Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Doctors Are More Important Than Mothers?


You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids.  Women will be equal with men when we stop demanding that it be considered equally important to do housework and real work.  They are not equal.  Doing laundry will never be as important as being a doctor or an engineer or building a business.  {Amy Glass

What Amy writes in her article is extreme, however, I believe that a lot of women really believe the lies she promotes.  I don't think most women would be pursuing higher education and careers if they didn't.  I wouldn't hear "I'm not ready to be married and have children, yet.  I need to live a little before that" if many women didn't believe this.

Women, young and old, being wives and mothers is God's highest calling for you.  I could care less what anyone else tells you.  It is spelled out clearly in Scripture.  Nowhere does it tell women to get all the education they can get, find a career that takes them away from home many hours a day, be independent, and make sure they can provide for them self if something happens to their husband.

In fact, higher education and careers do nothing to prepare women for being submissive wives or teach them how to raise godly offspring, the most important job women can have.  Young, unmarried women are exhorted to "careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit" {I Corinthians 7:34}  This doesn't exclude them from getting higher education and a career but they should never believe that this is more valuable than being a wife and mother.  They should not get in a lot of debt or in a career that is difficult to leave if they get married and have children.

Women have asked me what I think about the "Mommy Wars," working moms vs. stay at home moms.  I don't take part in the Mommy Wars.  I simply teach young women to be "keepers at home" as Scripture commands me to do.  I love working moms and stay at home moms, but I know God wants wives submitting to their husbands and mothers at home taking good care of their husbands, children, and homes.  Regardless of what Ms. Glass believes, this has way more eternal consequences than being a doctor, engineer, etc.  

There are plenty of capable, good men that can do those jobs but men cannot replace the powerful role mothers have on society or future generations.  Mothers who raise godly offspring are the exceptional ones in my humble opinion!

Comments (78)

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I am extremely thankful to have a wife who knew growing up that she wanted to be a wife and mother first and foremost. She chose a career (hairdressing) that was easy to get into (no debt at the end for either hairdressing or the small business diploma she has), easy to move (could do it anywhere if she wanted), and could still be of use when raising a family (we get free hair-cuts from the best hairdresser in town). She has never once told me "I wish I could go back to work". It's also a field that doesn't really change over time. Hairdressing doesn't shift too much year to year and small business skills are always an asset.

I'd imagine it's incredibly difficult to start a family when you are still paying off school debt or have to leave a career you know you have to start at the ground floor again if you return, or potentially go back to school because the field has changed too much.
I think most feminists disagree with Amy Glass too (at least this one does!). Having and raising children is the most important job or else there will be no future generation to be healed by the doctors or to drive on the bridges designed by engineers.

I found this rebuttal article interesting, so perhaps you will too: http://thoughtcatalog.com/anonymous/2014/01/i-fee...
What if you're a woman who wants to work, though? I am working to become a teacher, and I have wanted that for a long time. I definitely don't think it's more important than being a mother, but I am 24 and unmarried and I feel that this is where the Lord is leading me. Is that wrong? I want to do it the right way.
2 replies · active 582 weeks ago
Without mother's raising the Drs, lawyers, carpenters, teachers, scientists, etc., there wouldn't be any! I think some people forget that babies can't raise themselves. That is why the Lord brings us into the world as babies and we can not enter the Kingdom of God without being as a baby, being born again. :) God bless the mothers and fathers. Thank you for the great article, because mothers do need so much encouragement.
What would you advise a young mother who's husband wanted a more involved role in childcare? I'm thinking about this in terms of "real men" and "feminization of men" that Ken wrote about last week. Should a wife encourage her husband if he wants to take an active roll in childcare? I know you're not for stay-at-home dads. And I think you're also against moms and dads sharing the provider and childcare roles equally, because that might mean mom working part time outside the home. So I'm wondering how much father involvement in childcare too much?

What are your thoughts about this article: http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_... (Is paternity leave a good thing? Should fathers embrace the drop in testosterone they get when their babies are born, or fight it? Is the quote by the AT&T guy at the end a sign of the feminization of men?)

