Disagreeing Versus Disrespecting

If you've read my blog for very long, you know that I teach that a marriage should not have arguing in it since it is forbidden in Scripture. The Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged {2 Timothy 2:24}. As women who desire to honor God in all that we do, we strive to not argue and quarrel with our husbands at all. Does this mean we can't disagree with them? No!

When we disagree with our husband, we can tell them as long as we do it in a meek and gentle manner. One book that should sit by your bedside and be read a little bit every day should be A Discourse on Meekness and Quietness of Spirit since having a meek and quiet spirit is precious in the sight of God. It isn't easy to read, takes concentration and meditation but it is well worth your effort. Matthew Henry wrote, "Quietness is recommended to us in the Scriptures as a grace which we should be endued with, and a duty which we should practice." It is not something that comes naturally to us especially since we are being surrounded by and bombarded by the feminist influence, even in the church.

You don't always have to give your opinions, if you disagree. It's okay to be silent and accept your husband's opinions. If after pondering you decide you feel compelled to give your opinion, speak it in a kind and loving way for love is patient and kind. If you force your opinion upon your husband or begin arguing, you are disrespecting him which is also forbidden by God. Your husband deserves your respect since God has put him in authority over you to protect and provide for you. God commands you respect him and the majority of husbands are worth respecting. Even if they are not, you do it in obedience to the Lord.

If you have trouble discerning when disagreement turns into respect, ask your husband to help you to discern the difference. You will probably know quickly after the discussion if you maintained respect towards your husband during the conversation. If you did not, apologize quickly for as you confess your sins, they are in the open and become much more difficult to hide. Light exposes darkness.

Remember, practice makes perfect. Most of us are used to arguing and disrespecting our husbands. It was modeled to us and it is the only way we know how to communicate with them. Look up all the verses about arguing, quarreling and respecting husbands and memorize them for we are transformed by the renewing of our minds with God's Truth. With God ALL things are possible. The more you learn to NOT disagree with your husband and be quiet instead, the easier it will be to never disrespect him!

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop 
than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 21:9

It is better to live in a desert land than with a 
quarrelsome and fretful woman.

Proverbs 21:19

A continual dripping on a rainy day and 
a quarrelsome wife are alike.

Proverbs 27:15