Thursday, July 23, 2015

Do We Need Sex Manuals?


God created sex to be between a man and a woman who are married. Our society has completely lost sight of this fact. We are suffering the consequences of it. Sex classes, books and blogs are everywhere. Isn't anything sacred anymore? It seems that a man and his wife can figure it out just fine between the two of them since they, hopefully, will be married for many years and have plenty of time to practice.

I love what Elizabeth Elliot wrote in Let Me Be a Woman. I'm not going to tell you where, how, or when to do it. I'm not going to tell you what to wear. I'm leery, as you know, of getting too technical. ...If you get too technical you're going to miss the blessing...Beware of how-to-do-it books. There is danger in analysis...There is something deadly about the relentless scientific probe into the mechanics of sexual activity...It's all "perfectly natural," we're reminded and it is therefore supposed to follow that mystery, silence, and privacy are entirely out of place. We've outgrown that. We're liberated. I very much fear that this liberation is not freedom but a new and demonic bondage. By throwing away the very things which guarded its meaning, we have thrown away the thing itself. What was once priceless is now the cheapest commodity on the market. The new pornographers subvert this last vital privacy; they do our imagining for us. They take away the words that were of the night and shout them over the rooftops, making them hollow...You can buy textbooks, diagrams, and full-color photographs of sexual techniques. We are expected to be a nation of bedroom virtuosos.

In the olden days, they didn't have all the sex material we do but they still managed to have children and keep marriages together better than we do, even up until 50 years ago. All of this sex education hasn't made anything better, just worse in my opinion. I believe any couple can work things out sexually if they sincerely love each other and try to please each other. If they have a physical problem, there are doctors to go see. If they do have an issue that can't be resolved, they can first seek the Lord and ask Him for wisdom and seek an older, godly couple to meet with for counsel.

Our society just makes sex way too big of an issue. Yes, it is an important part of marriage but it isn't everything. Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth" {Proverbs 5:18}. Besides this, the only instructions the Bible has to say about sex is that it is for marriage only and not to deprive each other. That's it!  No, you're not going to have hot, passionate sex the first time or every time you have sex as the movies and TV shows portray but you have ALL of your lives together to learn, practice and grow in the privacy of your own bedroom. Don't fret if it's not what you expected. It will get better! Just keep working on becoming a godly, submissive help meet with a meek and quiet spirit. This will draw your husband to you and is the very best sex enhancer!

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Lady Virtue · 505 weeks ago

Excellent post, Lori. Half the adventure is learning as you go. Somehow I don't think Adam and Eve had a sex manual, and they did just fine, especially for being the first married couple on earth!

This post is just a reflection of how our society has idolized sex and made it the be all and end all of everything. And it's all about using people for pleasure, not reflecting Christ and His church and having children. It makes me very sad. You make a great point that, for all the "sexperts" and manuals out there, we have more broken marriages and fornication than ever. I go to the Bible for guidance on this matter--and everything else.
The only manual we have for sex is the bible. Just read Song of Solomon. Beyond that, no, we don't need a manual. However if an issue that hampers the process comes up, then I speak to my husband and THEN my doctor about it. Otherwise, I totally agree. Great thoughts Lori!

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