Monday, July 6, 2015

Men are Commanded to Be the Providers!


There is not one place in the Bible that God commands women to provide for their family. God specifically commands men to be the providers. But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel {1 Timothy 5:8}. Do you notice that this command is all in the male pronoun? Also, the curse given to man in Genesis 3:17 was through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life. My Dad never wanted my Mom to work outside of the home. He became a doctor and worked hard so she could be at home and raise his three daughters. Most men back then did not want their wives to work outside of the home. They knew it was their responsibility to provide for the family.

Oh, how far we've come thanks to the feminist's movement and women being discontent in their God-ordained calling. Read the entire chapter of 1 Timothy. Widows under 60 years old are commanded to remarry, bear children and guide the home so the adversary has no occasion to speak reproachfully. Widows over 60 years old are supposed to be supported by their family, if they have one and if not, the church is to take care of the widows. John MacArthur has said that his church takes care of its widows. They aren't supposed to have to leave their homes and work.

Men are commanded to provide for their families. If they don't, they are worse than an unbeliever! This is harsh language but this is why I love Paul. He doesn't water down the Truth but speaks it boldly. There is also nowhere that Scripture commands men to be keepers at home or guide the home. It doesn't say that a wise man builds his home but a foolish man tears it down. This verse is specific to women. The curse woman was given in Genesis was I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you will bring forth children, thus her life revolves around the home and family, not having to bear the burden of providing for it.

Therefore, this is God's ideal for families. The wife is the keeper at home and the husband is the provider for the home. Easy. Uncomplicated. They both know their roles. The husband is the leader. The wife is the help meet. The roles are not blurred in any way. There's no fighting about who will do the dishes or who will make the money. It's clear and easily understandable. This is the way God ordained it. He likes things orderly since there is less division when things are orderly and operating in their given place.

Yes, we live in a fallen world but we should always be striving for God's ideal since it is best for us. If your husband wants you to work, gently explain to him that God commands that he provide for the family. If he isn't convicted, work joyfully as unto the Lord and pray He will convict your husband. He is a powerful God and we can put our whole trust in Him for He is good.

For God is not the author of confusion, 
but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.
1 Corinthians 14:33

But all things should be done decently and in order.
1 Corinthians 14:40

Comments (27)

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Great Post as always Lori. I am so grateful that my husband was such a godly man who followed scripture and worked so hard for our family of 4 children. He worked in hard manual labor and yet never complained. I do remember that we had to set our budget to keep in line with our income. No new cars, homes, etc. We were very frugal and lived with second hand things. I did not mind. This is one of the things that breaks my heart to see how many women are never satisfied and are so into materialism. This is the excuse many times for the women to work is that they need to pay for the "extras". This is a lie from Satan. Never are we promised that we deserve new anything. We must live within our means and that is based on one income. Wives need to make sure they are not putting too much pressure on their husbands to earn more or make them feel like they are a disappointment.
1 reply · active 507 weeks ago
My friend may lose her husband soon- she is 30 and they have three children. Thankfully young widows aren't too common here. He is a city employee with good life insurance at least. It sad she much consider these things like money at a time like this. I am glad she is a sahm though, it is no trouble for her to be at the hospital daily.
1 reply · active 507 weeks ago
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Daddy's Girl · 507 weeks ago

