Monday, July 20, 2015

Please Don't Tell Women They're Beautiful!


You'll get in trouble if you say she's beautiful! There was a big brouhaha awhile ago on the news about one of the dancing contestants on Dancing with the Stars {which I don't recommend watching} and one of the judges. After she was done dancing, apparently the judge said something like, "You're easy on the eyes." She is a beautiful woman. I could not figure out why this was such a BIG deal. Remember when that sportscaster noticed the girlfriend of one of the football players who was sitting in the stands and he made some remarks about how beautiful she was and got blasted for doing it? I couldn't understand that at all, either. I am reading a book and the author brings up the time President Obama made a remark about how good looking the attorney general was and the President had to apologize. WHAT is up with this? Men aren't allowed to comment on the beauty of a woman??? 

However, the author of this book I'm reading made this comment, "Noticing a woman's looks is sexist, as any good college-educated man knows." Oh, I get it now. Dennis Prager has commented that young adults go into Universities knowing there's a difference between male and female and graduate thinking that they are the same! Feminism has so blurred the lines of sexual identity that men are not supposed to  notice or say anything about a beautiful women because it will be seen as sexist. This is disgusting!

The one woman whom the judge told was easy on the eyes, should have responded by saying, "Thank you!" This used to be a compliment given to women. Instead, she had interviews about how offensive this was and it should not be tolerated. What woman doesn't want to be told she's beautiful? This is a crazy society we are living in.

Supposedly, there are no distinctions between the sexes anymore. Yay! This has helped society become such a better place! NOT! How anyone can believe this shows me that they must be blinded by the enemy of their souls. God was very clear when giving the roles for male and female. Society works beautifully when they are followed and falls apart when they are not. The only thing women seem they can't do, as of today, is play some of the sports like NFL football.

As believers who are called to be salt and light, we MUST live out our God-given roles and shine light upon the darkness. This is our responsibility! Love being a woman, women. Treasure your role as a wife and mother or a godly single woman who shines the light of Jesus. No earthly way can come close to God's marvelous ways. By the way, I also think the woman in the picture is beautiful!

But from the beginning of the creation
 God made them male and female.
Mark 10:6

Comments (19)

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I don't believe in telling people they're beautiful either. Their beauty is something they were given by God and nothing they did to deserve. A friend once told me that she thanked the Lord that her children were not stunningly beautiful as she had seen girls growing up vain and conceited. Much better to encourage someone developing beautiful characters.
Beauty is also in the eyes of the beholder. A man might have a very plain wife, but she has the adornment of Proverbs 31 and that makes her beautiful.
I remember as a teenager preening in front of the mirror; my makeup had to be perfect, my clothes had to be the latest - probably beautiful on the outside and ugly on the inside.
1 reply · active 382 weeks ago
You missed the point of the post, Maria. It was pointing out how men are bashed if they call a woman beautiful. All men will notice a beautiful women! Most women will notice a beautiful woman. The Bible called Sarah a beautiful woman. So what! I agree with you that true beauty comes from within and this is what all godly women should aspire to but to humiliate men who call a woman beautiful and call them sexists is plain ridiculous, since even God's Word pointed out a beautiful woman.
Lady Virtue's avatar

Lady Virtue · 505 weeks ago

Lori, I think of several examples from Scripture of women who were described as "fair": Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Abigail, Tamar...and I'm sure the list goes on. Who would have thought there would come a time when being called beautiful would be insulting! It's just more political correctness run amok.

Indeed, something would be amiss if a man DIDN'T notice a good-looking woman. That's simply how God made them. Nice post; keep 'em coming!
1 reply · active 505 weeks ago
Thanks, Lady Virtue!
I always look forward to reading your posts each day! My favourite posts are the ones that prick my conscience (no I am not weird lol). I had this conversation with my neighbour just this morning. I am in my 30's and do not know what to say to people these days. Before I speak to anyone, whether face to face or via email, I have to make a conscious effort to carefully select my words. Sometimes, I find it easier to remain quiet. When did it get to this stage? What a world we live in! Our courts are clogged up with silliness! Please keep the posts coming, God has your back! It is so refreshing to hear from Mr Alexander. I pray that God will continue to use you both to encourage us along this hard path!
1 reply · active 505 weeks ago
Thank you, Jamila. We must think of other eternal souls whenever we are speaking Truth rather than our own since ours is safe in the arms of Jesus. So many are on the broad path that leads to destruction and this is what compels us to continue teaching Truth.
I think that the problem some see with calling a good-looking woman beautiful is that we have been so conditioned in society to relate physical beauty with sex. We've been sold it for so long on billboards, in the magazine racks at the grocery checkout, on television... You name it! When a man comments or compliments a woman on her beauty, it's now often perceived as a sexual advance. True beauty is a gift and blessing from God. (Job 42:15-- And in all the land were no women found so fair as the daughters of Job: and their father gave them inheritance among their brethren. ---- God blessed Job with fair [beautiful] daughters.) Yes! We as Christians have allowed the devil and this world to corrupt yet another blessing bestowed by God. We need to change our thinking back to God's thinking. God created us MALE and FEMALE. Our body as a woman is CREATED to compliment that of our husband's. We are created that way. There is the true beauty of a woman... When she realizes and fulfills her god-created role and does so willingly and with a cheerful and thankful heart.
1 reply · active 505 weeks ago
Amen! God says that godly women adorn their lives by being submissive to their husbands! The world completely rejects this message and mocks it but this is God's beautiful message to women and I love it
I agree that most of the time time it isn't a big deal and that most women would be pleased to hard that she's beautiful. However I think in the case of President Obama commenting in the attorney general's looks it was pretty unprofessional of him.
4 replies · active 505 weeks ago
He's a man, Taylor, so I don't fault him for it at all.
BlessedGrandma's avatar

