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Erin · 686 weeks ago

Great post! Its nice to have a little reality check every now and then ;) I have a few things to work on!

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Susan · 686 weeks ago

Oh how neat!! Great shot and I love that scripture. What a foundation for your marriage.

Hope you have a great day!

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Piper · 686 weeks ago

I LOVE this... I need to print and post on my mirror, on my walls, at my office!! Love , Love is kind ~ Are you kind to your husband and treating him better than you treat others? We tell our children when they are not being nice to each other that they treat strangers better than their own flesh & blood. Hmm, made me think, do I treat strangers better than my husband?? Unfortunately, the answer to that is sometimes..... :(
God has been working on my controlling issues and I want to be the wife that God intends for me to be. Love that I hopped over from The Cottage Market - Imagine the Impossibilities. Thanks for posting this!!!

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Kelly · 686 weeks ago

Love my hubs! Is it impossible at times (pleading the 5th)! A great reminder for us all! Glad you joined our Impossible Challenge!
Kelly

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Sue · 686 weeks ago

Dearest Lori,

Only God knows the abundant good you are doing through this blog. I thank you so much and I thank God as well for raising up a woman who takes His command seriously to teach the younger women, (although, I am sure you are also helping many older women). May God richly bless this blog and use it for His honor and glory.

Sue

1 reply · active 686 weeks ago

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Dormouse · 686 weeks ago

A thought provoking post. Thank you for the timely reminder. God bless.

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Linda · 686 weeks ago

Lori,

I'm so glad that you hooked up this post to our challenge! I fell 'in love' with it when you first wrote about how to love our husbands. It's so true and I'm proud and honored to say that I follow each and every piece of your advice. Perhaps that's why my husband and I continue to build on an incredibly strong foundation of mutual love -- and respect!

Linda

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momto8blog · 686 weeks ago

thank you for this post. I am going to be nice to my husband tonight!!!

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Rachel · 686 weeks ago

I don't see why people feel the need to always bring up the abuse issue. Clearly, if someone is in, or thinks they are in, an abusive relationship they need to deal with it differently.
BUT.....most marriages aren't abusive, even if they aren't happy. And this is good advice for the vast majority of married people.

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karahb 44p · 686 weeks ago

Oh My Word! I am in LOVE with this. Every single sentiment! I love your thoughts on "love is not provoking"and love is a commitment and decision and not always a feeling. I come from a family or divorcees, parents, aunts, uncles, all of my older cousins and even my older brother...these words ring so true to me...I am better for having read this!!
Thanks so much for joining the challenge!
Karah @ thespacebetweenblog

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Ronda · 686 weeks ago

So much to work on all of the time~~Love is a commitment, one that is ongoing, ever moving forward, and often difficult! Thank you so very much for every Always Learning~~I so look forward to each day's new session~~such a blessing and a challenge to put into practice all that is shared~~Thank you again for allowing the Lord to use you to encourage all of us on the old paths!

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Jamie · 686 weeks ago

Awesome advice...it's a little painful to read because I'm ashamed of some of my behaviors :( But it surely gives me reason to change and to do better. Thanks for the reminders!

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RHome410 71p · 686 weeks ago

I love this post and the focus of your blog! I am definitely following. I have been blessed by God with my 27 yr marriage, and our 8 kids, plus the 2 sons-in-law we gained this summer. I feel like I've been on a more-intense-than-before spiritual journey lately, and your blog may just be an added help. :)

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Ken · 686 weeks ago

Dear Chachi,
Lori forwarded to me your comments that chastised her blog today, and demanded she post words warning women about abusive men.

It sounds like you have experience with men that Lori does not, and that you have a bias against a godly women being taught what it looks like to love her husband ... because some men are bad people.

It may surprise you to learn that there is a whole world out there where both husbands and wives are flawed and selfish, but they are far from abusive and they do not put their spouses into graves. In the vast majority of marriages 98%+? the men are no where near the jerks you refer to.

Context... it is vital in interpreting the Bible and any book correctly, and vital in understanding that Lori's blog is primarily intended for Christian women who desire to learn how to have a great marriage and great relationships. Perhaps someone should post a blog on dealing with abusive husbands, and I am sure that it is out there, but for you to go around and malign all the blogs that talk to women about how to love their husbands is not fair. Not every blog and every post can or should be dedicated to the small percentage of abusive husbands.

If your experience is primarily with abuse from a man, you are in the wrong neighborhood, or the wrong relationships. I hope this was not by your choice and assume you had some abusive situation or family background. If you are choosing men who perpetuate abuse, then please seek help professional, and start going to a good church and building relationships with men who are flawed, but who do want a great relationship with a wife. Be careful, even in churches are found some abusive men... so chose wisely.

So tell me, a wife is married to a good man, but he is not everything that the wife wants him to be and he is flawed. Should Lori's advice to this 98% be about what it looks like to love their man, or should it focus on abusive men and how horrible men are in general?

I hope you can see that Lori should be writing about things she knows about and what the majority of her readers need to hear, not about something with which she has little experience, and something that is unhelpful and perhaps even detrimental to the vast majority of her readers who do not live or walk in your shoes. You can start a blog about abusive husbands, although Google already has 3,630 hits for help on this subject. I would venture to say that because 98%+ of women are not experiencing abuse from their husbands and are not at risk of being killed or maimed by them, that you would have few followers.

If you need help with an abusive husband, please go seek help from a Social Worker, Pastor, Counselor, and even the authorities. But do not expect that Lori's blog is to be the savior of abused women. It is simply not her purpose. Of course you probably have not read enough of her blog to realize that her purpose is from
Titus 2:4: "That they may teach the young women to be wise, to love their husbands, to love their children."

1 reply · active 686 weeks ago

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AMY · 686 weeks ago

Lori writes towards wives and women, but this post applies to the way husbands and wives should treat each other. Always!

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Ken · 686 weeks ago

Your so right Amy! Lori's message is about loving and showing love and husbands are doubly responsible for "loving their wives as Christ loves the church." Of course if you man is not loving you like you want him to, make kind and caring suggestions and love him back anyway. Most men will come around. We are trainable as long as we do not feel that we are being trained :).

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Jenni · 686 weeks ago

Beautiful! Thank you for this encouragement. :)

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Christie · 686 weeks ago

wonderful reminder...thank you so much!

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Renee · 686 weeks ago

How wonderful to read about all that God's love is for us. But what a challenge to think of loving another in that way. Thanks for sharing this! Blessings!

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missionarymomma · 686 weeks ago

Great post!

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