P.S. I think Ms. Glass is deluded ;)
22 replies · active 582 weeks ago
I have a law degree and worked as an attorney for 5 years before I quit to be a stay at home mom. My husband and I have said that we wish we would have started dating a lot sooner so that I wouldn't have gone to law school. I was single when I started and really didn't know what else to do. I always knew that my deepest desire was to be a wife and mother, but nothing was on the horizon when I applied and then started. I do have quite a bit of student loan debt that will take a very long time to pay off since I am not working, but that never has given me a moment's doubt. I never had any problems quitting. It was an easy decision. People might think that I am itching to go back to work or that I feel like my degree is wasted. Nope! If I never work again outside of the home, I am more than okay with that. Also, I don't feel like I have wasted my degree. It was a part of a chapter in my life that is now over. I have moved on to bigger and better things. Being an attorney pales in comparison to being a mom (and wife). I feel like my life has purpose now - something I never felt when practicing law.
1 reply · active 582 weeks ago
TRUTH. Thank you Lori! That first paragraph literally made me nauseous. It is sickening to me that someone could be so small minded. I love this quote by C.S. Lewis: "Homemaking is surely in reality the most important work in the world. What do ships, railways, mines, cars, government, etc. exist for except that people may be fed, warmed, and safe in their own homes? ... The homemaker's job is one for which all others exist."
I read her article and laughed because she talks about her desire to see women be on equal footing with men and in the very next part makes a big deal about how women get bridal showers and baby showers when we should instead throw women parties for backpacking across Asia or getting a promotion at work. All I could think was "No man ever complained about not getting thrown a party!!" It is such a lame FEMALE-type thing to complain about. "I want someone to throw ME a PARTY!" I swear I think that is the whole gist of the article. She's mad because she wants a party. And she doesn't have a husband and she doesn't have kids so no one is going to throw her a party.
1 reply · active 582 weeks ago
I will say that being a stay at home wife is not socially acceptable. It's seen as a bit lazy. It's ok to be at home when you have young children, but once all the kids are in school all the talk is about going back to work. So you are right that the work of taking care of the home is not held very highly because people wonder if you're really DOING anything.
It's funny that everyone would love a nice fresh home and nutritious meals and folded laundry, but people forget that you need time to do all of that.
1 reply · active 582 weeks ago
I disagree with the Amy Glass post but I do think that we need to be teaching our girls that education for them is important. You said that the bible never says women should get an education in case something ever happens to their husband. That's true, it never says that. But it is a fact that some women will never get married or their husbands will die or become disabled and be unable to care for the family. I don't think we can place expectations on the future--expecting to get married when you might not. Expecting your husband to work until retirement--he might not be able to. Expecting that your husband will outlive you--he might die young.Women do need to be able to care for themselves or their families in such an event. Education for this is critical. A woman can't care for children on ten dollars an hour working retail or foods. She needs a skill--whatever that might be--to be able to make money. And I think if women want to pursue the careers that require more education there is nothing wrong with that. A woman who wants to stay at home will choose to do so despite whatever career she has. And the debt? That may be a burden, but if she and her husband agree that it is worthwhile to take on, or she marries and her husband knows about it, I see no reason to dissuade a girl or woman from seeking to be a doctor or lawyer or any other highly educated profession.

Ultimately the more education the parents have, the greater the benefit to the children as well. I truly believe that education is never wasted no matter what you do with your life. A mother who is a doctor can treat her children at home and knows when they need to go to the hospital better than one who does not. She will be far better equipped to help her children with science and math homework. A lawyer is better equipped than the average individual to teach her children about critical thinking, reading and writing skills. Education is never wasted on any individual, whoever they might be.

Let's encourage women to get educated, seek to be stay at home mothers, but to have an ability to care for themselves in the event something happens or they never get married.
3 replies · active 582 weeks ago
I just read her article yesterday. It sickened me.
No one told me to consider staying home when I went off to college at age 19, graduated 6 years later with $40,000 in debt. EVERYONE was beyond proud of me, and I was proud of myself. I would give anything to get those years back and that money back but since I can't do that, I just try to share my testimony with others so they may know the truth.

Even if I wasn't blessed with a husband and children, I would not have gone to college if I knew then what I know now. I can think of quite a few reasons actually and things to do instead.

Being a mom is more important than a doctor and I love the comment above who said the moms raise the doctors. Amen.
1 reply · active 582 weeks ago
I have to wonder if the "Amy Glass" article is a poe and/or troll? I did a quick google search, and for someone who claims that she's all about bigger and better accomplishments, there's no digital footprint other than this article.