BlessedGrandma · 505 weeks ago

Men can say whatever they want. Women should be grateful for the compliment!
They are all men, but maybe mistakenly I notice the difference in the comments of a single non-Christian man, single Christian man, married non-Christian man, and a married Christian man. No doubt they all enjoy a beautiful woman but it seems to me that at least in public and in the presence of his wife the married Christian man practices discernment. Should we bash men for innocently commenting on a woman's beauty - I don't think so, but to me the married Christian man is held to a higher standard taking into consideration his wife and his brothers and sisters in Christ. Since your post is about feminism and the blurring of sexual identity I have ventured off topic. It's a good post and it really got me thinking beyond the topic. I enjoy your blog!
Last night, I asked Ken if he'd mind if I made a comment about how handsome a man was and he said, "No, because you go to bed with me every night!" I told him it's fine to mention how beautiful another woman is as long as she is fully clothed and isn't in a bikini or something immodest!"
I get told often that I am beautiful, by both women and men. It always flusters me, mainly because I don't see it. I respond in a gracious manner. There is no reason to read anything into it or make it into something other than a compliment.
1 reply · active 505 weeks ago
Good for you, Christine. It is a compliment! Many in our society get offended at the silliest things these days and not offended at the most evil and vile things.
I am wondering if being married should determine if we comment on the opposite sex's beauty? Out of respect for my husband I never make a comment about a man being handsome. I agree that all men will notice a beautiful woman and many will comment on it. Some will allow her beauty to encourage them to have ungodly thoughts. The post is right on about feminism blurring the lines of sexual identity. God in his wisdom made us to enjoy beauty. May we seek His wisdom when it comes to enjoying the beauty of the opposite sex.
I love being told I'm beautiful. That's just heartbreaking, from someone who almost never hears it and pines away to just hear it -- to be noticed at all in a good way, instead of always being scolded -- and you are told you are beautiful, and you reject it???? Then you don't deserve to have anyone notice you.
So I'm a little late commenting because I've been trying to find a way to exactly word my response. Firstly, I'm a Christian, submissive wife, mother of more than four, have only ever homeschooled, and seek to dress modestly but stylishly. Secondly, I've been blessed with... how to put this delicately... a God given beauty. I believe we should accept and recognize that God has given us beauty as women. I know my husband truly appreciates me, and I love being a blessing to him.

However, there's more to this 'being called beautiful' thing than you imagine. I understand where you're coming from, but it makes me feel very uncomfortable to be told I'm beautiful, or a looker, or the only reason my kids turned out good looking (while my husband stands by, being very good looking himself). And this is in church, repeatedly. Yes, there's outward beauty, but what about the sister-in-Christ close by that never gets told she's beautiful, but has an inward beauty that outshines everyone's in the room. What about feeling like you're only weighed by your beauty when that's not what the Bible points us to emphasize? I get the world's view, of how sexualized everything has become. They don't know differently. I get the up and down glances, and the cat calls in the grocery store parking lot, and the bald face bold second looks. I try to never meet their eyes, but I let them know I'm watching them, closely. I'm very careful to be safe because sometimes I feel threatened. And it's been that way for a long, long time. Sexualization makes targets of women, and it doesn't feel good. But don't get me wrong, I smile and say thanks if anyone kindly compliments me to my face.

However (last one, I promise), I think it's sad to find this kind of attitude in the church. We should be set apart, sanctified from the world. There should be no looks, or loud comments, or comparisons. There should be no eyes I try to avoid because the looks are not sanctified. What about Jesus teaching that the one who looks has already lusted? Or the quiet inner spirit should be most important? What about a husband/wife only having eyes for each other aka Song of Solomon? Why not guard against lust by not fixating on beauty like Job "I have made a covenant with my eyes, how then could I look upon a maid?" Beauty is a gift, but it's not the most important thing. And that's where I think the world has leeched into the church. Even Christians value beauty over holiness. Would you be drawn to make friends with a beautiful woman, or would you seek out the inwardly beautiful woman, but maybe she's not as beautiful? I appreciate being told I'm beautiful and respond kindly, even more so when they tell my husband because it makes his smile bigger. But, I would rather my kindness, or love, or helpfulness be admired (no, I haven't mastered anything, but I'm seeking to walk worthy). And I will always feel deeply the need to make every woman feel loved, and admired. And I will always, always feel a little sad when I see the admiring looks, or the unkind glares because a significant other has noticed, or wonder if my kindness will be taken as something it's not. But I always thank God for my husband's love and for the men of the church who show me true brotherly love.
1 reply · active 505 weeks ago
Anonymous hits on the real issue, I believe. Even if men can somehow detach themselves from the sex side of it both men and women have to deal with being caught up with external beauty. Thanks for speaking Anon!

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