"I would love a big family....I would have as many children as I possibly could. I will probably be very strict with my children. I was very grateful to be raised that way. I loved the boundaries that my parents set and I felt like I matured a lot faster because of it," said Michael Bates, one of the oldest daughters of the Bates family that now has their own television show.
Unfortunately, the parents are not being as strict with their younger children. The mother admitted that they have, "gotten really, really, really soft in our old age." Another older daughter said, "The younger kids get away with murder. Not literally murder, but murder." An older son replied, "When I was growing up, my parents were a lot more strict." The older daughter added, "It use to be when we stuck out our tongue or if we said no, we got a talkin' to. Now the kids will turn around spout off, say no or stick out their tongue and mom and dad will say, 'Isn't that so cute?' And we're thinking, 'It's not really so cute.'" Mrs. Bates confessed, "We have a tendency to spoil them" and the father agreed, "We might just be too tired to get up and handle the situation or we're getting too soft on crime." Then they both laughed.
They took the small children into a store and had to be constantly chasing after them telling them not to touch. They were NOT well-behaved children. If you have to tell your child something over and over again and they're not listening and obeying, they are developing a rebellious spirit.
It's very sad when parents relax their standards on the younger children. It only hurts them as they are growing up less disciplined and it makes raising the children SO much more difficult in the long run. I know these parents love the Lord and His ways but I sure hope they watch this program and realize the mistake they are making in raising their younger children.
Children love and need boundaries! It teaches them discipline so when they grow up, they are disciplined adults and able to live productive lives. We should NEVER laugh at their misbehavior and think it is cute, but discipline them immediately whenever we see disobedience in them. The earlier you train them to obey, the faster and easier they will learn and be a joy to be around.
Don't let your children run the home! In Isaiah 3:12 it states, "As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths." When children are not disciplined and are boss of the home, the parents will be oppressed for children are NOT to rule the home. {This verse also states that women are NOT created to rule over men. It is only times of wickedness and rebellion that women rule, but this if for another post.}
Voddie Baucham gives some great advice on raising children properly. Yes, it takes a lot of time and effort, but it is well worth it as Michael Bates stated so clearly by loving the boundaries and how strict her parents were with her.
elspethbreathinggrace 46p · 530 weeks ago
Our children aren't terrors (when you compare them with your average kid these days), but there is a marked diffrence.
Perhaps you should write about that. Help us out a little bit with your wisdom.
-E
Brit · 530 weeks ago
I did really enjoy the part where they had a training session with the younger kids before going out. The dad made a comment about how important and more effective it is to train when they are b not in disobedience. I'll talk to my kids and set our my expectations before going out, but we don't have "training sessions" at home. I thought that was a good idea.
I agree with a previous comment. I don't know a large (8+ kids) family that hasn't struggled with this.
Lindsay Harold · 530 weeks ago
I think people get more lax as they get older for a few reasons.
1) They forget how much work went into making the older ones behave. This is especially true when there's an age gap between the older and younger kids. By the time the younger ones come along, the older ones are already well-behaved and they're coasting. They forget that every child that comes along has to be taught to mind and to be hard-working and respectful. It doesn't spread to the younger ones automatically.
2) It's tough to keep up the rigorous training year after year. Parents get tired of fighting it out and being consistent. It's easier to just let little things slide. But they forget that letting the little things slide means their children aren't getting the consistency they need to train them right.
3) It's easy to think "I've got this." After all, the older ones are turning out great. You're a pro and can just coast along. They'll turn out fine just because you are great parent, as evidenced by the older kids.
It's our human nature to want to give up and take the easy route, but we can't. The younger children are just as important and need to be trained just as much as the older ones. God entrusted both older and younger children to parents and that charge is a serious one. The younger ones deserve the same careful and rigorous parenting the older ones got. So I think parents need to be aware of the very common tendency to slack up with the younger ones so that they can guard against it and stay true and consistent with their younger kids.
elspethbreathinggrace 46p · 530 weeks ago
And now that they aren't quite so little (8 and 6), I can see where the errors we made are becoming something we have to address now, and we are, albeit imperfectly.
And our older kids say pretty much the same thing you quoted from the Bates kids. In fact they shortcut it by saying we're grandparenting the younger ones.
-E
Jamie · 530 weeks ago
Jamie · 530 weeks ago
Diana · 530 weeks ago
Diana
Cori · 530 weeks ago
Rebecca · 530 weeks ago
I wholeheartedly agree with you that children should be obedient at all times, and that the way we spoil our children today poses an immediate threat to our country. Often you write that wives should obey husbands as employees obey their bosses, citizens obey law enforcement, and students obey teachers. And I shake my head, because these things would seem obvious wouldn’t they? But they're not. Indeed *I* was the one on trial, because I made a child obey me over a simple and routine matter. It is so sad. I just want the children to learn responsibility and academics, but the parents just want them to have fun and get their egos inflated. It seems something as simple as asking kids to pay attention is downright old fashioned nowadays.
Anyway, thank you for allowing me to throw in my two cents!
keysha · 530 weeks ago
Krista · 530 weeks ago
Desiree · 530 weeks ago
jillsremedies 17p · 530 weeks ago
Tiffany · 530 weeks ago
Lady Virtue · 530 weeks ago
Desiree · 530 weeks ago
Lori...it is probably my computer but when I try to reply to anyone I get the word 'cancel' in red next to the submit comment box and I am unable to click on the submit comment box. Just one of the many things that drives me nuts about the computer!!