I just met a lady last month that told me that her husband was a stay-at-home dad. I cringed! Even before I understood God's word about my role and my husband's role, I knew that type of arrangement wasn't right. I asked her why did they decide on that and she told me it was because she made more money...yikes!! She told me he shopped for grocery, cooked, cleaned and took care of the kids:( . A man cannot nurture like a woman. He is not designed that way. How does this work??? I would never want to put that burden on my husband. She was smiling but she seemed stressed on the inside. The stay-at-home dad arrangement has always been broken to me. I get that the man may be out of a job but I would rather him work at Mcdonald's than being at home.
1 reply · active 507 weeks ago
A lot of women I know are concerned with having their own financial independence, in case their marriage ended. I know, it's a terrible outlook to have in your marriage. I am one of those women who didn't pursue a career, became a stay at home mom, and found myself in a failed marriage after 14 years. This is a very unfortunate and sad problem that is reality for a lot of women, and I truly believe this is one reason women are choosing to work over staying home. I have a close friend in her 50's who has emotionally and financially suffered terribly after her husband left her, after she committed herself to staying home to raise their three kids. I believe the worst problem we face in society is failing marriages. Too many of us grew up in broken homes and have trouble trusting in love that will last, we live with those memories that scar us for the rest of our lives. By the Grace of God, I still have hope and love in my heart.
1 reply · active 507 weeks ago
I loved this post! How very timely it is. Thank you for posting it. I would like to make a small correction if I may. Adam and Eve were never cursed. The curse that God spoke life to was a curse to the serpent after Eve stated that the serpent made her do it. The second curse ever spoken was to the ground itself because Adam chose to eat the fruit that Eve gave to him. They both of course had horrible consequences (pain during childbirth and what the soil will be like which Adam will grow food from).

Thank you again such timely posts. They are very needed for this generation as well as upcoming one.
1 reply · active 507 weeks ago
The problem is we live in a watered down society with watered down churches. There are so many husbands even in our church in positions of authority who don't get it. Even our pastor has his kids in school and his wife went to work recently!! She actually became a teacher not in a christian school. The public school system!!!!!!!!!
I really like reading the strong message about men here, Lori, about being providers. Some may think what was written about husband not being providers is as bad as being an unbeliever to be harsh. But it is in thoughts very true. Your blog is so encouraging to even men even though it was designed for woman.
Too many times we get caught up in the now!! Immediate gratification: big cars, big houses and even to extremes, adultery. We all want the now!!! Instead of realizing we are here to serve others and look after the commandments God has given us
1 reply · active 507 weeks ago
Yes, yes, yes, Lori. Excellent post! I am grateful my wonderful husband has been a hardworking and diligent provider all our married lives and has never wanted me to work outside the home. It has been a stressful, demanding career for him much of the time, but he has never faulted on his responsibility. (We help, financially and other ways, our children and especially for our little grandchildren now. Our grandchildren's mother doesn't work outside the home.:) Do you consider it a good idea to assist them a lot? Our children are responsible hardworking adults and grateful. It is still a large sacrifice for us to give though.)
1 reply · active 507 weeks ago
Love your post as always, Lori! What I would love to hear you expound on is the issue of SAHM/wives after the children are gone OR as the children reach high school/college age. It seems as though there is much talk about mothers being at home just to raise kids and take care of the family, however there is little discussion about stay at home wives. I have seen many times where the mom chooses to stay at home but then as soon as the kids are approaching college age or even younger like say towards high school age, the mothers start to plan the "second half of their life" so to speak as if the children were the only reason for staying home. Many marriages fall apart AFTER the children have left the nest and I wonder if it's because once a woman feels like she has "done her duty as a mom" that is somehow just stops there. If she chooses to work or go back to school (which is so common) then she has allowed distractions in her marriage that would take away from her ability to continue to serve her husband and even possibly be available to spend time with her grandchildren. Also to mentor her adult children and also other younger women. I would love to see more women discussing keepers of the home with an empty nest! Thank you for always speaking truth!
1 reply · active 507 weeks ago
Hello Lori, this is a difficult post for me to read since it does expose too much what is wrong in my marriage. My husband does not work and is not even inclined to look for work or take care of me. He now lives with his parent in another country (we live in Europe) so i can work and pay off debts. There are no children, and when he is home he does not help with the house but spends most of his days and nights behind the computer. He hates my faith in the Lord and i am left without any energy after these six years together. I have prayed and hoped, gave over my worries to God but the situation does not change. I am left wondering how to go on
3 replies · active 507 weeks ago
Husbands should be the "primary" provider of course. However, Proverbs 31 describes a wife who is financially active outside fo the home in some capacity.

I don't think it's clear cut like your OP indicates and generally up to the particular couples themselves.
4 replies · active 478 weeks ago

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