In plain English - I don't think this person really exists. I think it was an article written by someone for fun, or to make fun of what they think a radical feminist might say, or simply to see if they could get something to go viral by being completely obnoxious.
5 replies · active 582 weeks ago
There are many reasons.
1. The cost. $40,000 was the cost for my 6 year education, off campus housing, 9 years ago. That same education would be much higher today. Add in interest and it will be much higher once I finally get it paid off.
2. I ALWAYS worked while in college (my family raised us all the value work but I did not learn the value of working at home) and could have worked even more and saved $ instead of spending all those hours in class and studying.
3. Of course the liberal indoctrination at my state school. I marched for GLBT rights, attended a planned parenthood meeting (I am so embarrassed but maybe God can use my testimony), and learned the slippery slope of situational ethics.
4. I learned more AFTER I graduated, a lot more, than I ever learned in school. School focused on lots of hypothesis and little actual practical education. I learned more one year in the field (counseling) than I did in 6 years of college. Sad. I had over a 3.5 GPA too so it wasn't like I wasn't studying.
5. I could have been learning practical skills to employ myself if I wanted to make money. Cleaning houses, doing a little babysitting, tutoring, a craft or hobby that makes $ where I could work from home without being in the "workforce" would be ideal. There was a lot of time wasted that could be used more valuably, especially as a Christian. Learning how to do things that require working from home with little work outside would be wonderful.
6. I could have volunteered more. Again, this goes back to time being valuable and I think of how I could have volunteered at church more, been hospitable to all my passions (new moms, widows and teens, etc..)
7. Going into college gives a woman the mindset she is wasting her degree if she doesn't use it. So, if a woman goes to college but later settles down with a husband and maybe children, she will think she wasted her time and will be more likely to stay in her career path. Sound crazy? I've met a few of them.
8. Peer influence. Yikes. I won't share examples of these but even if a woman doesn't spend time with peers after school, she will have to work in many group projects at school. I remember my worst group project with a woman who copied and pasted her entire section of a paper onto the rest of ours that she found from the internet. She could have gotten us all expelled.
9. Finally of course is testimony. I wouldn't want other young women to go to college "just in case" and get into the same mess I did. Will all women get married and have children? No, but that's where faith comes in.
I hope all of this was okay to share Lori. If not, please delete.
Lady Virtue's avatar

Lady Virtue · 582 weeks ago

The argument of "a woman needs something to fall back on" is really code for "you can't trust God to provide for you and take care of you." Also, when a woman is taught from her youth that men might leave, divorce you, can't be trusted to be well-intentioned and honorable, it causes her to be afraid and suspicious of them early on. That inability to trust and be vulnerable may never be recovered, or it could be a very long time in coming. Vulnerability and trust are keys to being a feminine woman.

Unsurprsingly, it becomes something of a self-fulfilling prophecy, in light of the cultural memes, for marriages to break up or never even form in the first place. No woman, if she's truly honest with herself, wants to end up as a spinster or an old maid.
2 replies · active 582 weeks ago
You say the same things over and over again! How many times do you have to post about wives staying at home and being submissive? I'm a submissive wife - I work full time because that's what my husband wants me to do. Believe me I'd LOVE to stay home but I respect my husbands wishes . That's what submission is about.
3 replies · active 582 weeks ago
I am always reluctant to respond to these sorts of topics as a full-time working wife as I often end up with unpleasant comments, some even go as far as calling me sinful – I have heard it all. The problem with blogging is most people don’t reveal their whole life story – and I certainly won’t here as its private. Whilst I would love to be at home as an older woman (life would be blissful to be honest, no stresses and my housework never takes me very long), I can’t due to our situation. If I left work today the mortgage wouldn’t be paid, the bills wouldn’t be paid and my adult son’s medical care and all his bills wouldn’t be paid. Who would pay for the food we eat? No one is going to pay the $1000’s I pay each month on these things. God has been so good to me, I feel truly blessed in having a job that pays very well, a job that is enjoyable and one that allows me to take my adult son to his appointments at any time needed. I trust the Lord 100% and at this stage this is His plan for me. Why, I don’t know but there must be a purpose, but it is not my place to question the Lord and His decisions. I pray and pray and thus far, this is what He has asked me to do. I will not argue with the Lord.

In saying all of this, I love keeping my home, looking after it, preparing my husband’s meals, gardening, caring for my adult children who no longer live at home. Just because I work doesn’t mean I don’t care for my home and take great care for it. I, like a many women are not living the “lie” we are just doing what we are commanded to do by God.
3 replies · active 582 weeks ago
AMEN!

Why are Christian women chasing the lies of this world?
Why eat the apple of Eden when you have all the other fruit of the garden to choose from?
Thank you Ken, and I really hope Lori is feeling a little better now. I guess the headaches are the result of her recent treatment and I pray that things will start to improve for her. God bless you both.

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