She tried submission because she saw how great it worked for her friend's marriage. Her friend's husband was loving and attentive to her friend. He even helped with the housework so she tried giving submission a try. Well, after a month, her husband was still not helping with the housework so she was angry and decided submission didn't work.
Yes, this is how some women approach submission. They approach it as just another manipulative tool in their arsenal of "changing my husband to be what I want him to be." She found out quickly, even this didn't work.
If you are "trying out" submission to change your husband, you need to do a heart check. Our motive for obeying God's commands should never come out of a selfish goal of changing someone else, but changing us, making us more like Jesus and pleasing the Lord.
Yes, the Bible does state that a woman MAY win her disobedient husband by having a godly lifestyle but this is due to her husband being drawn to the Jesus he sees in her by her gentleness, kindness and love she shows towards him. It doesn't guarantee anything, especially that your husband will become everything you want him to be, like helping you with the housework.
We must change all of our goals into God-honoring goals instead of self-serving ones. Our desire should be that our husbands are more drawn to the Lord and His ways instead of to our ways. Women certainly don't need one more way to try to manipulate their husbands to do what they want, instead of walking in obedience to the Lord which requires denying our self and our wants and placing them at the feet of Jesus.
Remember that when you are submitting and obeying your husband, you are submitting and obeying the Lord. He is the One you want to please and He asks that you submit to and obey your husband, even if you see no good thing come from it here on this earth. You are storing up treasures in heaven and this is the best bank to put your investment into because moth, rust, and fire can't destroy it and neither can thieves steal it.
But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal; For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Matthew 6:20,21
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mbb · 505 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 505 weeks ago
Linda · 505 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 505 weeks ago
HappyHomemaker · 505 weeks ago
And for the woman who thought that submission would get her husband to help. She is totally missing the point. That's not it at all, to me that's like going to church or tithing so that God will bless you. I also don't know if this woman works or not, but I look at it like this---my man goes to work EVERYDAY and works out in the heat (we live in the south and the humidity and heat here are torturous at times) to take care of us. I am blessed beyond anything I could ever deserve by the fact that he wants me at home. The LEAST I can do is take care of our son, house and meals without him having to help. If you are a stay at home wife, do you truly know how blessed you are? I've done both and thankfully my husband enjoys me being at home and I am not selfish enough to think he should help with the housework after he sweats and works all day. My mama did not raise a "princess", my mama raised a woman.
Also, when my eyes were first opened to submission, I talked to my preacher. He told me that since my husband wasn't saved and didn't come to church, that I was to take the spiritual lead in our house. I will say that this was a conflict for me for so long, it just didn't feel right, but hey he's the preacher so he knows right? Then one day it dawns on me that my bible says that wives are to submit to their husbands---- there were no stipulations, such as, as long as he's saved or as long as he does the right thing or as long as he helps around the house--nope, it just says wives are to submit to their husbands. It also doesn't say that as long as he does what the Bible tells husbands to do either (love their wife as the church), it only says wives are to submit. For anyone having problems with this, I cannot stress enough how much Created to Be a Helpmeet helped me!
Lori Alexander 122p · 505 weeks ago
Mrs.M · 505 weeks ago
I have been reading for a while and I love what you have to teach. I love seeing an older woman take seriously the call to mentor us younger women. I have a general question that is sort of but not entirely related to this post (and I would love to get your husband's opinion too on how he would want his wife to act in this situation.)
My husband loves video games, and he has been hinting recently that he would like me to play with him. Comments about how nice it is when his friend's wives play with them, etc. And I would love to play with him, except that I hate playing video games! I like to read in the evenings to relax, and I hate being on the computer any more than required. I have tried playing with him before in the past and I did not enjoy it at all.
Now I am a big believer in a couple having shared hobbies and having fun together, and we already share a few hobbies, board games, movies, hiking, and I have taken up fishing which was originally his hobby in order to be able to join him. Since I get no enjoyment out of playing I am afraid that if I agreed to play in order to please him I would end up resentful every time he asked "hey wanna play tonight?" because the honest answer would be no, I wouldn't want to play (and he plays pretty much every night.)
It's not really an outright question of submission, because he is not directly asking or telling me to do something (in which case I would) it's more a matter of pleasing him. He is a wonderful husband and always takes my opinions and preferences into account so If I just said outright that I don't enjoy playing he would probably never say anything about it again, because he wouldn't want to "make" me do something I don't like. Thoughts?
Ken · 505 weeks ago
This is where a loving discussion comes in to explain that you would love nothing more than to please him in this area, but that you really not only don’t enjoy the video games, but wish he did not spend so much of his free time playing. I guess it is probably a more valid form of entertainment than tv, but the addictive quality to it is a concern.
If you could find one game that you could get good at and play it a couple hours a week with him, would that be enough to please him? Can you play the video game and then he plays a board game with you?
So I don’t believe submission demands that you enjoy the same entertainment. But I am not your husband who would have the final say. Ignoring a desire like this if it is not a request or demand is acceptable and you should not feel badly about it. It is such a non-essential that I would either discuss it with him or just show a little interest while he is playing to learn a certain game without putting in too much time on something you simply don’t enjoy. If he makes a stronger request you learn, then a good discussion should take place. I can’t see a husband requiring such a thing, but also do see pleasing the Lord by pleasing your husband as paramount, just as a husband lovingly serving a wife in return as paramount. Two both palying their roles should resolve this quickly.
Ask good and caring questions to your husband and you will most likley discover that he is not interested in you sufferring playing video games to try gto please him.
Mrs.M · 505 weeks ago
Maria · 505 weeks ago